Parents Keep Child’s Gender Under Wraps

Jason P

You know how some families start college funds for their children .... well this couple should start a therapy fund ... this kid is going to need it someday!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps

But the email sent recently by Kathy Witterick and David Stocker of Toronto, Canada to announce the birth of their baby, Storm, was missing one important piece of information. "We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now--a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...)," it said.

That's right. They're not saying whether Storm is a boy or a girl.

There's nothing ambiguous about the baby's genitals. But as Stocker puts it: "If you really want to get to know someone, you don't ask what's between their legs." So only the parents, their two other children (both boys), a close friend, and the two midwives who helped deliver the now 4-month-old baby know its gender. Even the grandparents have been left in the dark.

Stocker and Witterick say the decision gives Storm the freedom to choose who he or she wants to be. "What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It's obnoxious," adds Stocker, a teacher at an alternative school.

.... see link for rest of story

BinauralJam

That's a boy.

Jason78

What a couple of tards. What's between my legs is a huge part of who I am......no pun intended.

Lizard

Jason78 wrote:

. What's between my legs is a huge part of who I am......no pun intended.

what a purty putty you have there.

Prince Of Dorkness

Meh. not sure it's going to matter much.

By the time the kid is old enough to speak or communicate, his or her sex will be very apparent.

CJMST3K

It won't be too long before the parents get ticket off at everyone calling their baby "it".



What is it's favorite food?

Does it talk yet?

How much does it weigh?

norm

CJMST3K wrote:

It won't be too long before the parents get ticket off at everyone calling their baby "it".



What is it's favorite food?

Does it talk yet?

How much does it weigh?

SatansFuton

I'm all for being progressive, but this is a little much. And I think it has little to do with the well being of the kid and more about them trying to prove/flaunt how progressive they think they are. In the article I read they were talking down on their own friends and family for even daring to ask what the sex of any baby (not just their own) is.

It is possible to raise your kid and allow them to be their own person without pretending like they are asexual. The kid has genitals, you can't get away from that. Now if the kid decides it is gay, trans-gender, or whatever, then they can support that. No need for this game. I think they just want the attention and to pat themselves on the back for being so progressive.

Cosmo

CJMST3K wrote:

It won't be too long before the parents get ticket off at everyone calling their baby "it".

What is it's favorite food?

..
The answer being either Tacos or Hot Dogs should be a clue... unless it is gay.

norm

Cosmo wrote:

CJMST3K wrote:

It won't be too long before the parents get ticket off at everyone calling their baby "it".

What is it's favorite food?

..
The answer being either Tacos or Hot Dogs should be a clue... unless it is gay.

maybe in the future it will turn it's taco into a hot dog

Lizard

norm wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

CJMST3K wrote:

It won't be too long before the parents get ticket off at everyone calling their baby "it".

What is it's favorite food?

..
The answer being either Tacos or Hot Dogs should be a clue... unless it is gay.

maybe in the future it will turn it's taco into a hot dog

Becoming Chaz!

CJMST3K

norm wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

CJMST3K wrote:

It won't be too long before the parents get ticket off at everyone calling their baby "it".

What is it's favorite food?

..
The answer being either Tacos or Hot Dogs should be a clue... unless it is gay.

maybe in the future it will turn it's taco into a hot dog

I don't think the technology is advanced enough yet to turn an inny into an outty....

Go Beavers

It's an interesting social experiment that forces people to face their own gender biases and role expectations. What's the first thing people ask when someone has a baby? Does it matter if the baby is a boy or a girl? Why? The kid will develop it's own gender identity just fine and probably have fewer expectations/constraints placed on him/her by his/her parents based on gender. Sometimes the whole "what is it?" question makes me think it's still 1955.

SatansFuton

Go Beavers wrote:

It's an interesting social experiment that forces people to face their own gender biases and role expectations. What's the first thing people ask when someone has a baby? Does it matter if the baby is a boy or a girl? Why? The kid will develop it's own gender identity just fine and probably have fewer expectations/constraints placed on him/her by his/her parents based on gender. Sometimes the whole "what is it?" question makes me think it's still 1955.

I don't find it all that interesting, just parents who think THEY are interesting. People also always ask how much a baby weighs, it goes hand in hand with the gender question most times. And the purpose is not to form an opinion on whether or not it's a sloppy baby who needs to shed some pounds, or put fitness expectation on it. It's a simple question. Does it matter? Not really, it's usually just friendly conversation. I know I've asked new parents that question several times, just to make conversation. Nine times out of ten I don't give a shit about their baby.

Why does asking a question like that make you think it's 1955? It's not like they're asking whether or not the baby has ever been a member of or associated with members of the Communist party. And they aren't asking what the sexual orientation of the child is or anything like that. They can raise a child without putting any gender expectations on them. Apparently they already do, in the article I read (not this one) they showed one of the other children in the family, a little boy with pig tails. This is it..



What extra purpose does keeping the gender secret provide? Because it would appear that their children are already free to explore gender roles as they please. The boy is free to wear his pink dress and pig tails as well as paint his nails. And that's fine, but I fail to see the point of withholding the gender.

Go Beavers

SatansFuton wrote:

Go Beavers wrote:

It's an interesting social experiment that forces people to face their own gender biases and role expectations. What's the first thing people ask when someone has a baby? Does it matter if the baby is a boy or a girl? Why? The kid will develop it's own gender identity just fine and probably have fewer expectations/constraints placed on him/her by his/her parents based on gender. Sometimes the whole "what is it?" question makes me think it's still 1955.

I don't find it all that interesting, just parents who think THEY are interesting. People also always ask how much a baby weighs, it goes hand in hand with the gender question most times. And the purpose is not to form an opinion on whether or not it's a sloppy baby who needs to shed some pounds, or put fitness expectation on it. It's a simple question. Does it matter? Not really, it's usually just friendly conversation. I know I've asked new parents that question several times, just to make conversation. Nine times out of ten I don't give a shit about their baby.

Why does asking a question like that make you think it's 1955? It's not like they're asking whether or not the baby has ever been a member of or associated with members of the Communist party. And they aren't asking what the sexual orientation of the child is or anything like that. They can raise a child without putting any gender expectations on them. Apparently they already do, in the article I read (not this one) they showed one of the other children in the family, a little boy with pig tails. This is it..



What extra purpose does keeping the gender secret provide? Because it would appear that their children are already free to explore gender roles as they please. The boy is free to wear his pink dress and pig tails as well as paint his nails. And that's fine, but I fail to see the point of withholding the gender.

I think the point is because it forces the question of why people ask. People often respond more positively if it is one gender over another if you pay attention to the same person's reaction over time. People treat babies differently based on whether it's a boy or a girl, not everyone, but a lot. It reminds me of 1955 because gender roles were way more rigid back then. It's much less often that people ask if the baby is healthy, or it's the fifth question down the line. To me, the health of the baby and mom are the most important questions.

Within the family they are free to explore gender roles, so it's more about society pushing those roles on children.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

idiots. what is this going to prove? by the time the child is able to set aside gender biases to the point of making any sort of impact on its life, it will:

a) have long disclosed its gender
b) been so fucked up from identity crises that it will need extensive therapy

Go Beavers

Dave Eh wrote:

idiots. what is this going to prove? by the time the child is able to set aside gender biases to the point of making any sort of impact on its life, it will:

a) have long disclosed its gender
b) been so fucked up from identity crises that it will need extensive therapy

Why will he/she have an identity crisis?

Prince Of Dorkness

I don't think they're going to hide the gender from the child him or herself...

They're just not going to say "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" and just let it be a "child."

unsung

It will end the very first day that child attends a school.

Let's worry about what really matters; jobs, the economy, reckless spending, useless foriegn aid, etc.

pandora

:?
how come everyone can know the gender of their other two children?

seems like they are making a statement at the expense of one child,
making that child different from the rest of the family.

SoonForgotten2

This is so incredibly stupid. Why must everything be made more complicated than it needs to be these days? People need to stop procreating. End of.

BLACK35

I think they should have named it "Pat"

Godfather.

sounds like "its" parents are looking for media attention or their own reality show...they could call it........
"dumbass parents of mystery crotch"

Godfather.

Jeanwah

Poor kid. Perhaps the parents are unsatisfied with the sex, which is disturbing, hence the ambiguous name.

And do they need the public attention? It sure sounds like it, or they'd deny interviews.

_

That's AWSOME! If it weren't for the archaic pronoun system in the English language, we really wouldn't "need" to know anyone's sex.

As for accusations that refusing to be made to conform to damaging gender norms will cause psychological trauma, it says in the article that the parents first did some research & found that this has been done before & the kid turned out just fine. The only thing I see that might be psychologically damaging is the kids' names, but plenty of kids have had far worse names & turned out okay.

SatansFuton wrote:

They can raise a child without putting any gender expectations on them. Apparently they already do...

Apparently they can't though. They said they have tried to raise their other children without gender expectations, but the kids still receive strong messages from society, being made to feel bad if they don't conform to the gender roles of their sex - and they're only 2 & 5! They have realized that protecting their young children from this social scrutiny & ridicule, unfortunately, requires them to not even let people know their sex - that way society doesn't have a chance to impose hurtful gender norms on the kids until the kids themselves want to share it. (I'm sure they would have done the same with their other kids if they had realized it was necessary, but we can't fault them for trying to improve their parenting mid-family.)

Think about it though. I can't order a McDonald's happy meal without being asked whether it's for a boy or a girl, and when I say it doesn't matter, they always insist on receiving an answer, as if their job can't be done without one. I've told many people that when I have kids I'm not going to tell the sex until the kid is born. (Why, by the way, should this be acceptable, but delaying the announcement for another few years us not?) Anyway, EVERYONE always says, "Well then we won't be able to have your baby shower until after you deliver, because we won't know what kinds of things to get in what colors." When I tell them that's the point, that they shouldn't be buying babies gifts based on their sex, even my very own mother says that's nonsense & she's going to do it anyway. So, really, it seems like once you let the cat out of the bag, you're screwed; there's really nothing you can do to protect your children. Gender expectations are forced upon impressionable children before they ever even have a chance.

mikepegg44

looks like someone took a sociology class.

seriously...if someone asks you if you have a boy or girl what is the harm in that? it isn't any different than them asking you what the colors are in your nursery...it is something that is nice to know, certainly not necessary...


sometimes I have to wonder how we made it this far with these horribly damaging gender roles ruining kids lives everyday...

SoonForgotten2

Again, why must this be complicated. Yes there are gender expectations, norms, etc. There are always going to be norms and expectations based on class, colour, religion, ethnicity and gender. It's really not the end of the world. There will always be those who break free of the mould and many who are happy to exist within it. Does it really need to be more complicated than that? There are many things in life that are unfair. McDonald's giving a young girl a "female" happy meal is pretty low on the list to me.

Jeanwah

_ wrote:

Apparently they can't though. They said they have tried to raise their other children without gender expectations, but the kids still receive strong messages from society, being made to feel bad if they don't conform to the gender roles of their sex - and they're only 2 & 5! They have realized that protecting their young children from this social scrutiny & ridicule, unfortunately, requires them to not even let people know their sex - that way society doesn't have a chance to impose hurtful gender norms on the kids until the kids themselves want to share it. (I'm sure they would have done the same with their other kids if they had realized it was necessary, but we can't fault them for trying to improve their parenting mid-family.)

The bolded part is garbage. You don't have kids, so how do you now, other than what you read, scb? I know that my child, as well as my nieces and nephews never felt pressured by society at the tender ages of 2 - 5. Kids want what they want. Many boys show feminine tendencies while many girls show masculine interests. You can't blame society for that, that's just what the child naturally gravitates to. Parents can encourage a specific way of life, but if they let the child bloom on their own, they find what they lean towards without any help. The media does push sociological norms, but its up to parents themselves to limit television exposure.

Blockhead

Experimenting with your children is never a good thing. Instead of putting all this time and research into seeing how potentially harmful this could be, why don't the putt that kind of time into parenting and raising the child to break gender sterotypes (if thats their concern) by reinforcing their child they can do which ever activities they want boy or girl. No matter how they raise that child, the child's enviroment will still play a huge role. If you want to escape society then do it by living on a island/ not relying on society, not by experimenting with your child.

Prince Of Dorkness

Jeanwah wrote:

The bolded part is garbage. You don't have kids, so how do you now, other than what you read, scb? I know that my child, as well as my nieces and nephews never felt pressured by society at the tender ages of 2 - 5. Kids want what they want. Many boys show feminine tendencies while many girls show masculine interests. You can't blame society for that, that's just what the child naturally gravitates to. Parents can encourage a specific way of life, but if they let the child bloom on their own, they find what they lean towards without any help. The media does push sociological norms, but its up to parents themselves to limit television exposure.

I know when I was a kid I was told "boys play ho key and girls figure skate."

I never wanted the toy guns that boys got as presents, I wanted the toy puppies and butterflies. But society has a way of forcing gender roles on kids.

Clearly by the time the child is able to walk and speak it will be able to choose those but it might have been nice to not have outside influences force kids to be "blue" or "pink."

SoonForgotten2

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

Clearly by the time the child is able to walk and speak it will be able to choose those but it might have been nice to not have outside influences force kids to be "blue" or "pink."

These are the concerns of a privileged society. I have no idea what the colours were of any of my shit when I was a newborn. I don't much care either. There are thousands of things to be concerned with in this life, but this isn't one of them.