Admitting you're a Racist
Jeanwah
Posts: 6,363
I was notified by a good friend last week that she is racist after years of thinking that she wasn't. And she tells me this news like she's happy about it and then actually waited for me to come back with an "I am too", which never happened. After numerous times of her proudly admitting this and explaining why, I had to tell her to simply "STOP TALKING!" It just hurt my ears. I don't judge my friends, they're good people, but I just wanted that conversation over with.
So this got me thinking. How many people do you know who actually admit being racist and are proud of it? It's certainly not common. And to admit to such a nasty value is beyond me.
So this got me thinking. How many people do you know who actually admit being racist and are proud of it? It's certainly not common. And to admit to such a nasty value is beyond me.
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I did have a friend once who said in earnest, "I'm not biggoted, I hate all assholes equally." That sort of made sense for a few seconds until I thought a) I'm sure I've been an asshole before (or even worse, a hemorrhoid- assholes serve a useful purpose) and b) hating people serves no useful purpose what-so-ever.
Later, the same friend said, "Any guy with a crew cut is an asshole. Anybody!" Well, yeah, this was back in the early '70's but still, give me a break! Besides, we've determined assholes serve a useful purpose so I have no problem with crew cuts either. Not my style, but each to his own.
No... no racism for me either. I'm for Eracism: http://www.eracismfoundation.org/
-Eddie Vedder, "Smile"
he's a fucker.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
*shakes head*
and the only time she's racist is with me.
i guess that's a double standard and offensive to some people but we joke about each other being asian.
:oops:
You know that tshirt?
I know a few and I know some who just don't give a dang, a person is a person till they prove them selfs different,there are racist in every group people but as someone on here said that the word itself is abused
to a point that if 2 person's of different color don't agree on something sooner or later 1 will be labled a racist.
Godfather.
I'm Sicilian (We know the history of that, right?) and a family member married someone of Canadian decent who is racist. His children have Greek, Arab, Africa, Norman in them because of the Sicilian blood but he fails to see this. He will not recognize it. Every time I hear one of his son's spew racist remarks, I make a point to remind them that they come from Sicily. It's useless though because on the outside they portray that they don't give a shit. On the inside, I couldn't tell you but I do know what's on the outside comes from the inside.
I'll give you an example of my experiences with them because it's not just name calling.
The most recent is this man (the father - who is not a man who doesn't know any better, but a man who'll tell you what everything means & how it should be done - he's one of those) joined a conversation I was having about the inner city of my city. He jumped in and began stating that we had all the issues of what we were talking about misplace or absolutely wrong. That's his thing. He does that. It's excruciating to witness ... anyway ... He asked if we actually saw the inner city and what it was. Firstly, I didn't understand the question but I guessed with a series of appropriate answers. He kept smirking and half heartedly shaking his head and just let out the phrase 'Blacks'. "Too many blacks", he says. Believe me, I don't let him get away with it. Unbeknownst to him, I had been spending a lot of time in the inner city as of late (volunteering), so I began comparing how many "Blacks" existed between the inner city and his suburban sprawl and where I'd come across 'blacks' traveling by public transit. Guess what? The inner city of my city has less blacks (Chinese, Arabs, Koreans, etc. etc. ... truly) in poorer areas than in the suburbs. It's all white people. I eventually brought that to his attention but I was ignored. Literally. This did teach me one thing though. That racists only see what they wanna see.
This happened about a month ago. Here's the funny thing. An African Canadian family just moved onto his street, literally, right across the street from his house. Hilarious. If he wants to sit on his porch, guess whose porch he'll be facing ...lol. Here's the kicker ... they're muslim too LMAO! I love it!
1998: Barrie
2000: Montreal, Toronto, Auburn Hills
2003: Cleveland, Buffalo, Toronto, Montreal
2004: Boston X2, Grand Rapids
2005: Kitchener, London, Hamilton, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto
2006: Toronto X2
2009: Toronto
2011: PJ20, Montreal, Toronto X2, Hamilton
2012: Manchester X2, Amsterdam X2, Prague, Berlin X2, Philadelphia, Missoula
2013: Pittsburg, Buffalo
2014: Milan, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin, Stockholm, Oslo, Detroit
2016: Ottawa, Toronto X2
2018: Padova, Rome, Prague, Krakow, Berlin, Barcelona
2023: Chicago X2
2024: New York X2
And for the record, Like Green Day proclaims "I want to be the Minority", so do I. Because I'm embarrassed by the hatred of the majority. I feel the pain of already being a minority since I'm still disabled and have a child with a developmental disability. The view from a minority's viewpoint makes the big picture clear.
constantly judging everyone, its just the way they deal with people.
Labeling, generalizing, categorizing, putting others in a mold that fits
what they think they are.
Color, religion, sex, appearance, locality, political persuasion, economic status, disability...
on and on.
By taking another's individuality away from them and judging them solely on that,
they are being prejudicial.
This, for me, far worse than the occasional racist I meet in my travels.
Racism is often a taught fault... prejudice a choice... a way of forming opinions of others,
when that's a negative response everyone loses.
As for having prejudicial and stereotypical views of others, I actually end up wondering what shaped someone to have views like that. Usually it is a conditioned fear, learned through an (or many) experience. I could have chosen to hate based on many of the things I that I have experienced, however, I just choose not to let the fear rule me. To me, it's as simple as that. For others, it doesn't come so easily and I understand that completely.
I am 6'2, am I acceptable?
You should shrink an inch or two over your life time so i will give the benefit of the doubt.
I hope I don't shrink, I hope I somehow get to 6'3 or 6'4.
I am curious... as to me this isn't very clear and really makes a difference... IMO.
Re: the above quote.
Did your friend realize she is racist after years of thinking SHE wasn't?
Or did she notify you that she is racist after years of YOU thinking she wasn't.
Who was caught off guard by this realization... just you or both of you?
Thanks....
Yes.
Or did she notify you that she is racist after years of YOU thinking she wasn't.[/quote]
no. It had nothing to do with me. All her.
Who was caught off guard by this realization... just you or both of you?
Thanks....
both are learned from life experience and by example.
I too have let my emotions take me to an irrational place because of negative experience.
Perhaps this is a fleeting place for your friend and is based on something
she is experiencing now in her life or collectively.
My son was beaten, held at gunpoint and robbed as a teen by a couple of black boys.
This brought me to a really bad place although I knew it was irrational.
After being brought up without prejudice, and teaching my children the same by example,
I just couldn't get over the hate that came over me.
It was wrong to judge all for something just two did and I knew this but it took time to work through it.
I hope this might be the case with your friend Jean.
Opinions can change daily most especially when we let love in.
While some are based in fear, stereotypes in general don't have to have an association with fear, as there are many harmless stereotypes, and even some complementary stereotypes. It seems like it's just something that we are told or hear at some point and our minds selectively pick experiences or observations to back that up (while ignoring contradictory ones).
If you have been told that Chinese people are bad drivers, and one day a Chinese person cuts you off, for some reason that might stick with you because it backs up your preconceived notion about a race's driving ability. But on another day, if a white guy cuts you off, you quickly forget about it and move on.
We all have stereotypes ingrained in us, whether they are based on race, nationality, sex, age, what sports team someone roots for/plays for, what college they went to, what political party they belong to, etc etc etc., but most people can see through it and acknowledge that they are irrational and see people for who they are, or how they act individually.
But some people, whether it's out of a deeper ingrained hatred or fear, seem to rely on these stereotypes and take them to unhealthy levels.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I don't know Pandi. Out of nowhere she "proclaims" this, and expects me to agree. Then she goes on, and that she'd never let her daughters marry out of her race, regardless of love. It's just sad.
Agreed
Back to business, I'm confused by the OP. Was your friend happy b/c they realized they were racist and so knew that they needed to work on their worldview? I.e., they identified the problem and as a result knew what had to be done to fix it? Or were they simply happy that they'd discovered they were racist?
The bolded part. And Haffajappa, I just now get your screenname, too!
I think it's context. I know every joke about New Zealanders known to man (living next to the Aussies we get to hear them a lot). I make plenty of jokes about Kiwis, and my mates make plenty of jokes as well... but if someone I didn't know made a comment that seemed mean-spirited or uncalled for, I'd probably be pissed. But at the same time, if they were just generally joking around I'd try and see the funny side of it... unless the joke wasn't funny, in which case I'd just think they were a weirdo
That's a tough thing to do. My father-in-law is like that - he'll readily argue with anyone who'll listen that he should be allowed to use the n-word if he wants to. He genuinely believes that him not being allowed to use that word is just the PC police being prejudiced towards white people (he thinks white people are now the most persecuted people in America). I try and ignore him whenever possible (he's pushing 60 and, like you said, won't ever change), but there's usually a devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear that I should tell him to shut the fuck up and stop acting like a bigoted idiot. That devil is pretty damn loud, too.
it seems to be same across the board with that.........like black people who choose to use the N word. if they do it, it's ok, cause it's empowering or something. I'm ok with it, cause I don't use it anyway.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014