Sex question for the guys

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Comments

  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    Suzi78 wrote:
    Do you discuss or talk about sex in general? I think a good way to start having an open sex dialogue is to do it while you're not having sex, or about to have sex. Try to bring up a fantasy while you're doing something else(and tell him all the details), ask him what he thinks about it, if it turns him on. I know some people hate texting, but sometimes it's actually a good way to build up a sexual mood when you're not physically together. And for sexually shy people, it's a good beginner's course on learning how to express your desires. And if you are being detailed about what you would like to do to him or want from him, then eventually he might become more comfortable and start responding verbally.

    Good luck. Hope it works out for you guys :)
    this or sent him for a week to me...and ill sent him back to you...ready....to Rock.... 8-)
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    seriously... is this thread about a woman asking a man what he wants sexually and the guy won't tell her? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

    to be fair to the guy, a woman shouldn't say "do what you want to me" cos the last time a woman said that to me ... well.. lets just say you'd be amazed at the places you can put a pineapple.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    Do something to his arse


    I actually snorted with laughter when I read this :lol: ... brilliant.I did that to a few,more liked it than would admit in public :D
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    stargirl69 wrote:
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    Do something to his arse


    I actually snorted with laughter when I read this :lol: ... brilliant.I did that to a few,more liked it than would admit in public :D

    I have so much to say but I can't....I'll get Chadwicked.
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • HeisenbergHeisenberg Posts: 4,957
    Lighten the mood by telling him you want to give this a try.

    http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-j ... a-de-bunda

    If he laughs then maybe it will loosen him up. He if says yes...RUN!
  • Gibson72Gibson72 Posts: 1,245
    My wife and I have been together 10 years. Our sex life isn't the same as it was when we first for together but it still has it's moments
    best thing you can do is do something to him and are his reaction. If you try to stick something somewhere- he will probably jump.
    Then when you are into it, tell him what you want Him to do to you
    a smart guy will do it right then & there.
    Gibson1972
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    I think I might know where your guy is coming from.
    You said that he came out of a long relationship and it wasnt good.
    It is quite possible that he is just enjoying the simple side (or standard side... ok, more traditional side) of good sex. Im not calling the sex simple, but trying to point out that he is proabably being honest when he says he likes everytihng you do. I have said that plenty of times myself. Some guys think of sex like pizza, its ALL pretty good.

    You also hinted (I could be wrong), but he might be shy and/or religion might be affecting him. Also, if its only a few months, things will change in a few more months.

    I was in a relationship with a lady who wasnt very sexual or adventurous (i was 24). It was only a year, but it made me kinda lazy when I got into the next relationship. And at the same time, (in the next relationship) it made me really enjoy the traditional sex because it was simply better than the previous.

    Now, jump to my current relationship, and its a high flying circus with security nets and dangerous animals.

    I'd also say that he sounds legitimately pleased with you.. Just keep on course, but DONT PRESSURE HIM. Also, dont be afraid to just blurt out what YOU want though. Some of us guys need it spelled out for us. ;)
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    sensuous_woman.jpg

    img068.jpg

    timeless techniques and fabulous fun ....

    what good communication and sex requires :D

    in my opinion
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    Beer helps.
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    Thanks, everyone, for all the words of wisdom! :D

    I've tried the arse bit and, yes, he was very communicative about not wanting that. (Too bad... he'd probably like it.)

    Yes, alcohol certainly does help! It helps me, anyway. :D I certainly had a few in me (a few DRINKS! Get your mind out of the gutter!) when I just straight up offered to do (almost) anything he wanted. But he recently quit drinking, so my plan to get him drunk & have my way with him is off the table.

    I think books can really be quite useful, but I think it might be offensive to suggest that he read one. :lol:

    I thought about withholding until he tells me what he likes. I wonder if that would work. Or, I wonder if it would work better if I decided to start withholding right at the crucial moment until he opens up. :twisted: Maybe then he'd tell me everything... like Chunk with his hand in the blender. :lol:
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    I think I might know where your guy is coming from.
    You said that he came out of a long relationship and it wasnt good.
    It is quite possible that he is just enjoying the simple side (or standard side... ok, more traditional side) of good sex. Im not calling the sex simple, but trying to point out that he is proabably being honest when he says he likes everytihng you do. I have said that plenty of times myself. Some guys think of sex like pizza, its ALL pretty good.

    You also hinted (I could be wrong), but he might be shy and/or religion might be affecting him. Also, if its only a few months, things will change in a few more months.

    I was in a relationship with a lady who wasnt very sexual or adventurous (i was 24). It was only a year, but it made me kinda lazy when I got into the next relationship. And at the same time, (in the next relationship) it made me really enjoy the traditional sex because it was simply better than the previous.

    Now, jump to my current relationship, and its a high flying circus with security nets and dangerous animals.

    I'd also say that he sounds legitimately pleased with you.. Just keep on course, but DONT PRESSURE HIM. Also, dont be afraid to just blurt out what YOU want though. Some of us guys need it spelled out for us. ;)

    I think you're probably right that he's just enjoying sex no matter what & maybe doesn't feel like there's anything to communicate. I should be thankful for that - and, on one level, I really am! He's easy to please & he's great at what he does. He's not asking me to do anything I wouldn't feel comfortable with, or become a contortionist or anything. He's very generous! What more could a woman want, right?

    I just enjoy being with him so much that I just want things to get better & better, for me, but especially for him - and I think that's difficult without good communication. I guess it's partially my problem, because I am kind of afraid to just blurt out what I want unless we're both saying it. And I fear that I'm starting to become lazy & think I'm not going to go out of my way to find new & better ways to please him if he doesn't communicate enthusiasm about it & is happy with the status quo, which is easy for me because he usually does all the work. I should probably just not pressure him, and have faith that he'll open up in time. (Time seems to move so slowly since I don't get to see him too often.)

    :lol: I'm starting to understand where the phrase TMI comes from... :oops:
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    seriously... no love for the pineapple?
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 16,704
    . I told her "no limits" I want to know everything that turns you on and I'll do the same..
    Of course that can be dangerous if her answer is :

    A. A guy who's twice as big as you.
    2. Dunkman with a pineapple
    Third. Strapping one on and doing the driving
    Quatro: All of the above.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • JennytreeJennytree Posts: 5,340
    dunkman wrote:
    seriously... no love for the pineapple?

    Reminds me of those photos of Helen's hen-night :lol:


    OP, maybe the two of you just aren't sexually compatible?
    This is me:
    http://www.facebook.com/jennytree

    SMELL YER MA!
  • Suzi78Suzi78 Posts: 362
    Suzi78 wrote:
    Do you discuss or talk about sex in general? I think a good way to start having an open sex dialogue is to do it while you're not having sex, or about to have sex. Try to bring up a fantasy while you're doing something else(and tell him all the details), ask him what he thinks about it, if it turns him on. I know some people hate texting, but sometimes it's actually a good way to build up a sexual mood when you're not physically together. And for sexually shy people, it's a good beginner's course on learning how to express your desires. And if you are being detailed about what you would like to do to him or want from him, then eventually he might become more comfortable and start responding verbally.

    Good luck. Hope it works out for you guys :)
    this or sent him for a week to me...and ill sent him back to you...ready....to Rock.... 8-)

    What will you do to him? Will you try the trick that Ziggy suggested? I think he'll just end up liking that too (but was just too shy to ask for it):)
    How I choose to feel is how I am
  • HeisenbergHeisenberg Posts: 4,957
    _ wrote:

    I think you're probably right that he's just enjoying sex no matter what & maybe doesn't feel like there's anything to communicate. I should be thankful for that - and, on one level, I really am! He's easy to please & he's great at what he does. He's not asking me to do anything I wouldn't feel comfortable with, or become a contortionist or anything. He's very generous! What more could a woman want, right?

    I just enjoy being with him so much that I just want things to get better & better, for me, but especially for him - and I think that's difficult without good communication. I guess it's partially my problem, because I am kind of afraid to just blurt out what I want unless we're both saying it. And I fear that I'm starting to become lazy & think I'm not going to go out of my way to find new & better ways to please him if he doesn't communicate enthusiasm about it & is happy with the status quo, which is easy for me because he usually does all the work. I should probably just not pressure him, and have faith that he'll open up in time. (Time seems to move so slowly since I don't get to see him too often.)

    :lol: I'm starting to understand where the phrase TMI comes from... :oops:

    Have you ever just tried doing some of the things you are curious about rather than having a discussion about it with him first? I agree that communication is key, but if the guy isn't ready to open up verbally then he's just not ready. Maybe you just need to dive head first into some of the things you are wanting to try and gauge his reaction. If he recoils then obviously don't be pushy but I highly doubt he's going to complain (unless of course you take Ziggy's suggestion or bring a pineapple into the equation).

    That's just my two cents and I'm bowing out of this now because "Gremmie Out of Control" just came on the old IPod and it just seems wrong to have a sex discussion during that song.
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    It might be offensive at first but when reading and learning together
    you may both start having so much fun he will forget to feel offended
    and enjoy the closeness it encourages...a sexual journey of excitement.
    the books provide more than just lust in the boudoir too :D
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 16,704
    Suzi78 wrote:
    Suzi78 wrote:
    Do you discuss or talk about sex in general? I think a good way to start having an open sex dialogue is to do it while you're not having sex, or about to have sex. Try to bring up a fantasy while you're doing something else(and tell him all the details), ask him what he thinks about it, if it turns him on. I know some people hate texting, but sometimes it's actually a good way to build up a sexual mood when you're not physically together. And for sexually shy people, it's a good beginner's course on learning how to express your desires. And if you are being detailed about what you would like to do to him or want from him, then eventually he might become more comfortable and start responding verbally.

    Good luck. Hope it works out for you guys :)
    this or sent him for a week to me...and ill sent him back to you...ready....to Rock.... 8-)

    What will you do to him? Will you try the trick that Ziggy suggested? I think he'll just end up liking that too (but was just too shy to ask for it):)
    Those crazy Greeks...never leave their friends' behind.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    dunkman wrote:
    seriously... no love for the pineapple?
    :lol::lol: I haven't tried a pineapple. Maybe that will be my next effort. :D
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    Jennytree wrote:
    dunkman wrote:
    seriously... no love for the pineapple?

    Reminds me of those photos of Helen's hen-night :lol:


    OP, maybe the two of you just aren't sexually compatible?

    NO - DON'T SAY THAT!! :shock: I appreciate your perspective, but I'm not ready to draw thar conclusion.
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    _ wrote:

    I think you're probably right that he's just enjoying sex no matter what & maybe doesn't feel like there's anything to communicate. I should be thankful for that - and, on one level, I really am! He's easy to please & he's great at what he does. He's not asking me to do anything I wouldn't feel comfortable with, or become a contortionist or anything. He's very generous! What more could a woman want, right?

    I just enjoy being with him so much that I just want things to get better & better, for me, but especially for him - and I think that's difficult without good communication. I guess it's partially my problem, because I am kind of afraid to just blurt out what I want unless we're both saying it. And I fear that I'm starting to become lazy & think I'm not going to go out of my way to find new & better ways to please him if he doesn't communicate enthusiasm about it & is happy with the status quo, which is easy for me because he usually does all the work. I should probably just not pressure him, and have faith that he'll open up in time. (Time seems to move so slowly since I don't get to see him too often.)

    :lol: I'm starting to understand where the phrase TMI comes from... :oops:

    Have you ever just tried doing some of the things you are curious about rather than having a discussion about it with him first? I agree that communication is key, but if the guy isn't ready to open up verbally then he's just not ready. Maybe you just need to dive head first into some of the things you are wanting to try and gauge his reaction. If he recoils then obviously don't be pushy but I highly doubt he's going to complain (unless of course you take Ziggy's suggestion or bring a pineapple into the equation).

    Oh, yeah, I do that. But there's not much non-verbal communication either so, unless he tells me not to do something, I still don't know what he likes more than other things, ya know?
    That's just my two cents and I'm bowing out of this now because "Gremmie Out of Control" just came on the old IPod and it just seems wrong to have a sex discussion during that song.
    :lol::lol:
  • Cree NationsCree Nations Posts: 2,247
    :ugeek:
    >>>>
    >
    ...a lover and a fighter.
    "I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa

    http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians

    Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
    Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
    Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
  • Kilgore_TroutKilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    i for one just like sex... i don't have a particular fetish or fantasy that i'm desperate to try... i don't want anyone to try weird butt play like cosmo so often suggests... i'm just happy to be getting what i'm getting

    would i be game for some kinky shit if the person i was with really wanted it? probably - depends. i wouldn't be the one to initiate it though... but hey, i'm irish catholic and feelings don't come naturally :)

    i truly get more satisfaction out of knowing my gf/lover is satisfied than anything else
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • JennytreeJennytree Posts: 5,340
    _ wrote:

    NO - DON'T SAY THAT!! :shock: I appreciate your perspective, but I'm not ready to draw thar conclusion.


    :oops: Sorry... I'm always such a pessimist!
    This is me:
    http://www.facebook.com/jennytree

    SMELL YER MA!
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    Poncier wrote:
    Suzi78 wrote:
    this or sent him for a week to me...and ill sent him back to you...ready....to Rock.... 8-)

    What will you do to him? Will you try the trick that Ziggy suggested? I think he'll just end up liking that too (but was just too shy to ask for it):)
    Those crazy Greeks...never leave their friends' behind.
    :mrgreen:
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    Suzi78 wrote:
    Suzi78 wrote:
    Do you discuss or talk about sex in general? I think a good way to start having an open sex dialogue is to do it while you're not having sex, or about to have sex. Try to bring up a fantasy while you're doing something else(and tell him all the details), ask him what he thinks about it, if it turns him on. I know some people hate texting, but sometimes it's actually a good way to build up a sexual mood when you're not physically together. And for sexually shy people, it's a good beginner's course on learning how to express your desires. And if you are being detailed about what you would like to do to him or want from him, then eventually he might become more comfortable and start responding verbally.

    Good luck. Hope it works out for you guys :)
    this or sent him for a week to me...and ill sent him back to you...ready....to Rock.... 8-)

    What will you do to him? Will you try the trick that Ziggy suggested? I think he'll just end up liking that too (but was just too shy to ask for it):)
    no,ill try to learnhim to respect women after he does what i tell him to do... 8-)
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    1. Make him a sandwich.
    2. Wear funderwear.
    3. Light a candle.
    Or, for the trifecta, do them all.


    Thanks to Dunk and Poncier, I just declined a snack of pineapple.
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    Have I posted in here before?

    Seems like the kind of thread I should have posted in :think:
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    Claireack wrote:
    Have I posted in here before?

    Seems like the kind of thread I should have posted in :think:
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • CallawayCallaway Posts: 635
    What's this "boyfriends" name? I won't be surprised if you say Pam or Mandy. :P
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