Peeing

Dissidentman

I was at a bar in Providence one night and was peeing at a urinal next to my buddy. They had the small dividers between them, so I truned a little and started pissing all over his shoes. Drunk bastard didn't even notice.

he still stands

this board is so fucking fascist... I can't believe this thread would potentially get shut down. I guess I'll spend more time over at Jesus Loves Doug Stanhope.

Anyway... a college friend was walking home from the bar and had to poo, so he stopped in a stranger's yard and let one go. He didn't even get behind a bush or anything... just next to a single tree where anyone could see him. It was funny. And gross. But mostly funny.

RKCNDY

I have a pee story in the boards...you'll have to find it....

I have peed in public, because SF is not a friendly public peeing place....I didn't have change for those paid port a potties

I too, like RYEz can pee off the back of a boat, never tried a pick-up, but same thing as a boat...trucks just don't bounce as much.

There is a website on the net that teaches girls to pee standing up...

dcfaithful

Okay, I'll share...

When I was 16-17 or so some friends and I got way, way, WAYYY fucking drunk on grain alcohol. Needless to say, that was a bad idea. We made our way to Taco Bell and I ordered the chicken quesadilla (again, a bad idea). We went back to my friend Blake's house... well, after getting too drunk off of everclear and OJ, I puked up my quesadilla. After recovering from that, I decided I needed to take a monster pee, so, I stepped outside because I knew I was too drunk to accurately aim and not make a mess that I sure as hell didn't want to clean up.

There I am, hose in hand and I passed out in the middle of urination, fell over (still with hose in hand), and pissed on myself.

It was pathetic. Sadly, I didn't learn my lesson and I still drink. Not that heavily though, mind you.

dr0ptheleash

Release Me wrote:

obscure peeing reference - curb your enthusiasm when Larry has the violent peeing and it splashes on the picture of jesus (or was it mary? I forget). that's what I think of everytime at the urinal at work.

hahahha YES! It was definitely Jesus... everyone thought the picture had come to life and shed a tear, stigmata-style. hilarious. Love me some LD.

dr0ptheleash

Oh and,
IBTL.

JonnyPistachio

RYEzupSF wrote:

Pee stories and observations:

-recently I was hanging at the beach with my friend. We had decided to get really really high. I realized I really had to pee after consuming several corona tall boys, a coffee, water etc. It took awhile because I was really high. I was so high I couldn't walk. I started an internal debate- should I just wet my pants? Once I come down I can just run across the street to my house and change. I realized I would be sitting in pee for awhile, so I decided to pee right there. I got under the blanket and pulled my shirt down so I was covered and then went about my business. They guys hanging in front of us totally busted me. Laughing I raised my arms to say "WHAT?!" Raising my arms raised my shirt and the blanket kind of fell off. I full on flashed them all. I have no shame.

-NYC during the holidays. I’m very drunk with friends. We leave the bar. I have to pee. I find a park. I pee in said park. Then I realize it’s a Christmas tree lot and I have just had my ass exposed to all of 6th Ave.

-I've told this one before. Stuck in traffic on the bay bridge for hours. had to pee. surrounded by much larger vehicles. nothing to pee in, or on, except my shirt- since it would absorb the liquid. So I took my shirt off, crouched down, and peed on it. (mind you all the cars around me can see in and are watching) Dropped it out the window. Sat in traffic in my bra for a few more hours. Got a good tan though.

-port o potties- for anyone they are disgusting- for a chick they are especially disgusting. Especially at concerts or places where a lot of beer is consumed. I've begun wearing long dresses. I can talk to you and pee at the same time. You are none the wiser.

-I’m a chick and I can write my name in the snow, I can pee hanging off of a boat, out the end of a moving pick up (Montana style). I will pee anywhere. I can’t believe I haven’t gotten ticketed for indecent exposure.

haha, I thought you were a dude until the bra part, but it made it even funnier that I still tried to imagine you as a dude in a bra, pissing in your shirt! thanks for sharing.. thats some funny stuff!

JonnyPistachio

dcfaithful wrote:

Okay, I'll share...

When I was 16-17 or so some friends and I got way, way, WAYYY fucking drunk on grain alcohol. Needless to say, that was a bad idea. We made our way to Taco Bell and I ordered the chicken quesadilla (again, a bad idea). We went back to my friend Blake's house... well, after getting too drunk off of everclear and OJ, I puked up my quesadilla. After recovering from that, I decided I needed to take a monster pee, so, I stepped outside because I knew I was too drunk to accurately aim and not make a mess that I sure as hell didn't want to clean up.

There I am, hose in hand and I passed out in the middle of urination, fell over (still with hose in hand), and pissed on myself.

It was pathetic. Sadly, I didn't learn my lesson and I still drink. Not that heavily though, mind you.

haha, at least you didnt have to face the pee/vomit combination att he same time. now thats gross.

Dissidentman wrote:

I was at a bar in Providence one night and was peeing at a urinal next to my buddy. They had the small dividers between them, so I truned a little and started pissing all over his shoes. Drunk bastard didn't even notice.

haha, you're that guy?! I have a friend like you too. infact, he's the one who accidentally peed on my from the top of the parking garage. He's peed on my 4 times. Been friends since first grade, so that averages only one peeing-on per 7 years though.

Well, I wondered about the lock thing, but this came about because i've been talking to everyone about asparagus pee. apparantly some are immune to it coming out stinky, so I ask everyone. its certainly guest conversatoinable to me.

81

RYEzupSF wrote:

Pee stories and observations:

-recently I was hanging at the beach with my friend. We had decided to get really really high. I realized I really had to pee after consuming several corona tall boys, a coffee, water etc. It took awhile because I was really high. I was so high I couldn't walk. I started an internal debate- should I just wet my pants? Once I come down I can just run across the street to my house and change. I realized I would be sitting in pee for awhile, so I decided to pee right there. I got under the blanket and pulled my shirt down so I was covered and then went about my business. They guys hanging in front of us totally busted me. Laughing I raised my arms to say "WHAT?!" Raising my arms raised my shirt and the blanket kind of fell off. I full on flashed them all. I have no shame.

-NYC during the holidays. I’m very drunk with friends. We leave the bar. I have to pee. I find a park. I pee in said park. Then I realize it’s a Christmas tree lot and I have just had my ass exposed to all of 6th Ave.

-I've told this one before. Stuck in traffic on the bay bridge for hours. had to pee. surrounded by much larger vehicles. nothing to pee in, or on, except my shirt- since it would absorb the liquid. So I took my shirt off, crouched down, and peed on it. (mind you all the cars around me can see in and are watching) Dropped it out the window. Sat in traffic in my bra for a few more hours. Got a good tan though.

-port o potties- for anyone they are disgusting- for a chick they are especially disgusting. Especially at concerts or places where a lot of beer is consumed. I've begun wearing long dresses. I can talk to you and pee at the same time. You are none the wiser.

-I’m a chick and I can write my name in the snow, I can pee hanging off of a boat, out the end of a moving pick up (Montana style). I will pee anywhere. I can’t believe I haven’t gotten ticketed for indecent exposure.

loadedgun

Dissidentman wrote:

I was at a bar in Providence one night and was peeing at a urinal next to my buddy. They had the small dividers between them, so I truned a little and started pissing all over his shoes. Drunk bastard didn't even notice.

What he's not telling us, is that he does this at HIS bar......

LloydXmas

I just peed, burped and farted at the same time. Damn 5 guys

comebackgirl

HeartShapedBox wrote:

If you're caught "peeing" around these parts, you have to register as a sex offender, because you're publicly exposing yourself...

but you could get Uromysitisis poisoning

Gary Carter

few years back at a nyc meetup i was so drunk that i walked into a stall and didn't even once hit the toilet bowl. just pissed everywhere. i was way way hammered that night. i think it was at the village pourhouse.

DewieCox

From the age of 15 to 23 there wasn't a public bathroom that I entered that didn't get at least a little mischievous pissing. Resaurants, gas stations, you name it it got the pee. If the place had a drain that was as good as a toilet to me. Few paper towels or tp rolls survived.

Lotta random party hosts have had their toiletries whizzed on, also. If it was out in the open it was in trouble. Wasn't really just toiletries either I guess. Towels and bathroom appliances were common targets.

Ran over a possum once, had to pee. What better place to go than on an ugly marsupial?


I blame it on the fact that I've had to go #2 in alot of horrible places. gross bathrooms, interstate exit ramps, my pants on a school bus, cheerleader's house halfway to a basketball game...

The Juggler

it's not so much fun when you do it in public and have meddling police officers try give you citations and shit. :x

eddiec

I was coming back from Penn St to Delaware with my hockey team. We took 3 of those large vans for the roadtrip. All the coaches were in one van- not ours. Whilst in State College we decided to sneak a quarter keg onto our van for the long ride home. We were the lead van so the other two were following us. This seems gross now but not at the time- we brought a few 2 liter coke bottles to piss in and empty out the windows. Apparantly the van behind us, with all the coaches in it, had to keep the wipers going the whole time because the piss was flying into their windscreen. There were 10 of us drinking beer and peeing. One of the guys in our van had a major case of stagefright and just couldn't piss into the bottle. After relentless begging to stop we finally pulled over for him. We were all pretty hammered by this point, i think there were a few bottles of Jack going around as well. Anyway, the minute we stopped, our coach came flying into our van screaming about the piss hitting the window. He found us in a wasted state and obviosly went ballistic. He asked to see the liquor and someone gave him an empty bottle of Jack. He screamed for a while and sent us on our way. We finished the keg and sang a few drunk songs about what an asshole the coach was. We continued to pee in the bottles. Needless to say every player on our van was suspended for the next game.

12345AGNST1

This thread is pure win.

A few of my delightful experiences.

One night in NYC, me and my friends drinking, completely smashed. We go INSIDE a random building and peed in sort of the foyer area. Then we hear a guy over the loud speaker asking us what were doing. We bolted.

At my friends college apartment in boston. I was drunk and had to pee but the bathroom was being used. So I opened her window and peed out of it in her room. We also went on the roof and peed there.



Thats nothing though, You guys dont even want to know what I would do taking shits when I was young.

actually Il go, this is the internet.

I hate middle schoolers to death because of the piece of shit that I was....

One time at a mcdonalds i purposely shat next to the toilet instead of in it. The janitor found out and we ran away.

I would shit on playground slides at night...

I shat in a yellow page book and closed it

shat in a bag and threw it at my middle school sign during the summer.


Keep in mind I WOULD NEVER do this again. call me sick, nasty, a psycho, whatever. I laugh at how stupid i was.