Peeing
JonnyPistachio
Posts: 10,217
Peeing can be fun if you're a guy.
Sorry girls.
fun:
-I got caught by police peeing on a tree in key west. They let me go. thats funny. (drunk) :oops:
-On a trip back from Key west once (differnt trip), I was riding in the back of my brothers truck (drunk), and we pulled over to pee. I had to pee so bad i almost died. It felt so good to finally pee. Then I looked up at the sign of the building I was peeing on.. SHERRIFs OFFICE!
-I had too much to drink at a wedding once, and went to relieve myself. I came out of the stall and a woman was standing by the mirror looking at me funny. There were no urinals in that bathroom. :oops:
-Spelled my name on a wall in gainesville a few times. 11 letters is a lot of pee.
-when I was in high school, I'd wake up and have to pee so bad, but I had a 'morning problem', so i went outside in the woods. i'd always laugh at the giant arched stream going directly up.
-best of all though -- if you're a male -- on long road trips you dont have to stop if you have an empty two liter bottle.
Not so fun:
-at a Metallica/jerry cantrell concert at an outdoor ampitheather on the grass hill.. towards the end I looked over an d a drunk fat guy was just peeing out in the open with like 5,000 people. Nice.
-In the florida keys again, theres one shithole bar, i dont know where, there is a trough for peeing in. its a pee river. A guy peed on my flip flops once. gross.
-When we were kids, my best friend and I used to stand on the top rail and pee off the top of an abandoned parking garage. One day I stood too close and it was windy. gross.
-I drank a few beers the other day and my pee smelled so bad I screamed out , "I'm dying, my pee is poison!" My g/f reminded me that I had asparagus for dinner. gross.
ok I'm bored as hell... tell me your good/bad pee stories...
Sorry girls.
fun:
-I got caught by police peeing on a tree in key west. They let me go. thats funny. (drunk) :oops:
-On a trip back from Key west once (differnt trip), I was riding in the back of my brothers truck (drunk), and we pulled over to pee. I had to pee so bad i almost died. It felt so good to finally pee. Then I looked up at the sign of the building I was peeing on.. SHERRIFs OFFICE!
-I had too much to drink at a wedding once, and went to relieve myself. I came out of the stall and a woman was standing by the mirror looking at me funny. There were no urinals in that bathroom. :oops:
-Spelled my name on a wall in gainesville a few times. 11 letters is a lot of pee.
-when I was in high school, I'd wake up and have to pee so bad, but I had a 'morning problem', so i went outside in the woods. i'd always laugh at the giant arched stream going directly up.
-best of all though -- if you're a male -- on long road trips you dont have to stop if you have an empty two liter bottle.
Not so fun:
-at a Metallica/jerry cantrell concert at an outdoor ampitheather on the grass hill.. towards the end I looked over an d a drunk fat guy was just peeing out in the open with like 5,000 people. Nice.
-In the florida keys again, theres one shithole bar, i dont know where, there is a trough for peeing in. its a pee river. A guy peed on my flip flops once. gross.
-When we were kids, my best friend and I used to stand on the top rail and pee off the top of an abandoned parking garage. One day I stood too close and it was windy. gross.
-I drank a few beers the other day and my pee smelled so bad I screamed out , "I'm dying, my pee is poison!" My g/f reminded me that I had asparagus for dinner. gross.
ok I'm bored as hell... tell me your good/bad pee stories...
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Now when I pee in the snow, I usually just write PISS
I hope the next person to come along after I've written my signature appreciates my creative mind.
UPDATE: I also remembered one time I peed into Niagara Falls. I gave my Johnson the nickname "Maid of the Mist" for about a day and then I forgot about it. Good times.
true, true.. I said I was bored.
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
whatever helps you focus!
I'm telling you pee creativity is important. Teach it to your children everyone.
Now i want it to Snow!
I was just thinking to myself, "81 is usually on top of threads like this. I wonder what's taking him so long."
All in due time. Just tuck that one away in your winter jacket with a $10 bill. Then come next winter you'll stick your hand in your pocket and feel like you've won the lottery.
because i've been there
didn't pp in a trough
the bar is beside a hotel and neither had a name
the signs are in neon and they read
HOTEL and BAR
"what a long, strange trip it's been"
Kat told me (a thread I was in) once that when we're unsure if something is okay to talk about, imagine as if you were in a guest's house, and choose your course of action from there.
I think I'd be okay talking about peeing to a guest. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
-recently I was hanging at the beach with my friend. We had decided to get really really high. I realized I really had to pee after consuming several corona tall boys, a coffee, water etc. It took awhile because I was really high. I was so high I couldn't walk. I started an internal debate- should I just wet my pants? Once I come down I can just run across the street to my house and change. I realized I would be sitting in pee for awhile, so I decided to pee right there. I got under the blanket and pulled my shirt down so I was covered and then went about my business. They guys hanging in front of us totally busted me. Laughing I raised my arms to say "WHAT?!" Raising my arms raised my shirt and the blanket kind of fell off. I full on flashed them all.
-NYC during the holidays. I’m very drunk with friends. We leave the bar. I have to pee. I find a park. I pee in said park. Then I realize it’s a Christmas tree lot and I have just had my ass exposed to all of 6th Ave.
-I've told this one before. Stuck in traffic on the bay bridge for hours. had to pee. surrounded by much larger vehicles. nothing to pee in, or on, except my shirt- since it would absorb the liquid. So I took my shirt off, crouched down, and peed on it. (mind you all the cars around me can see in and are watching) Dropped it out the window. Sat in traffic in my bra for a few more hours. Got a good tan though.
-port o potties- for anyone they are disgusting- for a chick they are especially disgusting. Especially at concerts or places where a lot of beer is consumed. I've begun wearing long dresses. I can talk to you and pee at the same time. You are none the wiser.
-I’m a chick and I can write my name in the snow, I can pee hanging off of a boat, out the end of a moving pick up (Montana style). I will pee anywhere. I can’t believe I haven’t gotten ticketed for indecent exposure.
Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
That was You?
Well it certainly wasn't the moon.
Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
Anyway... a college friend was walking home from the bar and had to poo, so he stopped in a stranger's yard and let one go. He didn't even get behind a bush or anything... just next to a single tree where anyone could see him. It was funny. And gross. But mostly funny.
I have peed in public, because SF is not a friendly public peeing place....I didn't have change for those paid port a potties
I too, like RYEz can pee off the back of a boat, never tried a pick-up, but same thing as a boat...trucks just don't bounce as much.
There is a website on the net that teaches girls to pee standing up...
- Christopher McCandless
When I was 16-17 or so some friends and I got way, way, WAYYY fucking drunk on grain alcohol. Needless to say, that was a bad idea. We made our way to Taco Bell and I ordered the chicken quesadilla (again, a bad idea). We went back to my friend Blake's house... well, after getting too drunk off of everclear and OJ, I puked up my quesadilla. After recovering from that, I decided I needed to take a monster pee, so, I stepped outside because I knew I was too drunk to accurately aim and not make a mess that I sure as hell didn't want to clean up.
There I am, hose in hand and I passed out in the middle of urination, fell over (still with hose in hand), and pissed on myself.
It was pathetic. Sadly, I didn't learn my lesson and I still drink. Not that heavily though, mind you.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
hahahha YES! It was definitely Jesus... everyone thought the picture had come to life and shed a tear, stigmata-style. hilarious. Love me some LD.
IBTL.
haha, I thought you were a dude until the bra part, but it made it even funnier that I still tried to imagine you as a dude in a bra, pissing in your shirt! thanks for sharing.. thats some funny stuff!
haha, at least you didnt have to face the pee/vomit combination att he same time. now thats gross.
haha, you're that guy?! I have a friend like you too. infact, he's the one who accidentally peed on my from the top of the parking garage. He's peed on my 4 times. Been friends since first grade, so that averages only one peeing-on per 7 years though.
Well, I wondered about the lock thing, but this came about because i've been talking to everyone about asparagus pee. apparantly some are immune to it coming out stinky, so I ask everyone. its certainly guest conversatoinable to me.
What he's not telling us, is that he does this at HIS bar......