Suggestions/Advice

KR10
KR10 Posts: 17
edited February 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
I am need of some advice and or suggestions.

I was out the other night with a friend and I ended up meeting a really nice girl who I asked out.

We went out this past Saturday for dinner and a few drinks and had a really nice time. Before the date we had exchanged text messages and a few pone calls so we had a chance to get to know eachother a little bit which made it easier for the date.

We had a really nice time on the date and before we were even finished with our meals we made tentative plans to see eachother again (she is going out of town from today until Friday night).

She has a son and I know based on conversations that she will have her son this coming weekend.

My question is: Is it too early (after only one date) to ask her out on Valentines Day?

I was talking to another friend about this yesterday and I was convinced in my mind that there was no problem with asking her out for Valentines Day. She has given me every indication that she is intereseted in me (sending me a few text messages day after our date - Super Bowl Sunday - to see if I was having a good time at the party that I went to and later on to see if I was enjoying the game and to tell me about her day). I take this as a good sign so I thought it was a good idea and planned to ask her out on V Day.

Yesterday I was talking to another friend of mine who has put some doubt in my mind about asking her out on V Day. He stated that it was too soon and that Valentine's Day is for couples and not for second dates.

I am still thinking about asking her out because she seems interested in getting to know me (she even sent me a message a little while ago to let me know that she just got off her flight and that she made it safe - which I think is pretty cool - because I sent her a message this morning wishing her safe travels). I am of the thought that if I dont ask her out then she will be dissapointed and she would think that I am not interested (which I am).

Any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

What should I do here? I know that it would only be a second date but I dont want to scare this girl off if I ask her out on V Day or make her feel like I am not interested if I dont ask.

Thanks everyone.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • pjfan31
    pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    If she seems shocked you ask her out just say 'oh I totally forgot it was Valentines day' play it cool champ.

    Also, if date is successful, I think just a simple Rose would be in order, nothing too flashy but still speaks volumes.

    Good luck, just sus it out...
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  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    V-day is fine in my opinion. If she likes you and you like her, it doesn't matter if it Valentine's Day. If you had asked about when is a good time to meet the kid - that is a good ways away. I say V-Day is a go.
  • KR10
    KR10 Posts: 17
    I was thinking about the whole, "Would you like to go out on Monday," route (trying to avoid saying Valentine's Day). If she mentions that it is V Day then I will guess I will take it from there and judge her reaction. I am thinking about a restaurant that we were discussing on our first date (nice but not too expensive) and a rose (like you suggested pjfan31). Thanks for the suggestion.

    Dissidentman, I am definately not asking when would be a good time to meet the kid yet (we discussed this on our date that she wont let anyone into her son's life unless it is someone that she is in a serious relationship with).

    Thanks.
  • John Briggs 2008
    John Briggs 2008 Posts: 1,024
    Don't second guess yourself. Never allow insecurities and friends to make your decisions for you. At the end of the day, it's all about what you want to do. Valentine's day is just another day in the grand scheme of it all. You have come this far so why hinder it now? Don't take my advice for it though. Do what you feel is right in your gut and stick with it. That's the best advice a friend can give you.
  • The Juggler
    The Juggler Posts: 49,598
    i will be marrying a girl next month....our first date was 2/13. i kinda thought it would be weird to have a first date on valentines. guess its really not a big deal though.

    anywho---each year we celebrate our "vanniversary" and just combine the two days into one :mrgreen:
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  • GC31608
    GC31608 GA Posts: 246
    Hmmm, the thing is V-Day is on a Monday. Who really does a 2nd date on a Monday? I say you are right to wonder if it will scare her off. My advice is to wait until the following weekend (maybe Friday after V-Day) when she doesn't have her son.
  • molten_toothpaste
    molten_toothpaste Posts: 422
    Ask her out on V-day (as a girl, trust me you should), but also explain that you didn't want to "scare her off" (she'd appreciate that). With that said, get her some flowers (not talking a dozen roses), but something sweet like pink/ red carnations or possibly a small box of chocolates with a cute card. This way you're not going from "zero to sixty" on a second date. Since she has a son, you may want to get him a little something as well...this would mean a lot to her!

    Just a few thoughts from a girl...

    Hope this was helpful!
    :mrgreen:
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    Tres MTS. - Gramercy - Mar 26, 2011
  • Jearlpam0925
    Jearlpam0925 Deep South Philly Posts: 17,571
    The Juggler wrote:
    i will be marrying a girl next month....our first date was 2/13. i kinda thought it would be weird to have a first date on valentines. guess its really not a big deal though.

    anywho---each year we celebrate our "vanniversary" and just combine the two days into one :mrgreen:

    You're getting off easy.
  • KR10
    KR10 Posts: 17
    The Juggler wrote:
    i will be marrying a girl next month....our first date was 2/13. i kinda thought it would be weird to have a first date on valentines. guess its really not a big deal though.

    anywho---each year we celebrate our "vanniversary" and just combine the two days into one :mrgreen:


    Thats a great story and makes me feel better about standing by my initial feeling which was to go ahead and ask her out.

    Thanks.
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    The Juggler wrote:
    anywho---each year we celebrate our "vanniversary" and just combine the two days into one :mrgreen:

    That just sounds like you consumated the relationship in an Econoline 350...
  • pjfan31
    pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    Who knows, ask her on vday and it might become vday for another reason... ;)

    But she has a good plan with the kid. SHe sounds like she has her head screwed on right. I know a kid and his mum is hot.... like 9.5 out of 10 hot. The kid is 10 and in the few years I have known him she has had several boyfriends and he has gotten attached to a few.
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  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    v-day is psycho for going out to eat...if you want to take her out on Monday, make reservations now...can't just walk in and be all 'hi table for 2'.

    SO and I went to 6 different restuarants last year on Vday before deciding to go to the drive thru...just say, I'd like to see you on Monday, but the restuarants are crazy, wanna go out on Tuesday? (that is if you want to skip Monday)
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    4and20 wrote:
    v-day is psycho for going out to eat...if you want to take her out on Monday, make reservations now...can't just walk in and be all 'hi table for 2'.

    SO and I went to 6 different restuarants last year on Vday before deciding to go to the drive thru...just say, I'd like to see you on Monday, but the restuarants are crazy, wanna go out on Tuesday? (that is if you want to skip Monday)

    C U Next Tuesday... Great advice 4and20!
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    pjfan31 wrote:
    Who knows, ask her on vday and it might become vday for another reason... ;) ...


    you have no plans monday do you?? :P :lol:
    hear my name
    take a good look
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  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Dissidentman wrote:
    4and20 wrote:
    v-day is psycho for going out to eat...if you want to take her out on Monday, make reservations now...can't just walk in and be all 'hi table for 2'.

    SO and I went to 6 different restuarants last year on Vday before deciding to go to the drive thru...just say, I'd like to see you on Monday, but the restuarants are crazy, wanna go out on Tuesday? (that is if you want to skip Monday)

    C U Next Tuesday... Great advice 4and20!
    :wave: meet you at your bar? you better have those bacon waffles damnit!
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • KR10
    KR10 Posts: 17
    molten_toothpaste wrote:
    Ask her out on V-day (as a girl, trust me you should), but also explain that you didn't want to "scare her off" (she'd appreciate that). With that said, get her some flowers (not talking a dozen roses), but something sweet like pink/ red carnations or possibly a small box of chocolates with a cute card. This way you're not going from "zero to sixty" on a second date. Since she has a son, you may want to get him a little something as well...this would mean a lot to her!

    Just a few thoughts from a girl...

    Hope this was helpful!
    :mrgreen:


    This was helpful. Thanks for the advice. I asked a girl I work with and she said that I definaltey need to ask her out. You posed it a good way (tell her I am not trying to scare her off but see if she wants to go out then). I dont know about the gift for the kid because I havent met him yet and if things work out between her and I it seems like it will be a while before I meet him. Thanks again.
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    4and20 wrote:
    Dissidentman wrote:
    4and20 wrote:
    v-day is psycho for going out to eat...if you want to take her out on Monday, make reservations now...can't just walk in and be all 'hi table for 2'.

    SO and I went to 6 different restuarants last year on Vday before deciding to go to the drive thru...just say, I'd like to see you on Monday, but the restuarants are crazy, wanna go out on Tuesday? (that is if you want to skip Monday)

    C U Next Tuesday... Great advice 4and20!
    :wave: meet you at your bar? you better have those bacon waffles damnit!

    Don't joke about Eyed's deity like that....
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    sex on valentine's day
    sure dates are good
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    chadwick wrote:
    sex on valentine's day
    sure dates are good

    that might be a little soon chad
    some girls have time-frame rules...'no nookie until after X dates'
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    4and20 wrote:
    chadwick wrote:
    sex on valentine's day
    sure dates are good

    that might be a little soon chad
    some girls have time-frame rules...'no nookie until after X dates'
    that's dumb.
    never let rules slow ya down.
    dates/# of them... bullshit rule

    two adults are interested in one another, they like each other, go.
    bullshit-dates are for people who still watch mr. rogers.
    poetry needs written dammit.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce

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