What do I do?...
KM43590
Posts: 298
So we've got a lot of snow here in South Jersey, and I'm taking a break from being outside (listening to Vs.) shoveling snow, and a (So-called) "neighbor" of mine, who's got an enormous tractor with a plow on it takes his time this morning to plow every other driveway on the entire street, (there's almost 10 houses) and mine was the only house he didn't plow. It would have taken him less then 5mins to help me dig out my driveway but instead he just drove past me, looking in the other direction as to not make eye contact with me. He's helped us in the past and he has no reason not to help now.
Is the concept of being a "good neighbor" nonexistent anymore? We're the oldest family on the block and over the last few years it seems that we're not welcome any longer. So, I'm at a loss as to what to do, should I ignore it or ask him what the hell the deal is? My mother is beside her self crying because this isn't the first time neighbors have treated us poorly for no reason at all.
Once the neighbor directly to our side hoped our fence and buried a huge rabbit in our yard. Of course my dog found it the next day, and I had to rebury it in the woods. These people have no reason to treat us this way.
We keep to ourselves but we're friendly. We say hello, we stop to chat, we even exchanged Christmas cards this year. We've helped them out when needed in the past. My mother spent years babysitting their children. But lately we're being treated like we're not even here. My mother wants to move and forget about all of them. But we've been here over 30 years, and I'm at a loss as to what to do.
I thought I'd ask the community here if you have any suggestions, or if anyone else has had a similar situation with neighbors that act like their better than you and who do petty things like what this jackass did today!
Thanks for your suggestions, and thanks for letting me vent. I had to take a break from shoveling, what would have taken him 5mins is taking me about 2.5hrs. (oooooh, "Leash" just came on my iPod) I better go enjoy this. Thanks friends!
Is the concept of being a "good neighbor" nonexistent anymore? We're the oldest family on the block and over the last few years it seems that we're not welcome any longer. So, I'm at a loss as to what to do, should I ignore it or ask him what the hell the deal is? My mother is beside her self crying because this isn't the first time neighbors have treated us poorly for no reason at all.
Once the neighbor directly to our side hoped our fence and buried a huge rabbit in our yard. Of course my dog found it the next day, and I had to rebury it in the woods. These people have no reason to treat us this way.
We keep to ourselves but we're friendly. We say hello, we stop to chat, we even exchanged Christmas cards this year. We've helped them out when needed in the past. My mother spent years babysitting their children. But lately we're being treated like we're not even here. My mother wants to move and forget about all of them. But we've been here over 30 years, and I'm at a loss as to what to do.
I thought I'd ask the community here if you have any suggestions, or if anyone else has had a similar situation with neighbors that act like their better than you and who do petty things like what this jackass did today!
Thanks for your suggestions, and thanks for letting me vent. I had to take a break from shoveling, what would have taken him 5mins is taking me about 2.5hrs. (oooooh, "Leash" just came on my iPod) I better go enjoy this. Thanks friends!
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
Just stop him when you see him next and ask him if everything is ok and ask him if he doesnt mind helping you with your driveway....you will know what hes thinking by his reaction....this is what I basically did to mine recently when he did something similar to me....turned out fine
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
You can't be in my South Jersey town because if you were near me, your driveway would have been done before 7 AM this morning. I can't sleep and have all older neighbors so i got up at 5 AM and did 6 driveways and by 8 AM, I collapsed.
I took a 4 hour break and then took the boys outside and we did ours, finally.
Now we are off to go sledding.
Enjoy the snow! Embrace it, its a gift!
I think you just need to clear the air and ask him if you did something to offend him. Couldn't get any worse, right?
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Lunch sack.
A lighter.
Have fun.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
Sounds like we suffer from the same small brain syndrome.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
if it doesn't work out, charge your neighbour with trespassing and animal cruelty.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
especially with the bunny burial
if you have the balls then go ask them whats up?
and let us know
To be honest I used to drink heavily, but have been sober for 11 months and 2 days. So there's a very slim chance it has something to do with one of my many infamous blackouts from back in the day. but very slim, only because he lives 3 houses away, and I couldn't have done anything to him. Another neighbor could have been complaining or gossiping about my behavior, but I was never really a nuisance to anyone when I drank.
Plus all my neighbors are kind of big and burly (manly men!) ha, and I'm just a small (overweight) weakling, and I'm not comfortable confronting people, and I'm not looking for revenge anyway, just understanding. I've been told I'm paranoid about things, but I think in this case, I think they really are out to get me.
Well, my Mother is pretty adamant about moving now because of this, and we've been talking about it for about a year now anyway, and I think this is the straw that broke the camels back. I have an hour commute to work each day anyway, so moving closer would be an improvement.
Well, thank you for your suggestions friends, it's calmed me down quite a bit. I think I'll take a shower, get some hot tea and enjoy a movie and some down time with the rest of my day off!
Cheers!
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
If is says flat-out that he won't, then you know something is wrong.
If he says "sure", then you say "Great! This is a great side-business you have. How much are the others paying you?"... which might open a conversation on what the deal is, since they may not be paying him.
If he says "I'll do it for free!" while smiling, then your perceptions may be wrong, and that he just needed to be asked.
Maybe he doesn't want to do it for the others either, and doesn't want to add to his list, but doesn't have anything against you.
But, I'd ask today while you know he's home, and while it's topical to ask since you saw him doing it today. No reason to have this unanswered, having this burn away at you, wondering.
Good luck!
*NYC 9/28/96 *NYC 9/29/96 *NJ 9/8/98 (front row "may i play drums with you")
*MSG 9/10/98 (backstage) *MSG 9/11/98 (backstage)
*Jones Beach 8/23/00 *Jones Beach 8/24/00 *Jones Beach 8/25/00
*Mansfield 8/29/00 *Mansfield 8/30/00 *Nassau 4/30/03 *Nissan VA 7/1/03
*Borgata 10/1/05 *Camden 5/27/06 *Camden 5/28/06 *DC 5/30/06
*VA Beach 6/17/08 *DC 6/22/08 *MSG 6/24/08 (backstage) *MSG 6/25/08
*EV DC 8/17/08 *EV Baltimore 6/15/09 *Philly 10/31/09
*Bristow VA 5/13/10 *MSG 5/20/10 *MSG 5/21/10
You are expecting that fella to do something nice for you.... do something nice for him first.
'Catch more flies with honey.'
Perhaps something did happen you don't remember when you were drinking
that lead people to not like you. When you get a chance, after you are in some good graces, drop the word you've quit.
Smile whenever you see someone in the neighborhood and be a good neighbor.
This doesn't mean you can't move it would just be nice to move on your terms not theirs.
Take good care of your Mama, tell her everything will be ok, then try to make it so.
Good luck to you I know you can repair this
http://lh4.ggpht.com/_lP5T0isBuK4/SpFtH ... ichard.JPG
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
i've never had to explain death to a child
but really is that the way to do it?
with a friggin wheelbarrow and a couple of leaves?
AND A CAMERA???
It looks like they are making a mockery of "death" to me, a rather poor attempt at a funeral, atleast put the poor little guy in a box or something. Did they cart him to each neighbour so they could say bye to?
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
Wow.
Just another thing toconsider, as when I was younger I was very anxious in social situations and never really spoke much. As a result of this, several people I met along the way mistakenly thought I was cocky simply because I didnt talk much. Maybe THEY have misconstrued your family as snobby because you are detached. Maybe the rest of the neighborhood hangs out with each other more than you think, and they have some bond. I dont know, its just a possibility.. Use that in conjunction with what Pandora said. Maybe you just have to extend yourself more.. if you're expecting others to come to you, they might be expecting the same thing.
No offense, but I cant believe your thinking of moving because of this! thats your home, stand up for it and try to improve your relationship with tthe community.
Good luck.
That sometimes turns neighbors on each other.
i have a corner lot and the guy behind me will some times blow my side sidewalk and other times doesn't. it's so random. i can't figure it out. i'd actually prefer he never did it. i can handle it.
Exactly.
When I moved to where I live now, my elderly downstairs neighbours immediately decided I wasn't welcomed. At first I just didn't care, but eventually I tried to figure out what there was that I could possibly have done to upset them if anything. And as soon as I had the chance, I took the opportunity to show them that I was not actually a reckless brat and did something to show them that I indeed was reasonable and could also be considerate. That worked beyond expectations ! Mr neighbour never said anything about it, but actually startled me by hugging me and kissing cheeks to wish me a happy new year and keeps waving at me whenever I come back home, when he never even said hello until then. :?
I still don't know what happened, but I guess even the smallest gesture can sometimes be enough.