Why are we friends with these people?

dcfaithful

I know this might be hypocritical of me, but honest to God I'm over it. It's really just one person in particular that just constantly posts shit like:

"Boy, do I love drinking alone..."

"My true friend would come and see me..."

"Bringing in the New Year with the best company...myself."

To give a little bit of background on this character, he's an asshole. He's arrogant, pompous, and self-centered. Somehow I've managed to find qualities in him that keeps me being friends with him for a couple years now, but lately it's just wearing me thin. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is sick of his melodramatic, "look at me, I'm depressed", "I have no friends..." posts. It's fucking annoying. I would understand if he felt this way after making efforts to hang out with his friends, but he doesn't he simply sits inside his house all day, drinking and smoking way too much pot, playing video games and posting on Facebook about how no one comes to visit him.

Everyone in our circle pretty much goes to the word prick when trying to describe him. I wonder why everyone continues to feed his bullshit.

Just recently the girlfriend and I threw a Christmas get together for all our friends, it was a great time. However said person decided it would be funny to make a joke about my girlfriend and him having sex and her enjoying it right in front of me and her. Needless to say I wasn't entertained and I voiced me feeling this way. Told him he crossed a huge line and disrespected me, and my girlfriend in our house and that I was pretty upset with him. He tried to tell me the alcohol was making my emotions get the best of me, I told him he took it too far and to leave. After the newness wore off, we discussed it like civil beings, but I reaffirmed my feelings that he was out of line and being a prick.

Before that, at yet another get together at my life-long friends house he actually had the nerve to ask my friends brother if he thought he could get away with sleeping with his girlfriend.

It blows me away that someone will consistently wonder why no one wants to hang out with him, and constantly call his friends bad friends cause they won't come see him (he's unwilling to leave his house because he's too cheap to drive to anyone elses place usually. He also never calls anyone, but expects phone calls to him) and not realize that the reason no one cares to be around him is because he's a pretentious and increasingly unlikable and pessimistic asshole who, based upon his sexual advances, doesn't really value any friendships anyways.

I know I basically did the same thing and bitched and this thread has no point to it really, but damn... I'm sick of associating with such a negative, and disrespectful person, and most of all I'm sick of hearing the constant whining.

Rant over.

Cree Nations

get rid of him, I know someone like this, friendship is a two way street, the only time its not is if you are in a sibling or father/mother relatioship, then you have no damn choice and have to help your family out no matter what, sounds like your "friend" has been pittied for too long. I would might have broke his face if he crossed the line by coming on to my partner...thats bullshit

PureandEasy

I don't know what to tell you, not knowing him.

But it seems as though he's always looking for attention. I'd start with that. Why is he craving attention so much?

I don't know if you're willing to be bothered to try and work something out with the guy, but if you are, you need to discuss some of this stuff with him in a serious way, sans alcohol and pot.

How old is he anyway? Are we talking about a young 20 something or a fully grown man?

dcfaithful

PureandEasy wrote:

I don't know what to tell you, not knowing him.

But it seems as though he's always looking for attention. I'd start with that. Why is he craving attention so much?

I don't know if you're willing to be bothered to try and work something out with the guy, but if you are, you need to discuss some of this stuff with him in a serious way, sans alcohol and pot.

How old is he anyway? Are we talking about a young 20 something or a fully grown man?

He's my age. 22-23.

nuffingman

He sounds like a prick. Doh! Used that word again.

Is he aware how you all feel, perhaps he needs to be kickstarted out of his self pity? People I've known that have gradually been ignored sometimes haven't had a clue how irritating they've become.

dcfaithful

Cree Nations wrote:

get rid of him, I know someone like this, friendship is a two way street, the only time its not is if you are in a sibling or father/mother relatioship, then you have no damn choice and have to help your family out no matter what, sounds like your "friend" has been pittied for too long. I would might have broke his face if he crossed the line by coming on to my partner...thats bullshit

Yeah, I really had a hard time containing myself. I just told him to leave, and that he definitely wore out his welcome.

dcfaithful

nuffingman wrote:

He sounds like a prick. Doh! Used that word again.

Is he aware how you all feel, perhaps he needs to be kickstarted out of his self pity? People I've known that have gradually been ignored sometimes haven't had a clue how irritating they've become.

I've considered doing this, but it's not worth the effort.

He'll come back with an aggressive response and just basically try to "out argue" whoever brings it up. That's the kind of person he is. Vulgar, aggressive, and will do whatever it takes to have the upper hand.

dcfaithful

PureandEasy wrote:

I don't know if you're willing to be bothered to try and work something out with the guy, but if you are, you need to discuss some of this stuff with him in a serious way, sans alcohol and pot.

Again, not worth it. The signs are obvious: Me communicating with him significantly less, no one really making an effort to associate with him, friends basically cutting him off because of his advances.

H'es just an asshole that I'm ready to write off.

Unfortunately, and surprisingly, I have some fond memories with the guy and I know that tos ome degree it'd suck not seeing him at shindigs...but honestly at this point, I think a lack of his presence might be a morale booster amongst my friends and I.

nuffingman

dcfaithful wrote:

nuffingman wrote:

He sounds like a prick. Doh! Used that word again.

Is he aware how you all feel, perhaps he needs to be kickstarted out of his self pity? People I've known that have gradually been ignored sometimes haven't had a clue how irritating they've become.

I've considered doing this, but it's not worth the effort.

He'll come back with an aggressive response and just basically try to "out argue" whoever brings it up. That's the kind of person he is. Vulgar, aggressive, and will do whatever it takes to have the upper hand.

In that case it's probably best to wash your hands and walk away. You said he smoked too much pot but are you sure he isn't hitting on something else?

dcfaithful

nuffingman wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

nuffingman wrote:

He sounds like a prick. Doh! Used that word again.

Is he aware how you all feel, perhaps he needs to be kickstarted out of his self pity? People I've known that have gradually been ignored sometimes haven't had a clue how irritating they've become.

I've considered doing this, but it's not worth the effort.

He'll come back with an aggressive response and just basically try to "out argue" whoever brings it up. That's the kind of person he is. Vulgar, aggressive, and will do whatever it takes to have the upper hand.

In that case it's probably best to wash your hands and walk away. You said he smoked too much pot but are you sure he isn't hitting on something else?

I know he wouldn't be hitting on anything else, but he's quite fond of Rx recreation. However, I'm not going to try and tell him the harm in that. He's a big boy and he knows it, and to add to his pathetic state, he prides himself on his level of intake of any and all substances.

I'm really beginning to see that he's just a loser.

dcfaithful

nuffingman wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

nuffingman wrote:

He sounds like a prick. Doh! Used that word again.

Is he aware how you all feel, perhaps he needs to be kickstarted out of his self pity? People I've known that have gradually been ignored sometimes haven't had a clue how irritating they've become.

I've considered doing this, but it's not worth the effort.

He'll come back with an aggressive response and just basically try to "out argue" whoever brings it up. That's the kind of person he is. Vulgar, aggressive, and will do whatever it takes to have the upper hand.

In that case it's probably best to wash your hands and walk away. You said he smoked too much pot but are you sure he isn't hitting on something else?

I can't really judge the pot thing. I smoke. But I know that instead of making an effort to keep his friendhisp alive, he spends his days consuming.

I can honestly feel for him if he's unhappy and depressed...but the way I see it is that he's the biggest contributor, and he's really burned some bridges lately.

tinkerbell

Whats the saying...

You can't pick your family but you can pick your friends.

I only have a couple of friends still from my early 20's (I'm not that old only 29) mostly because of all the bullshit that went along with them. When you look into the future is this person someone you really want to associate with??

nuffingman

Then it sounds like it would be better to regard him as an X friend.

dcfaithful

tinkerbell wrote:

When you look into the future is this person someone you really want to associate with??

I could take it or leave it really. I do enjoy him at times, but I think 85% of it is just exhausting. So no, not really.

nuffingman wrote:

Then it sounds like it would be better to regard him as an X friend.

I too think it is that time.

pjhawks

just because you were friends as teens doesn't mean you have to be friends in your 20s, 30s, etc. right now you two are in completely different places. stop making the effort with him. if at some point he matures to your level maybe you go back to being friends, but for now if he is so insufferable to have around no need to invite him. you're an adult now and shouldn't have to deal with people you don't want to be around, it isn't grade school or high school anymore, you get to chose who you spend your time with. just because you might not stay friends with him doesn't change the times you had together before, but on the other hand just because you had good times before doesn't mean you need to still in be in touch with him. and you should have punched him in the face when he made those comments about your girlfriend but that's just my opinion.

dcfaithful

pjhawks wrote:

just because you were friends as teens doesn't mean you have to be friends in your 20s, 30s, etc. right now you two are in completely different places. stop making the effort with him. if at some point he matures to your level maybe you go back to being friends, but for now if he is so insufferable to have around no need to invite him. you're an adult now and shouldn't have to deal with people you don't want to be around, it isn't grade school or high school anymore, you get to chose who you spend your time with. just because you might not stay friends with him doesn't change the times you had together before, but on the other hand just because you had good times before doesn't mean you need to still in be in touch with him. and you should have punched him in the face when he made those comments about your girlfriend but that's just my opinion.

Should've, but didn't. I won't make that mistake again if he makes his again.

JonnyPistachio

next time, just as he is saying, "Duuude, can you picture me and your girlfriend doogy sty..."

KARATE CHOP TO THE NECK!

problem solved.

The Fixer

dcfaithful wrote:

To give a little bit of background on this character, he's an asshole.

this was my favorite line of your rant. I think you're answering your own question by posting what you posted. No need to put up with unnecessary bullshit. Life is too short.

Phase him out...delete him on FB, ignore his calls/texts for a while. If he gives a shit about your friendship then he will confront you about things in a mature way. If he doesn't then you know he doesn't give a fuck and you made the right decision.

Yellow Ledbelly

just for my two cents....it is obviously to a point where trying to maintain a friendship with this dude isn't worth the hassle. Fuck it...cut the chord

I had to do this with one of my oldest friends a few months back....the guy is demented and would occasionally come to my house....so when when everyone else was gone and he would get a little drunk he started on and on and on about how I've never given a shit about him and repeatedly threatened to "skullfuck" me the last night when I told him once and for all I was fed up with his pathetic bullshit and insanity.
I told him to get the fuck out and that was that....he did leave when I kicked him out but sat in his car for about 30 minutes and came back in....I didn't speak, went to bed and haven't not spoken directly to him since aside from an occasional text message.

And my life is much better for it at this point.

RKCNDY

making rude comments about your g/f is rude, tasteless and disrespectful...not only to your g/f but to you as well. BS 'it's the alcohol talking'. Immaturity is all I got to say. But for your girlfriend's sake, I wouldn't hang out with him too much. He's probably jealous you have a hot woman by your side. (this is me sticking up for your girlfriend because she prob doesn't want to tell you, 'me or him' or a version thereof)
SO has a 'friend' like this and he did something so disrespectful and mean I don't think he's part of their 'group' anymore (this person has also made rude comments about me to my face...I knew he was trying to get a reaction, so I stayed calm and ignored him).

Cut him outta your life and RUN!

dcfaithful

The Fixer wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

To give a little bit of background on this character, he's an asshole.

this was my favorite line of your rant. I think you're answering your own question by posting what you posted. No need to put up with unnecessary bullshit. Life is too short.

Phase him out...delete him on FB, ignore his calls/texts for a while. If he gives a shit about your friendship then he will confront you about things in a mature way. If he doesn't then you know he doesn't give a fuck and you made the right decision.

Ya know, the unfortunate thing is that if I do this, I'll end up seeing him anyways at any get togethers we have. A few of my friends are way too soft-hearted to just cut it off. Even the friend of mine that was the victim of his "hey, think I could screw his girl behind his back." is still associating with him.

I've thought why would he have said this to his friend's brother...simply for attention right? Or is he just that moronic? I don't know. I don't really care either.

eyedclaar

I'm not friends with those people. My tolerance level for BS is pretty much zero. Probably why I have about 3 friends.

dcfaithful

4and20 wrote:

making rude comments about your g/f is rude, tasteless and disrespectful...not only to your g/f but to you as well. BS 'it's the alcohol talking'. Immaturity is all I got to say. But for your girlfriend's sake, I wouldn't hang out with him too much. He's probably jealous you have a hot woman by your side. (this is me sticking up for your girlfriend because she prob doesn't want to tell you, 'me or him' or a version thereof)
SO has a 'friend' like this and he did something so disrespectful and mean I don't think he's part of their 'group' anymore (this person has also made rude comments about me to my face...I knew he was trying to get a reaction, so I stayed calm and ignored him).

Cut him outta your life and RUN!

I was mainly upset because he disrespected her like that. I wouldn't have taken it lightly if it was just the two of us, but righ tin front of her really pissed me off. It definitely ruined the fun I was having that night.

I mainly think what my asshole did was look for a reaction too. It made my girlfriend really embarassed and she had to leave the room. I wanted to flip my shit, but I didn't want to give him what he wanted so yeah I just old him to leave and that he really risked a friendship with that comment. I felt that that was the best thing to do to avoid any unnecessary, and childish drama.

But yeah, I'm done with this guy.

dcfaithful

eyedclaar wrote:

I'm not friends with those people. My tolerance level for BS is pretty much zero. Probably why I have about 3 friends.

Good for you. I've known this guy since Jr. High, really disliked him up until about 2 years ago when I learned how to tolerate him mainly because I knew he wasn't going to leave cause no one else would accept him, and my friends wouldn't stop inviting him.

The Fixer

dcfaithful wrote:

The Fixer wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

To give a little bit of background on this character, he's an asshole.

this was my favorite line of your rant. I think you're answering your own question by posting what you posted. No need to put up with unnecessary bullshit. Life is too short.

Phase him out...delete him on FB, ignore his calls/texts for a while. If he gives a shit about your friendship then he will confront you about things in a mature way. If he doesn't then you know he doesn't give a fuck and you made the right decision.

Ya know, the unfortunate thing is that if I do this, I'll end up seeing him anyways at any get togethers we have. A few of my friends are way too soft-hearted to just cut it off. Even the friend of mine that was the victim of his "hey, think I could screw his girl behind his back." is still associating with him.

I've thought why would he have said this to his friend's brother...simply for attention right? Or is he just that moronic? I don't know. I don't really care either.

well, if nothing else phasing him out will send a message to him that you're not gonna put up with any of his bull shit. If he wants to make an effort to be friends with you then he will.

good luck with whatever you choose to do

norm

:( i'l try to be a better friend





seriously, i had/have a friend like this...i've known him since the 4th grade...was always the loud, obnoxious, trying to be funny guy...and sometimes he was funny and fun to hang out with...but after high school it became harder and harder to hang out with him because we were growing up and he wasn't...it no longer was funny or fun...eventually he got married and had a litter of kids and we 'speak' now and then on facebook...i've actually been thinking about getting together with him to see if he's changed

just start backing away from this guy, dc...he sounds very toxic and no one needs that in their life

norm

eyedclaar wrote:

I'm not friends with those people. My tolerance level for BS is pretty much zero. Probably why I have about 3 friends.

i can count on 1 finger how many friends i have

dcfaithful

norm wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

I'm not friends with those people. My tolerance level for BS is pretty much zero. Probably why I have about 3 friends.

i can count on 1 finger how many friends i have

It was tough getting there, but I gained the #1 spot on norm's speed-dial.

81

dcfaithful wrote:

norm wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

I'm not friends with those people. My tolerance level for BS is pretty much zero. Probably why I have about 3 friends.

i can count on 1 finger how many friends i have

It was tough getting there, but I gained the #1 spot on norm's speed-dial.

i'm under the fire button.

norm

dcfaithful wrote:

norm wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

I'm not friends with those people. My tolerance level for BS is pretty much zero. Probably why I have about 3 friends.

i can count on 1 finger how many friends i have

It was tough getting there, but I gained the #1 spot on norm's speed-dial.

http://www.tbs.com/video/index/0,,48185||,00.html

dcfaithful

81 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

norm wrote:

i can count on 1 finger how many friends i have

It was tough getting there, but I gained the #1 spot on norm's speed-dial.

i'm under the fire button.

No need to share with us how "hot" norm finds you, Smoking Baby.