Creeps at work?

haffajappa

The shop i work at i am usually alone at after 4:30p or so... There's this guy that has made a habit of coming in every night to talk to me. I'm 22 he looks like he's maybe, oh i don't know, 35 or 40. I don't think he is completely off his rocker but there seems to be the feeling that he's kind of, one brick short of the load.

Anyways, not only does he continue to talk to me while i'm HELPING customers but he always talks about things that are completely inappropiate. I'm not a prude, but he creeps me out so I don't particularly enjoy him talking to me about handcuffing women to his bed (as he went on about tonight). And even worse once he saw me walking to work with my boyfriend and he doesn't stop going on about him, asking me about him and saying shit like, "oh why are you so tired? oh i know, you've been up cuddling all nignt" or, "oh so your boyfriend doesn't stay the night with you or what?" its always something on the cusp of asking about our sex life or something.

I try to just put up with it and not say much and do my best to ignore him or just at least try and give him the impression that i really don't care...
But at what point do i tell him to fuck off? I'm always thinking it...

justam

He's just a guy who comes into the shop you work at?

I think he's already behaving inappropriately if he's talking to you about subjects that make you uncomfortable AND he's hindering your ability to help other customers by hanging around when he's not actually doing business.

Talk to your employers and explain the situation to them. Tell them you need to put a stop to this and ask if they can help you with the situation. Depending upon their reaction, (and how protective they feel towards you) you may even get some help with "talking to him" about leaving you alone.

Jearlpam0925

I thought this said crepes at work. And that just sounds delicious.

haffajappa

Jearlpam0925 wrote:

I thought this said crepes at work. And that just sounds delicious.

Now THAT,
i wouldn't have a problem with at all.

mookeywrench

haffajappa wrote:

The shop i work at i am usually alone at after 4:30p or so... There's this guy that has made a habit of coming in every night to talk to me. I'm 22 he looks like he's maybe, oh i don't know, 35 or 40. I don't think he is completely off his rocker but there seems to be the feeling that he's kind of, one brick short of the load.

Anyways, not only does he continue to talk to me while i'm HELPING customers but he always talks about things that are completely inappropiate. I'm not a prude, but he creeps me out so I don't particularly enjoy him talking to me about handcuffing women to his bed (as he went on about tonight). And even worse once he saw me walking to work with my boyfriend and he doesn't stop going on about him, asking me about him and saying shit like, "oh why are you so tired? oh i know, you've been up cuddling all nignt" or, "oh so your boyfriend doesn't stay the night with you or what?" its always something on the cusp of asking about our sex life or something.

I try to just put up with it and not say much and do my best to ignore him or just at least try and give him the impression that i really don't care...
But at what point do i tell him to fuck off? I'm always thinking it...

The common phrase for this is 'sexual harassment'

haffajappa

justam wrote:

He's just a guy who comes into the shop you work at?

I think he's already behaving inappropriately if he's talking to you about subjects that make you uncomfortable AND he's hindering your ability to help other customers by hanging around when he's not actually doing business.

Talk to your employers and explain the situation to them. Tell them you need to put a stop to this and ask if they can help you with the situation. Depending upon their reaction, (and how protective they feel towards you) you may even get some help with "talking to him" about leaving you alone.

yeah i think the feeling is mutual among the store owners and me... we all find him creepy. my boss can't stand him. we're all too nice to say anything... or have been. i think it's starting to get too far.

justam

It is going too far.

Someone HAS to say something. Don't let politeness stop you from standing up for yourself. Politeness rules have to go out the window when you need to defend yourself.

Latin Square

There's also the possibility that this guy is dangerous...not trying to scare you or anything but it sounds like this definitely needs to be addressed even though that might be difficult to do.

haffajappa

Latin Square wrote:

There's also the possibility that this guy is dangerous...not trying to scare you or anything but it sounds like this definitely needs to be addressed even though that might be difficult to do.

Yeah i'm not freaked out or anything, its getting annoying more than anything.
Something def. needs to be done I just gotta figure out how I'm going to do it..

marcos

haffajappa wrote:

The shop i work at i am usually alone at after 4:30p or so... There's this guy that has made a habit of coming in every night to talk to me. I'm 22 he looks like he's maybe, oh i don't know, 35 or 40. I don't think he is completely off his rocker but there seems to be the feeling that he's kind of, one brick short of the load.

Anyways, not only does he continue to talk to me while i'm HELPING customers but he always talks about things that are completely inappropiate. I'm not a prude, but he creeps me out so I don't particularly enjoy him talking to me about handcuffing women to his bed (as he went on about tonight). And even worse once he saw me walking to work with my boyfriend and he doesn't stop going on about him, asking me about him and saying shit like, "oh why are you so tired? oh i know, you've been up cuddling all nignt" or, "oh so your boyfriend doesn't stay the night with you or what?" its always something on the cusp of asking about our sex life or something.

I try to just put up with it and not say much and do my best to ignore him or just at least try and give him the impression that i really don't care...
But at what point do i tell him to fuck off? I'm always thinking it...

You should look for his name in the sex offenders data base. He could be grooming you, probably a pedaphile, and now that it's getting darker earlier, more likely to strike when you close, be very careful going home, and don't depend on mace as most of these creeps have already built up a tolerance. I use to lock up sex offenders and this fits the profile. There is no such thing as enough paranoia these days!

Sidnum

haffajappa wrote:

The shop i work at i am usually alone at after 4:30p or so... There's this guy that has made a habit of coming in every night to talk to me. I'm 22 he looks like he's maybe, oh i don't know, 35 or 40. I don't think he is completely off his rocker but there seems to be the feeling that he's kind of, one brick short of the load.

Anyways, not only does he continue to talk to me while i'm HELPING customers but he always talks about things that are completely inappropiate. I'm not a prude, but he creeps me out so I don't particularly enjoy him talking to me about handcuffing women to his bed (as he went on about tonight). And even worse once he saw me walking to work with my boyfriend and he doesn't stop going on about him, asking me about him and saying shit like, "oh why are you so tired? oh i know, you've been up cuddling all nignt" or, "oh so your boyfriend doesn't stay the night with you or what?" its always something on the cusp of asking about our sex life or something.

I try to just put up with it and not say much and do my best to ignore him or just at least try and give him the impression that i really don't care...
But at what point do i tell him to fuck off? I'm always thinking it...

There is no reason NOT to take this seriously. That sounds totally creepy. You should get a manager to talk to him maybe. But don't be afraid to get the police involved. And that's just judging by those very inappropriate comments.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

he's probably harmless, but you need to keep safe, so he HAS to be dealt with, and it's your boss' job to protect his staff. if YOU do something about it, he might become beligerent and start following you home or aggressively harassing you or something.

pedophiles, as I understand it, go after kids, not younger adults.

JaneNY

If nothing else, he's loitering. He's not interested in buying stuff, so he has no business in there, except inappropriate business. He needs to be told to leave. Get a guy to stay in there with you, get your manager, get your boyfriend. This is creepy and the guy is being inappropriate and taking advantage of the fact that you work there and can't leave the place. Call the police if necessary. Trust your gut if you're getting a bad vibe - our gut feelings aren't usually wrong.

The Champ

Tell him to fuck off if you feel his actions are inappropriate and/or you feel uncomfortable....or if you just can't stand the motherfucker...I don't get the reason for the reluctance..

touchme.imdick

Yikes. Do NOT ignore this. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up just from reading this... You can't be too careful, as there is no way to really know what another person is capable of doing. If he is not respecting your feelings or boundaries, there is no reason to respect his. At the very least, report him to the police as a suspicious person or even as a loiterer. You never know - he may be doing this to other people in the community, too, and someone needs to fight back. Be safe out there.

chadwick

get the champ to have a talk with him

The Champ

chadwick wrote:

get the champ to have a talk with him

Well, the original poster may very well have a problem with me as well, but I'd appreciate the common courtesy of 'fuck off' if my off-beat advances fell on deaf ears....don't encourage the fucker by failing to set boundaries....be decisive..

catefrances

haffajappa wrote:

...But at what point do i tell him to fuck off? I'm always thinking it...

youre at that point now. perhaps past it. speak to your boss about them possibly staying back to observe this creep and then stepping in and having a quiet word to this creep. that way it doesnt look like you ratted him out. this needs to stop NOW.

unlost dogs

It sounds like you might feel awkward about saying something because the interactions didn't start off entirely inappropriate. But it's so far over the line now.

If your manager isn't available to help you, maybe you could go with direct eye contact and, "this topic is extremely uncomfortable for me. I am going to give my attention to (the customer, restocking, a dust bunny, whatever) so please excuse me."

I did something like that with a crazy woman who approached me at a train station and wouldn't leave me alone. I said, "I'm uncomfortable with this conversation. I'm going over there. Please don't follow me." I was quite clear in my tone, and I couldn't believe that it actually worked.

BinauralJam

unlost dogs wrote:

It sounds like you might feel awkward about saying something because the interactions didn't start off entirely inappropriate. But it's so far over the line now.

If your manager isn't available to help you, maybe you could go with direct eye contact and, "this topic is extremely uncomfortable for me. I am going to give my attention to (the customer, restocking, a dust bunny, whatever) so please excuse me."

I did something like that with a crazy woman who approached me at a train station and wouldn't leave me alone. I said, "I'm uncomfortable with this conversation. I'm going over there. Please don't follow me." I was quite clear in my tone, and I couldn't believe that it actually worked.

Kick Ass!!! Some times i do this at work when i'm bored, just to F with my Co-Workers.

Wait whats the name of this thread?

Franny

Please do something now. If what he says/does makes you feel uncomfortable then it is innapproriate for him to continue. Even better record some of what he says so you have something to give to your employer so they can understand why it is it makes you uncomfortable.