Help Write My Bio for Book #2 Back Cover

eyedclaar

What the hell do I say about myself in 5 or 6 sentences?

Daniel enjoys outdoor adventures, long walks on the beach, holding hands by a campfire, and would most likely kill you and bury your corpse deep in the dark woods for a mug of hot tang.

polaris_x

Daniel would otherwise be called a natural outdoorsmen with an affinity for large animals except it was that love of large animals that put him in minimum security prison and the first ever restraining order for a mama grizzly bear in Yellowstone named Tessa.

BinauralJam

Too Soon?

eyedclaar

polaris_x wrote:

Daniel would otherwise be called a natural outdoorsmen with an affinity for large animals except it was that love of large animals that put him in minimum security prison and the first ever restraining order for a mama grizzly bear in Yellowstone named Tessa.

That's just awesome! I might have to use it...

eyedclaar

BinauralJam wrote:

Too Soon?

Yes. You only get to use that joke once every 6 months...

BinauralJam

chadwick

i hated that part of book writing
when it happened to me i was emailed
"hey man, where is your (what is it actually called) one thingy about yourself for the backcover?"

i wrote it out in 10 minutes on the spot
i wish i could change it
same as the index
put it together in 119 seconds
wears me the fuck out...

so many learning experiences and stepping stones in this life
the greatest thing i have ever learned..."who gives a fuck"

i surely do not...

that above bit is for is for your book...

BinauralJam

norm

If you were to encounter Daniel in the back country you might think you have come upon a cross between Henry Rollins and the unabomber. And you would be correct.

BinauralJam

norm wrote:

If you were to encounter Daniel in the back country you might think you have come upon a cross between Henry Rollins and the unabomber. And you would be correct.

Nice!

BinauralJam

eyedclaar

BinauralJam wrote:

That's the bear that took out the restraining order against me!

eyedclaar

BinauralJam wrote:

norm wrote:

If you were to encounter Daniel in the back country you might think you have come upon a cross between Henry Rollins and the unabomber. And you would be correct.

Nice!

Agreed! Norm, did you pick out the unabomber poem in the first book?

eyedclaar

BinauralJam wrote:

I said write the bio. I have the picture!

rollings

bio #2

chadwick

dear reader,

thank you

yours truly,
bear foot

BinauralJam

i'm trying to inspire everybody else, i can't write.

chadwick

dear reader,

c.j. krueger has amazing poetry
you can send me the $23.99 for his book
i'll get you a copy ASAP

thank you,
captain idaho's pen

eyedclaar

chadwick wrote:

dear reader,

c.j. krueger has amazing poetry
you can send me the $23.99 for his book
i'll get you a copy ASAP

thank you,
captain idaho's pen

Hell, it was worth a shot, Chadwick.

FenwayFaithful

How did they allow all you scalawags back into this place?! I thought the AET was an 81, BJ, chadwick and eyed-free zone going forward...damn.

eyedclaar

Half Full wrote:

How about this,
But call it

Removing Two More

Without warning
Or explanation
This sickness seeps
From my nightmares
Staining converging clouds
And kicking up hurricanes
In decomposing eyes

A disease
That will one day find
These hands
Wrapped around the neck
Of another
Or a hunting knife
Buried to the hilt
In gurgling throats
And at times
Like this
With blood pounding
Through my temples
It begins to feel like
The only cure

Maybe you can add...

That or reading this book

(To cite, this piece was written by Eyedclaar.)

Good lord, that guy sounds calm and rationale.

eyedclaar

FenwayFaithful wrote:

How did they allow all you scalawags back into this place?! I thought the AET was an 81, BJ, chadwick and eyed-free zone going forward...damn.

Like I said, nobody has the authority to ban me!

BinauralJam

FenwayFaithful wrote:

How did they allow all you scalawags back into this place?! I thought the AET was an 81, BJ, chadwick and eyed-free zone going forward...damn.

Give it time. I do beleive i can no longer feign ignorance of any the rules. Go to the well enough times, dries up on ya.

unlost dogs

It's just a first stab, but see what you think:

Daniel was born on (insert birth date) in (insert place of birth). After serving as hall monitor in sixth grade, he embarked upon a distinguished thread-surfing career and is recognized as one of the finest 10 Club posters in the world. He is a denizen of the AET at http://community.pearljam.com, curmudgeon on The Porch and worthy sparring partner on The Moving Train despite his temporary banishment in 2010.

He is, however, well-beloved throughout the Pearl Jam community as the owner of an acid mine and author of such classic works as Reading Entrails and Justifiable Homicide. He did not die on Sept. 2, 1973 at the age of 81.


This is what they used for J.R.R. Tolkein on the inside back cover of my paperback version of 'The Lord of the Rings." I made slight modifications for you. (He served in the First World War, nothing in his bio about being a hall monitor. And he was a professor with an academic career at a bunch of colleges where they faculty wear black robes. And, as far as I know you're not.)

Also, I made it all in present tense, since, you know, you're not dead yet.

polaris_x

eyedclaar wrote:

polaris_x wrote:

Daniel would otherwise be called a natural outdoorsmen with an affinity for large animals except it was that love of large animals that put him in minimum security prison and the first ever restraining order for a mama grizzly bear in Yellowstone named Tessa.

That's just awesome! I might have to use it...

it would be an honour ...

Black Diamond

Daniel originally hails from the Upper East Side of Manhattan where he attended a private High School for fancy boys. He played the lead in HMS Pinafore and was a member of the school's secret society. In 2003, Daniel had a nervous breakdown which caused him to believe he was Davey Crockett and currently his whereabouts are unkown.

eyedclaar

unlost dogs wrote:

He did not die on Sept. 2, 1973 at the age of 81.
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I appreciate the time and effort, but I'm still ratting you out! Mods, she used a forbidden number in her post!

eyedclaar

Black Diamond wrote:

Daniel originally hails from the Upper East Side of Manhattan where he attended a private High School for fancy boys. He played the lead in HMS Pinafore and was a member of the school's secret society. In 2003, Daniel had a nervous breakdown which caused him to believe he was Davey Crockett and currently his whereabouts are unkown.

I think I'll just put a few on the back cover and tell the readers to choose one...

BinauralJam

Black Diamond wrote:

Daniel originally hails from the Upper East Side of Manhattan where he attended a private High School for fancy boys. He played the lead in HMS Pinafore and was a member of the school's secret society. In 2003, Daniel had a nervous breakdown which caused him to believe he was Davey Crockett and currently his whereabouts are unkown.

Why do i believe this...

RKCNDY

Daniel enjoys the outdoors and eating paste. His free time involves caring for his pack of wolverines that live in his basement, and running around in the buff while camping to 'become one with nature'. Inspiration for his work come from antagonizing others on internet forums. Daniel lives in the sticks of Idaho with his wilderness princess, wolverines, a bear, a mountain goat, 3 dogs and a bevy of other woodland creatures. He aspires to retire as a hermit in an undisclosed acid mine.

mysticweed

Black Diamond wrote:

Daniel originally hails from the Upper East Side of Manhattan where he attended a private High School for fancy boys. He played the lead in HMS Pinafore and was a member of the school's secret society. In 2003, Daniel had a nervous breakdown which caused him to believe he was Davey Crockett and currently his whereabouts are unkown.

add to that
what a devout christian he is