I think people are just more selfish and less committed to things in general than they used to be. I'm not a big advocate of marriage, but it is kind of sad to see good human traits such as these on the decline.
i can agree with this assessment.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
gimme
i just want to congratulate you on never having fucked yourself over
that is no small feat
where in my post did i say "i have never fucked myself over"?? i have done plenty to fuck myself over in the course of my life, but that was when i was a lot younger, more reckless, and did not care about anyone or anything. things have changed since those crazy years. i said:
"on a personal note, until recently i wanted to get married and have kids, but since that relationship did not work out now i don't. i think i am better off relying on myself than on someone else, and i am not going to marry based on pressure from family, friends, or society. if you rely on yourself you can't get hurt. i found out the hard way and have come to realize that the only person in this world that will not fuck you over in some way is yourself."
if you know what you want in life and stay true to yourself and your beliefs, how can you fuck yourself over?
dude
that was meant with kindness
i was a perpetual self fucker over for years
and have outgrown it as well
AND i agree with your views on marriage and monogomy
so
peace?
sorry i just now saw this. sorry man, i thought you were being sarcastic in that post. perpetual self fucker over...i like that...peace.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
if you rely on yourself you can't get hurt. i found out the hard way and have come to realize that the only person in this world that will not fuck you over in some way is yourself.
I hope and think you will change your mind on this. You can be independent, rely on yourself, love, be married or not and trust again. Most importantly love and trust again.
i fuck myself over more than i care to admit. but im slowly learning to turn that around.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
if you rely on yourself you can't get hurt. i found out the hard way and have come to realize that the only person in this world that will not fuck you over in some way is yourself.
I hope and think you will change your mind on this. You can be independent, rely on yourself, love, be married or not and trust again. Most importantly love and trust again.
i fuck myself over more than i care to admit. but im slowly learning to turn that around.
for some of us it is too late to turn that around. i'm glad you are able to do that.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
Marrying someone who you never lived with is something that I could never comprehend... You learn so much more about someone living with then that you probably wouldn't know if you didn't.
[
I don't know why it's so difficult to learn things about people without living with them. My wife and I did not live together before we were married, but we also dated for about 5 years and I made sure I knew what I was getting into before I proposed.
Oh wait - I think I do know why. It's because people just rush into these things and treat life as like some self-instant-satisfying game and don't take the time to make sure what they are doing is right.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Marrying someone who you never lived with is something that I could never comprehend... You learn so much more about someone living with then that you probably wouldn't know if you didn't.
[
I don't know why it's so difficult to learn things about people without living with them. My wife and I did not live together before we were married, but we also dated for about 5 years and I made sure I knew what I was getting into before I proposed.
Oh wait - I think I do know why. It's because people just rush into these things and treat life as like some self-instant-satisfying game and don't take the time to make sure what they are doing is right.
You dated for 5 years... I'm assuming that there we many times that one of you stayed at each other's place for several days, right?
and your second point makes no sense... wouldn't living together first be a big step in making sure what you are doing is right?
My whole life
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
i enjoy being married....i can see why people would become disenchanted with marriage. i think people spend far too much monies on getting married.
my wedding cost.....800.00.
my buddy spent......10K
i am still happily married......he is not.
my great aunt, God rest her soul, offered up the greatest wisdom. i told her i was thinking of getting married,but wanted to make sure everyting is perfect.
she told me.."you have to build your lives together.....you cannot wait till everything is perfect."
live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
Marrying someone who you never lived with is something that I could never comprehend... You learn so much more about someone living with then that you probably wouldn't know if you didn't.
[
I don't know why it's so difficult to learn things about people without living with them. My wife and I did not live together before we were married, but we also dated for about 5 years and I made sure I knew what I was getting into before I proposed.
Oh wait - I think I do know why. It's because people just rush into these things and treat life as like some self-instant-satisfying game and don't take the time to make sure what they are doing is right.
You dated for 5 years... I'm assuming that there we many times that one of you stayed at each other's place for several days, right?
and your second point makes no sense... wouldn't living together first be a big step in making sure what you are doing is right?
in the old days it was called courting and people in a lot of cases did not live together first,they dated and got to know each other first then married,I wonder what the divorce rate in the 40's and 50's were compared to today when people live together without any ties to each other then get married ? last I noticed any stats on that the divorce rate was about 50% on todays market which tells me people are to quick to throw in the towel or made a mistake in judgment thinking their new ties are more than they wanted.
i enjoy being married....i can see why people would become disenchanted with marriage. i think people spend far too much monies on getting married.
my wedding cost.....800.00.
my buddy spent......10K
i am still happily married......he is not.
my great aunt, God rest her soul, offered up the greatest wisdom. i told her i was thinking of getting married,but wanted to make sure everyting is perfect.
she told me.."you have to build your lives together.....you cannot wait till everything is perfect."
that is great advice. at the same time things can go very well or they can go horribly wrong while trying to build your lives together. i guess you live and you learn and hope for the best.
a good piece of advice i got once that ended up being a sammy hagar song is "you've got to give to live". and that is a pretty profound statement to me. very ishmael sounding...
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
I don't know why it's so difficult to learn things about people without living with them. My wife and I did not live together before we were married, but we also dated for about 5 years and I made sure I knew what I was getting into before I proposed.
Oh wait - I think I do know why. It's because people just rush into these things and treat life as like some self-instant-satisfying game and don't take the time to make sure what they are doing is right.
You dated for 5 years... I'm assuming that there we many times that one of you stayed at each other's place for several days, right?
and your second point makes no sense... wouldn't living together first be a big step in making sure what you are doing is right?
in the old days it was called courting and people in a lot of cases did not live together first,they dated and got to know each other first then married,I wonder what the divorce rate in the 40's and 50's were compared to today when people live together without any ties to each other then get married ? last I noticed any stats on that the divorce rate was about 50% on todays market which tells me people are to quick to throw in the towel or made a mistake in judgment thinking their new ties are more than they wanted.
Godfather.
It's tough to compare the two eras with stats... People were more hesitant to divorce in those days because of the stigma attached to it.
I guess what is worse? Being in a bad (or even abusive marriage), but staying with it... or being much happier/healthier and divorced?
I have to look into the current marriage/divorce stats, I read something last night that sorta debunked that 50% divorce rate number that always gets tossed around. What I read basically said that that stat is based on dividing the total number of marriages by total divorces in a calender year. But, the real number or marriages that end in divorce is closer to 25%... Like I said, I have to look into that more.
My whole life
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
i enjoy being married....i can see why people would become disenchanted with marriage. i think people spend far too much monies on getting married.
my wedding cost.....800.00.
my buddy spent......10K
i am still happily married......he is not.
my great aunt, God rest her soul, offered up the greatest wisdom. i told her i was thinking of getting married,but wanted to make sure everyting is perfect.
she told me.."you have to build your lives together.....you cannot wait till everything is perfect."
that is great advice. at the same time things can go very well or they can go horribly wrong while trying to build your lives together. i guess you live and you learn and hope for the best.
a good piece of advice i got once that ended up being a sammy hagar song is "you've got to give to live". and that is a pretty profound statement to me. very ishmael sounding...
good work.....i had forgot about that song.
live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
I think people are just more selfish and less committed to things in general than they used to be. I'm not a big advocate of marriage, but it is kind of sad to see good human traits such as these on the decline.
I agree with this. It's twitter nation, a generation of people that think other people do and should care what they are doing at all times and what they think about everything the instant they think it.
on a personal note, until recently i wanted to get married and have kids, but since that relationship did not work out now i don't. i think i am better off relying on myself than on someone else, and i am not going to marry based on pressure from family, friends, or society. if you rely on yourself you can't get hurt. i found out the hard way and have come to realize that the only person in this world that will not fuck you over in some way is yourself.
You know what gimme? Don't think about marriage or commitment. Just focus perhaps on the possibility of a good relationship. I never understood why we put so much pressure on ourselves for the 'legal' idea of a relationship. Focusing on the end result (marriage), to me, just isn't healthy. Keep your head up, rely on yourself, but keep the heart open.
Monogamy is not counter to human instinct. It's called self-control. It used to exist back in the days before political-correctness ruined everything.
just because you manage to stay faithful to the one partner doesnt make monogamy human instinct. we are all individuals and we all do act accordingly. making polygamy illegal does not make one monogamous. not being monogamous does not make one weak willed. i prefer to be known as cate, not someones wife.
my great grandfather had 19 kids by 5 different women. and that was in the 1800s. clearly he had zero self control and no political correctness to worry about.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Honestly, I have mixed feelings about it. I've been married a long, long time.
I love being married but I think it's not such a natural state. There are attractive people that come along. Marriage requires that we ignore that. I think it's good for humans to be partners as lovers and as friends, I think it's good for children to have happily married parents, but I think it takes work to keep it all flowing smoothly. It's not an effortless endeavor!
I think it's lucky when a person is so wonderful and that makes you WANT to work at it.
... I think it's good for children to have happily married parents, ...
i think its good for children to have happy available parents. nothing worse than parents who are together only for the kids or for apearances when underneath theyre miserable. imagine what that does to the kids. cause kids arent stupid. my childrens' father and i were never married and looking at my 2 youngest(cause the other 2 are grownup) it is extrememly doubtful they would be better off if we were married. the dynamic we have works... which doesnt mean itd work for everyone. its just the way it is for our family.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
on a personal note, until recently i wanted to get married and have kids, but since that relationship did not work out now i don't. i think i am better off relying on myself than on someone else, and i am not going to marry based on pressure from family, friends, or society. if you rely on yourself you can't get hurt. i found out the hard way and have come to realize that the only person in this world that will not fuck you over in some way is yourself.
You know what gimme? Don't think about marriage or commitment. Just focus perhaps on the possibility of a good relationship. I never understood why we put so much pressure on ourselves for the 'legal' idea of a relationship. Focusing on the end result (marriage), to me, just isn't healthy. Keep your head up, rely on yourself, but keep the heart open.
I completely agree with this statement. I think if people focused more on being in a good relationship and truly were happy in it, marriage would just be a natural step to take if they both believed in that institution. I think being truly happy and wanting to share a union with one person whom you believe is the most special and the only other individual that can truly make you happy is great. Let's not forget though the foundations of marriage which differ from person to person but I believe which we all share at least some of: trust, communication, honesty, respect, compromise and love.
I wish I was an alien at home behind the sun..... I wanna race..with the sundown..I want a last breath..I don't let out...
Comments
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
i fuck myself over more than i care to admit. but im slowly learning to turn that around.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
I don't know why it's so difficult to learn things about people without living with them. My wife and I did not live together before we were married, but we also dated for about 5 years and I made sure I knew what I was getting into before I proposed.
Oh wait - I think I do know why. It's because people just rush into these things and treat life as like some self-instant-satisfying game and don't take the time to make sure what they are doing is right.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
You dated for 5 years... I'm assuming that there we many times that one of you stayed at each other's place for several days, right?
and your second point makes no sense... wouldn't living together first be a big step in making sure what you are doing is right?
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
my wedding cost.....800.00.
my buddy spent......10K
i am still happily married......he is not.
my great aunt, God rest her soul, offered up the greatest wisdom. i told her i was thinking of getting married,but wanted to make sure everyting is perfect.
she told me.."you have to build your lives together.....you cannot wait till everything is perfect."
i can relate too this.
in the old days it was called courting and people in a lot of cases did not live together first,they dated and got to know each other first then married,I wonder what the divorce rate in the 40's and 50's were compared to today when people live together without any ties to each other then get married ? last I noticed any stats on that the divorce rate was about 50% on todays market which tells me people are to quick to throw in the towel or made a mistake in judgment thinking their new ties are more than they wanted.
Godfather.
a good piece of advice i got once that ended up being a sammy hagar song is "you've got to give to live". and that is a pretty profound statement to me. very ishmael sounding...
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
It's tough to compare the two eras with stats... People were more hesitant to divorce in those days because of the stigma attached to it.
I guess what is worse? Being in a bad (or even abusive marriage), but staying with it... or being much happier/healthier and divorced?
I have to look into the current marriage/divorce stats, I read something last night that sorta debunked that 50% divorce rate number that always gets tossed around. What I read basically said that that stat is based on dividing the total number of marriages by total divorces in a calender year. But, the real number or marriages that end in divorce is closer to 25%... Like I said, I have to look into that more.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I agree with this. It's twitter nation, a generation of people that think other people do and should care what they are doing at all times and what they think about everything the instant they think it.
You know what gimme? Don't think about marriage or commitment. Just focus perhaps on the possibility of a good relationship. I never understood why we put so much pressure on ourselves for the 'legal' idea of a relationship. Focusing on the end result (marriage), to me, just isn't healthy. Keep your head up, rely on yourself, but keep the heart open.
just because you manage to stay faithful to the one partner doesnt make monogamy human instinct. we are all individuals and we all do act accordingly. making polygamy illegal does not make one monogamous. not being monogamous does not make one weak willed. i prefer to be known as cate, not someones wife.
my great grandfather had 19 kids by 5 different women. and that was in the 1800s. clearly he had zero self control and no political correctness to worry about.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I love being married but I think it's not such a natural state. There are attractive people that come along. Marriage requires that we ignore that. I think it's good for humans to be partners as lovers and as friends, I think it's good for children to have happily married parents, but I think it takes work to keep it all flowing smoothly. It's not an effortless endeavor!
I think it's lucky when a person is so wonderful and that makes you WANT to work at it.
i think its good for children to have happy available parents. nothing worse than parents who are together only for the kids or for apearances when underneath theyre miserable. imagine what that does to the kids. cause kids arent stupid. my childrens' father and i were never married and looking at my 2 youngest(cause the other 2 are grownup) it is extrememly doubtful they would be better off if we were married. the dynamic we have works... which doesnt mean itd work for everyone. its just the way it is for our family.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
There's a difference and not just in language. (!)
I completely agree with this statement. I think if people focused more on being in a good relationship and truly were happy in it, marriage would just be a natural step to take if they both believed in that institution. I think being truly happy and wanting to share a union with one person whom you believe is the most special and the only other individual that can truly make you happy is great. Let's not forget though the foundations of marriage which differ from person to person but I believe which we all share at least some of: trust, communication, honesty, respect, compromise and love.
I wanna race..with the sundown..I want a last breath..I don't let out...
yep i hear you.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say