4 in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete
gimmesometruth27
St. Fuckin Louis Posts: 23,303
4 in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101118/ap_ ... g_marriage
WASHINGTON – Is marriage becoming obsolete?
As families gather for Thanksgiving this year, nearly one in three American children is living with a parent who is divorced, separated or never-married. More people are accepting the view that wedding bells aren't needed to have a family.
A study by the Pew Research Center highlights rapidly changing notions of the American family. And the Census Bureau, too, is planning to incorporate broader definitions of family when measuring poverty, a shift caused partly by recent jumps in unmarried couples living together.
About 29 percent of children under 18 now live with a parent or parents who are unwed or no longer married, a fivefold increase from 1960, according to the Pew report being released Thursday. Broken down further, about 15 percent have parents who are divorced or separated and 14 percent who were never married. Within those two groups, a sizable chunk — 6 percent — have parents who are live-in couples who opted to raise kids together without getting married.
Indeed, about 39 percent of Americans said marriage was becoming obsolete. And that sentiment follows U.S. census data released in September that showed marriages hit an all-time low of 52 percent for adults 18 and over.
In 1978, just 28 percent believed marriage was becoming obsolete.
When asked what constitutes a family, the vast majority of Americans agree that a married couple, with or without children, fits that description. But four of five surveyed pointed also to an unmarried, opposite-sex couple with children or a single parent. Three of 5 people said a same-sex couple with children was a family.
"Marriage is still very important in this country, but it doesn't dominate family life like it used to," said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University. "Now there are several ways to have a successful family life, and more people accept them."
The broadening views of family are expected to have an impact at Thanksgiving. About nine in 10 Americans say they will share a Thanksgiving meal next week with family, sitting at a table with 12 people on average. About one-fourth of respondents said there will be 20 or more family members.
"More Americans are living in these new families, so it seems safe to assume that there will be more of them around the Thanksgiving dinner table," said Paul Taylor, executive vice president of the Pew Research Center.
The changing views of family are being driven largely by young adults 18-29, who are more likely than older generations to have an unmarried or divorced parent or have friends who do. Young adults also tend to have more liberal attitudes when it comes to spousal roles and living together before marriage, the survey found.
But economic factors, too, are playing a role. The Census Bureau recently reported that opposite-sex unmarried couples living together jumped 13 percent this year to 7.5 million. It was a sharp one-year increase that analysts largely attributed to people unwilling to make long-term marriage commitments in the face of persistent unemployment.
Beginning next year, the Census Bureau will publish new, supplemental poverty figures that move away from the traditional concept of family as a husband and wife with two children. It will broaden the definition to include unmarried couples, such as same-sex partners, as well as foster children who are not related by blood or adoption.
Officials say such a move will reduce the number of families and children who are considered poor based on the new supplemental measure, which will be used as a guide for federal and state agencies to set anti-poverty policies. That's because two unmarried partners who live together with children and work are currently not counted by census as a single "family" with higher pooled incomes, but are officially defined as two separate units — one being a single parent and child, the other a single person — who aren't sharing household resources.
"People are rethinking what family means," Cherlin said. "Given the growth, I think we need to accept cohabitation relationships as a basis for some of the fringe benefits offered to families, such as health insurance."
Still, the study indicates that marriage isn't going to disappear anytime soon. Despite a growing view that marriage may not be necessary, 67 percent of Americans were upbeat about the future of marriage and family. That's higher than their optimism for the nation's educational system (50 percent), economy (46 percent) or its morals and ethics (41 percent).
And about half of all currently unmarried adults, 46 percent, say they want to get married. Among those unmarried who are living with a partner, the share rises to 64 percent.
Other findings:
_About 34 percent of Americans called the growing variety of family living arrangements good for society, while 32 percent said it didn't make a difference and 29 percent said it was troubling.
_About 44 percent of people say they have lived with a partner without being married; for 30-to-49-year-olds, that share rose to 57 percent. In most cases, those couples said they considered cohabitation as a step toward marriage.
_About 62 percent say that the best marriage is one where the husband and wife both work and both take care of the household and children. That's up from 48 percent who held that view in 1977.
The Pew study was based on interviews with 2,691 adults by cell phone or landline from Oct. 1-21. The survey has a total margin of error of plus or minus 2.6 percentage points, larger for subgroups. Pew also analyzed 2008 census data, and used surveys conducted by Time magazine to identify trends from earlier decades.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
count me in with the 4. i do not think that marriage is necessary anymore from a family standpoint. if two people are in love why do they need a marriage? maybe from a legal standpoint it is a good idea, and i can understand that. but with the marriage failure rate what it is, i think marriage is risky nowadays, and if you are married with children and you get a divorce it will be a heavy financial and emotional burden for everyone involved. people fall out of love every day.
on a personal note, until recently i wanted to get married and have kids, but since that relationship did not work out now i don't. i think i am better off relying on myself than on someone else, and i am not going to marry based on pressure from family, friends, or society. if you rely on yourself you can't get hurt. i found out the hard way and have come to realize that the only person in this world that will not fuck you over in some way is yourself.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101118/ap_ ... g_marriage
WASHINGTON – Is marriage becoming obsolete?
As families gather for Thanksgiving this year, nearly one in three American children is living with a parent who is divorced, separated or never-married. More people are accepting the view that wedding bells aren't needed to have a family.
A study by the Pew Research Center highlights rapidly changing notions of the American family. And the Census Bureau, too, is planning to incorporate broader definitions of family when measuring poverty, a shift caused partly by recent jumps in unmarried couples living together.
About 29 percent of children under 18 now live with a parent or parents who are unwed or no longer married, a fivefold increase from 1960, according to the Pew report being released Thursday. Broken down further, about 15 percent have parents who are divorced or separated and 14 percent who were never married. Within those two groups, a sizable chunk — 6 percent — have parents who are live-in couples who opted to raise kids together without getting married.
Indeed, about 39 percent of Americans said marriage was becoming obsolete. And that sentiment follows U.S. census data released in September that showed marriages hit an all-time low of 52 percent for adults 18 and over.
In 1978, just 28 percent believed marriage was becoming obsolete.
When asked what constitutes a family, the vast majority of Americans agree that a married couple, with or without children, fits that description. But four of five surveyed pointed also to an unmarried, opposite-sex couple with children or a single parent. Three of 5 people said a same-sex couple with children was a family.
"Marriage is still very important in this country, but it doesn't dominate family life like it used to," said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University. "Now there are several ways to have a successful family life, and more people accept them."
The broadening views of family are expected to have an impact at Thanksgiving. About nine in 10 Americans say they will share a Thanksgiving meal next week with family, sitting at a table with 12 people on average. About one-fourth of respondents said there will be 20 or more family members.
"More Americans are living in these new families, so it seems safe to assume that there will be more of them around the Thanksgiving dinner table," said Paul Taylor, executive vice president of the Pew Research Center.
The changing views of family are being driven largely by young adults 18-29, who are more likely than older generations to have an unmarried or divorced parent or have friends who do. Young adults also tend to have more liberal attitudes when it comes to spousal roles and living together before marriage, the survey found.
But economic factors, too, are playing a role. The Census Bureau recently reported that opposite-sex unmarried couples living together jumped 13 percent this year to 7.5 million. It was a sharp one-year increase that analysts largely attributed to people unwilling to make long-term marriage commitments in the face of persistent unemployment.
Beginning next year, the Census Bureau will publish new, supplemental poverty figures that move away from the traditional concept of family as a husband and wife with two children. It will broaden the definition to include unmarried couples, such as same-sex partners, as well as foster children who are not related by blood or adoption.
Officials say such a move will reduce the number of families and children who are considered poor based on the new supplemental measure, which will be used as a guide for federal and state agencies to set anti-poverty policies. That's because two unmarried partners who live together with children and work are currently not counted by census as a single "family" with higher pooled incomes, but are officially defined as two separate units — one being a single parent and child, the other a single person — who aren't sharing household resources.
"People are rethinking what family means," Cherlin said. "Given the growth, I think we need to accept cohabitation relationships as a basis for some of the fringe benefits offered to families, such as health insurance."
Still, the study indicates that marriage isn't going to disappear anytime soon. Despite a growing view that marriage may not be necessary, 67 percent of Americans were upbeat about the future of marriage and family. That's higher than their optimism for the nation's educational system (50 percent), economy (46 percent) or its morals and ethics (41 percent).
And about half of all currently unmarried adults, 46 percent, say they want to get married. Among those unmarried who are living with a partner, the share rises to 64 percent.
Other findings:
_About 34 percent of Americans called the growing variety of family living arrangements good for society, while 32 percent said it didn't make a difference and 29 percent said it was troubling.
_About 44 percent of people say they have lived with a partner without being married; for 30-to-49-year-olds, that share rose to 57 percent. In most cases, those couples said they considered cohabitation as a step toward marriage.
_About 62 percent say that the best marriage is one where the husband and wife both work and both take care of the household and children. That's up from 48 percent who held that view in 1977.
The Pew study was based on interviews with 2,691 adults by cell phone or landline from Oct. 1-21. The survey has a total margin of error of plus or minus 2.6 percentage points, larger for subgroups. Pew also analyzed 2008 census data, and used surveys conducted by Time magazine to identify trends from earlier decades.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
count me in with the 4. i do not think that marriage is necessary anymore from a family standpoint. if two people are in love why do they need a marriage? maybe from a legal standpoint it is a good idea, and i can understand that. but with the marriage failure rate what it is, i think marriage is risky nowadays, and if you are married with children and you get a divorce it will be a heavy financial and emotional burden for everyone involved. people fall out of love every day.
on a personal note, until recently i wanted to get married and have kids, but since that relationship did not work out now i don't. i think i am better off relying on myself than on someone else, and i am not going to marry based on pressure from family, friends, or society. if you rely on yourself you can't get hurt. i found out the hard way and have come to realize that the only person in this world that will not fuck you over in some way is yourself.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
I hope and think you will change your mind on this. You can be independent, rely on yourself, love, be married or not and trust again. Most importantly love and trust again.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
i think these days - the term marriage just has too much baggage associated with it ... it's more about assets and legal entities ... and less about partnership ...
on the whole marriage thing just dont fuck up an you'll be cool a mistake is diff than a fuck up yo,,, just compromise an you'll be ok gotta give a lil an both will be happy
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
i know people who are polyamorous ... i even dated one ... she was bi and said she believed in open relationships and such ... but then after a while - she said she didn't want open relationships anymore ... like, how can you just switch that on/off? ... another person i know who is polyamorous says that its not easy ... i wonder in my head whether or not that is just social constructs playing itself out ...
Marriage is important to people who want it to be...
While you are absolutely entitled to your opinion, but your reasoning doesn't make sense to me. If you have a long term relationship with all that goes with it (shared property, maybe kids, etc), it doesn't matter if you are married or not, it's still going to be a mess financially and emotionally if it ends. And unless you stay out of relationships all together, there is a chance you will get hurt or someone will fuck you over. Married or not married really has nothing to do with those if you are still in a relationship with someone.
And you are right... marrying based on pressure just doesn't work... if two mature people want to be married, and take it serious, it probably will work... but it's not for everyone...
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
i just want to congratulate you on never having fucked yourself over
that is no small feat
"what a long, strange trip it's been"
"on a personal note, until recently i wanted to get married and have kids, but since that relationship did not work out now i don't. i think i am better off relying on myself than on someone else, and i am not going to marry based on pressure from family, friends, or society. if you rely on yourself you can't get hurt. i found out the hard way and have come to realize that the only person in this world that will not fuck you over in some way is yourself."
if you know what you want in life and stay true to yourself and your beliefs, how can you fuck yourself over?
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
dude
that was meant with kindness
i was a perpetual self fucker over for years
and have outgrown it as well
AND i agree with your views on marriage and monogomy
so
peace?
"what a long, strange trip it's been"
Are you sure of that? how many times seems like we are the ones who sabotage ourselves? We maybe the least interested in mess with our own life but that's life
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
i was just saying that those break ups can be worse when married because there are lawyers involved and alimony and all of that. divorce is pretty damn expensive. in all of the cohabitation relationships that i personally know of, in those cases, one of the partners owns the house and the other one helps pay the payment or bills or whatever. if they break up there is no legally binding contract or anything making one accountable to the other financially. if they have their own cars and those are not shared then there is no mutual responsibility there either. if they are unmarried with kids then it gets trickier. i was not slamming marriage for that point, i was just using divorce as an example in my prior post. as far as getting fucked over goes, i am not committing to anything or anyone for a long time. i will not trust another woman and give 100% of myself for a long time. been burned one too many times i guess...
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
If i had a sister/cousin i would totally hook you up, you're a very smart, articulated man, plus you play the guitar, that's a good brother in law right there!
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
Monogamy is not counter to human instinct. It's called self-control. It used to exist back in the days before political-correctness ruined everything.
Relying on oneself requires a strong heart. Each time a heart breaks it mends stronger.
As much as this hurts it is a blessing and make us who we are and take us to where we are going.
If you look at being burned in the big picture of life, it is the crossing of 2 people who were not meant to be together but to only learn from each other.
I am glad you are saying a long time and not never, here there is hope.
Your strong heart may be needed for someone someday and I hope it will be there for a new love based in the faith and trust.
i am sorry everyone, the point of the thread was not for everyone to focus on me or my opinions, rather focus on what the study/article said about the changing attitudes towards marriage. i guess i should stop throwing my opinions in initial posts in threads :oops: :oops:
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
it may suck bad now but it'll get better and at some point you'll realize that the risk is definitely worth the reward ...
Please, keep putting opinions in there when you post articles... i think it's annoying when people just post stories or a link, at least your opinions give the debate a starting point
I think I've said this before about marriage... people who are in good marriages or have a positive image (realistic or unrealistic) of how their marriage will be, generally support the idea of marriage.... people who are in (or have been in) a bad marriage or have a negative view or perception of marriage typically don't support it... Not really a subject where you can convince either side to change their minds.
But to each their own... do what you believe in, or what makes you the most happy
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I'm pretty sure political correctness has nothing to do with infidelity... One existed for centuries before the other on...
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I'm pretty sure political correctness has nothing to do with infidelity... One existed for centuries before the other on...[/quote]
What I meant is that society tends to look at infidelity as a natural thing, not a big deal. Like many things championed by society, it is a destructive, horrible thing. Self-control and personal responsibility are key to maintaining a healthy marriage.
There's no reason to make excuses for infidelity. I find that to be absurd.
oops....edit to change "louis VIII" to "Henry VIII"....i make stupid mistakes sometimes :oops:
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
I am lucky my wife is beautiful...I'm uglier than a mud fence but with that said "see with your heart and not your eyes"
it's like the old biker saying "chrome looks good but chrome wont get you home" LOL!!
Godfather.
_About 34 percent of Americans called the growing variety of family living arrangements good for society, while 32 percent said it didn't make a difference and 29 percent said it was troubling. i view this as a good thing. i am wondering if those that felt it was troubling were the elderly segment of the population.
_About 44 percent of people say they have lived with a partner without being married; for 30-to-49-year-olds, that share rose to 57 percent. In most cases, those couples said they considered cohabitation as a step toward marriage. i think that this is a good thing too. if i were to get married i think it would be a good idea to cohabitate at least for some time beforehand. that way you know what to expect and what your life will be like for a time before children, if you choose to have kids. i would consider it a definite step towards marriage.
_About 62 percent say that the best marriage is one where the husband and wife both work and both take care of the household and children. That's up from 48 percent who held that view in 1977. and i agree with this too. this is not the '50s where the man works and the woman stays home and cooks and cleans. i think it should be shared, and i think that both partners would appreciate sharing these duties. i mean, raking leaves sucks, but if my g/f or fiance was helping me, we could make it fun, so it does not seem like work so much, ya know?
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
Godfather.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
These are interesting numbers. I mentioned my grandfather in another post and how he was very old-school and wanted my grandmother to wait on him hand and foot, and she did unfortunately. But that was normal back then. I think some people still live in this world because they saw their parents/grandparents act like this. I've seen it destroy marriages (even recently). However, Its my opinion that the later you get married, the less likely you will be to get divorced because people need time to grow, become responsible, and learn how to live. Its hard to do these things and adjust to married life.
haha, and yeah Godfather, your post cracked me up too.
JP I agree with you on the time to grow idea,I married at 30 and it was bumpy for a while but I some how made it through and she stood by me, I didn't make it ez for her but I'm glad she did.
Godfather.
Marrying someone who you never lived with is something that I could never comprehend... You learn so much more about someone living with then that you probably wouldn't know if you didn't.
I think that's true out of necessity these days...
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln