Parents hosting parties with underage drinking

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Comments

  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    BinauralJam wrote:
    When i was 13 my freinds mom had a party for him and bought a keg, but it was one keg with like 40 kids, everybody had like two beers and it was empty, cool party, live band, beer. Nobody got more than a buzz, but when your 13, you'll take it. No way my parents would ever be this cool.

    interesting measure of cool youve got there. cause i am a cool parent but an underage party where alcohol was present is not something id allow.
    hear my name
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    hold my hand
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    i just need to say
  • Drowned Out
    Drowned Out Posts: 6,056
    When I was 16, I hung with a fairly large social circle...probably 10 of us that were always together. We were consistently being caught drunk and high by our parents, and because we'd all grown up together, our parents knew each other and talked enough to make the 'Johnny's stoned, better go check on Billy" phone calls to each other. ugh.

    Soooo....the strictest parents of them all decided to call a group meeting one day. The horror! We all had to meet, with our parents, at their house one afternoon to discuss our lifestyle choices. We thought we were fucked for sure.

    You know what?

    It turned into an honest, open discussion between a whole room full of people trying to find common ground....and we did.

    When we left there, we all had the same rules....no more fucking lying about where we were so that the people with earlier curfews could stay out with the ones who did....no more curfews....because we didn't really need them anymore. We were ALL allowed to drink at home after that, as long as the parents were home and all of the parents of the kids there were aware of where they were, and NO ONE DROVE.....it was brilliant. We were given space and responsibility, and our parents got what they wanted most of all - to know that we were safe.

    Know what else? Every kid in that room is on my facebook and is at least still an acquaintance, and not one of us has a susbtance abuse problem (least not by my definition ;) )

    Sometimes people need to find compromise with their kids and stop being fucking dictators about everything.
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    They all say the same thing -- that their kids are going to drink no matter what, but that they'd rather the kids be doing it at home. .

    There's drinking and then there's drinking (ie reasonably/on occasion and getting so out of it you pass out and/or are sick)! Maybe because of the French in me, my daughter has been allowed some wine with dinner, etc. for quite a while now, just like I was when I was a kid. Whilst I'm OK with this, I will not allow her to drink regularly (like a lil' whisky before bedtime!) and will certainly NOT allow any party with alcohol. She is having her Sweet 16 next month and we are being very strict about alcohol. Strictly no alcohol allowed (with the option of bags being searched upon entry so none 'sneaks' in) and guests who are visibly 'under the influence' will not be allowed in the party. A couple of reasons - first of all, the party is not at home but at a venue and they risk losing their liscence. Second, my daughter wants her party to go well and for all to have fun. If some come drunk, it can mean a lot of hassles, some trouble and having to clear up puke on the middle of the dance floor (as it has happened at a party she recently attended).

    Kids need to 'learn' how to drink. Underage drinking at parties is not the way to do that.
  • Godfather.
    Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    Thorns2010 wrote:
    Godfather. wrote:
    When I was 17 my dad and I would go to bars from time to time and I never got carded,just thought I was the man for sure but now I think back on it and wish my father had not taken me out drinking with him.
    I would never do the same with my son in fact he knows if I catch him doing drugs or drinking I would light up like a roman candle and he would be screwed on the deal we have which is no drugs or alcohol and when he graduates HS he can have my truck or my harley......so far he wants the truck HUGE RELEFE ! I really like that bike :D

    Godfather.

    Wait, wait, wait, wait.....

    WTF is wrong with your son??? That better be a badass truck to pass up on a Harley. hehehehehehehehehehehehe

    :lol: He can't fit his BMX bike on the back of my bike.

    Godfather.
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    redrock wrote:

    There's drinking and then there's drinking (ie reasonably/on occasion and getting so out of it you pass out and/or are sick)! Maybe because of the French in me, my daughter has been allowed some wine with dinner, etc. for quite a while now, just like I was when I was a kid. Whilst I'm OK with this, I will not allow her to drink regularly (like a lil' whisky before bedtime!) and will certainly NOT allow any party with alcohol. She is having her Sweet 16 next month and we are being very strict about alcohol. Strictly no alcohol allowed (with the option of bags being searched upon entry so none 'sneaks' in) and guests who are visibly 'under the influence' will not be allowed in the party. A couple of reasons - first of all, the party is not at home but at a venue and they risk losing their liscence. Second, my daughter wants her party to go well and for all to have fun. If some come drunk, it can mean a lot of hassles, some trouble and having to clear up puke on the middle of the dance floor (as it has happened at a party she recently attended).

    Kids need to 'learn' how to drink. Underage drinking at parties is not the way to do that.


    :clap: +1 very good attitude and parenting. The European view of drinking much better than the American ways.
    Our zero tolerance teaches nothing, not the responsibility necessary when drinking that they need as adults.
    As soon as the kids get out on their own, like off to college, they go wild
    and lack the experience and knowledge to keep alcohol under control.
    Redrock is teaching her daughter respect for herself and alcohol, very much to be admired.
    And she is keeping her safe and smart and helping her friends to do the same. :thumbup:
  • pro
    pro Posts: 134
    The drinking age law in the USA is 21.... it's cool for allowing an 18 year old to vote and to die for it's country in wars? USA does have queer laws :roll:
  • Commy
    Commy Posts: 4,984
    growing up in rural idaho, our choices in highschool were to get a keg and get wasted in the woods somewhere or have a parent supervised party at a friends house.



    more people got hurt or were killed in those woods than at the adult supervised parties.........either you send kids out on their own or you watch them, either way they are going to experiment. might as well keep an eye on them.


    the most dangerous part of those parties in the woods was when the police showed up. running full speed at night through a forest with no lights? i'm surprised sprained ankles were the worst of my injuries.

    then you had those who drove drunk and ended up at the bottom of the mountain without taking the road.....

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