What gets you through hard times?
Sawyer
Posts: 2,411
just curious as my past year has sucked:
-g/f of four years and I broke up
-bulldog puppy attacked a kid and had to be put down
-trying to sell a house with the ex in this economy
-new g/f and i broke up yesterday
what gets you out of a woe is me funk....i feel like shit.....has anyone tried therapy? i feel embarassed but am at that point. I hear it works wonders for some.
-g/f of four years and I broke up
-bulldog puppy attacked a kid and had to be put down
-trying to sell a house with the ex in this economy
-new g/f and i broke up yesterday
what gets you out of a woe is me funk....i feel like shit.....has anyone tried therapy? i feel embarassed but am at that point. I hear it works wonders for some.
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The faith that although it looks bad, its for the best, that in the end I will see the reason for everything.
That and red wine helps
bury youre head in work... drink a lot on the weekends... and have as much meaningless sex as possible... sometimes you just gotta go numb for awhile... shit advice, i know :?
oh... and make sure you eat well, sleep well, and get exercise if nothing else... keep ya chemically balanced
GOOD LUCK! shoot me a PM if ya ever need a non-biased stranger to chat with
http://seanbriceart.com/
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
you get to talk a lot and listen a bit.
it's simple.
and you get to be crazy, goofy, or all fuckered up.
nothing at all embarrasing about it.
i bet you 30 million dollars the next guy is more fucked than you are.
see what im sayin?
i have recently been meeting with therapists on a regular basis.
i have only took depression meds twice for maybe a month or two so i dont have much to offer about all that.
some of the greatest things for me are pain relieving pharmaceuticals, swimming my brains loose, and writing poetry.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive
ORGAN DONATION SAVES LIVES
http://www.UNOS.org
Donate Organs and Save a Life
I also remember other bad experiences that I've been through and remind myself that I got through that, so I'll get through this. When I was younger I didn't have that perspective so this is one reason why I'm grateful for the passage of time.
Be good to yourself. Don't do things that bring you down. Stay away from negative people. Do little things that you enjoy. They don't have to be big occasions. Sometimes a meal at a favorite restaurant can be a treat. I like to visit art museums or the botanic gardens; those don't cost me anything but the gas to get there. Maybe you can think of something comparable that you'd enjoy.
I think therapy can be very helpful if you find the right counselor to work with. Depending on where you live there may even be some low cost options. If you work for a big company they may have an Employee Assistance Program. Lots of people think that those are only for substance abuse but they deal with any kind of personal crisis that employees are going through. I wish we could get to a point where people don't see counseling as some kind of crutch or sign of weakness but a normal way to deal with tough problems that we can't always handle on our own.
I went through a bad patch about 3 years ago. Within a few months a friend died (while I was away on vacation), I was in an accident and my car was totaled, my dad (who I was very close to) died unexpectedly, and my 12 year old dog died. I was also working at a job that was SO wrong for me and making me miserable. Therapy helped me get some perspective and got me through my grief at a time when I felt very alone. It wasn't the only thing that got me through it but it was great to have someone to talk to who, unlike some of the people around me, wasn't judgmental and really listened to me. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it. PM me if you have any questions about it.
I'm not going to say "good luck" because that sounds kind of shallow with all the things that have happened to you. But I keep a magnet on my fridge with a quote from Winston Churchill that I'll pass on to you: "When you're going through hell, keep going."
And music, too. When my father died, I listened to a lot of Otello, an opera. Really.
If you have any questions about therapy, PM me.
Just have confidence in your self keep your chin up as long as you believe in what your trying to acomplish in this short life you will be fine
your avatar gets me through hard times.
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.
http://seanbriceart.com/
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i have made it a point to not share a lot about myself on these forums, but i wanted to tell you that i understand what you are going through because i am going through that now. my identity got stolen in april and a bunch of stuff got charged on my card, my dog had cancer, which thankfully was removed, i wrecked my new car, my band went on a 3 month forced hiatus, and my girl broke up with me as well. so as a result of all of that i am battling clinical depression. i have been in counseling one hour a week for about 8 weeks now. it has been very beneficial, but it has been very hard because you have to be willing to hear things about you that you do not want to hear. and that was very hard for me at first. it is difficult to hear hard truths about your existance. i had been doing ok for the first few weeks, and then i began to get deeper and deeper into the depression and got worse. i made the mistake of telling my counselor that i looked at my life insurance policy to see if it would pay my beneficiaries if i were to kill myself. i did do that but i said it informally to her, kind of as a joke. i was not suicidal, more curious than anything. she took that as a red flag and made me go to my doctor and i have been on meds for 3 weeks now. i am not a big fan of the meds, i don't like the way they make me feel and they took forever to begin to work. due to the meds i hardly have any appetite anymore and as a result have lost 15 pounds in the last 3 weeks. i just eat smaller portions and less often, just a side effect. i will say that friday and yesterday were the best 2 days i have had in about 2 months. i just felt better all of a sudden. today not so much, actually pretty shitty today, it depends on the day.
i really recommend seeing a counselor though. i have a decent relationship with mine, it has become tenuous the last 2 weeks because she is telling me things i don't necessarily want to hear, but it is what i need to hear to get better. i was really embarrassed about all of this with counseling and meds because of the public perception of depression, but i am not anymore. i recommend it to anyone.
as far as what i do to get through hard times, i do everything that prior posters have listed. i work out, eat healthier but less, i read, write poetry and songs, record myself playing guitar and singing, walk my dog, all kinds of things really. i find that as unmasculine and weak as it sounds, crying helps. it helps get all of those shitty feelings out and i feel better afterward. the trick is to stay busy. i have been going out alot as well. it is not good because alcohol makes me more depressed, but it kills any pain i might be feeling.
but the best thing is to talk to people, lean on your friends. it is times like these where you find out who your real friends are. i have gotten great advice and felt great love and compassion from people that were not by best friends, just friends and people i know pretty well or knew well at one point. my best friends have been fairly useless, except for one who has empathy because he has been through the same things. i nearly got in a fist fight with a friend a few weeks ago because he keeps saying "harden the fuck up" and he grabbed me by the front of my shirt, pushed me into a wall and said "i just want my fucking friend back!!" he meant well, but if i could have magically "snapped out of it" i would, but it is not that easy. another thing i do is try to learn a new thing every day. i read alot of news, and i look on maps to see where the story came from. it is helping my geography skills i guess lol...
but in spite of how shitty things are right now, you need to remember one thing. life is beautiful. say it until you eventually believe it. it sounds stupid, but it is true. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. it is not how many times you get knocked down, it is about how many times you get up punching and kicking and fighting and yelling "fuck you, you will not beat me" at whatever problems are getting you down. try to appreciate something new every day. today i watched the sun come up from a deck at a bar that is open 24 hours, and i realized that there were no clouds in the sky and it is unseasonably warm. little things like that, a sunrise with a couple of good friends and a beer in my hand. last night my band played its first show in 3 months. there were about 400 people there and from the stage i could have focused on the the girls in the audience and interacted with them, but i didn't... i am not ready to look at girls right now. instead i focused on a man about my age who was in a motorized wheelchair off to the right side of the stage. he was very spastic so i am guessing he had cerebral palsy or something, but i would look over at him in the middle of a song, and he was rocking the hell out. it was awesome to see. i never would have noticed that before, but i did notice it last night and it nearly brought me to tears to know that he could be having so much fun because of what i was doing, playing guitar and jumping around like an idiot. i talked to him between sets and he thanked me for playing the music and i thanked him for being there. life IS beautiful.
be thankful that you get to wake up and live another day. yes things are bad right now, but at least you are alive. you might be only existing right now but you will LIVE again one day. i am learning that as i go. have hope. when you give up on hope you might as well die, because without hope, to me life would not be worth living knowing that right here and right now feeling this shitty, that this is the best it will get. have hope. know that there are people in your life who care deeply for you. use them for help in your down times. your real friends will be there for you, and the false ones won't.
wow, i really revealed waaay too much of myself in this post. i was going to edit and delete some of it, but i figured, "fuck it, if it helps one person who reads it, it will be worth it"...i really hope you get to feeling better soon, as being depressed is no way to go through life. life is beautiful. make yours beautiful.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
Sawyer.. During difficult times I personally throw myself one million percent into what I love..hobbies, work, anything..I think of much more difficult times that I made it through and realize that this too shall pass and I will be over it and happy again. Stay strong. DO NOT GIVE UP. It's like a wave, it will reach its peak and then it will break, and everything will be well again.
Take care and good luck to one and all.
I wanna race..with the sundown..I want a last breath..I don't let out...
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
I don't want to derail the thread...But I do have to say that sometimes it's easier for a person to hear other's stories/troubles. It makes theirs seem so small. I completely understand how you feel about what brought you joy seeming like just another thing, a chore that you have to do and move on....I am so glad that you're starting to feel better. I hope that Sawyer will soon as well....Its hard to be so far down at the bottom and not feel like there's any way to get out...Thank you for sharing your story, gimmesometruth27.
I wanna race..with the sundown..I want a last breath..I don't let out...
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
This is true. In a way, reading or hearing other people's stories makes you seem more "normal" than you thought you were, if that makes any sense. At least it does to me anyway.
BOS-9/28/04,9/29/04,6/28/08,6/30/08, 9/5/16, 9/7/16, 9/2/18
MTL-9/15/05, OTT-9/16/05
PHL-5/27/06,5/28/06,10/30/09,10/31/09
CHI-8/2/07,8/5/07,8/23/09,8/24/09
HTFD-6/27/08
ATX-10/4/09, 10/12/14
KC-5/3/2010,STL-5/4/2010
Bridge School-10/23/2010,10/24/2010
PJ20-9/3/2011,9/4/2011
OKC-11/16/13
SEA-12/6/13
TUL-10/8/14
Christopher Moore books
Hanging out with my twin, who's year has been even shittier than mine. We can help each other out, but we can also spew negativity.
Unfortunately, those things put a band aid on the moment, and the sadness/anxiety may be there underneath anyway. It's been a hard year. If misery loves company, misery has been throwing week long parties, eh?
I think of those worse of than me, and I don't feel bad for a while . . . until I do. I have to say reading up on the Chilean Miners rescue always puts hope in me. C'mon guys, you can do it!
I've thought recently that I am "VERY SAD!" Sometimes I feel like I have to claw air just to walk around my apartment. Knitting helps. The movement of my hands seems to cure some pains. I tried therapy last year, because 2009 sucked as well, and it took over 1.5 hours to get there. So, couldn't go back.
What will clear this up, and no doubt will do the trick, is if I get a new job. The job situation I'm in currently is just full of bad energy. I'm the closest I've been since looking, so wish me luck! I wish you luck in your endeavors as well.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird