human interaction

Lauri

I think I need more of it. The only real people I talk to most days is the person at the front desk at the gym and the people in my office. Sometimes I go to trivia with my coworker and her friends, and I play soccer once a week if it's the season...other than that pretty much anyone I talk to is online-- facebook, email, etc. Does anyone else feel like this? I've never really understood the concept of so called loneliness-- is this it? Or is this just the consequence of modern life?

comebackgirl

My whole job is about human interaction...so usually at the end of the day I'm just craving some alone time. I'm naturally an introvert even though I like working with people...so I definitely need time by myself to recharge. The pit doesn't count cause none of you are real :shifty:

mookeywrench

volunteer someplace:

1) you get human interaction
2)It could look good on your resume
3)intrinsic satisfaction
4)meeting new people could potentially set up a network of other future interactions

Lauri

comebackgirl wrote:

My whole job is about human interaction...so usually at the end of the day I'm just craving some alone time. I'm naturally an introvert even though I like working with people...so I definitely need time by myself to recharge. The pit doesn't count cause none of you are real :shifty:

I've always been one for the alone time too. I remember being in high school and the major thing I was concerned about for college was living with a roommate and not getting any alone time! My job is pretty solitary though- mostly just me and the spreadsheets and research...I have officemates but we don't exactly chit-chat al day.

RKCNDY

I think people are being conditioned to think that texting, email, FB, twitter etc is 'connecting'...esp the younger generation, people just don't seem to know how to interact with each other, much less acknowledge another human being in their immediate vicinity. I have held the door open for a younger mom who is struggling with a baby stroller and groceries while texting and all she can do is glare at me. I remember when you'd pass someone on the sidewalk and the other person would at least nod, or say 'hello'. Not so much of that anymore.
Pretty sad how it seems that you can't even have a 'friend' to talk to 'just to talk'.

Lauri

mookeywrench wrote:

volunteer someplace:

1) you get human interaction
2)It could look good on your resume
3)intrinsic satisfaction
4)meeting new people could potentially set up a network of other future interactions

I can never think of volunteer work I would like to do. the only thing I've done on a recurring basis is write content for a website-- at home! Besides at this point in time I'm looking for a second paying job, so I don't think I could handle two jobs AND volunteer work. I'm just not that good.

Lauri

4and20 wrote:

Pretty sad how it seems that you can't even have a 'friend' to talk to 'just to talk'.

I read something recently that said that some enormous percentage of of study subjects said they don't have someone to confide in wrt to big issues concerning them. I completely understand that-- I don't think I really do. I have a lot of "friends" but they don't live anywhere near here. I also think people are so wrapped up in their own lives that you just don't feel comfortable confiding in others anymore, like you're bothering people. And I think there's so much pressure to be "happy" and "together" that telling someone something is bothering you is seen as a weakness.

unlost dogs

comebackgirl wrote:

The pit doesn't count cause none of you are real :shifty:

Oh sweet Jesus: it's true then, I'm not real. I am a figment of comebackgirl's imagination.

81

I choose not to imangine.

unlost dogs wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

The pit doesn't count cause none of you are real :shifty:

Oh sweet Jesus: it's true then, I'm not real. I am a figment of comebackgirl's imagination.

81

Lauri wrote:

I think I need more of it. The only real people I talk to most days is the person at the front desk at the gym and the people in my office. Sometimes I go to trivia with my coworker and her friends, and I play soccer once a week if it's the season...other than that pretty much anyone I talk to is online-- facebook, email, etc. Does anyone else feel like this? I've never really understood the concept of so called loneliness-- is this it? Or is this just the consequence of modern life?

Sounds like my world except i live with the gf. I've alway been a loaner so it doesnt bug me much.

RKCNDY

Lauri wrote:

4and20 wrote:

Pretty sad how it seems that you can't even have a 'friend' to talk to 'just to talk'.

I read something recently that said that some enormous percentage of of study subjects said they don't have someone to confide in wrt to big issues concerning them. I completely understand that-- I don't think I really do. I have a lot of "friends" but they don't live anywhere near here. I also think people are so wrapped up in their own lives that you just don't feel comfortable confiding in others anymore, like you're bothering people. And I think there's so much pressure to be "happy" and "together" that telling someone something is bothering you is seen as a weakness.

totally! I have tried to reach out to become friends with people, but they are so wrapped up in their problems, they are not interested in the usual, shopping, lunch, coffee stuff. I have lost a lot of trust in people in the last few years, I'm not even that young. I thought people would have outgrown the gossip, rumor spreading, drama etc. I heard that a recent study showed that today's college graduates are 75% less empathetic than those 10 years ago....how sad that a trait like empathy could drop so fast.
I still try to be empathetic or kind towards people but sometimes I feel like it's a losing battle.

comebackgirl

unlost dogs wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

The pit doesn't count cause none of you are real :shifty:

Oh sweet Jesus: it's true then, I'm not real. I am a figment of comebackgirl's imagination.

:shh: :silent:

they're always watching

Lauri

4and20 wrote:

Lauri wrote:

4and20 wrote:

Pretty sad how it seems that you can't even have a 'friend' to talk to 'just to talk'.

I read something recently that said that some enormous percentage of of study subjects said they don't have someone to confide in wrt to big issues concerning them. I completely understand that-- I don't think I really do. I have a lot of "friends" but they don't live anywhere near here. I also think people are so wrapped up in their own lives that you just don't feel comfortable confiding in others anymore, like you're bothering people. And I think there's so much pressure to be "happy" and "together" that telling someone something is bothering you is seen as a weakness.

totally! I have tried to reach out to become friends with people, but they are so wrapped up in their problems, they are not interested in the usual, shopping, lunch, coffee stuff. I have lost a lot of trust in people in the last few years, I'm not even that young. I thought people would have outgrown the gossip, rumor spreading, drama etc. I heard that a recent study showed that today's college graduates are 75% less empathetic than those 10 years ago....how sad that a trait like empathy could drop so fast.
I still try to be empathetic or kind towards people but sometimes I feel like it's a losing battle.

yeah I am a very empathic person by nature. I am also always willing to make friends with people, but it seems like no else is! Even if you get to know someone through some recurring interaction, interacting with them in a different context is virtually impossible! I think people think that if they are open to making new friends it will seem like they don't already have friends or have their own life.

RKCNDY

or even that people are 'disposable'...they'll be your friend and use you, then they quit talking to you.... :twisted:

Who Princess

4and20 wrote:

I still try to be empathetic or kind towards people but sometimes I feel like it's a losing battle.

Even if it IS a losing battle (and I'm not convinced it is), I hope you keep trying. It's refreshing to hear of someone who doesn't want to be completely self-absorbed.

justam

I think it just takes adults longer to become close friends.

Children and teens seem to bond quickly, where as it seems like adults become close friends at a VERY slow pace. At least, that's been my experience.

mookeywrench

Lauri wrote:

mookeywrench wrote:

volunteer someplace:

1) you get human interaction
2)It could look good on your resume
3)intrinsic satisfaction
4)meeting new people could potentially set up a network of other future interactions

I can never think of volunteer work I would like to do. the only thing I've done on a recurring basis is write content for a website-- at home! Besides at this point in time I'm looking for a second paying job, so I don't think I could handle two jobs AND volunteer work. I'm just not that good.

well then, get a 2nd job that deals with people interaction, bartender or barista.
as far as volunteering goes, you like music...why not look for things that revolve around that.

Lauri

mookeywrench wrote:

Lauri wrote:

mookeywrench wrote:

volunteer someplace:

1) you get human interaction
2)It could look good on your resume
3)intrinsic satisfaction
4)meeting new people could potentially set up a network of other future interactions

I can never think of volunteer work I would like to do. the only thing I've done on a recurring basis is write content for a website-- at home! Besides at this point in time I'm looking for a second paying job, so I don't think I could handle two jobs AND volunteer work. I'm just not that good.

well then, get a 2nd job that deals with people interaction, bartender or barista.
as far as volunteering goes, you like music...why not look for things that revolve around that.

there's volunteer work with rock music? like what?

I would LOVE to bar tend, and was really hoping I could do it, but I've decided it's just impossible. There's no way I could close a bar on a week night and get up and work 9-10 hours the next day and work out and everything else. I talked to bar tender at my favorite pub recently and he told me it's really difficult when it's your only job! I'm still not sure what I'm going to do for extra work. It's really hard because my full time job isn't 9-5. It's whenever to whenever it takes to get it done.

mookeywrench

Smaller venues may have volunteering with running merch booths or other routine tasks.

you can find a public radio station and answer phones during pledge drives, set up information booths at music festivals and next to merch tables in music venues.

Lauri

justam wrote:

I think it just takes adults longer to become close friends.

Children and teens seem to bond quickly, where as it seems like adults become close friends at a VERY slow pace. At least, that's been my experience.

I agree, though I don't think I've ever been one to bond with one person super quickly. I remember when I started college, it seemed like everyone paired up and became super close immediately. That sort of thing only happened to me once, when I went to a massive orientation for the company I started at right after college. In particular, I really clicked with the guy I happened to be sitting next to the first day. Everyone kept asking us if we were friends from the same college. There were a few people I bonded with quickly! Unfortunately none of us were working in the same city :(. Even when I started grad school, it took me a long time to really feel like I was friends with people. I know some adults who seem to bond with people really fast, I think a lot depends on your personality.

It does kinda suck because it's rare to meet people you could be friends with, and then that's narrowed down even further to people who are open to making a connection.

Lauri

mookeywrench wrote:

Smaller venues may have volunteering with running merch booths or other routine tasks.

you can find a public radio station and answer phones during pledge drives, set up information booths at music festivals and next to merch tables in music venues.

cool we don't have too many small venues left around here, but it's always a possibility. damn now I'm just thinking about how I want to tend bar.