When girls don't put out - written by a guy.
Slap upside the head
Posts: 904
Girls -- Please have a sense of humour!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me..'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit...'
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me..'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit...'
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
great story
03/22/94, 01/14/95, 09/24/96, 08/25/98, 08/26/98, 08/31/98, 09/01/98, 09/22/98, 09/23/98, 08/09/00, 08/10/00, 08/12/00, 08/20/00, 08/21/00, 04/11/03, 04/13/03, 07/08/03, 07/09/03, 09/28/04, 09/29/04, 10/06/04, 10/08/04, 09/28/05, 05/20/06, 05/03/10, 05/04/10, 05/10/10
Told my wife when we first started dating that I'm not a complicated dude. keep my belly full and my balls empty and I'll be happy
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
i thought i was your hero. :(
Bravisimo!
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
Not after that MJ shit.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Mansfield 08 1
Boston 2010
Montreal 2011
EV Prov 11
Worcester 1 13
Worcester 2 13
Hartford 13
Boston 16 - 1
Boston 16 - 2
Boston 18 - 1
Boston 18 -2
MSG 24 - 1
Boston 24 -1
Boston 24 -2
ps if u dont know..im female (however i get along better w/ guys...girls are usually just a pain in my ass)
this is why i'm posting here...if i were a real chick (bitch) i'd be ripping you a new one right now
good play...really....i bet you felt great...in yo face bitch!!! right??
however, i can assure you your balls will be hurting soon
your are now entering a drought
dont fuck w/ women...we hold the power
unless of course your really an asshole and dont love your women, in which case you'll just go out and get you some
whatever works for you man.
keep us posted on the drought tho.
you'd be surprised how long us women can hold out :twisted:
my guess is you end up buying her that tennis bracelet in a few days, and in turn she gives you a good night
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
by the way that was a funny ass story.
Wise people know making your partner happy keeps you happy
and it's lots of fun keeping each other happy
Wise women know the way to a man's heart
Wise men know the way to a women's heart
It's actually a very nice fit
I gotta pass this one on to all those yenta's who send those men suck emails which my wife immediately forwards to me
Love it!!
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
first off.
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
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http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
Mansfield 08 1
Boston 2010
Montreal 2011
EV Prov 11
Worcester 1 13
Worcester 2 13
Hartford 13
Boston 16 - 1
Boston 16 - 2
Boston 18 - 1
Boston 18 -2
MSG 24 - 1
Boston 24 -1
Boston 24 -2
secondly,
but I do have to stick up for us women by saying that men who watch porn on a consistent basis are selfishly expecting too much out their girlfriends or wives. Its nice to have variety and explore things together like kama sutra and all that--but guys DO tend to get a bit selfish after awhile with how often they get some. just saying. if they were always single, they wouldn't be getting it nearly as much and it would be with a greater number of different girls THEREFORE more chance of catching an STD. I think guys in relationships take their partner for granted most of the time. It really is sad.
if she would break up with him over something like that than she is waaaay too high maintenance and not worth it! that's nothing compared to some of the shite I've gone through or witnessed other married couples going through.
It is very understandable, though, why his username is slap upside the head.