Frost Bitten

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  • mysticweedmysticweed Posts: 3,710
    tremors wrote:
    lettinggo wrote:
    tremors wrote:
    The black coats
    The cars
    The headlights
    The frost at midnight
    The black coat
    The car
    The headlight
    The frost at midnight

    This room
    That conversation
    The briefcase
    The briefcase
    The papers
    The shouting
    The pleading
    The screaming
    No goodbye
    Being driven away

    tremors
    this is so good
    and i almost didn't see it
    peace, brother


    Thanks, a lot.

    This one is probably more in the category of 'flashback', or 'therapy' than it is poetry. It's like there are some things that almost stain your soul - and whichever way you look at them afterwards, they are still rotten, from any angle.

    I find it's probably a good sign when I can write some of them down, since otherwise they are just floating around in me somewhere, and stuck. This one just came out staccato - like I had to creep up on myself. I found myself looking at the room, getting oh too vivid memories, and the first words came into my mind, so I sat at the computer, but didn't know quite what would come out. Some of the stuff I've written on here which I value most I think may not be the things that others value, because they aren't really great 'writing' - just fragments of memory - usually with a key to unlock them that I've left lying around elsewhere. They are useful to me though, because I know all the keys! Anyway, at this point I usually say 'what am I trying to say?' and the answer here is probably 'thanks' and 'thank fuck'

    This may sound silly, BUT, what you have written here is cool, too. I also have to creep up on myself from time to time 8-)
    fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

    "what a long, strange trip it's been"
  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    In the garden gone midnight
    smoking, a moving shadow
    gives me fright
    My own shadow
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  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    tremors... you've written so much here that honestly I find it hard to keep up... but whatever i do read of yours, whether it's a poem or the words behind a poem... I really appreciate it... you write with utmost sincerity and humbleness... and you're a good man for that... good writing man... as always


    Thanks acrossOceans - I feel you are a great spirit, sometimes without even reading your words - if that is possible. Is it possible to feel good energy apart from any medium? Maybe it's because you have a nice face.

    It's true, I am generally a decent, humble man.

    A humble man with a massive ego!! :D
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  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    lettinggo wrote:

    This may sound silly, BUT, what you have written here is cool, too. I also have to creep up on myself from time to time 8-)


    I think of you as one of the best poetic writers around here. Creeping up is a good technique - maybe the best way of getting the truth out of ourselves without pride and self-consciousness getting in the way.

    Jesus said not to 'let the left hand know what the right hand is doing'. In Zen archery and swordsmanship - the beginner can hit the bullseye dead centre after one lesson, since they are not tripping over their 'selves' - the swordsman is at one with the sword when they forget themselves and just be. In Zen there is also a story of the butcher whose knife stayed sharp for 30 years, because he slid effortlessly through the meat, flowing with the bones. As a vegetarian I find this an unpleasant image, but the truth in it is again, that when we can let go of ourselves, we can slice through tension effortlessly and cleanly. It's very difficult though, which is where 'technique' helps - it gives us structure to fret over rather than the outcome. Which is why I admire your poems; very strong technique, revealing hidden truths -and strong enough to move towards them
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  • mysticweedmysticweed Posts: 3,710
    tremors wrote:
    lettinggo wrote:

    This may sound silly, BUT, what you have written here is cool, too. I also have to creep up on myself from time to time 8-)


    I think of you as one of the best poetic writers around here. Creeping up is a good technique - maybe the best way of getting the truth out of ourselves without pride and self-consciousness getting in the way.

    Jesus said not to 'let the left hand know what the right hand is doing'. In Zen archery and swordsmanship - the beginner can hit the bullseye dead centre after one lesson, since they are not tripping over their 'selves' - the swordsman is at one with the sword when they forget themselves and just be. In Zen there is also a story of the butcher whose knife stayed sharp for 30 years, because he slid effortlessly through the meat, flowing with the bones. As a vegetarian I find this an unpleasant image, but the truth in it is again, that when we can let go of ourselves, we can slice through tension effortlessly and cleanly. It's very difficult though, which is where 'technique' helps - it gives us structure to fret over rather than the outcome. Which is why I admire your poems; very strong technique, revealing hidden truths -and strong enough to move towards them

    Jesus said that left hand/right hand thing? I did not know that.
    Your words are kind, but please, please do not put me in the same hemisphere as the truly good and prolific poets here (or anywhere). Good and prolific poets such as yourself, for one example.
    i get the zen archery and swordsmanship reference, and also cringed at the butcher imagery (i will eat the hell out of seafood tho)
    afw
    peace brother
    fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

    "what a long, strange trip it's been"
  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    edited September 2010
    lettinggo wrote:
    Jesus said that left hand/right hand thing? I did not know that.
    Your words are kind, but please, please do not put me in the same hemisphere as the truly good and prolific poets here (or anywhere). Good and prolific poets such as yourself, for one example.
    i get the zen archery and swordsmanship reference, and also cringed at the butcher imagery (i will eat the hell out of seafood tho)
    afw
    peace brother


    Jesus said so many great things - great things that are obscured by the Church - the Christian church which is actually based on the unpleasant teachings of Paul. How many times did Jesus refer to his own death in the Bible? probably about three times. How many times did he mention blood sacrifice and crucifixion? probably never. How much of the Christian church is based on guilt, death and crucifixion? almost all of it. No, you can read in the gospels with almost 100% positivity - the teachings of an enlightened healing master in touch with heaven and earth - almost every word is this. The few exceptions bear the hallmarks of careful editing - I think everyone should read the gospels, especially the original gospel of Matthew with an open mind [or is it Mark? actually all 4 are good, and cohesive and consistent with this view of Jesus] - I would get shot in your country for saying this, but Jesus can be seen as an authentic tai chi or zen master - a profound teacher with amazing healing and inspiring powers. He refers to himself throughout the NIV as 'the son of man' - check the definition - could be either a messiah or simply 'the son of humanity' - the second reading seems more accurate to the rest of the text. great inspiring stuff. don't shoot me though!!
    Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!

    If you don't want to be in the bracket of great writers here, then that's fine. There are a lot of great writers. CateF is pretty prolific - prolifically great!! However I always get a massive amount from your writing, and it always hits home, and you have very strong words, that stick around for a good long while. I would like to read more. Have to get more out of ostrich mode here!

    This has all the hallmarks of a private message - hope noone else reads it!! :lol:
    Post edited by tremors on
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  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    Fall

    fall
    like me
    fall to the ground
    fall with the leaves
    the earth turns around
    heat finally sinks
    from the outer to the core
    never mistake
    such waning
    for an end
    don't pretend your life is now through
    simply ease back into sinking
    the sinking, the drop
    sadness
    the energy is fading
    the leaves turning brown
    bed down for winter
    begin avoiding the town
    gather the chestnuts
    store them away
    squirrel provisions
    the fight - another day
    shelter from frostbite
    get neither too hot nor too cold
    just feel the tradition
    from the new to the old
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  • Not only do i like your writing but that avatar is the best ................
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    Not only do i like your writing but that avatar is the best ................


    hahaha - my favourite reply of recent weeks - thanks!! One day I plan to stick with the same avatar for more than four weeks. again. This one (with variations) might be the one. Thanks for your support. Every time I post something about sweet holy jeebus late at night I wake up with a sense of regret and a feeling that I might drive someone to violence (good job I know a lot of kung fu eh??)

    Was reading the new testament last night. I have read the NIV at certain points of my life - the hardest parts - and I can now really hear the words of a real human being - with powers to forgive or transcend. Have you noticed how Jesus rarely takes credit for his wonders, or his 'messiah' status? He says - 'it is your faith that has healed you', or something like as strong as your faith is, this is from which you will be healed (ie it is in YOU not me). When people ask if he is the son of god he answers indirectly such as 'it is as you say'. You can see this most clearly when John the Baptists asks if Jesus is 'the one' or if there will be another.
    After Jesus had finished instructing his twelve disciples, he went on from there to teach and preach in the towns of Galilee.

    When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"

    Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me."

    As John's disciples were leaving, Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John: "What did you go out into the desert to see? A reed swayed by the wind? If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear fine clothes are in kings' palaces. Then what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet.....
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