Destination Weddings

Cliffy6745

I have a destination wedding next June and am really looking forward to it. It is absolutely the only time our entire group of friends will get together and go on vacation together so it will be a great time and a complete shit show.

know1

We did a destination wedding, but it was only for family. We also picked a destination where they could possibly drive if they needed to. We asked all of them their opinions before going ahead with it.

I think if you have a destination where guests HAVE to fly, get a passport, etc., then it's probably a little too much.

dunkman

If i had to do it all again i'd have got married somewhere abroad and then had a party when we got back home... also if I had to do it all again I would insist on a contract that guaranteed me the same amount of sex post-wedding as I was getting pre-wedding.

BinauralJam

dunkman wrote:

If i had to do it all again i'd have got married somewhere abroad and then had a party when we got back home... also if I had to do it all again I would insist on a contract that guaranteed me the same amount of sex post-wedding as I was getting pre-wedding.

Your a Dreamer Dunkman, i like that.

ponner1us

I've gone to a destination wedding in Jamaica for my wife's best friend. I think they're great as long as enough advance notice is given so people can save up some $. We just decided to make that our vacation that year and went a few days earlier for some time by ourselves.

Just don't be disappointed when some people(there will be some) can't make it because of genuine financial concerns.

Lauri

blackredyellow wrote:

in eds tree wrote:

it's your wedding, dude. do what you want.

i have travelled for tons of weddings (all in the U.S.). the worst, though, is when the bride picks $200+ dresses for their bridesmaids. THAT is super rude. especially when some of your bridesmaid dresses are travelling from out of town. this has happened to me so many times, so that is a good thing to keep in mind :P

just having my wife be in a couple of weddings, the whole expense thing irritates me... They gotta buy a dress (plus get it tailored and stuff), help put together a shower (including buying a gift), bachelorette party, hotel at wedding (for two nights because of the rehersal the night before), and a wedding gift... it's like $1000 for the whole process. It's almost like it's a test to see how good of a friend you are.

We are both glad that outside of her sister (who isn't getting married any time soon), she won't have any more weddings to be in.

This is right on. I think guys have a different situation. For girls you really are supposed to drop everything, including money, for a close friend's wedding. For someone who doesn't plan on getting married, at least not anytime in the foreseeable future, it gets a little irritating because you know your friends would not do the same for you for something else that's important to you. I average about $500/wedding, depending on travel, whether I'm a bridesmaid, etc. The best you can hope for is a local wedding you're not in and aren't invited to the bachelorette party...best to be friends with the groom cuz then you don't have the shower (pure evil, btw). This is rarely the case!

Lauri

ponner1us wrote:

I've gone to a destination wedding in Jamaica for my wife's best friend. I think they're great as long as enough advance notice is given so people can save up some $. We just decided to make that our vacation that year and went a few days earlier for some time by ourselves.

Just don't be disappointed when some people(there will be some) can't make it because of genuine financial concerns.

yeah but it's also kind of like you're determining where these other people have to take their vacations (unless they're enormously wealthy and can afford to take more than one trip in a year or whatever). I mean, if you're planning on going to or really want to go to Jamaica or whatever, and you can kill two birds with one stone that's great, but I've got one this fall that's not anywhere I'd really want to go, and I can't afford to go on a trip for myself, so it gets disheartening to keep paying for these 1 or 2-night trips that other people decide on for me (but I do want to go because I want to see everyone, etc). Even if it's in a good place, I can never afford to stay for more than the actual wedding, so I fly out the next day. It gets to be a lot of expense for not much benefit to the person spending it. I mean it's not that weddings aren't enjoyable, but I can see people recite vows and dance to Billie Jean in town.

Heineken Helen

Lauri wrote:

yeah but it's also kind of like you're determining where these other people have to take their vacations (unless they're enormously wealthy and can afford to take more than one trip in a year or whatever). I mean, if you're planning on going to or really want to go to Jamaica or whatever, and you can kill two birds with one stone that's great, but I've got one this fall that's not anywhere I'd really want to go, and I can't afford to go on a trip for myself, so it gets disheartening to keep paying for these 1 or 2-night trips that other people decide on for me (but I do want to go because I want to see everyone, etc). Even if it's in a good place, I can never afford to stay for more than the actual wedding, so I fly out the next day. It gets to be a lot of expense for not much benefit to the person spending it. I mean it's not that weddings aren't enjoyable, but I can see people recite vows and dance to Billie Jean in town.

How about you just learn to say NO the next time somebody's inconsiderate enough to get married somewhere you don't want to go. If ya don't wanna go, don't go!

I'm getting married in April and there will be a lot of people travelling to it... if they can't come I will completely understand... I'm not expecting or demanding anything from anyone. I hope they come but if they can't, I'd rather they simply call me and explain... then go and then bitch about it for years to come :roll: .

RKCNDY

I had a destination wedding, in Vegas because he insisted on Vegas. He got his bachelor party in Vegas, I got to play slot machines all night (no, I didn't get a bachelorette party). We did everything everybody else wanted to do, I didn't get to do anything I wanted. I should have ran off and did stuff by myself.

Don't worry about what other people think or want, do what YOU want to do.

Cradles Broken Glass

satansbedbugs wrote:

Is having a destination wedding a rude gesture in a way to your friends considering it costs so much to get there , and we cant cover those costs for them ? opinions please would be appreciated ...thanks

SBB

I think it would only be a rude gesture if you required them to be there. My suggestion would be to just do the wedding with the bride and groom. When you get back you can have a reception to celebrate with friends and family. IMO, if I had mine to do over again, it would be a destination. It would have been so much more perfect just me and my hubby.

Lauri

Heineken Helen wrote:

How about you just learn to say NO the next time somebody's inconsiderate enough to get married somewhere you don't want to go. If ya don't wanna go, don't go!

I find extremely difficult to choose between my friends. How can I tell one friend I'm going to their wedding, but tell the other one, sorry, your wedding isn't good enough? It's one thing if you don't have a lot of weddings to go to, but I am at the age where EVERYONE is getting married. I average a wedding per month. AND most of these people are all friends with each other, so they know what my overall plans are. It's also different if you are getting married where you live or where your parents live or something and people who don't live there would have to travel, but destination weddings are different. It's also another thing if it's just the wedding, but I went to a bachelorette party and a shower (in town) over the weekend (for the same person) and dropped $160 and the wedding hasn't even happened yet. People can married where ever they want, but they do in fact, get upset when no one can come (at least the people I know). All I am saying is that if you want to have a destination wedding, you have to be willing to accept that people won't come and you have to remember that just because you want to go to X location, it doesn't mean all of your friends and relatives would choose to spend their money to go there. It sounds obvious, but it's not in practice. Many people who have destination weddings end up in a totally different mind set, and I don't know if it's the just hullabaloo of having a wedding that inflates their egos or a predetermined personality trait, but it does happen. Obviously the original poster has a conscience given their quandary, so I'm just saying, remember what you've said here that things can, indeed, become a bit rude if you don't watch yourself.

Kilgore_Trout

well put lauri... thats it in a nutshell

pearljgirl2010

i had a destination wedding the first time I got married and I loved it...my friends understood why I did it, and although they were bummed they couldn't go, they understood that we did what we wanted to do. I'd do it again the next time!!! not only was it an awesome vacation, but it was MUCH less expensive than a traditional wedding and so so so much less stress. we didn't want to say that "we wish we would have..." No regrets.

Franny

dunkman wrote:

If i had to do it all again i'd have got married somewhere abroad and then had a party when we got back home... also if I had to do it all again I would insist on a contract that guaranteed me the same amount of sex post-wedding as I was getting pre-wedding.

OMG!! The Dunkman is MARRIED!!!

dunkman

Sagittarius Crux wrote:

dunkman wrote:

If i had to do it all again i'd have got married somewhere abroad and then had a party when we got back home... also if I had to do it all again I would insist on a contract that guaranteed me the same amount of sex post-wedding as I was getting pre-wedding.

OMG!! The Dunkman is MARRIED!!!

it's truly amazing what you'll get for 12 sheep and a bag of haggis.

Franny

dunkman wrote:

Sagittarius Crux wrote:

dunkman wrote:

If i had to do it all again i'd have got married somewhere abroad and then had a party when we got back home... also if I had to do it all again I would insist on a contract that guaranteed me the same amount of sex post-wedding as I was getting pre-wedding.

OMG!! The Dunkman is MARRIED!!!

it's truly amazing what you'll get for 12 sheep and a bag of haggis.

_

My brother had a destination wedding in Tulum, Mexico, in October. We weren't really in support of this plan at first because we have a large family and of course they have waited for this moment (my brother's wedding) for his whole life and most of them weren't invited. (The maximum number of guests allowed in the largest wedding package was 20.) It was also somewhat difficult because those of us who were invited and would never have missed it aren't exactly rolling in money. But he had a reception back home the week after the wedding so everyone could attend. And he made sure the immediate family had a plan to be able to afford the trip to Mexico. (This does require a LOT of notice.) It helped that he was clear that we didn't need to give gifts, and that he held it at an all-inclusive resort, so we didn't need to pay extra for food, etc. Ultimately, it was the best wedding I have ever attended! Everything was taken care of by the resort for much less cost than they would have paid back home, and the resort has several weddings a day, so they really know their stuff! Best wedding pictures I've ever seen, for instance. I'm glad he and his wife got to have the wedding they wanted and I'm glad we got to go on a wonderful trip that we wouldn't otherwise have been able to take. And the people who weren't invited all ultimately understood and were happy for him too. I say, go for it!

Lauri

I just went to one this weekend that was definitely the way to do a destination wedding. It was in the mountains in a location that some of the relatives and stuff didn't actually have to travel overnight for. It was insanely cheap-- $100 for the whole weekend, and everyone stayed together in large cabins and paid by the person, not the room. Everything was very laid back and the wedding was so casual it didn't require any new clothes or anything.