Stuff White People Like
#101 Being Offended
May 28, 2008 by clander
To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past. This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy. But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people. In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended.
Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people. In fact, they don’t even have a problem making offensive statements about other white people (ask a white person about “flyover states”). As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.
It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended. They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference.
White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops. All of which do an excellent job of raising awareness among white people who hope to change their status from “not racist” to “super not racist.”
Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people. Missing an opportunity to be outraged is like missing a reference to Derrida-it’s social death.
If you ever need to make a white person feel indebted to you, wait for them to mention a book, film, or television show that features a character who is the same race as you, then say “the representation of <insert race> was offensive and if you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.” After they return from their hastily booked trip to land of your ancestors, they will be desperate to make it up to you. At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house.
Seriously, why are people offended by this? How can you be so insecure in yourself that this offends you? Find something else to get all up in arms about. You obviously have too much time on your hands.
"If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."
Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.
Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.
Because white people love nothing more than to be offended, so they can feel oh-so-much-more-sensitive and enlightened than everyone else.
The other day I was supposed to attend an ACLU meeting at the same time my brewer friend invited me to his brewery for microbrews. Imagine my dillema...
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The other day I was supposed to attend an ACLU meeting at the same time my brewer friend invited me to his brewery for microbrews. Imagine my dillema...
Awesome. I bet you wanted to respond to him by giving him a printout from that website.
Or, you could have invited him to have an expensive sandwich.
Stuff White People Like
#101 Being Offended
May 28, 2008 by clander
To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past. This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy. But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people. In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended.
Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people. In fact, they don’t even have a problem making offensive statements about other white people (ask a white person about “flyover states”). As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.
It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended. They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference.
White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops. All of which do an excellent job of raising awareness among white people who hope to change their status from “not racist” to “super not racist.”
Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people. Missing an opportunity to be outraged is like missing a reference to Derrida-it’s social death.
If you ever need to make a white person feel indebted to you, wait for them to mention a book, film, or television show that features a character who is the same race as you, then say “the representation of <insert race> was offensive and if you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.” After they return from their hastily booked trip to land of your ancestors, they will be desperate to make it up to you. At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house.
HA!! I love that site. It is hysterical...by the by: W.M.A. 30
Hey, you wouldn't hire a clown to fix a leak in the jon so why do you let these hooligans tear down the biz? YEEAAHHH. I don't care if he is Mr. Notorious BIG, can he croon?
now don't get your panties in a bunch all you politically correct people!
What a shame, you give no chance to the rest of us brown brothers?
Please get to know us before you judge us by stereotypes. My personality is 100% American and male but I do not qualify because I'm not white. So sad. :(
Oh by the way, I don't think this thread is degrading or "racist"...totally nothing wrong with it at all.
I made a thread about the white of NBA, got a couple of angry repliers. I'm not even white. LOL http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=273019
But anyways, the thread is fine.
However, Model~Roll Model's remark there has puzzled me a bit. I'd like to get to know what's her reasoning. Or is she just messin' around. If she's not then I'd like to know why she based her love interest on race and nationality?
Comments
racist.
you got to spend it all...*****
i agree. this thread sucks!!!
kinakamot ang aking puwit...
me rascando pompis...
krap mijn reet...
boku no ketsuoana o kizu...
bahrosh teezy...
Kissimmee 10/08/04
Tampa 06/12/08
"I got a recipe for anus ankle soup, yeah."
There's a constant ringing in my ears
Sense of humor's void and numb
And I'm bored to tears.......
Seriously, why would you want to know this?
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Near as I can tell, a "Base"?
2006: Camden 1&2, East Ruth 1&2
2008: BONNAROO, MSG1, MSG2, Hartford
2009: Philly 1, 2, 4
2010: Hartford, MSG1, MSG2
2012: Made in America
2013: BK1, BK2, Hartford
2015: Global Citizens
2016: MSG 2 (ISO MSG1)
EV Solo: NJPAC 2008; Tower Theatre, PA 2009; Hartford 2011
Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.
Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.
http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/
http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/28/101-being-offended/
Stuff White People Like
#101 Being Offended
May 28, 2008 by clander
To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past. This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy. But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people. In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended.
Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people. In fact, they don’t even have a problem making offensive statements about other white people (ask a white person about “flyover states”). As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.
It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended. They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference.
White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops. All of which do an excellent job of raising awareness among white people who hope to change their status from “not racist” to “super not racist.”
Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people. Missing an opportunity to be outraged is like missing a reference to Derrida-it’s social death.
If you ever need to make a white person feel indebted to you, wait for them to mention a book, film, or television show that features a character who is the same race as you, then say “the representation of <insert race> was offensive and if you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.” After they return from their hastily booked trip to land of your ancestors, they will be desperate to make it up to you. At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house.
Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.
Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.
http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/
http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
Am I racist because I picked my username back in the day?? Since everybody's so enlightened, please tell me why I did it...
Would I be racist if I was proud of the fact that I'm a W.M.A?? Please people...this is now getting funny...
The other day I was supposed to attend an ACLU meeting at the same time my brewer friend invited me to his brewery for microbrews. Imagine my dillema...
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
:rolleyes:
now don't get your panties in a bunch all you politically correct people!
Awesome. I bet you wanted to respond to him by giving him a printout from that website.
Or, you could have invited him to have an expensive sandwich.
Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.
Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.
http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/
http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
http://seanbriceart.com/
Please get to know us before you judge us by stereotypes. My personality is 100% American and male but I do not qualify because I'm not white. So sad. :(
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
I made a thread about the white of NBA, got a couple of angry repliers. I'm not even white. LOL
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=273019
But anyways, the thread is fine.
However, Model~Roll Model's remark there has puzzled me a bit. I'd like to get to know what's her reasoning. Or is she just messin' around.
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/90/Abu_Ghraib_53.jpg
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
I heard that. I like my coffee just like my women - black & strong!