ADVICE COLUMN: The DR is IN

DangDang

Well, go ahead. Ask your question. :wtf:

Wobbie

we're going to need to see some credentials, before we start providing personal details.

DangDang

imalive wrote:

we're going to need to see some credentials, before we start providing personal details.

1) I am sarcasticive

81

good enough for me.

PearlOfAGirl

Do you have any kind of degree?

Phantom Pain

who do I make the check out to ?

DangDang

HeartShapedBox wrote:

Do you have any kind of degree?

Yes.

DangDang

Phantom Pain wrote:

who do I make the check out to ?

Aisle Number 5

PearlOfAGirl

DangDang wrote:

HeartShapedBox wrote:

Do you have any kind of degree?

Yes.

Are you a head shrinker?

DangDang

HeartShapedBox wrote:

Are you a head shrinker?

:shock:



Somewhat I guess.

Was that advice useful?

PearlOfAGirl

DangDang wrote:

HeartShapedBox wrote:

Are you a head shrinker?

:shock:



Somewhat I guess.

Was that advice useful?

not really

FinsburyParkCarrots

Have you been writing out prescriptions for yourself?

DangDang

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Have you been writing out prescriptions for yourself?

PearlOfAGirl

If I tell a lie, will my pants catch on fire? :think:

DangDang

HeartShapedBox wrote:

If I tell a lie, will my pants catch on fire? :think:

Wobbie

Dear Doc-

I find myself coming home from work with various office supplies. Nothing much - a pack of Post-its here, a roll of scotch tape there. Is this normal or should I seek help?

Klepto

the wolf

Dear DR,

How many of those chalky bi-colored pastel lollipops with the hollow white stick can I consume before
my pee turns to powder?

And should I consume enough chalky lollipops to turn my pee to powder, how long before it clears up?

thanks.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Every time I see hot and cold taps (US = faucets) in display sink units of hardware stores, or said articles of installed facilities in hotel bathrooms or the counters of supermarket cafés and overcrowded bars, I feel the irrepressible urge to massage the twin orbs of my posterior, rubbing the left hand in a circular clockwise motion upon the corresponding arsecheek L, and the right in a circular anti-clockwise motion accordant with arsecheek R. Also, I feel the necessity to do this while singing the Beelzebub sequence of Bohemian Rhapsody in an authentic rural low-dutch accent, backwards. I can not stop until everyone in my immediate vicinity (including security) is also engaged in rigorously massaging their own buttcheeks and singing in unison.

While this peculiar instance of OCD attains pleasure I am concerned about friction burns on the palms of my hands caused by, er, friction. Could you advise a medically sanctioned hand cream or vegan-friendly food product, good for ameliorating the outbreak of unwarranted welts and crinkles?

:geek: :?:

Dissidentman

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Every time I see hot and cold taps (US = faucets) in display sink units of hardware stores, or said articles of installed facilities in hotel bathrooms or the counters of supermarket cafés and overcrowded bars, I feel the irrepressible urge to massage the twin orbs of my posterior, rubbing the left hand in a circular clockwise motion upon the corresponding arsecheek L, and the right in a circular anti-clockwise motion accordant with arsecheek R. Also, I feel the necessity to do this while singing the Beelzebub sequence of Bohemian Rhapsody in an authentic rural low-dutch accent, backwards. I can not stop until everyone in my immediate vicinity (including security) is also engaged in rigorously massaging their own buttcheeks and singing in unison.

While this peculiar instance of OCD attains pleasure I am concerned about friction burns on the palms of my hands caused by, er, friction. Could you advise a medically sanctioned hand cream or vegan-friendly food product, good for ameliorating the outbreak of unwarranted welts and crinkles?

:geek: :?:

I.... I.... I'm scared a little.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Dissidentman wrote:

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Every time I see hot and cold taps (US = faucets) in display sink units of hardware stores, or said articles of installed facilities in hotel bathrooms or the counters of supermarket cafés and overcrowded bars, I feel the irrepressible urge to massage the twin orbs of my posterior, rubbing the left hand in a circular clockwise motion upon the corresponding arsecheek L, and the right in a circular anti-clockwise motion accordant with arsecheek R. Also, I feel the necessity to do this while singing the Beelzebub sequence of Bohemian Rhapsody in an authentic rural low-dutch accent, backwards. I can not stop until everyone in my immediate vicinity (including security) is also engaged in rigorously massaging their own buttcheeks and singing in unison.

While this peculiar instance of OCD attains pleasure I am concerned about friction burns on the palms of my hands caused by, er, friction. Could you advise a medically sanctioned hand cream or vegan-friendly food product, good for ameliorating the outbreak of unwarranted welts and crinkles?

:geek: :?:

I.... I.... I'm scared a little.

Arsetickl-ophobia. The doctor may have a cure.

Dissidentman

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Dissidentman wrote:

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Every time I see hot and cold taps (US = faucets) in display sink units of hardware stores, or said articles of installed facilities in hotel bathrooms or the counters of supermarket cafés and overcrowded bars, I feel the irrepressible urge to massage the twin orbs of my posterior, rubbing the left hand in a circular clockwise motion upon the corresponding arsecheek L, and the right in a circular anti-clockwise motion accordant with arsecheek R. Also, I feel the necessity to do this while singing the Beelzebub sequence of Bohemian Rhapsody in an authentic rural low-dutch accent, backwards. I can not stop until everyone in my immediate vicinity (including security) is also engaged in rigorously massaging their own buttcheeks and singing in unison.

While this peculiar instance of OCD attains pleasure I am concerned about friction burns on the palms of my hands caused by, er, friction. Could you advise a medically sanctioned hand cream or vegan-friendly food product, good for ameliorating the outbreak of unwarranted welts and crinkles?

:geek: :?:

I.... I.... I'm scared a little.

Arsetickl-ophobia. The doctor may have a cure.

Don't joke...this is debilatating