eyed and horse(s)?

chadwick

what's up mr?
tell us about it.

lemme guess..
a horse was grazing one spring morning.
you woke up, unzipped your tent.
stood up to pee
and the horse got jealous, right?

eyedclaar

It's like you have a crystal ball into my very life! Ok, really we bought a horse trailer to get Legs up into the mountains carrying our shit for us, and I think he got wind of that whole plan, because he doesn't want to get in the trailer. Ever tried to force a 1,500 pound animal into a small cage it doesn't want to go in?

Dissidentman

eyedclaar wrote:

It's like you have a crystal ball into my very life! Ok, really we bought a horse trailer to get Legs up into the mountains carrying our shit for us, and I think he got wind of that whole plan, because he doesn't want to get in the trailer. Ever tried to force a 1,500 pound animal into a small cage it doesn't want to go in?

Must be even harder when that 1500 pound animal has penis envy.

eyedclaar

Dissidentman wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

It's like you have a crystal ball into my very life! Ok, really we bought a horse trailer to get Legs up into the mountains carrying our shit for us, and I think he got wind of that whole plan, because he doesn't want to get in the trailer. Ever tried to force a 1,500 pound animal into a small cage it doesn't want to go in?

Must be even harder when that 1500 pound animal has penis envy.

Abso-freakin-lutely.

ZiggyStar

The horse doesn't want to go in the trailer because you fucking named him LEGS! :?

eyedclaar

ZiggyStar wrote:

The horse doesn't want to go in the trailer because you fucking named him LEGS! :?

I didn't name him that... but I did name one of our cats Peachy. D'oh!

ZiggyStar

eyedclaar wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

The horse doesn't want to go in the trailer because you fucking named him LEGS! :?

I didn't name him that... but I did name one of our cats Peachy. D'oh!

Well what's his name?

And I just remembered you're a cat lover --- which now explains the "Wee!".

Did you like my puppies?

chadwick

i suggest carrots and giant pears.
and yes, yes i have a crystal ball aimed at you.
so um, have you beat the horse yet?

eyedclaar

ZiggyStar wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

The horse doesn't want to go in the trailer because you fucking named him LEGS! :?

I didn't name him that... but I did name one of our cats Peachy. D'oh!

Well what's his name?

And I just remembered you're a cat lover --- which now explains the "Wee!".

Did you like my puppies?

His name is Legs, but I didn't do it. He was named that before I ever met him. And cats are nature's most perfect killing machine... outside of the water... and possibly some weird critter in Australia that's poisonous and whatnot.

Your dogs are bigger than you!

eyedclaar

chadwick wrote:

so um, have you beat the horse yet?

I threatened it with a knife and made mention to the fact that my .44 wasn't far off... Neither worked.

ZiggyStar

Eyed, did you know that pigs have curly penises like their tails!? I had no idea. I saw that in a porno. I will forever be scarred....but at least I learnt something from the experience.

ZiggyStar

eyedclaar wrote:

His name is Legs, but I didn't do it. He was named that before I ever met him. And cats are nature's most perfect killing machine... outside of the water... and possibly some weird critter in Australia that's poisonous and whatnot.

Your dogs are bigger than you!

Ohhh I understand now! Legs is a crap name....

When my Dalmatian Floyd (now that's a cool name) stands on his hind legs, he's nearly looking into my eyes. I love BIG things! My bf things I have a 'being small' complex. But I love being small....but I also love big things.

Black Diamond

ZiggyStar wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

His name is Legs, but I didn't do it. He was named that before I ever met him. And cats are nature's most perfect killing machine... outside of the water... and possibly some weird critter in Australia that's poisonous and whatnot.

Your dogs are bigger than you!

Ohhh I understand now! Legs is a crap name....

I love BIG things!

That's what she said...

ZiggyStar

Black Diamond wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

His name is Legs, but I didn't do it. He was named that before I ever met him. And cats are nature's most perfect killing machine... outside of the water... and possibly some weird critter in Australia that's poisonous and whatnot.

Your dogs are bigger than you!

Ohhh I understand now! Legs is a crap name....

I love BIG things!

That's what she said...

hahaha

Hey BD!! :wave: :wave: You and I will be having a Skype date very soon, punk! Have you used it yet?

eyedclaar

ZiggyStar wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

His name is Legs, but I didn't do it. He was named that before I ever met him. And cats are nature's most perfect killing machine... outside of the water... and possibly some weird critter in Australia that's poisonous and whatnot.

Your dogs are bigger than you!

Ohhh I understand now! Legs is a crap name....

When my Dalmatian Floyd (now that's a cool name) stands on his hind legs, he's nearly looking into my eyes. I love BIG things! My bf things I have a 'being small' complex. But I love being small....but I also love big things.

Well then maybe you can sweet talk the big dumbass into the trailer.

Black Diamond

ZiggyStar wrote:

Hey BD!! :wave: :wave: You and I will be having a Skype date very soon, punk! Have you used it yet?

:wave: :wave:
I don't know how

ZiggyStar

eyedclaar wrote:

Well then maybe you can sweet talk the big dumbass into the trailer.

I can sweet talk anyone....

ZiggyStar

Black Diamond wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

Hey BD!! :wave: :wave: You and I will be having a Skype date very soon, punk! Have you used it yet?

:wave: :wave:
I don't know how

I'll teach you....geez do I have to do everything?!!? :roll:

Nice pics on FB btw....kids look great! As does Mrs BD. Shame about you....you really let the family down! Actually, you're looking pretty trim, BD! :thumbup: Was going to comment on FB but they weren't your photos....you were tagged in someone elses!

dunkman

ZiggyStar wrote:

Eyed, did you know that pigs have curly penises like their tails!? I had no idea. I saw that in a porno. I will forever be scarred....but at least I learnt something from the experience.

I saw that same movie... and i learnt something from it also... I learned that if you want to open a bottle of wine then find a horny pig.

eyedclaar

ZiggyStar wrote:

Black Diamond wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

Hey BD!! :wave: :wave: You and I will be having a Skype date very soon, punk! Have you used it yet?

:wave: :wave:
I don't know how

I'll teach you....geez do I have to do everything?!!? :roll:

Nice pics on FB btw....kids look great! As does Mrs BD. Shame about you....you really let the family down! Actually, you're looking pretty trim, BD! :thumbup: Was going to comment on FB but they weren't your photos....you were tagged in someone elses!

Black Diamond is Herschel Walker's personal trainer. For what ever reason though, it doesn't always translate in photographs. Trust me, BD is ripped!

Dissidentman

dunkman wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

Eyed, did you know that pigs have curly penises like their tails!? I had no idea. I saw that in a porno. I will forever be scarred....but at least I learnt something from the experience.

I saw that same movie... and i learnt something from it also... I learned that if you want to open a bottle of wine then find a horny pig.

hmmm...you find a horny pig, you can spare your wine....

eyedclaar

Dissidentman wrote:

dunkman wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

Eyed, did you know that pigs have curly penises like their tails!? I had no idea. I saw that in a porno. I will forever be scarred....but at least I learnt something from the experience.

I saw that same movie... and i learnt something from it also... I learned that if you want to open a bottle of wine then find a horny pig.

hmmm...you find a horny pig, you can spare your wine....

But makin' bacon should be a sloppy affair, if you know what I mean.

ZiggyStar

dunkman wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

Eyed, did you know that pigs have curly penises like their tails!? I had no idea. I saw that in a porno. I will forever be scarred....but at least I learnt something from the experience.

I saw that same movie... and i learnt something from it also... I learned that if you want to open a bottle of wine then find a horny pig.

LMAO! I've been at parties where people have forgotten bottle openers and can't open wine....fuck, if only I'd remembered to use a pig instead! Idiot!

ZiggyStar

eyedclaar wrote:

But makin' bacon should be a sloppy affair, if you know what I mean.

Depends what you mean by sloppy......

Anyway back to the horse.....

That same porno had a donkey in it....poor Eeyore! So wrong....did you see him Dunk?

dunkman

don't fret Zigglesworth... most wines come with a screw top now anyway... and i find a zebra's vagina gives the best grip for that job.

Dissidentman

eyedclaar wrote:

But makin' bacon should be a sloppy affair, if you know what I mean.

Covered in grease and animals following you for the rest of the day?

eyedclaar

dunkman wrote:

don't fret Zigglesworth... most wines come with a screw top now anyway... and i find a zebra's vagina gives the best grip for that job.

Speaking of wine, Dunk you ever heard of boxwine?

This wound him up pretty good once before... Stand back!

eyedclaar

Dissidentman wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

But makin' bacon should be a sloppy affair, if you know what I mean.

Covered in grease and animals following you for the rest of the day?

Sure. Sometimes, when I backpack in bear country, I stash a piece of bacon in the pack of the person I dislike the most. Good times!

Dissidentman

dunkman wrote:

don't fret Zigglesworth... most wines come with a screw top now anyway... and i find a zebra's vagina gives the best grip for that job.

I was kicked out of the zoo after I was caught thrusting a Kendall Jackson at a the backside of a zebra once, so I know this to be true.

ZiggyStar

dunkman wrote:

don't fret Zigglesworth... most wines come with a screw top now anyway... and i find a zebra's vagina gives the best grip for that job.

Yeah....true....so many poor pigs must be out of jobs now due to those screw tops, huh! More and more would be heading back to the porn industry. *shakes head* Oh well....at least the kids of todays world will still be able to discover that pigs have corkscrew penises.

The zebra hey....will def keep that in mind. Thanks man!

eyedclaar

ZiggyStar wrote:

dunkman wrote:

don't fret Zigglesworth... most wines come with a screw top now anyway... and i find a zebra's vagina gives the best grip for that job.

Yeah....true....so many poor pigs must be out of jobs now due to those screw tops, huh! More and more would be heading back to the porn industry. *shakes head* Oh well....at least the kids of todays world will still be able to discover that pigs have corkscrew penises.

The zebra hey....will def keep that in mind. Thanks man!

You two have taken an innocent and promising thread about a horse penis and turned it into something nasty... a thread about a pig penis. Shame on you both.