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tacky?

decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
edited March 2010 in All Encompassing Trip
just curious what people may think.


went to my nephew's fiancee's bridal shower yesterday. firstly, no alcohol of any form was served :shock: ....that was new to me, and yea, not so fun. haha. bridal showers are tough enough to attend, but cold-stone sober, yikes. however, my query is about this:

there was a basket set up with envelopes and thank you cards in it. that's right, the actual thank you cards i assume that will be sent to all guests to thank them for their gifts, and each guest was meant to address their own envelope for their thank you card. :? :shock: :roll:

i'm sorry, i am all for efficiency and saving time, but cmon.....someone bought you a gift, i think you can manage to write out your own thank you card and address the envelope! hell, you can type up labels on your computer, hopefully have a master list of guests, do a mail merge, whatever. it's not like i expect a hand-written envelope, but to ask your guests to fill it out themselves, yea....utterly tacky in my book. me, my sis and my mom didn't do it. :D
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Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    No booze? Yeesh!!

    And that's a capital T tacky...
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    Black Diamond wrote:
    No booze? Yeesh!!

    And that's a capital T tacky...



    right?!
    wtf?
    :evil:


    and thank you...i was really surprised!
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • mysticweedmysticweed Posts: 3,710
    TACKY to the nth.

    No booze and filling out your own thank you cards.
    Totally tacky
    fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

    "what a long, strange trip it's been"
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    No booze if that's their belief, is ok I guess (but annoying to the rest of us)... But if it's just to save money, then that's tacky.

    As far as the thank you card thing... Beyond tacky...
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  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    blackredyellow wrote:
    No booze if that's their belief, is ok I guess (but annoying to the rest of us)... But if it's just to save money, then that's tacky.

    As far as the thank you card thing... Beyond tacky...



    in all honesty, this is my thought. i met her entire family at thanksgiving, and they ALL drank (my oldest sister, the one who is mother to said nephew, hosted thanksgiving) so i definitely think $$$. but ok, fine, i get it - bridesmaids are supposed to chip in for the shower, maybe they didn't have, or didn't want to, spend that cash. i don't really agree with that, but whatever.

    glad everyone agrees on the tacky-factor for the cards tho, just wanted to verify i am not hopelessly out of touch with what is deemed 'acceptible' today, b/c yea....tacky! :lol:
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    Filling out your own cards, totally not acceptable. The maid of honor or one of her bridesmaids is supposed to write down what everyone gave, and then the bride is to do the work. That is just laziness talking.

    And the booze, I could never get through a shower without it. If its the money thing, then don't get it through the restaurant (or wherever its being held)- just buy it outside. That's a bit cheaper.

    But no drinks... :evil:
  • peacegirlpeacegirl Posts: 835
    filling out your own thank you card? VERY TACKY!
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,476
    peacegirl wrote:
    filling out your own thank you card? VERY TACKY!
    Not taking 20 seconds of your life, and filling out the silly card?? Tacky
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    vduboise wrote:
    Filling out your own cards, totally not acceptable. The maid of honor or one of her bridesmaids is supposed to write down what everyone gave, and then the bride is to do the work. That is just laziness talking.

    And the booze, I could never get through a shower without it. If its the money thing, then don't get it through the restaurant (or wherever its being held)- just buy it outside. That's a bit cheaper.

    But no drinks... :evil:



    oh yea, the maid of honor did do all that....and it's like, hello? she also (the moh) hand-wrote all the invites/envelopes....so someone, somewhere, has a master list of all our names/addys in attendance.


    the shower was held in the bride's mother's home, so it was a VERY affordable shower.
    believe me, both my sister and i were like wtf?! :wtf: :twisted: :lol: over the no alcohol thing. i mean, we did take the punch figuring well, guess this IS the only alcohol present, and when we realized it was virgin.... :shock: none too pleased. i did have 2 glasses of wine before i left home to get a wee bit primed for the occasion, but given how long it took us to get there....yea....wasn't much help. :P i will admit, that bottle of wine got wiped out upon my return home. :mrgreen:

    glad most feel the same way tho. given my own sister, i wonder what she thought, b/c she was always the queen of perfect manners, but just shows...she's going to be a good mil and not say a word. :D



    btw - we were never 'officially' asked to fill out the envelopes b/c we were an hour late. got hopelessly lost on our way, horrible directions from the evite site...so another guest filled us in. :lol:
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • MayDay10MayDay10 Posts: 11,680
    tacky
  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,799
    Definitely tacky - and a shower WITHOUT alcohol? Nooooooo way. Those things are boring enough.

    The best shower I EVER went to was a baby shower, it was a Sunday and it was held at a local restaurant - so it was a brunch, with a bar, so cool.

    Well, my girlfriend went into labor and never made it to the shower. Needless to say, the rest of us girls made a day of it and we were still celebrating about 11:00 that evening. It was football season and we must have hit three different bars that day and then ended up watching the Sunday night game too.

    It was a blast. :D
  • JaneNYJaneNY Posts: 4,438
    I don't drink so the alcohol doesn't matter to me, but yes it is just too tacky to expect guests to address their own cards. I saw this once at a baby shower. Its like yeah we have to send you thank you cards but we can't be bothered to address your card. I bet they addressed the invitations that asked you to show up and give them presents.
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  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Sorry, I didn't get past the no alcohol part, nothing really mades sense to me from that point on....
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  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    maybe they didn't serve alcohol because they knew that people would get drunk and get creative with the thank you cards ;):lol:
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    The cost of this wedding must be setting in for everyone- they're probably broke. Maybe the wedding party is saving the booze and $$$ for the bachlorette party :)
    I think you mentioned they wanted you to fill out just the addresses on the envelopes not the cards themselves, now if you had to make out your own thank you card that would be over the top tacky- filling out the envelope thats still a bit weird. Maybe a time crunch- is the wedding real soon maybe? just stretching for an explanation here.
  • tybirdtybird Posts: 17,388
    Magic 8 Ball told me to say,"Tacky, indeed."
    All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
  • Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 12,858
    No booze I can understand. Happens more and more.

    But the card thing is ridiculous.

    And that is coming from someone who just sent out 31 thank you cards.
  • LizardLizard Posts: 12,091
    Must be the "new" thing. I have done it a couple times recently.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • oona leftoona left Posts: 1,677
    Tacky.

    I don't even drink, but I would certainly make booze available if it were my shower. Sheeeesh!!!

    I was at a bridal shower this past weekend, and I was hitting that soda water like nobody's business, let me tell you.

    And the envelopes?? Wow...
  • mikalinamikalina Posts: 7,206
    Completely tacky !!
    ********************************************************************************************* image
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,483
    Just think, they could have asked you to add postage to the envelope.

    They also could have asked you to fill-in your name and type of gift on the thank you card to reduce their work-load even more.

    In our wedding planning, we are trying to be consistent when we choose the level of quality for everything.

    IMHO, all aspects of a wedding, no matter how swank or basic, shouldn't drastically vary.
  • tinkerbelltinkerbell Posts: 2,161
    edited March 2010
    If money was tight, why not say BYO on invite or ask close family if they could bring a bottle?

    If there was no alcohol what did you do?!?

    Card thing not only tacky but rude!!
    Post edited by tinkerbell on
    all you need is love, love is all you need
  • JaneNYJaneNY Posts: 4,438
    decides2dream, did you receive a mailed invitation for the shower to your home?
    R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
    R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
    R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    no booze, no greenery?
    :?
    what the fuck do i look like "your envelope filling out secretary?"
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  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    JaneNY wrote:
    decides2dream, did you receive a mailed invitation for the shower to your home?


    yes.
    i think i mentioned it earlier - the maid of honor hand-wrote out EACH invitation and accompanying envelope. i was actually surprised about that, very old school. for my sister's bridal shower a few years ago, i designed her invites on the computer, i input everyone's name/addys into my avery label program....so i did not hand-write a thing, tho i did put a lot of time/effort into designing the invitation and printing everything etc.


    so hell yea.....i agree, just total laziness on the bride's part imo. tacky. and, the wedding is 2 months away, so plenty of time. hell, my bridal shower was one week before my wedding, and i hand-wrote all my thank-yous/envelopes and got em out in the post. it doesn't take that much time, cmon! :P

    Lizard wrote:
    Must be the "new" thing. I have done it a couple times recently.


    that is just beyond sad.... :|


    i do *get* it....oh, save time, so easy! but where is the forethought, the idea that yes.....it IS tacky to ask your guests to write out an envelope for the gifts they bothered to shop for and wrap to give to you?



    as to the alcohol, i kinda figured the bridesmaids are simply watching their budget. i get it and understand. i didn't like it ;)....but that i can at least understand. the whole envelope thing tho, if it indeed is becoming 'the new thing'...ugh.....one less niceity in the world is slowly dying. hell, if that's the case...do away with showers, period! now that's an idea i can get behind! :mrgreen:
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    what's tacky is that it was probably alcohol that got her knocked up in the first place, they should serve it to keep others drunk so that the viscious cycle of mandatory gift giving continues in the face of all condom manufacturers!

    j/k! :D
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  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    Dear :fill in name:

    Thank you so much for the :fill in gift:. It will really come in handy. I'm sorry we did not have any alcohol at the bridal shower but I did not have the time to visit Costco in the short 3 months that this shower was being prepared. I hope to see you at the wedding. Please see the attached thank you card for the wedding which you need to fill in before the :2 weeks before wedding: and return so that I can make sure I do as little as possible

    Sincerely

    : Pre-stamped Signature:

    PS - If ordering something from my bridal registry, please tell them your guest number :xxx: so it will be personal to me...
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    Black Diamond wrote:
    Dear :fill in name:

    Thank you so much for the :fill in gift:. It will really come in handy. I'm sorry we did not have any alcohol at the bridal shower but I did not have the time to visit Costco in the short 3 months that this shower was being prepared. I hope to see you at the wedding. Please see the attached thank you card for the wedding which you need to fill in before the :2 weeks before wedding: and return so that I can make sure I do as little as possible

    Sincerely

    : Pre-stamped Signature:

    PS - If ordering something from my bridal registry, please tell them your guest number :xxx: so it will be personal to me...

    and then when you're done please feel free to kiss my fat fucking ass :mrgreen:

    them people are idiots
    and i'd probably throw up at this bullshit wedding
    thank god i am not invited

    :mrgreen:
    mr. harsh has spoken
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    what's tacky is that it was probably alcohol that got her knocked up in the first place, they should serve it to keep others drunk so that the viscious cycle of mandatory gift giving continues in the face of all condom manufacturers!

    j/k! :D


    :o
    hey now!
    this is my nephew's future wife we're talking about here! :evil:
    i know, i know....kidding..... :D
    and no, she's not knocked up. they actually are a very responsible couple, very smart in all ways. she probably looks at it from a efficiency pov, instead of well.....erm, tacky.



    BD.....omg....that was priceless!
    eaxctly!
    it's like a kiddie thank you...:lol:


    and you bet.....quite a nice bridal registry....they have a wedding website.....and we DID, happily, buy a really nice gift. we do LOVE them, but yea.....manners are manners.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    decides2dream wrote:
    this is my nephew's future wife we're talking about here! :evil:
    i know, i know....kidding..... :D
    and no, she's not knocked up. they actually are a very responsible couple, very smart in all ways. she probably looks at it from a efficiency pov, instead of well.....erm, tacky.


    what are their ages?
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