Question for the recovering alcoholics

Cliffy6745

crazypjfan wrote:

I have seen or heard enough about alcoholics doing this and am fed up with it. I am entitled to my opinion and won't stand for that type of behavior, regardless of the disease factor. Sorry if I have had some former friends engage in this act and feel bitter about it.

Sorry you have had to experience that but its pretty shitty to sterotype an entire group of people for the mistakes of a few that you knew. There are a lot of good people that have a serious problem.

cowboypjfan

aa

cowboypjfan

aa

Cliffy6745

crazypjfan wrote:

Cliffy6745 wrote:

About beating their wife. That's as low class as it comes.

So as long as they admit they are alcoholic, it becomes ok that a woman has been beaten or others have been hurt because of their behavior?

No one is justifying any domestic abuse and I unlike you have never experienced this situation due to alcoholism. I have seen how low it can bring a number of people but I have not experienced domestic abuse and would never excuse it.

cowboypjfan

aa

mookeywrench

you really think you didn't stereotype alcoholics?

mickeyrat

crazypjfan wrote:

Cliffy6745 wrote:

crazypjfan wrote:

What comments are you talking about?

About beating their wife. That's as low class as it comes.

I have seen or heard enough about alcoholics doing this and am fed up with it. I am entitled to my opinion and won't stand for that type of behavior, regardless of the disease factor. Sorry if I have had some former friends engage in this act and feel bitter about it.

I am not trying to be cold or heartless when it comes to this topic and I am sorry if I have offended anyone.

Well, on that note I would say that Domestic Violence isn't exclusive to alcoholics OR drug addicts. Sober or not. So am I to understand you've been just venting frustration over these "former friends"? And were they sober or still actively drinking? Suppose that doesn't matter in the big picture. The fact is that BOTH DV and alcoholism/drug addiction are deadly serious.

Cliffy6745

crazypjfan wrote:

Well then don't comment on it, cliffster.

I can comment on it because you pretty much referred to all alcoholics as wife beaters when that is far from the case. Like I said I have been through this with a number of people who have ruined their lives because of alcohol but never laid a hand on anyone in their family, so it is pretty fucking offensive for you to refer to alcoholics as wife beaters and saying AA is worthless.

mickeyrat

crazypjfan wrote:

Cliffy6745 wrote:

About beating their wife. That's as low class as it comes.

So as long as they admit they are alcoholic, it becomes ok that a woman has been beaten or others have been hurt because of their behavior?

No. But in admitting they are alcoholic and trying to do something about it helps in them trying as best they can to make things right. As much as could be in those circumstances. Alcoholism is NO excuse for any type of behaviour. It really only explains some of it. There still is accountability and responsibility to those we've hurt.

cowboypjfan

aa

Cliffy6745

crazypjfan wrote:

mickeyrat wrote:

Well, on that note I would say that Domestic Violence isn't exclusive to alcoholics OR drug addicts. Sober or not. So am I to understand you've been just venting frustration over these "former friends"? And were they sober or still actively drinking? Suppose that doesn't matter in the big picture. The fact is that BOTH DV and alcoholism/drug addiction are deadly serious.

Agreed! And I never said that DV is exclusive to alcoholics. It just so happens to be in the case of these, 'former friends'.

DV is inexcusable, regardless of your state of mind!

Fair enough, I got too worked up over this as well. Have a good night.

Cliffy6745

crazypjfan wrote:

Cliffy6745 wrote:

crazypjfan wrote:

Well then don't comment on it, cliffster.

I can comment on it because you pretty much referred to all alcoholics as wife beaters when that is far from the case. Like I said I have been through this with a number of people who have ruined their lives because of alcohol but never laid a hand on anyone in their family, so it is pretty fucking offensive for you to refer to alcoholics as wife beaters and saying AA is worthless.

Dork.

Really?

cowboypjfan

dw

_

Wow - this conversation sure took a strange turn. :?

For the record, my friend's husband has never laid a hand on her and he never would. He's a wonderful man - which is why she's stayed with him these many years - but he has a problem. And when he's "off the wagon" he's completely irresponsible & impossible to rationally communicate with, which is why their marriage suffers & why she won't have kids with him. He thinks he can beat this problem all on his own, but he can't. She would give anything for him to join AA. I don't know why it's validity would even be in question.

mickeyrat

scb wrote:

Wow - this conversation sure took a strange turn. :?

For the record, my friend's husband has never laid a hand on her and he never would. He's a wonderful man - which is why she's stayed with him these many years - but he has a problem. And when he's "off the wagon" he's completely irresponsible & impossible to rationally communicate with, which is why their marriage suffers & why she won't have kids with him. He thinks he can beat this problem all on his own, but he can't. She would give anything for him to join AA. I don't know why it's validity would even be in question.

scb , this suggestion may have got lost in the turn the thread took. So, I'll suggest it again. She might find some relief for herself in alanon. If nothing else she can find some people who are in a similar situation and who understand what she goes through. It's REAL difficult to live with us , much less love us. Good luck to her.

mfc2006

one of my best friends is in AA & has recently started drinking again "in moderation"...not a good idea. he was on shaky ground to begin with (with his health, wife, friends & family), and i fear that this may cause him to lose some--or all--of his life as knows it. from what i know, it's a very slippery slope & i hope that he re-enters the program. his wife is going to Al-Anon & I think that's helped her a bit. so, i'd agree with those statements about not drinking in moderation & going to Al-Anon.

and to crazypjfan....i'm sorry that you've had to witness some of the effects of alcoholism, but that doesn't give you any reason to be cold & callous or to make broad generalizations. it seems like you need to re-evaluate your morals and use the standard advice of "think before you speak."

Red Mosquito75

First off alcoholism is a disease just like any other disease. Domestic violence is inexcusable and alcoholism is no excuse for it. To bunch alcoholics with domestic vioence is stupid. An alcoholic cannot drink in moderation...Maybe they think they can control it for a period of time but eventually it will get out of hand. There is also no excuse for stupidity. Don't talk about something unless you know the facts. One must hit there bottom before they can really give it all up.

cowboypjfan

qw

mickeyrat

crazypjfan wrote:

Alcohol availability is closely related to violent assaults. Communities and neighborhoods that have more bars and liquor stores per capita experience more assaults. 1

• Alcohol use is frequently associated with violence between intimate partners. Two-thirds of victims of intimate partner violence reported that alcohol was involved in the incident. 2

• In one study of interpersonal violence, men had been drinking in an estimated 45 percent of cases and women had been drinking in 20 percent of cases. 3

• Women whose partners abused alcohol were 3.6 times more likely than other women to be assaulted by their partners. 4

• In 1997, 40 percent of convicted rape and sexual assault offenders said that they were drinking at the time of their crime. 5

• In 2002, more than 70,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 were victims of alcohol-related sexual assault in the U.S. 6

• In those violent incidents recorded by the police in which alcohol was a factor, about nine percent of the offenders and nearly 14 percent of the victims were under age 21. 7

• Twenty-eight percent of suicides by children ages nine to 15 were attributable to alcohol. 8

• An estimated 480,000 children are mistreated each year by a caretaker with alcohol problems. 9

So from your first post in this thread to this , you say fuck the one program that has PROVEN (if only anecdotal proof) to help people who CANNOT control their drinking to not drink. And cannot or will not offer up another solution that would help these people not drink.

What IS your deal, exactly?

mfc2006

unbelievable. your ignorance is noticeable and sad.