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Question for the recovering alcoholics

__ Posts: 6,651
edited February 2010 in All Encompassing Trip
Is there ever a point in your recovery when you "drink in moderation"? Or is it important/necessary to give it up 100%?
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • mikalinamikalina Posts: 7,206
    According to AA, an alcoholic can never, never drink again!! I know this because my cousin has battled this problem his entire life. Good luck.
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  • __ Posts: 6,651
    edited February 2010
    mikalina wrote:
    According to AA, an alcoholic can never, never drink again!! I know this because my cousin has battled this problem his entire life. Good luck.

    Thanks! I'm not asking for myself. I'm wondering because of my friend's husband, who gave it up for 4 months and is now telling her that he started drinking again because he feels he can drink in moderation, but she thinks he's full of shit and needs to give it up 100%. His drinking has been a huge problem in their marriage for over 10 years and is the reason they don't have kids, despite the fact that they both want them. :(

    ETA: I just wanted to double-check that she's not being too hard on him.
    Post edited by _ on
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    scb wrote:
    mikalina wrote:
    According to AA, an alcoholic can never, never drink again!! I know this because my cousin has battled this problem his entire life. Good luck.

    Thanks! I'm not asking for myself. I'm wondering because of my friend's husband, who gave it up for 4 months and is now telling her that he started drinking again because he feels he can drink in moderation, but she thinks he's full of shit and needs to give it up 100%. His drinking has been a huge problem in their marriage for over 10 years and is the reason they don't have kids, despite the fact that they both want them. :(


    he can't... addiction can't be turned off or controlled... every alcoholic will say they can drink in moderation... i don't think i've ever seen it

    oh and i'm not an alcoholic but have friends that are and i've discussed this with them...you friends husband needs to get help if his drinking is affecting his and others lives
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    norm wrote:
    scb wrote:
    mikalina wrote:
    According to AA, an alcoholic can never, never drink again!! I know this because my cousin has battled this problem his entire life. Good luck.

    Thanks! I'm not asking for myself. I'm wondering because of my friend's husband, who gave it up for 4 months and is now telling her that he started drinking again because he feels he can drink in moderation, but she thinks he's full of shit and needs to give it up 100%. His drinking has been a huge problem in their marriage for over 10 years and is the reason they don't have kids, despite the fact that they both want them. :(


    he can't... addiction can't be turned off or controlled... every alcoholic will say they can drink in moderation... i don't think i've ever seen it

    oh and i'm not an alcoholic but have friends that are and i've discussed this with them...you friends husband needs to get help if his drinking is affecting his and others lives

    Thanks. I agree that he needs help. But he won't get it. Sometimes he admits that he has a problem but says he'll kick it on his own. Other times he says he doesn't have a problem and/or that he'll just drink in moderation and that's okay. It's so sad. It's really ruining their lives. :cry:
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,979
    norm wrote:
    scb wrote:
    mikalina wrote:
    According to AA, an alcoholic can never, never drink again!! I know this because my cousin has battled this problem his entire life. Good luck.

    Thanks! I'm not asking for myself. I'm wondering because of my friend's husband, who gave it up for 4 months and is now telling her that he started drinking again because he feels he can drink in moderation, but she thinks he's full of shit and needs to give it up 100%. His drinking has been a huge problem in their marriage for over 10 years and is the reason they don't have kids, despite the fact that they both want them. :(


    he can't... addiction can't be turned off or controlled... every alcoholic will say they can drink in moderation... i don't think i've ever seen it

    oh and i'm not an alcoholic but have friends that are and i've discussed this with them...you friends husband needs to get help if his drinking is affecting his and others lives
    Well, I AM an alcoholic and what Norms friends have said is true. That thought has to be banished from the brain , that we can drink as a "normal" people can. I can state with certainty that until HE sees that he can't AND needs help to not drink, nothing she can really do but protect herself. You might suggest to her that she look into Alanon. Could help her even if he still drinks. Good luck to her.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • MookieBfan01MookieBfan01 Posts: 15
    I second mickeyrat! 5 1/2yrs sober & I still battle the addiction EVERY day. Good friends,family & a desire to never return to that life gets me through.
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,979
    MookieBfan01 wrote:
    I second mickeyrat! 5 1/2yrs sober & I still battle the addiction EVERY day. Good friends,family & a desire to never return to that life gets me through.
    8-) Rock on!!!!!!
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    aaaa
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,979
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Fuck AA. You can either control it or you can't. Don't give me this shit that you need to talk with a room full of alky's to deal with it. BULL!
    right. I can't. AA has worked for me going on 4 years. There's your bullshit.

    If one can't control it , then what? Drink themselves to death? What is the solution if AA is bullshit?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    mickeyrat wrote:
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Fuck AA. You can either control it or you can't. Don't give me this shit that you need to talk with a room full of alky's to deal with it. BULL!
    right. I can't. AA has worked for me going on 4 years. There's your bullshit.

    If one can't control it , then what? Drink themselves to death? What is the solution if AA is bullshit?


    don't bother mick...i don't think there's a lot of maturity and intellect there...best to just let it go ;)
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    bump
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,979
    norm wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Fuck AA. You can either control it or you can't. Don't give me this shit that you need to talk with a room full of alky's to deal with it. BULL!
    right. I can't. AA has worked for me going on 4 years. There's your bullshit.

    If one can't control it , then what? Drink themselves to death? What is the solution if AA is bullshit?


    don't bother mick...i don't think there's a lot of maturity and intellect there...best to just let it go ;)
    I know. But still , I'm always interested to hear of other "solutions" . Won't change MY membership in AA. We don't claim the only way to get and stay sober. Just claim what works for us.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,979
    crazypjfan wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Fuck AA. You can either control it or you can't. Don't give me this shit that you need to talk with a room full of alky's to deal with it. BULL!
    right. I can't. AA has worked for me going on 4 years. There's your bullshit.

    If one can't control it , then what? Drink themselves to death? What is the solution if AA is bullshit?

    Thats your CHOICE dude.
    Choice to what? If one can't control and drinks obsessively where is the choice in that?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    aa
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • mookeywrenchmookeywrench Posts: 5,940
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Choice to what? If one can't control and drinks obsessively where is the choice in that?

    You're trying to rationalize with irrational people
    350x700px-LL-d2f49cb4_vinyl-needle-scu-e1356666258495.jpeg
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,979
    mookeywrench wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Choice to what? If one can't control and drinks obsessively where is the choice in that?

    You're trying to rationalize with irrational people
    Well he or she IS entitled to their opinion. Did hope to hear of another solution that works. AA isn't for everybody. Be nice to pass that "other" solution on for those folks that do want to get/stay sober but not in AA.

    Guess it is easier to just slam something than offer another way.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Cliffy6745Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,923
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Fuck AA. You can either control it or you can't. Don't give me this shit that you need to talk with a room full of alky's to deal with it. BULL!

    Man, you're a real jerkoff. Its a fucking disease you cold motherfucker. I have seen a few too many people battle this and other addictions to put up with some bullshit like this. This goes for all your comments, not just this.
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    ;);)
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • Cliffy6745Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,923
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Cliffy6745 wrote:
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Fuck AA. You can either control it or you can't. Don't give me this shit that you need to talk with a room full of alky's to deal with it. BULL!

    Man, you're a real jerkoff. Its a fucking disease you cold motherfucker. I have seen a few too many people battle this and other addictions to put up with some bullshit like this. This goes for all your comments, not just this.

    What comments are you talking about?

    About beating their wife. That's as low class as it comes.
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    aaa
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • Cliffy6745Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,923
    crazypjfan wrote:

    I have seen or heard enough about alcoholics doing this and am fed up with it. I am entitled to my opinion and won't stand for that type of behavior, regardless of the disease factor. Sorry if I have had some former friends engage in this act and feel bitter about it.

    Sorry you have had to experience that but its pretty shitty to sterotype an entire group of people for the mistakes of a few that you knew. There are a lot of good people that have a serious problem.
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    aa
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    aa
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • Cliffy6745Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,923
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Cliffy6745 wrote:

    About beating their wife. That's as low class as it comes.

    So as long as they admit they are alcoholic, it becomes ok that a woman has been beaten or others have been hurt because of their behavior?

    No one is justifying any domestic abuse and I unlike you have never experienced this situation due to alcoholism. I have seen how low it can bring a number of people but I have not experienced domestic abuse and would never excuse it.
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    aa
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • mookeywrenchmookeywrench Posts: 5,940
    you really think you didn't stereotype alcoholics?
    350x700px-LL-d2f49cb4_vinyl-needle-scu-e1356666258495.jpeg
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,979
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Cliffy6745 wrote:
    crazypjfan wrote:
    What comments are you talking about?

    About beating their wife. That's as low class as it comes.

    I have seen or heard enough about alcoholics doing this and am fed up with it. I am entitled to my opinion and won't stand for that type of behavior, regardless of the disease factor. Sorry if I have had some former friends engage in this act and feel bitter about it.

    I am not trying to be cold or heartless when it comes to this topic and I am sorry if I have offended anyone.
    Well, on that note I would say that Domestic Violence isn't exclusive to alcoholics OR drug addicts. Sober or not. So am I to understand you've been just venting frustration over these "former friends"? And were they sober or still actively drinking? Suppose that doesn't matter in the big picture. The fact is that BOTH DV and alcoholism/drug addiction are deadly serious.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Cliffy6745Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,923
    crazypjfan wrote:

    Well then don't comment on it, cliffster.

    I can comment on it because you pretty much referred to all alcoholics as wife beaters when that is far from the case. Like I said I have been through this with a number of people who have ruined their lives because of alcohol but never laid a hand on anyone in their family, so it is pretty fucking offensive for you to refer to alcoholics as wife beaters and saying AA is worthless.
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,979
    crazypjfan wrote:
    Cliffy6745 wrote:

    About beating their wife. That's as low class as it comes.

    So as long as they admit they are alcoholic, it becomes ok that a woman has been beaten or others have been hurt because of their behavior?
    No. But in admitting they are alcoholic and trying to do something about it helps in them trying as best they can to make things right. As much as could be in those circumstances. Alcoholism is NO excuse for any type of behaviour. It really only explains some of it. There still is accountability and responsibility to those we've hurt.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited July 2010
    aa
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
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