Is this unreasonable?

moemoe
moemoe Posts: 72
edited February 2010 in A Moving Train
A seemingly trivial matter in the grand scheme of things, but am I wrong in backing up my kid on this? This detention was given three days into the start of the new school year.

Dear Mrs XXX

I am writing to you regarding the detention XXXX was given because she does not yet have her copy of "A Streetcar named Desire". This book has been purchased, but we are still awaiting its delivery.
The reason I am writing, is to request that XXXX be released from this detention. It is my opinion and understanding, and no doubt the opinion of most, that a detention is a disciplinary action for poor behaviour. In this instance, XXXX behaviour is not in question. In fact, XXXX has never had a detention before and has never had her behaviour at school disciplined in any way. I find it confusing at best why she would receive disciplinary action for not having possession of a book, something which is entirely beyond her control. The fact she is in Yr 11 and has never had her behaviour or conduct questioned, should be recognized and rewarded, and her flawless record in this regard should not be jeapordized by something which is no reflection of her character or conduct, but is simply a result of circumstance. As XXXX has stated to me, she has never even had a teacher " tell her off" in class, much less receive a detention. This is something XXXX is rightly very proud of, and she is quite upset about all of this.
If this was a matter of XXXX behaviour or conduct, I would have no hesitation in supporting disciplinary measures to address it. Since it is not, I would ask that XXXX be released of the lunchtime detention imposed upon her, and that her deserving "clean record" be preserved.

Sincerely

XXXX
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Pepe Silvia
    Pepe Silvia Posts: 3,758
    no, why put her in detention for that?

    but you left her name in it once
    don't compete; coexist

    what are you but my reflection? who am i to judge or strike you down?

    "I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank." - Barack Obama

    when you told me 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'
    i was thinkin 'death before dishonor'
  • moemoe
    moemoe Posts: 72
    Whoops, thanks!
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    I wish my teacher was called Mrs XXX...

    otherwise, good letter and you're quite right.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    That letter seems to be a very reasonable response to this action that was taken against your daughter.

    In my experience, if you don't attack the school administration harshly but just point out where you think they are being unreasonable, you get a better outcome for your child.

    P.s. Can you get a copy of the book from a library in the mean time?
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • cincybearcat
    cincybearcat Posts: 16,895
    Why didn't she have the book?

    I know you said it's on order, when did she know she needed the book? Are they using it now in class? Is she not keeping up with the work because she is not reading it?
    hippiemom = goodness
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    Your letter and request sound reasonable to me.

    Though, they may be trying to teach her a lesson about being responsible/prepared. I agree that detention - which, in my experience, is for behavior issues and tardiness - is not the appropriate avenue for teaching such a lesson. But I think you should be prepared for her to receive the lesson in some other form, like extra homework or a lower grade or something.

    Good luck! Let us know how it turns out.
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    well ... on the bright side ... she didn't get handcuffed and booked at the local precinct ... :?
  • moemoe
    moemoe Posts: 72
    cincybearcat wrote:
    Why didn't she have the book?

    I know you said it's on order, when did she know she needed the book? Are they using it now in class? Is she not keeping up with the work because she is not reading it?


    She doesn't have the book because we were delayed in ordering it. She and four other students in the class are still waiting for the backorder to be filled. They are using the book in class, but the detention was given three days into the start of the school year, and during the first English Lit class. I might add also, that the teacher told these four girls at first not to worry, as she had a few copies of the book she could loan them. She went to get them, and returned with one book, saying she couldn't find the others. So, one student was able to borrow the book, the other three missed out. Those three also received detention, while the fourth girl who borrowed the teachers copy did not.
    Even so, I take full responsibility for not ordering the book in time, it is not my daughters fault that she doesn't yet have it. As far as keeping up with the work, they're reading it in class and doing course work during class time, so these three girls could easily share until their own copies arrive. She's not yet received any homework for this unit so at this stage, thats not an issue either.
  • moemoe
    moemoe Posts: 72
    polaris_x wrote:
    well ... on the bright side ... she didn't get handcuffed and booked at the local precinct ... :?


    God I read about that. Farken moronic!
  • cincybearcat
    cincybearcat Posts: 16,895
    moemoe wrote:
    cincybearcat wrote:
    Why didn't she have the book?

    I know you said it's on order, when did she know she needed the book? Are they using it now in class? Is she not keeping up with the work because she is not reading it?


    She doesn't have the book because we were delayed in ordering it. She and four other students in the class are still waiting for the backorder to be filled. They are using the book in class, but the detention was given three days into the start of the school year, and during the first English Lit class. I might add also, that the teacher told these four girls at first not to worry, as she had a few copies of the book she could loan them. She went to get them, and returned with one book, saying she couldn't find the others. So, one student was able to borrow the book, the other three missed out. Those three also received detention, while the fourth girl who borrowed the teachers copy did not.
    Even so, I take full responsibility for not ordering the book in time, it is not my daughters fault that she doesn't yet have it. As far as keeping up with the work, they're reading it in class and doing course work during class time, so these three girls could easily share until their own copies arrive. She's not yet received any homework for this unit so at this stage, thats not an issue either.


    Well, if your daughter is in 11th grade (that's how I read it, I could be wrong), I wouldn't place the entire blame on yourself for not having the book in time. She does needs to have some responsibility for it.

    However, I do agree that detention seems to be a poor choice of discipline in order to "teach" these girls a lesson about taking responsibility and being prepared. Also, extremely strange that the girl that was allowed to borrow the teacher's book did not receive any discipline. How did they determine who go the book and thus got out of any discipline?

    Seems to me that other students could share while the books were ordered and the girls could do an extra assignment in order for them to understand the problem.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • Pepe Silvia
    Pepe Silvia Posts: 3,758
    is this after school detention or during class? i was in a similar situation in high school, i pissed around and thought a library would have it and i'd read it a week or so before school started and have no problems...which of course was absurd, it was out everywhere and i didn't get it for a few days so the teacher asked me to go to the library during class for the few days until i had it.
    don't compete; coexist

    what are you but my reflection? who am i to judge or strike you down?

    "I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank." - Barack Obama

    when you told me 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'
    i was thinkin 'death before dishonor'
  • brandon10
    brandon10 Posts: 1,114
    Let us know how it turns out. That's an interesting story.
  • Claireack
    Claireack Posts: 13,561
    I think the teacher was unreasonable, a warning, and a detention if she didn't have it by such and such a time but not detention straight away. Why be ok about it, then just because she didn't have the copies she thought she had give detention - sounds a bit arse about face to me.
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  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    Geez I wish people use their common sense...as long as she is doing the work, let it go
  • g under p
    g under p Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,237
    Even though your daughter is a 11 year old, when this assignment was given out did her teacher state that IF the book was not ordered on time there would be a penalty of detention? Also did you have to purchase the book or could you have gooten it from another library?

    Peace
    *We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti

    *MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
    .....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti

    *The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)


  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    I don't know- I think I would have let my child fight their own battle on this - let her take the lunch detention
    even if a little unfair- life is unfair and that might be the valuable lesson learned here. That and be prepared.
    She may be off to college soon to handle everything on her own.
  • moemoe
    moemoe Posts: 72
    g under p wrote:
    Even though your daughter is a 11 year old, when this assignment was given out did her teacher state that IF the book was not ordered on time there would be a penalty of detention? Also did you have to purchase the book or could you have gooten it from another library?

    Peace


    No, she's in Yr 11, not 11 years old. Which I suppose is what irks me. She's not some little kid who habitually forgets to bring stuff to school or anything like that. She's an emerging adult, who through circumstance does not yet have the book. Usually, by the time kids get to the senior years of schooling, they are treated more like adults, more like people, than little kids who need to be "taught a lesson". Giving a detention may deter bad bahviour in a kid who is acting up. A detention is not gonna make this book arrive in my mailbox any sooner.

    My daughter has complained about this teacher before, and her habit of saying one thing and doing another. She's been more a witness to this womans often unreasonable demands than a recipient of them, until now.

    As an aside, I've managed to get my hands on the book via an electronic library. She can freely use the book for two weeks until the hard copy arrives.
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    moemoe wrote:
    A detention is not gonna make this book arrive in my mailbox any sooner.
    Sounds like it kind of did...
    moemoe wrote:
    As an aside, I've managed to get my hands on the book via an electronic library. She can freely use the book for two weeks until the hard copy arrives.
  • Wilds
    Wilds Posts: 4,329
    scb wrote:
    moemoe wrote:
    A detention is not gonna make this book arrive in my mailbox any sooner.
    Sounds like it kind of did...
    moemoe wrote:
    As an aside, I've managed to get my hands on the book via an electronic library. She can freely use the book for two weeks until the hard copy arrives.

    ooooh burn. :D;)
  • brandon10
    brandon10 Posts: 1,114
    pandora wrote:
    I don't know- I think I would have let my child fight their own battle on this - let her take the lunch detention
    even if a little unfair- life is unfair and that might be the valuable lesson learned here. That and be prepared.
    She may be off to college soon to handle everything on her own.


    That's the kind of attitude that lets people get away with keeping things unfair. I say teach your child to fight the power.

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