Is this unreasonable?
moemoe
Posts: 72
A seemingly trivial matter in the grand scheme of things, but am I wrong in backing up my kid on this? This detention was given three days into the start of the new school year.
Dear Mrs XXX
I am writing to you regarding the detention XXXX was given because she does not yet have her copy of "A Streetcar named Desire". This book has been purchased, but we are still awaiting its delivery.
The reason I am writing, is to request that XXXX be released from this detention. It is my opinion and understanding, and no doubt the opinion of most, that a detention is a disciplinary action for poor behaviour. In this instance, XXXX behaviour is not in question. In fact, XXXX has never had a detention before and has never had her behaviour at school disciplined in any way. I find it confusing at best why she would receive disciplinary action for not having possession of a book, something which is entirely beyond her control. The fact she is in Yr 11 and has never had her behaviour or conduct questioned, should be recognized and rewarded, and her flawless record in this regard should not be jeapordized by something which is no reflection of her character or conduct, but is simply a result of circumstance. As XXXX has stated to me, she has never even had a teacher " tell her off" in class, much less receive a detention. This is something XXXX is rightly very proud of, and she is quite upset about all of this.
If this was a matter of XXXX behaviour or conduct, I would have no hesitation in supporting disciplinary measures to address it. Since it is not, I would ask that XXXX be released of the lunchtime detention imposed upon her, and that her deserving "clean record" be preserved.
Sincerely
XXXX
Dear Mrs XXX
I am writing to you regarding the detention XXXX was given because she does not yet have her copy of "A Streetcar named Desire". This book has been purchased, but we are still awaiting its delivery.
The reason I am writing, is to request that XXXX be released from this detention. It is my opinion and understanding, and no doubt the opinion of most, that a detention is a disciplinary action for poor behaviour. In this instance, XXXX behaviour is not in question. In fact, XXXX has never had a detention before and has never had her behaviour at school disciplined in any way. I find it confusing at best why she would receive disciplinary action for not having possession of a book, something which is entirely beyond her control. The fact she is in Yr 11 and has never had her behaviour or conduct questioned, should be recognized and rewarded, and her flawless record in this regard should not be jeapordized by something which is no reflection of her character or conduct, but is simply a result of circumstance. As XXXX has stated to me, she has never even had a teacher " tell her off" in class, much less receive a detention. This is something XXXX is rightly very proud of, and she is quite upset about all of this.
If this was a matter of XXXX behaviour or conduct, I would have no hesitation in supporting disciplinary measures to address it. Since it is not, I would ask that XXXX be released of the lunchtime detention imposed upon her, and that her deserving "clean record" be preserved.
Sincerely
XXXX
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but you left her name in it once
what are you but my reflection? who am i to judge or strike you down?
"I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank." - Barack Obama
when you told me 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'
i was thinkin 'death before dishonor'
otherwise, good letter and you're quite right.
In my experience, if you don't attack the school administration harshly but just point out where you think they are being unreasonable, you get a better outcome for your child.
P.s. Can you get a copy of the book from a library in the mean time?
I know you said it's on order, when did she know she needed the book? Are they using it now in class? Is she not keeping up with the work because she is not reading it?
Though, they may be trying to teach her a lesson about being responsible/prepared. I agree that detention - which, in my experience, is for behavior issues and tardiness - is not the appropriate avenue for teaching such a lesson. But I think you should be prepared for her to receive the lesson in some other form, like extra homework or a lower grade or something.
Good luck! Let us know how it turns out.
She doesn't have the book because we were delayed in ordering it. She and four other students in the class are still waiting for the backorder to be filled. They are using the book in class, but the detention was given three days into the start of the school year, and during the first English Lit class. I might add also, that the teacher told these four girls at first not to worry, as she had a few copies of the book she could loan them. She went to get them, and returned with one book, saying she couldn't find the others. So, one student was able to borrow the book, the other three missed out. Those three also received detention, while the fourth girl who borrowed the teachers copy did not.
Even so, I take full responsibility for not ordering the book in time, it is not my daughters fault that she doesn't yet have it. As far as keeping up with the work, they're reading it in class and doing course work during class time, so these three girls could easily share until their own copies arrive. She's not yet received any homework for this unit so at this stage, thats not an issue either.
God I read about that. Farken moronic!
Well, if your daughter is in 11th grade (that's how I read it, I could be wrong), I wouldn't place the entire blame on yourself for not having the book in time. She does needs to have some responsibility for it.
However, I do agree that detention seems to be a poor choice of discipline in order to "teach" these girls a lesson about taking responsibility and being prepared. Also, extremely strange that the girl that was allowed to borrow the teacher's book did not receive any discipline. How did they determine who go the book and thus got out of any discipline?
Seems to me that other students could share while the books were ordered and the girls could do an extra assignment in order for them to understand the problem.
what are you but my reflection? who am i to judge or strike you down?
"I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank." - Barack Obama
when you told me 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'
i was thinkin 'death before dishonor'
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
even if a little unfair- life is unfair and that might be the valuable lesson learned here. That and be prepared.
She may be off to college soon to handle everything on her own.
No, she's in Yr 11, not 11 years old. Which I suppose is what irks me. She's not some little kid who habitually forgets to bring stuff to school or anything like that. She's an emerging adult, who through circumstance does not yet have the book. Usually, by the time kids get to the senior years of schooling, they are treated more like adults, more like people, than little kids who need to be "taught a lesson". Giving a detention may deter bad bahviour in a kid who is acting up. A detention is not gonna make this book arrive in my mailbox any sooner.
My daughter has complained about this teacher before, and her habit of saying one thing and doing another. She's been more a witness to this womans often unreasonable demands than a recipient of them, until now.
As an aside, I've managed to get my hands on the book via an electronic library. She can freely use the book for two weeks until the hard copy arrives.
ooooh burn.
That's the kind of attitude that lets people get away with keeping things unfair. I say teach your child to fight the power.
Touche`!!
Your daughter should now ask for the new iPad when it comes out and she can get digital copies instantly to her device.
Seriously though, do schools no longer provide required reading?
Good luck with your issue.
That wasn't my intention. I just meant to point out that maybe the teacher uses this method because it works.
Schools don't have the money to buy books for the kids. Seriously.
No matter where you stand on the political spectrum I think quality education is something everyone agrees on.
What's that saying? "It will be a good day in America when schools have all the money they need and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber."
It isn't like the teachers are making a killing either.
Amazing how much of a different education one receives if it is private over public.
Well, in Australian high schools ( public or private ) all text books, uniforms (Compulsory)and stationary are paid for by the parents. And even if yer kids are in a public school, the parents get to pay school fees too!! Marginal true, but fee's nonetheless. Incidentally, she goes to a private school.