A personal matter

OffHeGoes29

I don't want to give the wrong idea though, my parents are good people who made bad choices when they were younger. I have a good adult relationship with them now, and talk to the both of them a couple of times during the week. I've since talked about things with them and got over a lot of stuff.

I don't mean to get cheezy here, but its like the kid on the inside is scared, alone, and sad still. He gets that way even more so when I'm in a relationship, making irrational moves and needy towards who I date and those feelings come back to when I was 10 and when my mom took off. I don't mean to sound like I have a split personality, but more of a metaphore.

81

moral of the story....just plan on taking care of yourself. it's easier that way.

Lizardjam

I don't get the wanting a relationship with a parent that wasn't there or really isn't interested. My dad left when I was little and I've never longed to meet him, see him, speak with him. I don't even feel anger, I simply just don't care. There could be many reasons why this is but at the end of the day, I just don't feel like anything is missing parentwise. However, I know my relationships with men are different because i lacked that relationship with my father.

I think you should go to therapy, which i think you said you did...and insight is all well and good but it doesn't do any good unless you learn tools to help you deal with the things you think you do wrong, or against yourself or relationships. It's one thing to understand that you're doing it, and what you're doing, it's another to know how to actually change it or try to do it differently.


And as hard as it is to accept....you can't rely on any member of the family to help you with this. As much as they love you, you have to do it yourself. No words from them will change it.