Am I being realistic or selling myself short?

blondieblue227

pearljgirl2010
Yes. The first time I did that surfing thing I was either smiling or on the edge of crying for the entire day. Those people helping out like that, really touched my heart. Thanks for all the kind comments about the video!

do what you need to do to be happy. If the biggest issue with your guy is the work aspect, then that's pretty damn good Maybe it's something that the two of you can work on together...we all have our issues, able-bodied or not, and this is something that seems like you can overcome, and I hope you do!!!!

that’s what I think too. It could be worse. He has the same job for quite a while. It’s just I’m worried about his motivation level if he looses it because of what’s happened in the past. He says I can’t hold that against him for the rest of his life and he’s right.
That’s an issue for me and I’m guessing a lot of people.
You make judgments on what you’ve experienced in your life. Sometimes your past is crappy and it ruins you for the future.

Wow. All of my PJ peeps posts are heart felt. I really appreciate you talking it out with me.

I don’t like that term. Settling. It’s got an icky feel to it. nobody’s perfect. I don’t like it when people judge and say ew, she’s settling. If you always think you’re settling nobody will be your ideal mate you will be alone. And when others think you’re settling it makes you defensive and you can’t think about the relationship with a clear head. Often I find myself upset and start complaining to him and I say hold on, am I upset on my own or because of what somebody else said to me about us?
Settling...na uh, don’t like that term at all.

As I said before as women we want more, and more. Why is that? Why can’t we happy with what we have?
I really like what claireeak said.
There’s always going to be some kind of problem. That’s how life works. As Claire said how you work it out, is what matters.
And recently I feel like we have a good communication line going. So that’s reassuring. He just left. We had a really good talk.

My favorite quote about chocolate is
Forget falling in love, I rather fall in chocolate!


‘…...if it’s something you want to try (dating) then you’re selling yourself short.’

Well, I don’t want to date based on my disability. I just don’t want to even go there.
If I had no disability who knows, I’d might want to try.
‘don’t let your disability stand in the way’
well I’m not going to deny the power/effect my disability has either, that wouldn’t be being true to myself.
a quote that comes to mind:
The eyes of others are our prisons; their thoughts our cages. - Virginia Woolf
but it's sad. based on what has happened to me in the dating game is i've seemed to have put all men the same box because i don't want to feel any more rejected than i already have been in my life.
but i'm sure all dating women have that fear.



its ok iammine.
best of luck to you!

81

you should send that vid to ED, he might surf you up on stage for a song. then all the boys would want you.

IamMine

81 wrote:

you should send that vid to ED, he might surf you up on stage for a song. then all the boys would want you.

That just might work! But probably good enough for a "quickie"... seems to me that's what you are looking for, Blondie? The impression I'm getting is that you are wanting to be physically attracted?

You beat me to it, 81.... I was just thinking about the "right" networking type for the dating to occur.

Blondie...I'm not sure if this story (you know me...everyone else proceed to eyerolling and feel free to ignore me ) would relate to what you are dealing with.

I didn't date much...I can tell you how many times I've dated with my hands and it's not even all the fingers. Three boyfriends, the last one I married. Yes, *I* married him. He asked me to marry him twice and I turned him down prior to my marrying him.

It's not because of my so-called disability...but because I'm picky. It's ALL or NONE. hehe, seriously. I told Bobby I got really lucky that i found him, because he's everything I want and more. But I don't know if he's that lucky, though...I can be challenging.

I was afraid I'd end up like my mother. i love my mother dearly and always adored her growing up....but she always fell for the first man who showed interest in her and bam, they're living together. I was determined not to tie love and sex together.

If I were single, would I be coming here for dating? Fuck no. Nor will it be in the other community, it would be a long story on why.

But...in college, I was friends with this hot guy who was everything - hot (did I mention that already), SMART, responsible, hot body, rich, had his own dorm and his Italian family owned several restaurants in NY.

I dated him because I felt comfortable with him since he had been around the campus for 2 years so he was already exposed to different people and of course, I was physically attracted to him. Everything seemed to be perfect about him...even if he wasn't rich.

Except....that I found out he had a small dick! OMG....that totally fucked up everything. I could not see a future with him and staying loyal to him. I would have to cheat on him to satisfy my needs and I couldn't do that to him. it wasn't fair to either of us.

So I ended our relationship and he asked why....I couldn't tell him the truth, it would crush him. So I pulled the "it's not you, it's me." :P I was telling the truth...just on my behalf.

Anyway...it's easy to get put off and say people won't find you attractive because of your disability, but it's finding people who are used to being around you and there might be one out there who would find you just as attractive as you him.

dimitrispearljam

first of all i love your video and your smile!!!!awesome..
when it comes to relationship,i always say is a want matter,not a should,
my opinion is to figure out what u want..how u feel the whole inside.
and up of all,love...if u still love him with all your gats,keep trying..
fight,try harder to move him..
but if u doubt about your feelings,u must see that,,to search..inside u ,u will find the voice to tell u what to do
and choose this..
whats the best for u....

p.s.mom(parents in general) always want the best for their children..
but most of the times,they dont have a fuckin clue whats that...

blondieblue227

p.s.mom(parents in general) always want the best for their children..
but most of the times,they dont have a fuckin clue whats that...

lol! i like that!
parents just want their kid to be happy. but what is happiness anyway? that's how i look at it.
i would call my feeling at this time as cranky, not as unhappy.
i was unhappy when he didn't have a job for 8 months! lol!


WHAT DO YOU WANT?
hehehe sounds like The Notebook. one of my favs! PS. i'd do anything ryan gosling WANTS anyday. hehehe
but really, that is THE question.
brian my guy was a point.........ivy you always want. i do this. it's good. than you want that. it's frustrating for him and i understand why.
so i know what i want now, but later on down the road the guys gotta be open to new demands? that's not the right word, demands. and it seems unfair. but life is always changing, it requires new things.


mel

You know.......right before I did surfing for the first time I posted about it here. something like Eddie would be proud was the title.
Lol!
Again, I got a lot of support from this board.

Yes I remember you telling me about that dick. He was using you all the way. I’m glad you wised up to it.
I’ve told brian a billion times I don’t want to feel like you’re using me. I won’t have it. so lets see if he does something, motivation-wise. Yesterday he sounded like he had some good plans, hope he follows thru.

The small member fellow? Was that the same guy?!

You’re right. I’m playing it safe. I’m wussing out. Thou I may start talking to a couple guys with disabilities on the net in the near future. My friend knows them and i passing my name along.

IamMine

no that wasn't the same guy. :P the REAL dick was in high school. LMAO.... this guy in college...he was a real gentleman.

Popular girls gasped when they heard I was going out with him and then dumping him the very next week...and all ran up to him. :P He was hard to get and they couldn't believe that such an unpopular girl could easily get him.

Of course I never told anyone why... would damage his reputation for sure. He eventually found the right girl who he also ended up marrying and having kids. Living the american dream and all that shit... just not for me.

I know we women can be challenging for our men at times, putting them to test a lot... Bobby put up with me a lot over the years...I changed a lot and he went along with it. God bless that man!

IamMine

blondieblue227 wrote:

mel

You know.......right before I did surfing for the first time I posted about it here. something like Eddie would be proud was the title.
Lol!
Again, I got a lot of support from this board.

I really wish I saw that...and would have supported you too. Funny how I didn't pay attention to a lot of things here on the board... :roll: My loss. :P

That is very cool!

blondieblue227

Ohhh. High school that’s right. Luckily this guy was a gentleman so there was no urge to blab his secret. Lol!

Changes.
I heard a cool thing about that once.
In relationships people change. It’s rather if you’re mate can change with you at the same rate.

Oh don’t worry about it! I think I posted it here on the All Encompassing Trip category. I don’t even check here that often. Just when I get bored. Or need advice!