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Shit My Dad Says

normnorm Posts: 31,146
edited May 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
"No. Tell ‘em we’re not doing Christmas dinner at a casino … Don’t be an ass about it, but tell them why it’s a fucking stupid idea."

:lol::lol:

this is some funny shit! :mrgreen:

http://shitmydadsays.tumblr.com/
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Digital TwilightDigital Twilight Posts: 5,642
    "A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face… My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."
  • youngsteryoungster Boston Posts: 6,576
    I was just reading through some of these and lauging my ass off.

    "I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    "I'm just gonna be me and they can go fuck themselves...Don't care, that's the only attitude you can have when you go to the DMV."
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    Did you know you can become a "fan" on Facebook? :D
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    these are great.

    I liked this one a whole lot.


    "Everybody’s broke, so here’s the rule for Christmas this year: if you still shit your pants, you get a present. Otherwise tough shit."


    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    "Fine, let’s take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner? … Yeah, democracy ain’t so fun when it fucks you, huh?"
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    "Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn’t invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • PJPixiePJPixie Posts: 3,026
    That is some good stuff!
    The best use of Life is Love.
    The best expression of Love is Time.
    The best time to Love is Now.


    I'm never as good as when you're there.........
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    "I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."
  • mensanemensane Posts: 912
    supposedly they are making a tv show based on these posts...
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    "We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    "I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."

    I see myself using this one sometime soon...and then getting slapped for it. :P
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • GTFLYGIRLGTFLYGIRL NewYork Posts: 760
    you can also join shit my dad says on facebook....
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    dcfaithful wrote:
    "I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."

    I see myself using this one sometime soon...and then getting slapped for it. :P


    the ladies should take note of this one ;):mrgreen:

    *ducks whatever is being thrown at me* :P
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    norm wrote:
    dcfaithful wrote:
    "I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."

    I see myself using this one sometime soon...and then getting slapped for it. :P


    the ladies should take note of this one ;):mrgreen:

    *ducks whatever is being thrown at me* :P

    Don't worry norm, I'll catch whatever it is...that is if I can stop nodding in agreement in enough time....

    *ducks as well*
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • jimed14jimed14 Posts: 9,488
    oh no ... I say shit like this ...

    "You sure do like to tailgate people… Right, because it’s real important you show up to the nothing you have to do on time."
    "You're one of the few Red Sox fans I don't mind." - Newch91

    "I don't believe in damn curses. Wake up the damn Bambino and have me face him. Maybe I'll drill him in the ass." --- Pedro Martinez
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    dcfaithful wrote:
    "I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."

    I see myself using this one sometime soon...and then getting slapped for it. :P

    I love this one.
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • AusticmanAusticman Posts: 1,327
    "Do these announcers ever shut the fuck up? Don’t ever say stuff just because you think you should. That’s the definition of an asshole." :lol::lol::lol:

    Love it!!

    Edit:

    "I’m sitting in one of those TGI Friday’s places, and everyone looks like they want to shove a shotgun in their mouth." :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    I can't go the library anymore, everyone STINKS!!
  • FifthelementFifthelement Lotusland Posts: 6,963

    I swear my dad said this to me last week over the phone :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    "Mom and I saw a great movie last night . . . No, don’t remember the name. It was about a guy or, no, wait . . . fuck, getting old sucks."

    I like this one ;):D
    "Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later that it’s because it fucked you."
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    "No presents goddamit. I'm turning 74. I don't need you to commemorate that with a fucking Barnes and Noble gift card."
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 41,149
    The dog don’t like you planting stuff there. It’s his backyard. If you’re the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • FlaggFlagg Posts: 5,856
    norm wrote:
    "No presents goddamit. I'm turning 74. I don't need you to commemorate that with a fucking Barnes and Noble gift card."

    LOL! My dad right there. He's 68 and never wants another birthday present again.
    DAL-7/5/98,10/17/00,6/9/03,11/15/13
    BOS-9/28/04,9/29/04,6/28/08,6/30/08, 9/5/16, 9/7/16, 9/2/18
    MTL-9/15/05, OTT-9/16/05
    PHL-5/27/06,5/28/06,10/30/09,10/31/09
    CHI-8/2/07,8/5/07,8/23/09,8/24/09
    HTFD-6/27/08
    ATX-10/4/09, 10/12/14
    KC-5/3/2010,STL-5/4/2010
    Bridge School-10/23/2010,10/24/2010
    PJ20-9/3/2011,9/4/2011
    OKC-11/16/13
    SEA-12/6/13
    TUL-10/8/14
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    "The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain’t spitting it out."

    :lol::lol:
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • FenwayFaithfulFenwayFaithful Posts: 8,626
    Good stuff norm. This site is f'n hilarious.
    "FF, I've heard the droning about the Sawx being the baby dolls. Yeah, I get it, you guys invented baseball and suffered forever. I get it." -JearlPam0925
  • facepollutionfacepollution Posts: 6,834
    the wolf wrote:
    "Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn’t invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

    Brilliant! One for Iphone users the world over!
  • facepollutionfacepollution Posts: 6,834
    "I just did an hour on the gym machine. I'm sweaty and I have to shit. Where's my fannypack, this workout is over."
  • jimed14jimed14 Posts: 9,488
    Today's post ...

    "Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."

    :lol:
    "You're one of the few Red Sox fans I don't mind." - Newch91

    "I don't believe in damn curses. Wake up the damn Bambino and have me face him. Maybe I'll drill him in the ass." --- Pedro Martinez
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    "No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    "Common sense is a helluvafuckinlot less common than it should be. Too many damn idiots out there."


    :clap::clap::clap:
  • Yellow LedbellyYellow Ledbelly Posts: 3,749
    norm wrote:
    "No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."
    I think this is my favorite one...
    All I have to do is revel in the everyday....then do it again tomorrow

    They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
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