I lost the woman of my dreams

petrocspetrocs Posts: 4,342
edited January 2010 in All Encompassing Trip
I lost her and her 2 beautiful children 3 weeks ago. I've been suffering the worst loss I've felt since my brother Joe died. She doesnt want to speak to me anymore and I feel my hearts been ripped out of my chest. I feel like I screwed up. She was such a beautiful person and I loved those kids like they were my own. We were engaged to be married in June and we broke it off due to some problems we were having. We got back together in July and I thought we would make it work...it was a struggle and in the end it was just more fighting. 3 weeks ago she had had enough and ended it with me. I haven't been able to speak to her since. Last night she called and layed into me and told me she didn't love me, the kids didn't love me and that they were just going to forget that I ever existed. I've never felt so much pain.
I love those 3 more than life. I would give up everything I am and everything I know for them. I made my mistakes..I'm not perfect. I was ready and willing to change on a dime. I was hoping for another chance..but now I don't think it will come. I'm lost. I feel like no one will ever love me again. I hate myself and I don't want to go on another day without them. I need a miracle in the worst way. I cant cry another tear..its hurt too much. Tonight I suggest you hug your girlfriend, fiance, wife, daughter, son and tell them how much you love them. I hope none of you ever have to go through the pain I've gone through this holiday.
Thats all I can say.I have nothing left..
Shows:
9/24/96 MD. 9/28/96 Randalls. 8/28-29/98 Camden. 9/8/98 NJ. 9/18/98 MD. 9/1-2/00 Camden. 9/4/00 MD. 4/28/03 Philly. 7/5-6/03 Camden. 9/30/05 AC.
10/3/05 Philly. 5/27-28/06 Camden. 6/23/06 Pitt. 6/19-20/08 Camden. 6/24/08 MSG. 8/7/08 EV Newark, NJ. 6/11-12/09 EV Philly, PA. 10/27-28-30-31/09 Philly, PA., 5/15/10 Hartford,5/17/10 Boston, 5/18/10 Newark, 5/20-21/10 MSG
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Comments

  • upina2001upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    :cry:
    sorry to hear about it.
    just throw on "thumbing my way" and you'll realize, "no matter how cold the winter, theres a springtime ahead."

    Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)

  • coachchriscoachchris Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada Posts: 749
    Hang in there man. "Can't rain all the time" ;)
    Adolescence in essence is all about trust.
    Leaving is for the answering machine.
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    hang in there bud. I know it sounds stupid, but that's all you can do is just hang in there. Remind yourself to breath, remind that you need to eat, remind yourself that you are still alive. I've been through it with the ex wife. and right now I'm having some problems with the person that pulled me out of all that, my gf. I am hoping things will be alright , but I feel lost.

    remind yourself to just keep living, and one day it just wont hurt as much.


    good luck.


    -steve
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • Heatherj43Heatherj43 Posts: 1,254
    I promise you that if you let go of this girl, a door will open and you will find even a deeper love. I am so sorry to hear about your loss now. But, I know you will end up okay and better in love as a result.
    Save room for dessert!
  • youngsteryoungster Boston Posts: 6,576
    This sucks man. I feel for you. Tomorrow is a New Year and the future is unclear. I hope that everything turns out for the better and you find you're way out of the hole your in. Losing a love is never easy but everything happens for a reason. Keep you're head up my friend.
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,484
    Keep your head up....things will turn around.
    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
  • FifthelementFifthelement Lotusland Posts: 6,963
    (((HUGS))) Sorry that you are going through a shit time right now :cry:

    Hold on to the thread . . .
    The currents will shift . . .

    Hold tight the ring . . .
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    I really feel for you, hang on in there!

    {hug} from the UK
  • BhagavadGitaBhagavadGita Posts: 1,748
    I also lost the man of my dreams. :cry:

    It's friggin painful. You feel like there is no purpose for you and that in the end you will carry around that love in your heart forever, and yes, you might. It's also very normal to have feelings so intense that you just don't feel like going on. I'm right there with you.

    It seems like fate can be so cruel sometimes, but as someone mentioned about the window opening, there just may be someone more amazing than you ever imagined coming into you life.

    We do have to let go if we love someone. Personally her attack on you and the hateful words she spit at you makes me feel like she was not it. "The One" would never do that. "The One" (and there are many) will find you someday and show you the love you always deserved.

    Until then friend, wake up everyday, one day at a time, breath and know that you are worth something. You are a miracle.

    Always remember, your lady is still on this planet. She has not gone anywhere. She is alive and safe. Wish her well. Wish her happiness. The results from that come back at you a thousand fold. You never know what the future holds.

    PM me if you would like to talk some more. I'm challenged to live with depression so I would love to listen if you need an ear.

    I'm sending you some light today to help your aching heart.
  • so sad this man..ok..dont have alot to say..but life is a circle//u will find your day..keep on man,all will be ok soon,time is the best doctor..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • rhcpjam1029rhcpjam1029 Posts: 1,981
    really sorry man.
    Beavis: All my friends are brown and red? What does that mean?
    Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
    Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
    Butthead: Huh huh.
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    Heatherj43 wrote:
    I promise you that if you let go of this girl, a door will open and you will find even a deeper love. I am so sorry to hear about your loss now. But, I know you will end up okay and better in love as a result.

    This rings true, I know it's hard but just try to believe this because it's the truth. Our most difficult trials bring us our greatest successes if you see it through. Stay strong and keep your head high, eventually you'll get yourself to turn a corner and come out better. :)
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • PRL1JAMPRL1JAM Posts: 787
    Destiny has a way of finding you. The ONE is still out there, dude

    learn from your past mistakes/experiences and use them in the future...

    hang in there
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    :cry::cry::cry::cry:

    It will get better. I promise.
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,282
    I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. Good luck to you on wherever life leads you next!
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • PearlOfAGirlPearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    I'm sorry for the pain your going through right now, :( but time will help you in heeling.
    Just take it one day at a time... (((((( HUGS ))))))

    Wish you were here...

    ~RIP Dad
  • petrocs wrote:
    I lost her and her 2 beautiful children 3 weeks ago. I've been suffering the worst loss I've felt since my brother Joe died. She doesnt want to speak to me anymore and I feel my hearts been ripped out of my chest. I feel like I screwed up. She was such a beautiful person and I loved those kids like they were my own. We were engaged to be married in June and we broke it off due to some problems we were having. We got back together in July and I thought we would make it work...it was a struggle and in the end it was just more fighting. 3 weeks ago she had had enough and ended it with me. I haven't been able to speak to her since. Last night she called and layed into me and told me she didn't love me, the kids didn't love me and that they were just going to forget that I ever existed. I've never felt so much pain.
    I love those 3 more than life. I would give up everything I am and everything I know for them. I made my mistakes..I'm not perfect. I was ready and willing to change on a dime. I was hoping for another chance..but now I don't think it will come. I'm lost. I feel like no one will ever love me again. I hate myself and I don't want to go on another day without them. I need a miracle in the worst way. I cant cry another tear..its hurt too much. Tonight I suggest you hug your girlfriend, fiance, wife, daughter, son and tell them how much you love them. I hope none of you ever have to go through the pain I've gone through this holiday.
    Thats all I can say.I have nothing left..
    I am sure your feelings are hurt...
    I hope the pain goes away.....

    But there is something I have to say...

    You lost a girl who had broke up with you once before....
    She told you "She doesnt love you"
    She told you " Her kids dont love you"

    I am not quite sure how long you 2 had been together....

    But Losing a woman who already has 2 children, who doesnt love you...

    May be a BIG BLESSING IN DISGUISE.......

    Again, I hope the pain goes away...
    But there are reasons for everything....
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • pearljgirl2010pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    it will get better...i know we've talked about this, but it still stinks and I'm really sorry that she hurt you...you deserve to be happy and you will be. it'll just take some time...
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,301
    So sorry to hear that.

    In time the wounds will heal.

    Until that happens, I suggest you distance yourself from everything that has to do with her, otherwise it will be really, really hard.

    By the way, her calling you after she broke it off and bitching you out is beyond low. Who does that? Do not answer your phone if you see her calling you anymore.


    Again, it'll get better. Stay strong!
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,962
    mca47 wrote:
    So sorry to hear that.

    In time the wounds will heal.

    Until that happens, I suggest you distance yourself from everything that has to do with her, otherwise it will be really, really hard.

    By the way, her calling you after she broke it off and bitching you out is beyond low. Who does that? Do not answer your phone if you see her calling you anymore.


    Again, it'll get better. Stay strong!
    This ^ is a helluva suggestion. My former wife did a similar thing. Broke it off and was adamant about a split. Wasn't as cruel as your ex seems to be thank god. But in wondering and pondering the why's of it all only served to keep me miserable. The pain does ease with time. Focus on the present and hope for your future.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • vedderfan10vedderfan10 Posts: 2,497
    Take care of yourself and know there is someone better for you in your future..

    Just resist being sucked back in should she decide she doesn't like being without you...she had her chance and she blew it. She doesn't deserve you...

    If the pain stays and you can't seem to get past it, go talk to someone to help you process this experience.
    be philanthropic
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    I feel for you dude, especially this time of year. I hope things get easier in a short while. Your hugging suggestion was taken to heart and performed.
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • petrocspetrocs Posts: 4,342
    Thanks everyone for the kind words of encouragement. This last month has been the worst of my relationship life. But lets not blame Jenn for her feelings right now. To be honest I feel nothing but love and compassion for her. I know what she did was a big step and in her mind she felt she needed to do it in order to regain her independence. The way she went about it was messed up but I'm not sure considering the situation if anything would've been different if she didn't go to this extreme. What I do hope happens is that through this anger and resentment for me she finds love and forgiveness so we can try again. I do love her with all my heart and I do love Colin and Gracie more than you could possibly know.
    What we need to have in our life in counseling and support. We have spent too much time fighting and not enough time enjoying each others company this last year. I think that through forgiveness and through mutually agreeable counselor we can make this relationship stronger and more resilient to petty fights. I've spent the last month reading books and praying and I feel that this is the only way. I only wish I could get through to Jenn and get her to agree to this. Its the only thing that gets me through the day right now. :( :( :( :( :( :(
    Shows:
    9/24/96 MD. 9/28/96 Randalls. 8/28-29/98 Camden. 9/8/98 NJ. 9/18/98 MD. 9/1-2/00 Camden. 9/4/00 MD. 4/28/03 Philly. 7/5-6/03 Camden. 9/30/05 AC.
    10/3/05 Philly. 5/27-28/06 Camden. 6/23/06 Pitt. 6/19-20/08 Camden. 6/24/08 MSG. 8/7/08 EV Newark, NJ. 6/11-12/09 EV Philly, PA. 10/27-28-30-31/09 Philly, PA., 5/15/10 Hartford,5/17/10 Boston, 5/18/10 Newark, 5/20-21/10 MSG
  • Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    petrocs wrote:
    Thanks everyone for the kind words of encouragement. This last month has been the worst of my relationship life. But lets not blame Jenn for her feelings right now. To be honest I feel nothing but love and compassion for her. I know what she did was a big step and in her mind she felt she needed to do it in order to regain her independence. The way she went about it was messed up but I'm not sure considering the situation if anything would've been different if she didn't go to this extreme. What I do hope happens is that through this anger and resentment for me she finds love and forgiveness so we can try again. I do love her with all my heart and I do love Colin and Gracie more than you could possibly know.
    What we need to have in our life in counseling and support. We have spent too much time fighting and not enough time enjoying each others company this last year. I think that through forgiveness and through mutually agreeable counselor we can make this relationship stronger and more resilient to petty fights. I've spent the last month reading books and praying and I feel that this is the only way. I only wish I could get through to Jenn and get her to agree to this. Its the only thing that gets me through the day right now. :( :( :( :( :( :(

    Keep your head, bro

    I heard this on XM today..not my fave cup of tea but kinda funny ;)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zfKPlvnwak
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • petrocs wrote:
    Thanks everyone for the kind words of encouragement. This last month has been the worst of my relationship life. But lets not blame Jenn for her feelings right now. To be honest I feel nothing but love and compassion for her. I know what she did was a big step and in her mind she felt she needed to do it in order to regain her independence. The way she went about it was messed up but I'm not sure considering the situation if anything would've been different if she didn't go to this extreme. What I do hope happens is that through this anger and resentment for me she finds love and forgiveness so we can try again. I do love her with all my heart and I do love Colin and Gracie more than you could possibly know.
    What we need to have in our life in counseling and support. We have spent too much time fighting and not enough time enjoying each others company this last year. I think that through forgiveness and through mutually agreeable counselor we can make this relationship stronger and more resilient to petty fights. I've spent the last month reading books and praying and I feel that this is the only way. I only wish I could get through to Jenn and get her to agree to this. Its the only thing that gets me through the day right now. :( :( :( :( :( :(
    as i see u are a man understand his mistake ..and learn from them,,now just put Black from Rotterdam boot...listen all...and then move on,,someone is out there for u..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • It's horrible when things like this happen and it's very, very difficult to cope with.

    The most important thing is look after yourself until the pain fades, however long that takes. It takes time for the wounds to heal, especially the emotional ones. Once they do you'll think and see clearer and, in time, realise that everything happens for a reason - good or bad.

    To phone you and insult you like that was an horrendous thing to do and only goes to show that she wasn't the right one for you. Don't take her back whatever you do - even if she gets on her knees and begs. Begin the long road of recovery and don't ever look back. Spend some time on your own, talk to friends and family and you'll find all the strength you need when the way gets rocky.

    I went through a break-up where I was humiliated, belittled and made to feel like I was nothing. My ex showed not one iota of compassion or emotion and continued with life like nothing had happened. I lost confidence in myself and spent seven years alone, thinking I'd never meet anyone. Now I'm very happily married to an amazing woman, whilst the ex is single, with very few friends and no life to speak of.

    What comes around goes around. You'll come out smiling, trust me.

    Good luck.
    It's gonna be a glorious day...
  • PJPixiePJPixie Posts: 3,026
    I'm so sorry for you. Break ups are never easy but as some one above said, everything happens for a reason....










    .....I'm single and I have 2 kids ;)


    i kid, i kid..........that was to make you smile!
    The best use of Life is Love.
    The best expression of Love is Time.
    The best time to Love is Now.


    I'm never as good as when you're there.........
  • fifefife Posts: 3,327
    this might not be the right time to say this but everyone deserves better than someone who calls you to say that she doesn't love you and neither do her kids.

    i am sure you will find the women who will want to be with you and that won't be in dreams but in reality.

    KRITFW :)
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    ask for a miracle it may come for you
    keep your heart open and keep loving her and those kids
    don't give up on love
    this love needs you to fight for it
    you can be so strong
  • petrocspetrocs Posts: 4,342
    Thanks Pandora..that was really nice...man I thought I was helping myself by writing all my feelings down on a piece of paper and turns out its depressed me more cause I don't think it'll ever be read by her :(
    Shows:
    9/24/96 MD. 9/28/96 Randalls. 8/28-29/98 Camden. 9/8/98 NJ. 9/18/98 MD. 9/1-2/00 Camden. 9/4/00 MD. 4/28/03 Philly. 7/5-6/03 Camden. 9/30/05 AC.
    10/3/05 Philly. 5/27-28/06 Camden. 6/23/06 Pitt. 6/19-20/08 Camden. 6/24/08 MSG. 8/7/08 EV Newark, NJ. 6/11-12/09 EV Philly, PA. 10/27-28-30-31/09 Philly, PA., 5/15/10 Hartford,5/17/10 Boston, 5/18/10 Newark, 5/20-21/10 MSG
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