Eddie Vedder should tell this joke at Jazz Fest

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Comments

  • justamjustam Posts: 21,408
    Why would you want Ed to tell a dumb joke like this? He probably has some better ones up his sleeve!
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • BinauralJamBinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    Two guys are interveiwing for the same job, first guy goes in and the boss says "This job requires keen attention to detail, i want you to take a minute look around this office and tell me what catchs your attention"? the man looks around and notices the Boss has no ears, he blurts out "You got no fuckin ears", the Boss starts screaming "You Insensitive Bastard, ofcourse i have no ears, that's fucking obvious, get the fuck out of hear, i'm not hiring you". The second guy hears the some screaming and watches the first man leave."Allright your up, come on in sit down, the Boss gives him the same shpeal, "This job requires keen attention to detail, i want you to take a minute look around this office and tell me what catchs your attention"? The man leans back and looks around, finally he stops and stares at the mans face. "You where contact lenses". The Boss is astounded, "Thats incrediable , yes i do, how the hell did you know" ,the guy says "Well you can't where Glasses, You got no Fuckin Ears" :lol::lol::lol:

    ya i laugh at my own jokes, so what.
  • Why'd they call a timeout in the leper hockey game?





































    there was a face off in the corner. :mrgreen:
  • EastiesEasties Posts: 479
    Eddie: What's white and black and swings from tree to tree?

    Eddie: My fridge in one of my leather jackets.
  • Easties wrote:
    Eddie: What's white and black and swings from tree to tree?

    Eddie: My fridge in one of my leather jackets.

    I'm confuzzed
  • t0mMyet0mMye Posts: 821
    I went to the doctor the other day and she told me I would have to stop masturbating.

    Confused I asked why?

    She stated "Becasue I am trying to examine you".
    Ten Club # 433608, when I am 80 I will be in the front row!
  • davidtriosdavidtrios Posts: 9,732
    Why'd they call a timeout in the leper hockey game?



































    There was a face off in the corner. :mrgreen:

    not good
  • KO282453 wrote:
    Two guys are interveiwing for the same job, first guy goes in and the boss says "This job requires keen attention to detail, i want you to take a minute look around this office and tell me what catchs your attention"? the man looks around and notices the Boss has no ears, he blurts out "You got no fuckin ears", the Boss starts screaming "You Insensitive Bastard, ofcourse i have no ears, that's fucking obvious, get the fuck out of hear, i'm not hiring you". The second guy hears the some screaming and watches the first man leave."Allright your up, come on in sit down, the Boss gives him the same shpeal, "This job requires keen attention to detail, i want you to take a minute look around this office and tell me what catchs your attention"? The man leans back and looks around, finally he stops and stares at the mans face. "You where contact lenses". The Boss is astounded, "Thats incrediable , yes i do, how the hell did you know" ,the guy says "Well you can't where Glasses, You got no Fuckin Ears" :lol::lol::lol:

    ya i laugh at my own jokes, so what.

    Speaking of attention to detail, my pedantic ass is squirmily trying to fight the urge to spellcheck/punctuate all of that.... :?
    93: Slane
    96: Cork, Dublin
    00: Dublin
    06: London, Dublin
    07: London, Copenhagen, Nijmegen
    09: Manchester, London
    10: Dublin, Belfast, London & Berlin
    11: San José
    12: Isle of Wight, Copenhagen, Ed in Manchester & London x2
  • 2 guys walk into a bar, the third ducks.
    Journey Begins: 1992-08-15, Montage Mountain Performing Arts Center,
    Scranton, Pennsylvania

    Journey Ends:
  • Davidtrios wrote:
    Why'd they call a timeout in the leper hockey game?



    There was a face off in the corner. :mrgreen:

    not good

    pfffffffftttt........that shit might be old...but it's funny as fuck! :lol::lol::lol:
  • a guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm...his wife is lying in bed...he says "i'd like to introduce you to the pig i fuck when you're not around"

    his wife says "WHAT? and besides, thats not a pig, thats a sheep"

    the guy says "i was talking to the sheep"
    "I'll tell you what: If all I had was Pearl Jam, and I didn't have another band in the world, I would not be worried. Because in there is the essence of making great music. You don't have to use it all at once, but it's there." - Neil Young
  • a grandfather and his granddaughter are driving down the road...in the car in front of them, there is a crazy couple, a man and a woman who are fighting....the crazy lady cuts off the guys dick and flings it out the window

    the chopped off dick hits the windshield of grandpa's car....the granddaughter asks, "grandpa, what was that thing that just hit the windshield?"

    the grandpa doesn't want to tell the little girl that it was a severed penis, so he says "oh, that was just a bug, sweetheart"

    they drive down the road for several minutes in silence...finally the granddaughter says, "grandpa...that bug had a REALLY BIG DICK!!!"
    "I'll tell you what: If all I had was Pearl Jam, and I didn't have another band in the world, I would not be worried. Because in there is the essence of making great music. You don't have to use it all at once, but it's there." - Neil Young
  • BinauralJamBinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    KO282453 wrote:
    Two guys are interveiwing for the same job, first guy goes in and the boss says "This job requires keen attention to detail, i want you to take a minute look around this office and tell me what catchs your attention"? the man looks around and notices the Boss has no ears, he blurts out "You got no fuckin ears", the Boss starts screaming "You Insensitive Bastard, ofcourse i have no ears, that's fucking obvious, get the fuck out of hear, i'm not hiring you". The second guy hears the some screaming and watches the first man leave."Allright your up, come on in sit down, the Boss gives him the same shpeal, "This job requires keen attention to detail, i want you to take a minute look around this office and tell me what catchs your attention"? The man leans back and looks around, finally he stops and stares at the mans face. "You where contact lenses". The Boss is astounded, "Thats incrediable , yes i do, how the hell did you know" ,the guy says "Well you can't where Glasses, You got no Fuckin Ears" :lol::lol::lol:

    ya i laugh at my own jokes, so what.

    Speaking of attention to detail, my pedantic ass is squirmily trying to fight the urge to spellcheck/punctuate all of that.... :?

    Sorry i was drinking and it was an old joke, i had a hard time trying to remember. :oops:
  • SmellymanSmellyman Posts: 4,524
    t0mMye wrote:
    I went to the doctor the other day and she told me I would have to stop masturbating.

    Confused I asked why?

    She stated "Becasue I am trying to examine you".

    winner
  • googoo Posts: 226
    Why did Hitler commit suicide?
























    he saw the gas bill.
  • PatrickBatemanPatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    t0mMye wrote:
    I went to the doctor the other day and she told me I would have to stop masturbating.

    Confused I asked why?

    She stated "Becasue I am trying to examine you".
    lol
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • badbrainsbadbrains Posts: 10,255
    I heard this joke back in high school. So dnt fucken kill me if you've heard it before.

    What's green and smells like pork?










    Kermit's finger.......

    I still laugh to this day......
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