Thread for those who had/have family members called up

Ms. Haiku

for a year. At least it's not Iraq or Afganistan, but it's still sad for my twin and her family. I live 40 minutes away, so I'll be able to help her out with her family.

the wolf

that sucks.

sorry.

Brisk.

Sorry to hear. Wish you the best

People seem to feel really sad when they know people are going away for service, but surely you are prepared for it a bit? if they join the army then you surely know there is a high chance of getting shipped off somewhere as thats what one of the main reasons is... obviously it will still be sad etc but i just get the impression sometimes on here that people are very suprised by this.

THen again i'm not in the army nor know anything about it so yeah just what i feel.

decides2dream

oh ms. haiku, i'm so sorry!
your twin's family especilly, i know how utterly close you are with them all.
wish them the best...

Ms. Haiku

It is not a surprise, he was next in line. I don't think a person can prepare enough to watch a family member go away for a year. He's a loved daddy. He chose this, he knew it could happen, he had options to get out, but he is proud of what he does. It still doesn't make it sad for all of us.

nuffingman

Bad news, I'm sorry.

But as you say, at least it's not Iraq or Afganistan.

Claireack

Sorry to hear about that, yes but at least it's not one of the other possiblities.

My brother got back earlier in the year from nearly 7 months in Afganistan. Not nice.

My thoughts are with you.

dimitrispearljam

sorry for that..fuckin wars..

Ms. Haiku

Claireack wrote:

Sorry to hear about that, yes but at least it's not one of the other possiblities.

My brother got back earlier in the year from nearly 7 months in Afganistan. Not nice.

My thoughts are with you.

OMG! Good to hear he is back. Yuck!

jammergirl

sorry to hear that, my brother spent over a year in afghanistan. It was probably the hardest year of my life. everyone kept saying to me "well at least it's not iraq!" and it really got on my nerves so I won't say that to you. because bottom line, it sucks no matter where they're going. good thoughts to you and yours...

Ms. Haiku

jammergirl wrote:

sorry to hear that, my brother spent over a year in afghanistan. It was probably the hardest year of my life. everyone kept saying to me "well at least it's not iraq!" and it really got on my nerves so I won't say that to you. because bottom line, it sucks no matter where they're going. good thoughts to you and yours...

I foresee it as a year of waiting, a year on hold - a year when my shitty job will pale in comparison to what's really important. How do you/did you view that year? Did you have someone to talk to? There are so many people going through this, not just being called up or sent over, but having to fill in the gaps when the person is gone.

patrickredeyes

Ms. Haiku wrote:

for a year. At least it's not Iraq or Afganistan, but it's still sad for my twin and her family. I live 40 minutes away, so I'll be able to help her out with her family.

God bless your brother and I wish him a safe return.

jammergirl

quote]
I foresee it as a year of waiting, a year on hold - a year when my shitty job will pale in comparison to what's really important. How do you/did you view that year? Did you have someone to talk to? There are so many people going through this, not just being called up or sent over, but having to fill in the gaps when the person is gone.[/quote]

Well, it definitely gave me a different perspective on what really matters. for instance, I was starting my first semester at a university while he was over there, and the trivial things that my roommates would freak out over or stress about really got to me. like, I would be getting ready for school and watch on the news "3 more soldiers killed today in afghanistan" then every time the phone would ring I would brace myself for "that" phone call. not a fun way to spend a year. I don't think I realized until after he was back the constant state of stress I was in, mainly because my parents were in knots the entire time and I was always calming them down and telling them not to worry and such.
Well, I wish I could tell you that its going to be an easy time, but being family of a soldier is no picnic. if you ever need anyone to talk to or even just to vent about your fears please shoot me a pm. best wishes, hon.

Porchsitter

That's tough. I know how tough it can be. I have a brother and a brother-in-law both in Afghanistan right now and just had a friend return from his Iraq/Afghanistan deployment. It's been a tough couple of years.

Ms. Haiku

Is there a thread where people who have/had family members in the war go to as a support group type place? It looks like quite a few of you have gone through what I'm about to go through, and it looks like I'm not the only one who has this big cloud over the horizon. I may need to post here for a reality check from time to time. I foresee that my coping mechanisms will involve many donuts, and mass market paperback mystery novels. Total comfort activities for a stressful time. Usually, I try to challenge myself every New Year's with eating better, and reading as many well written novels as possible, but fuck that. Next year is about getting through it, and helping my twin's family get through it. 2011 here I come!

Ms. Haiku

Porchsitter wrote:

That's tough. I know how tough it can be. I have a brother and a brother-in-law both in Afghanistan right now and just had a friend return from his Iraq/Afghanistan deployment. It's been a tough couple of years.

That rots. It sounds very tough.

Cosmo

Ms. Haiku wrote:

for a year. At least it's not Iraq or Afganistan, but it's still sad for my twin and her family. I live 40 minutes away, so I'll be able to help her out with her family.

...
Is he in the Air Force?

jammergirl

Ms. Haiku wrote:

Is there a thread where people who have/had family members in the war go to as a support group type place? It looks like quite a few of you have gone through what I'm about to go through, and it looks like I'm not the only one who has this big cloud over the horizon. I may need to post here for a reality check from time to time. I foresee that my coping mechanisms will involve many donuts, and mass market paperback mystery novels. Total comfort activities for a stressful time. Usually, I try to challenge myself every New Year's with eating better, and reading as many well written novels as possible, but fuck that. Next year is about getting through it, and helping my twin's family get through it. 2011 here I come!

this is a fantastic idea, I think a seperate thread about family members of people overseas would be tremendously beneficial. I sure wish something like this was happening earlier. On a different note, I am a twin also! weird!

HeavyHands

For your peace of mind... there is no fighting in Kuwait. Kuwait is not a war zone. The biggest threat he faces in Kuwait is a training accident or workplace carelessness.

The worst thing about this is that he will be away from his family for a year. He will be in no more danger in Kuwait than he would be in Mexico.

Ms. Haiku

Cosmo wrote:

Ms. Haiku wrote:

for a year. At least it's not Iraq or Afganistan, but it's still sad for my twin and her family. I live 40 minutes away, so I'll be able to help her out with her family.

...
Is he in the Air Force?

Navy

Ms. Haiku

HeavyHands wrote:

For your peace of mind... there is no fighting in Kuwait. Kuwait is not a war zone. The biggest threat he faces in Kuwait is a training accident or workplace carelessness.

The worst thing about this is that he will be away from his family for a year. He will be in no more danger in Kuwait than he would be in Mexico.

Yes, I understand. His absence is the biggest bummer.

Ms. Haiku

jammergirl wrote:

this is a fantastic idea, I think a seperate thread about family members of people overseas would be tremendously beneficial. I sure wish something like this was happening earlier. On a different note, I am a twin also! weird!

Changed the title, and the thread is made!

stargirl69

Brisk. wrote:

Sorry to hear. Wish you the best

People seem to feel really sad when they know people are going away for service, but surely you are prepared for it a bit? if they join the army then you surely know there is a high chance of getting shipped off somewhere as thats what one of the main reasons is... obviously it will still be sad etc but i just get the impression sometimes on here that people are very suprised by this.

THen again i'm not in the army nor know anything about it so yeah just what i feel.

I totally agree with you ... that is what the army is after all,it's surely not a cake walk,the purpose of the army/forces is to go to war when governments decide ... when people sign up they know that ... there are some countries have some years of compulsory service .... my friends husband served 5 compulsory years in Nigerian Military .... this the case with this thread?

I have always been a concencious objector .... I'd go to prison rather than the forces

dimitrispearljam

stargirl69 wrote:

Brisk. wrote:

Sorry to hear. Wish you the best

People seem to feel really sad when they know people are going away for service, but surely you are prepared for it a bit? if they join the army then you surely know there is a high chance of getting shipped off somewhere as thats what one of the main reasons is... obviously it will still be sad etc but i just get the impression sometimes on here that people are very suprised by this.

THen again i'm not in the army nor know anything about it so yeah just what i feel.

I totally agree with you ... that is what the army is after all,it's surely not a cake walk,the purpose of the army/forces is to go to war when governments decide ... when people sign up they know that ... there are some countries have some years of compulsory service .... my friends husband served 5 compulsory years in Nigerian Military .... this the case with this thread?

I have always been a concencious objector .... I'd go to prison rather than the forces

ok,its no so easy..is a job..im in Greek Airforce 18 years now..u know where u going for sure..if i was in the states i never join the army..couse they are always in a kind of war..here we are peacefull ,,we are in case they need us..and we are a small country with not so friendly country around..thats why they need us..in the states thinks are different..here,all the people join the army,airforce,navy dont have in their mind that they will go to a war or something like that..its a just job as all the others for the goverment.and they dont have to do some comercial in tv or so.people thinks its a good way to secure a job..
but jail is really hard..i prefer this one than jail..

stargirl69

dimitrispearljam wrote:

stargirl69 wrote:

Brisk. wrote:

Sorry to hear. Wish you the best

People seem to feel really sad when they know people are going away for service, but surely you are prepared for it a bit? if they join the army then you surely know there is a high chance of getting shipped off somewhere as thats what one of the main reasons is... obviously it will still be sad etc but i just get the impression sometimes on here that people are very suprised by this.

THen again i'm not in the army nor know anything about it so yeah just what i feel.

I totally agree with you ... that is what the army is after all,it's surely not a cake walk,the purpose of the army/forces is to go to war when governments decide ... when people sign up they know that ... there are some countries have some years of compulsory service .... my friends husband served 5 compulsory years in Nigerian Military .... this the case with this thread?



I have always been a concencious objector .... I'd go to prison rather than the forces

ok,its no so easy..is a job..im in Greek Airforce 18 years now..u know where u going for sure..if i was in the states i never join the army..couse they are always in a kind of war..here we are peacefull ,,we are in case they need us..and we are a small country with not so friendly country around..thats why they need us..in the states thinks are different..here,all the people join the army,airforce,navy dont have in their mind that they will go to a war or something like that..its a just job as all the others for the goverment.and they dont have to do some comercial in tv or so.people thinks its a good way to secure a job..
but jail is really hard..i prefer this one than jail..

Oh Dimitris,please do not misunderstand me I agree with you.I had many friends leave school with little job prospects,the 80's in Britian was a miserable time.Many of these great friends chose the army as a career to get out of the mass unemployment that swept the country.
But I have a very personal view point about military ... I come from a family who have been concencious objectors .... my great grandad served time in prison for refusing to fight in WW1 .... My mum remembers him saying "I'll be a live coward than a dead hero" ....Britain has been in bed with American Military for decades ... where they start wars ... Britain is running behind them ... like a attention hungry child.

Ms. Haiku

stargirl69 wrote:

this the case with this thread?

It's more of a place for those that have loved ones called up to serve overseas or away somewhere can go to for support. It's meant to be a place of refuge during a time of chaos.

Jennytree

My bro-in-law is in Chad at the moment on a peace-keeping mission. He's getting on fine and while he hates it, my sister is getting on worse as she is left at home with three kids. The middle child is 2 1/2 and is waking in the middle of the night asking for his Daddy, every time the phone rings he runs for it thinking it could be his Dad, same if the door opens. He misses him a lot.

Ms. Haiku

Jennytree wrote:

My bro-in-law is in Chad at the moment on a peace-keeping mission. He's getting on fine and while he hates it, my sister is getting on worse as she is left at home with three kids. The middle child is 2 1/2 and is waking in the middle of the night asking for his Daddy, every time the phone rings he runs for it thinking it could be his Dad, same if the door opens. He misses him a lot.

Wow. When is his expected return date?

stargirl69

Ms. Haiku wrote:

stargirl69 wrote:

this the case with this thread?

It's more of a place for those that have loved ones called up to serve overseas or away somewhere can go to for support. It's meant to be a place of refuge during a time of chaos.

Of course ... I understand ... I wish everyone with family and loved ones involved a safe return home.

Heineken Helen

Ms. Haiku wrote:

It is not a surprise, he was next in line. I don't think a person can prepare enough to watch a family member go away for a year. He's a loved daddy. He chose this, he knew it could happen, he had options to get out, but he is proud of what he does. It still doesn't make it sad for all of us.

My brother's done a few tours... he's been to Lebanon, Liberia & Kosovo twice. The first was Lebanon and it was seriously tough on me and I was constantly thinking and imagining bad things... but I think when he got back, and talked about it, in a job way and how certain things became normal, I got to realise it was his choice. Sure, each time he went away was tough... but it's what he wants to do... and while his beliefs are VASTLY different to mine, I respect everyone's. I don't see the point in what they do to be honest, but he's a much more intelligent guy than I am so who am I to say anything. However my brother IS a single guy :oops:

Thing is, it's their choice... your sister and her family will need support... so that's it... just support them.

Heineken Helen

stargirl69 wrote:

I totally agree with you ... that is what the army is after all,it's surely not a cake walk,the purpose of the army/forces is to go to war when governments decide ... when people sign up they know that ... there are some countries have some years of compulsory service .... my friends husband served 5 compulsory years in Nigerian Military .... this the case with this thread?

I have always been a concencious objector .... I'd go to prison rather than the forces

I agree with you... Ireland's a neutral country and they only go as peacekeepers/makers... oh and enforcers now... but no Iraq/Afghanistan... my brother volunteered for each tour... and that was tough to deal with at first... why the fuck would somebody volunteer to go fight somebody elses war and leave their family to worry about them? However, I do see the work he does as different, keeping the peace in already wartorn countries... and not being an invading force.