I was a bridesmaid in one of the other weddings (not wearing that thing again) and that was in the spring anyway. The other was in the summer and it was a brunch so I just wore a nice skirt and top. I really don't have anything- all of my cocktail dresses are really old and don't fit quite right anymore. But I didn't mean to get into my whole wardrobe situation here. It's really beside the point. I'm buying a dress, it's my only option. I just meant it is strange to me to have such a fancy event where people have to find black tie attire and whatnot during times like these. It also just seems like a weird thing to do in general...But you've all made your point, I guess it's just me.
I am giving to charity for the gifts-I always do. I just haven't gotten enough money to do it yet!
Most weddings ARE black tie... even during recessions.
If anybody gave to charity for my wedding gift, I'd give their wedding meal to charity :evil: I'm sorry, but I find it rude... if somebody wants to give to charity, let them decide that themselves. Perhaps they're hoping the gifts will cover most of the COST of the wedding, as many many couples do.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Most weddings ARE black tie... even during recessions.
I've never been to a black tie wedding before. Most that I've been to it's assumed to dress "semi-formal" or even less formal for some, but I've never been to one that was specifically black tie, outside of the groomsmen. I know people who have gone to them, but it's not the norm, at least among people I know.
If anybody gave to charity for my wedding gift, I'd give their wedding meal to charity :evil: I'm sorry, but I find it rude... if somebody wants to give to charity, let them decide that themselves. Perhaps they're hoping the gifts will cover most of the COST of the wedding, as many many couples do.
I really don't believe in buying mass quantities of consumer products just for the sake of buying mass quantities of consumer products, which is what a lot of weddings turn out to be, and I don't believe in giving cash as a gift unless you are a related, older generation to the recipient. It's just my personal choices on how I want to spend my money. I think gifts should be more personal than wedding registries, so I usually try to find an alternative, which is often charity. Recently I've given people tree planting kits, which I think is an awesome gift, but I know these people couldn't use that.
Most weddings ARE black tie... even during recessions.
I've never been to a black tie wedding before. Most that I've been to it's assumed to dress "semi-formal" or even less formal for some, but I've never been to one that was specifically black tie, outside of the groomsmen. I know people who have gone to them, but it's not the norm, at least among people I know.
If anybody gave to charity for my wedding gift, I'd give their wedding meal to charity :evil: I'm sorry, but I find it rude... if somebody wants to give to charity, let them decide that themselves. Perhaps they're hoping the gifts will cover most of the COST of the wedding, as many many couples do.
I really don't believe in buying mass quantities of consumer products just for the sake of buying mass quantities of consumer products, which is what a lot of weddings turn out to be, and I don't believe in giving cash as a gift unless you are a related, older generation to the recipient. It's just my personal choices on how I want to spend my money. I think gifts should be more personal than wedding registries, so I usually try to find an alternative, which is often charity. Recently I've given people tree planting kits, which I think is an awesome gift, but I know these people couldn't use that.
HUH? You think gifts should be personal... so you choose a charity that you think they SHOULD support? A personal gift... even though you don't agree with consumer products or money.
Sounds like you're making excuses to cover up being broke... stop covering up. They're close friends, if you're broke, just say you're broke and you'll avoid looking like a cheapskate and 'that' person.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
While I don't see any problem with having a black tie wedding during the recession, some of the responses to the OP are a bit over the top. She is obviously on tough times and is frustrated with the situation she is in and trying to come up with alternatives. I don't see anything wrong with that. It has to be a tough and sad situation knowing a friend is getting married and you might not be able to attend because of financial issues.
Most weddings ARE black tie... even during recessions.
If anybody gave to charity for my wedding gift, I'd give their wedding meal to charity :evil: I'm sorry, but I find it rude... if somebody wants to give to charity, let them decide that themselves. Perhaps they're hoping the gifts will cover most of the COST of the wedding, as many many couples do.
I have been to two black tie weddings in my life and have been to a fair share of weddings.
I wouldn't give to a charity as a gift but if that is what it took to have a close friend come to my wedding and be comfortable, I am all for it.
I also highly doubt most people having a black tie wedding are worried about how much money they are going to recieve from gifts.
While I don't see any problem with having a black tie wedding during the recession, some of the responses to the OP are a bit over the top. She is obviously on tough times and is frustrated with the situation she is in and trying to come up with alternatives. I don't see anything wrong with that. It has to be a tough and sad situation knowing a friend is getting married and you might not be able to attend because of financial issues.
Lighten up folks!
well thank you, but I wasn't even really looking for alternatives. I was just suggesting that it's weird how people don't really think about others and their financial situations when making plans...but if I could go back and do it again, I guess I wouldn't have posted this. I'm a little shocked, especially at the last post...I'm not trying to hide that I'm broke, everyone knows! But I will just have to agree to disagree regarding the charity issue. I don't give to any political organizations or anything like that. I usually give to environmental charities or something else that everyone, including the recipients can benefit from. I feel that gives me more bang for my buck so to speak.
I thought that exact thing - next tour, next tour, by golly I'll be ready! I have to look from a distance for this one.
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
well thank you, but I wasn't even really looking for alternatives. I was just suggesting that it's weird how people don't really think about others and their financial situations when making plans...but if I could go back and do it again, I guess I wouldn't have posted this. I'm a little shocked, especially at the last post...I'm not trying to hide that I'm broke, everyone knows! But I will just have to agree to disagree regarding the charity issue. I don't give to any political organizations or anything like that. I usually give to environmental charities or something else that everyone, including the recipients can benefit from. I feel that gives me more bang for my buck so to speak.
This is not about me having a go at you but you're giving them a gift that YOU want and you find suitable... it's really not a suitable gift. Why don't YOU actually physically plant a tree FOR them in some beauty spot that they can go visit and have this lovely romantic place at their tree or something.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
well thank you, but I wasn't even really looking for alternatives. I was just suggesting that it's weird how people don't really think about others and their financial situations when making plans...but if I could go back and do it again, I guess I wouldn't have posted this. I'm a little shocked, especially at the last post...I'm not trying to hide that I'm broke, everyone knows! But I will just have to agree to disagree regarding the charity issue. I don't give to any political organizations or anything like that. I usually give to environmental charities or something else that everyone, including the recipients can benefit from. I feel that gives me more bang for my buck so to speak.
This is not about me having a go at you but you're giving them a gift that YOU want and you find suitable... it's really not a suitable gift. Why don't YOU actually physically plant a tree FOR them in some beauty spot that they can go visit and have this lovely romantic place at their tree or something.
Anytime you give anyone a gift that they haven't specifically asked for (in which case it's less of a "gift" in the true sense and more of just a transfer of wealth) you are picking out something that you think they'd like. I think that my friends would appreciate it as a gift if I contribute something to their well being in the form of charity, and that's not different than thinking my friends would like the crystal vase that I picked out for them. I would absolutely plant a tree for them, but I don't live in the same state. If I go through the trouble to give someone an actual tree, I think it's cool if they can use it directly. It's not the best gift for them. I don't know what I'll be giving them yet because it's going to be quite a while before I get the money to do anything anyway.
My sister got married in July and I still haven't got her a present. In Ireland, the gift is money 99% of the time - this is to cover the cost of having you as a guest for the day (4 or 5 course dinner, champagne, wine, tea and sammiches later on, and the cost of a room if relevant). You can get a very pretty cocktail dress for about €100, €150 at most. Where there's a will, there's a way
On a side note, I haven't given her a gift yet because I went to see 6 Pearl Jam shows, and I don't regret a minute of it
I don't think we're in a recession at all. Proof is that, there are still one hour waits and restaurants on the weekend, and Movie box office sales are still in the multi-millions. Those are two MAJOR luxuries that nobody is slowing down on. I think people are confusing a recession with a stock market hiccup. There is not a recession.
I don't think we're in a recession at all. Proof is that, there are still one hour waits and restaurants on the weekend, and Movie box office sales are still in the multi-millions. Those are two MAJOR luxuries that nobody is slowing down on. I think people are confusing a recession with a stock market hiccup. There is not a recession.
unemployment is still high.
I've been avoiding restaurants besides the occasional take out. But movies actually do fairly well in economic downturns, because they're less expensive than other forms of entertainment, such as eating out or going to see a live band .
I don't think we're in a recession at all. Proof is that, there are still one hour waits and restaurants on the weekend, and Movie box office sales are still in the multi-millions. Those are two MAJOR luxuries that nobody is slowing down on. I think people are confusing a recession with a stock market hiccup. There is not a recession.
When I eat out, restaurants are noticeably emptier than they used to be. Maybe I don't frequent the most upscale ones in town but it's obvious that their business is down. Also, unemployment is still pretty high here which I can attest to since I've been out of work for quite a while.
As far as making a donation for a wedding gift, if the couple isn't in need of things to set up housekeeping (and it sounds like this couple isn't), I don't see anything wrong with a donation. When my nephew got married 2 years ago, when of the things they put on their registry was suggested donations to a research foundation for stroke prevention because the bride's sister had had a stroke.
In Ireland, the gift is money 99% of the time - this is to cover the cost of having you as a guest for the day (4 or 5 course dinner, champagne, wine, tea and sammiches later on, and the cost of a room if relevant).
Ireland does it right, apparently. I think that's a good policy.
Too many comments to quote but I'll comment on a few.
If you can't afford to go don't.
When we were married 4 years ago we specifically asked for no presents but suggested people could donate to Cancer Research if they wanted. A good sum was donated and we didn't have unwanted toasters.
I've only once been to a black tie wedding. The extravagance was ridiculous especially as they split up 2 years later.
No idea why people spend so much on weddings as so many end in divorce.
Anyone who thinks there isn't a recession has their head in the clouds.
I cannot believe some of the responses. I understand the etiquette and you get a gift for what your meal costs, but there is something important to remember. The guest didn't set the menu! Normally I would just go along, but when times are tough. Don't go. It is unfair to have a black tie wedding in this economic climate. People just don't have the money.
I had the whole huge wedding. My ex-wife still has all the gifts and some were never even opened. It's just a stupid tradition. I am engaged again and will be doing a destination wedding with few attendees and no mandatory attendance/gifts/rules.
Love is Love. The celebration should be meaningful to the couple and if that means black tie and gift expectations then you just have to accept lighter attendance.
I am engaged again and will be doing a destination wedding with few attendees and no mandatory attendance/gifts/rules.
Good for you. Nowadays it seems to be a ludicrous pageant. I wanted us to have a destination wedding but the "oh we can't do that because so and so will be upset" syndrome started.
I cannot believe some of the responses. I understand the etiquette and you get a gift for what your meal costs, but there is something important to remember. The guest didn't set the menu!
haha yeah I don't think i could afford the cost of my meal for this one! Plus, you're supposed to be a guest. it's actually NOT etiquette to buy a gift to cover your meal, at least not in the US. I've read up quite a bit and there's actually no etiquette rule that says you have to give a gift at all!According to the manners ladies, it's perfectly fine to attend a wedding and not give a gift. I probably wouldn't do this, but it's an interesting fact.
I don't think we're in a recession at all. Proof is that, there are still one hour waits and restaurants on the weekend, and Movie box office sales are still in the multi-millions. Those are two MAJOR luxuries that nobody is slowing down on. I think people are confusing a recession with a stock market hiccup. There is not a recession.
When I eat out, restaurants are noticeably emptier than they used to be. Maybe I don't frequent the most upscale ones in town but it's obvious that their business is down. Also, unemployment is still pretty high here which I can attest to since I've been out of work for quite a while.
As far as making a donation for a wedding gift, if the couple isn't in need of things to set up housekeeping (and it sounds like this couple isn't), I don't see anything wrong with a donation. When my nephew got married 2 years ago, when of the things they put on their registry was suggested donations to a research foundation for stroke prevention because the bride's sister had had a stroke.
that's fair enough... it was on their list... but in this case I don't think the bride had a tree who died?
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I cannot believe some of the responses. I understand the etiquette and you get a gift for what your meal costs, but there is something important to remember. The guest didn't set the menu!
haha yeah I don't think i could afford the cost of my meal for this one! Plus, you're supposed to be a guest. it's actually NOT etiquette to buy a gift to cover your meal, at least not in the US. I've read up quite a bit and there's actually no etiquette rule that says you have to give a gift at all!According to the manners ladies, it's perfectly fine to attend a wedding and not give a gift. I probably wouldn't do this, but it's an interesting fact.
:shock: :oops: I can't imagine any country in the world where that would be fact.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
In Ireland, the gift is money 99% of the time - this is to cover the cost of having you as a guest for the day (4 or 5 course dinner, champagne, wine, tea and sammiches later on, and the cost of a room if relevant).
Ireland does it right, apparently. I think that's a good policy.
Sometimes they do it differently, like the couple MAY have a wedding list OR they may have recommended gifts or whatever. Thing is, whatever they want is never ever questioned... it's THEIR day. It's an honour to be invited to share in their special day. If they have a dress code or want certain gifts you go along with that and respect that it's what they want. If you can't do that, you make your excuses and don't go.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
In Ireland, the gift is money 99% of the time - this is to cover the cost of having you as a guest for the day (4 or 5 course dinner, champagne, wine, tea and sammiches later on, and the cost of a room if relevant).
Ireland does it right, apparently. I think that's a good policy.
Sometimes they do it differently, like the couple MAY have a wedding list OR they may have recommended gifts or whatever. Thing is, whatever they want is never ever questioned... it's THEIR day. It's an honour to be invited to share in their special day. If they have a dress code or want certain gifts you go along with that and respect that it's what they want. If you can't do that, you make your excuses and don't go.
I would advise not to go. If money is tight, don't do it. I haven't missed a wedding this season and have always given a check because I know that the couple know best what to do with it. However, if I was invited to a black tie wedding I would decline. It's either me and my suit which I already own, or no me. As the original part of the thread mentioned at some point it's just improper to ignore your guests finances in this economy.
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Sometimes they do it differently, like the couple MAY have a wedding list OR they may have recommended gifts or whatever. Thing is, whatever they want is never ever questioned... it's THEIR day. It's an honour to be invited to share in their special day. If they have a dress code or want certain gifts you go along with that and respect that it's what they want. If you can't do that, you make your excuses and don't go.
I agree about the dress code thing-obviously you should respect that if people have designed it that way, which is what puts you in a difficult position in the first place if this creates a problem. You try telling one of your oldest and closest friends you can't go to her wedding because "I have nothing to wear." The problem is that it's not really an acceptable excuse, however, when the wedding is designed, the hosts often just go with their "vision" but don't think of little details that may be problematic for guests to comply with. Obviously they WANT people at their wedding or they wouldn't have done all this in the first place- why make it more difficult on people to attend when you want them to be there? The answer is because they probably didn't think about it that much.
As to the gifts I just don't see it that way, and there's no law that says it is. This is your opinion. I do not see gift-giving in the same way you do, and I don't see wedding gift giving the same way you do. I also happen to take environmental and social concerns into account when I spend my money on anything whether it be for me or a gift, these factors play into my decision making process, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I think that makes me a responsible person. I disagree that the gift is payment for attending the party. I assert that yes, I have read on several occasions that technically speaking, you really don't have to give anyone a gift. I also disagree that a day can belong to specific people and it's that mentality opened the door for a show called Bridezillas.
I also just wanted to say that I never wrote that I was troubled about whether I was going to the wedding or not. I am going. I am wearing the appropriate attire, somehow. I am buying them a gift, once I get enough money. I am making the sacrifice to attend because that is the right thing to do, and yes, I want to be there. Yes if I were literally going to lose my house or not be able to feed my children over this, then no, I wouldn't go. I was just saying, why make it harder for people to be able to come to the wedding, when chances are, it's probably already difficult.
Don't be 'that' person: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTbz5UPFjOc and I'm sorry, but if I got this gift, it would be equivalent to a planted tree in my honor....wait, actually the painting would provide a great story for years .."I know they asked for cash, but how much cash does a person really need?" lol..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
I cannot believe some of the responses. I understand the etiquette and you get a gift for what your meal costs, but there is something important to remember. The guest didn't set the menu!
haha yeah I don't think i could afford the cost of my meal for this one! Plus, you're supposed to be a guest. it's actually NOT etiquette to buy a gift to cover your meal, at least not in the US. I've read up quite a bit and there's actually no etiquette rule that says you have to give a gift at all!According to the manners ladies, it's perfectly fine to attend a wedding and not give a gift. I probably wouldn't do this, but it's an interesting fact.
:shock: :oops: I can't imagine any country in the world where that would be fact.
I can't either....but anyway, things are tough all over..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
That's too bad..ours was hella fun..and I enjoy attending weddings too..for a $100, I usually can eat really well, dance and get piss drunk....and yet not worry about a damn thing..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
That's too bad..ours was hella fun..and I enjoy attending weddings too..for a $100, I usually can eat really well, dance and get piss drunk....and yet not worry about a damn thing..
Weddings and baby showers.....I try to get out of both of them.....weddings are a bit harder....but I've got a 100% score for avoiding baby showers so far!
Comments
If anybody gave to charity for my wedding gift, I'd give their wedding meal to charity :evil: I'm sorry, but I find it rude... if somebody wants to give to charity, let them decide that themselves. Perhaps they're hoping the gifts will cover most of the COST of the wedding, as many many couples do.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I've never been to a black tie wedding before. Most that I've been to it's assumed to dress "semi-formal" or even less formal for some, but I've never been to one that was specifically black tie, outside of the groomsmen. I know people who have gone to them, but it's not the norm, at least among people I know.
I really don't believe in buying mass quantities of consumer products just for the sake of buying mass quantities of consumer products, which is what a lot of weddings turn out to be, and I don't believe in giving cash as a gift unless you are a related, older generation to the recipient. It's just my personal choices on how I want to spend my money. I think gifts should be more personal than wedding registries, so I usually try to find an alternative, which is often charity. Recently I've given people tree planting kits, which I think is an awesome gift, but I know these people couldn't use that.
Sounds like you're making excuses to cover up being broke... stop covering up. They're close friends, if you're broke, just say you're broke and you'll avoid looking like a cheapskate and 'that' person.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Lighten up folks!
I have been to two black tie weddings in my life and have been to a fair share of weddings.
I wouldn't give to a charity as a gift but if that is what it took to have a close friend come to my wedding and be comfortable, I am all for it.
I also highly doubt most people having a black tie wedding are worried about how much money they are going to recieve from gifts.
well thank you, but I wasn't even really looking for alternatives. I was just suggesting that it's weird how people don't really think about others and their financial situations when making plans...but if I could go back and do it again, I guess I wouldn't have posted this. I'm a little shocked, especially at the last post...I'm not trying to hide that I'm broke, everyone knows! But I will just have to agree to disagree regarding the charity issue. I don't give to any political organizations or anything like that. I usually give to environmental charities or something else that everyone, including the recipients can benefit from. I feel that gives me more bang for my buck so to speak.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Anytime you give anyone a gift that they haven't specifically asked for (in which case it's less of a "gift" in the true sense and more of just a transfer of wealth) you are picking out something that you think they'd like. I think that my friends would appreciate it as a gift if I contribute something to their well being in the form of charity, and that's not different than thinking my friends would like the crystal vase that I picked out for them. I would absolutely plant a tree for them, but I don't live in the same state. If I go through the trouble to give someone an actual tree, I think it's cool if they can use it directly. It's not the best gift for them. I don't know what I'll be giving them yet because it's going to be quite a while before I get the money to do anything anyway.
On a side note, I haven't given her a gift yet because I went to see 6 Pearl Jam shows, and I don't regret a minute of it
http://www.facebook.com/jennytree
SMELL YER MA!
unemployment is still high.
I've been avoiding restaurants besides the occasional take out. But movies actually do fairly well in economic downturns, because they're less expensive than other forms of entertainment, such as eating out or going to see a live band
As far as making a donation for a wedding gift, if the couple isn't in need of things to set up housekeeping (and it sounds like this couple isn't), I don't see anything wrong with a donation. When my nephew got married 2 years ago, when of the things they put on their registry was suggested donations to a research foundation for stroke prevention because the bride's sister had had a stroke.
If you can't afford to go don't.
When we were married 4 years ago we specifically asked for no presents but suggested people could donate to Cancer Research if they wanted. A good sum was donated and we didn't have unwanted toasters.
I've only once been to a black tie wedding. The extravagance was ridiculous especially as they split up 2 years later.
No idea why people spend so much on weddings as so many end in divorce.
Anyone who thinks there isn't a recession has their head in the clouds.
I had the whole huge wedding. My ex-wife still has all the gifts and some were never even opened. It's just a stupid tradition. I am engaged again and will be doing a destination wedding with few attendees and no mandatory attendance/gifts/rules.
Love is Love. The celebration should be meaningful to the couple and if that means black tie and gift expectations then you just have to accept lighter attendance.
Funnily so and so couldn't make it.
haha yeah I don't think i could afford the cost of my meal for this one! Plus, you're supposed to be a guest. it's actually NOT etiquette to buy a gift to cover your meal, at least not in the US. I've read up quite a bit and there's actually no etiquette rule that says you have to give a gift at all!According to the manners ladies, it's perfectly fine to attend a wedding and not give a gift. I probably wouldn't do this, but it's an interesting fact.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I agree about the dress code thing-obviously you should respect that if people have designed it that way, which is what puts you in a difficult position in the first place if this creates a problem. You try telling one of your oldest and closest friends you can't go to her wedding because "I have nothing to wear." The problem is that it's not really an acceptable excuse, however, when the wedding is designed, the hosts often just go with their "vision" but don't think of little details that may be problematic for guests to comply with. Obviously they WANT people at their wedding or they wouldn't have done all this in the first place- why make it more difficult on people to attend when you want them to be there? The answer is because they probably didn't think about it that much.
As to the gifts I just don't see it that way, and there's no law that says it is. This is your opinion. I do not see gift-giving in the same way you do, and I don't see wedding gift giving the same way you do. I also happen to take environmental and social concerns into account when I spend my money on anything whether it be for me or a gift, these factors play into my decision making process, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I think that makes me a responsible person. I disagree that the gift is payment for attending the party. I assert that yes, I have read on several occasions that technically speaking, you really don't have to give anyone a gift. I also disagree that a day can belong to specific people and it's that mentality opened the door for a show called Bridezillas.
I also just wanted to say that I never wrote that I was troubled about whether I was going to the wedding or not. I am going. I am wearing the appropriate attire, somehow. I am buying them a gift, once I get enough money. I am making the sacrifice to attend because that is the right thing to do, and yes, I want to be there. Yes if I were literally going to lose my house or not be able to feed my children over this, then no, I wouldn't go. I was just saying, why make it harder for people to be able to come to the wedding, when chances are, it's probably already difficult.
And here are the 5 rules for wedding gift giving: http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-plan ... iving.aspx
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
I can't either....but anyway, things are tough all over..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
That's too bad..ours was hella fun..and I enjoy attending weddings too..for a $100, I usually can eat really well, dance and get piss drunk....and yet not worry about a damn thing..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Weddings and baby showers.....I try to get out of both of them.....weddings are a bit harder....but I've got a 100% score for avoiding baby showers so far!
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
WHAT! I'm always up for a good wedding reception! Definitely more fun when its an open bar!