what's on your mind, right now?
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Truthfully, there are a couple people that I'm glad I have grown away from..
) But then I miss the commradere that my old - good friends had. The only thing that really bothers me are the days that it's not socially acceptable to spend away from friends (New years eve) because i will be alone in my apartment doing nothing special... Is that really a problem for me? i don't know a little, but I'm comfortable by myself, I'm just uncomfortable telling someone else that that is what i enjoy when they have the expectation that I should be at a random party getting drunk..
Frankie, I used to say that I didn't like going out on New Year's because I didn't trust all the other people on the road (which was/is very true), but I've found that saying, "I just want to lay low for the holiday," is enough of an answer when people ask what I am doing for New Year's. If they don't get it, that's on them. Some people can't stand to be in their own company, so you are one of the lucky ones.
:thumbsup: I am guaranteed to have to live with myself for my entire life, better enjoy it.
Yeah that's a good line, thanks!2003: 7/14 NJ ... 2006: 6/1 NJ, 6/3 NJ ... 2007: 8/5 IL ... 2008: 6/24 NY, 6/25 NY, 8/7 EV NJ ... 2009: 10/27 PA, 10/28 PA, 10/30 PA, 10/31 PA
2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD
2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA
2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s70 -
Actually I've heard that people who can't stand being alone probably suffers from mentally illness.0
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I've actually said something similar to several people who give me crap for all my alone time.
Personally I think the people who always have to be with others or have something going on - TV on, music on etc. - just can't stand to be alone with their own thoughts...Anything you lose from being honest
You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.0 -
Oh, I feel for you so much. Many similarities to the circumstances of my father's death 2 years ago. But PLEASE do not blame yourself--it is the furthest from your fault.pickupyourwill wrote: »First time on here since my life fell apart. Had my father cremated this past Tuesday. While I was worried about my friend's cat a week ago, my dad lay dead in his apartment for almost 5 days--heart attack. Guilt and self-blame are only the tip of the iceberg for me.
When my dad died, we're pretty sure he was alone in his apartment for a few days, just laying there. He normally called at least me or my sister once a day, and I was so angry for a long time that I didn't send someone over to check on him (I was 5 hours away at school...was hell to be so far away through much of grief). But it wasn't my fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. Please be easy on yourself at this time. I don't want to say things get better, rather we learn to adapt more and more as they days and years go on. May you be comforted by good memories. Sending hugs."Sometimes you find yourself having to put all your faith in no faith."
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2
2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx20 -
pickupyourwill wrote: »First time on here since my life fell apart. Had my father cremated this past Tuesday. While I was worried about my friend's cat a week ago, my dad lay dead in his apartment for almost 5 days--heart attack. Guilt and self-blame are only the tip of the iceberg for me.
So sorry for your loss, especially with those circumstances...I send you big hugs and i'm with you by thoughts...don't blame yourself ; unfortunately...useless. Take care...
"We were but stones, ...Your light made us stars"0 -
jennycoyle wrote: »Frankie - jenny, don't feel too bad, people change. I honestly feel if you felt you weren't missing out on anything then you aren't now either.
From what I have seen here, looks like they are the ones that should have made a bigger effort!
Truthfully, there are a couple people that I'm glad I have grown away from..) But then I miss the commradere that my old - good friends had. The only thing that really bothers me are the days that it's not socially acceptable to spend away from friends (New years eve) because i will be alone in my apartment doing nothing special... Is that really a problem for me? i don't know a little, but I'm comfortable by myself, I'm just uncomfortable telling someone else that that is what i enjoy when they have the expectation that I should be at a random party getting drunk..
I'm the same as regards feeling most comfortable in my own company. Unfortunately this doesn't mean I don't constantly regret my lack of friends. I do realise that sounds quite pathetic, but it is what it is. It bothered me back when I was in school as well. I just don't find it that easy to make friends, mainly because I'm not great at socialising and I don't drink (the primary means of socialising in Ireland!). I confuse myself really, as I generally feel quite content at home on my own but at the same time I'm always aware of how empty my life really is when I allow myself to think about it. Then I envy acquaintances who have a wide circle of friends and family who they can turn to whenever they need and never feel alone.
By the way Frankie, I was alone in the office today as well! Only one in the building, as I honestly had nowhere better to be
Exactly! I feel most comfortable in my own company and don't drink at all either so the socializing doesn't come as easy. I think the "how empty my life is" feeling is what i will be feeling New Years eve like i was saying above, but I don't normally feel that way. Last night after work I put on a couple records and just layed on the floor of my apartment listening and it was a great night.
Yeah my office is pretty empty too this week with people taking vacation. There is no reason for me to take time off to just hang at home so I have been coming into the office too... It's so dead but just like you say, I have nowhere better to be. And it's not like a 'driving/motivation' force that keeps me going, it's more just like a 'maintain the status quo'/don't screw up mentality that I think I need to change..
It actually occured to me today that facebook may be one of my problems. I'm happy in my own company until I look on facebook and see what everyone else is doing with their big gangs of friends! So I'd probably be less dissatisfied with my life if I didn't let facebook bring me down. Having said that, our own company is all well and good, but I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. There's not too much chance of us meeting people or making friends while we're hiding out at home unfortunately (other than PJ friends of course ) 0 -
Why won't my damn neck pop....???? it's killing me!!!Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
Tattooed Dissident!0 -
jennycoyle wrote: »jennycoyle wrote: »Frankie - jenny, don't feel too bad, people change. I honestly feel if you felt you weren't missing out on anything then you aren't now either.
From what I have seen here, looks like they are the ones that should have made a bigger effort!
Truthfully, there are a couple people that I'm glad I have grown away from..) But then I miss the commradere that my old - good friends had. The only thing that really bothers me are the days that it's not socially acceptable to spend away from friends (New years eve) because i will be alone in my apartment doing nothing special... Is that really a problem for me? i don't know a little, but I'm comfortable by myself, I'm just uncomfortable telling someone else that that is what i enjoy when they have the expectation that I should be at a random party getting drunk..
I'm the same as regards feeling most comfortable in my own company. Unfortunately this doesn't mean I don't constantly regret my lack of friends. I do realise that sounds quite pathetic, but it is what it is. It bothered me back when I was in school as well. I just don't find it that easy to make friends, mainly because I'm not great at socialising and I don't drink (the primary means of socialising in Ireland!). I confuse myself really, as I generally feel quite content at home on my own but at the same time I'm always aware of how empty my life really is when I allow myself to think about it. Then I envy acquaintances who have a wide circle of friends and family who they can turn to whenever they need and never feel alone.
By the way Frankie, I was alone in the office today as well! Only one in the building, as I honestly had nowhere better to be
Exactly! I feel most comfortable in my own company and don't drink at all either so the socializing doesn't come as easy. I think the "how empty my life is" feeling is what i will be feeling New Years eve like i was saying above, but I don't normally feel that way. Last night after work I put on a couple records and just layed on the floor of my apartment listening and it was a great night.
Yeah my office is pretty empty too this week with people taking vacation. There is no reason for me to take time off to just hang at home so I have been coming into the office too... It's so dead but just like you say, I have nowhere better to be. And it's not like a 'driving/motivation' force that keeps me going, it's more just like a 'maintain the status quo'/don't screw up mentality that I think I need to change..
It actually occured to me today that facebook may be one of my problems. I'm happy in my own company until I look on facebook and see what everyone else is doing with their big gangs of friends! So I'd probably be less dissatisfied with my life if I didn't let facebook bring me down. Having said that, our own company is all well and good, but I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. There's not too much chance of us meeting people or making friends while we're hiding out at home unfortunately (other than PJ friends of course )
facebook is the worst. Someone on here posted a video about that. some guy is posting a bunch of lies on facebook and even as his life spirals downward he keeps posting these false positive messages until he's finally so depressed he posts something about being depressed and everyone unfriends him or something.
I have a couple friends that use facebook in a way that is unrecognizable to who they are in real life. There's been some photos posted to facebook of "events" that I was AT and wouldn't recognize from how the photos made it look. I think people that post a lot of pix of themselves out "having fun" drinking or whatever with their big gang of friends are actually really really lonely inside and seeking validation.
I actually got bitched at for not posting selfies while travelling this year. Then got bitched at IN PERSON for being "grumpy" about my explanation that selfies are a bit unnecessary - how exactly is my face in front of the vatican going to make a better photo than the actual vatican? So now I only post pictures of my cats
I would suggest following a bunch of "interests" like tv shows/bands/news outlets/writers/journalists/photographers to make fb a little less annoying.NYC 06/24/08-Auckland 11/27/09-Chch 11/29/09-Newark 05/18/10-Atlanta 09/22/12-Chicago 07/19/13-Brooklyn 10/18/13 & 10/19/13-Hartford 10/25/13-Baltimore 10/27/13-Auckland 1/17/14-GC 1/19/14-Melbourne 1/24/14-Sydney 1/26/14-Amsterdam 6/16/14 & 6/17/14-Milan 6/20/14-Berlin 6/26/14-Leeds 7/8/14-Milton Keynes 7/11/14-St. Louis 10/3/14-NYC 9/26/15
LIVEFOOTSTEPS.ORG/USER/?USR=4350 -
Thank you to everyone who gave big hugs and sentiments about my dad. I just purchased a mother of pearl urn for him. I know he's in a better place. I'm kind of suprised he hasn't showed up in any of my dreams though. Life is weird.0
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I'm sorry for your loss, pickupyourwill.There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird0 -
life isnt fair0
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I love watching people be a complete hypocrite on fb, pretty entertaining, especially since they think they have everybody else fooled.
"the best way to deal with fake people is to be real with them"
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
- Christopher McCandless0 -
Facebook is a very bad idea for those of us who spend our lives comparing ourselves to others and generally being very unhappy with the resulting conclusions :-<0
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I found that I didn't like the person I was becoming on FB. I kept feeling like I had to compete with everyone. Plus, I am a brutally honest person.. That doesn't go over well on there. I found d mysf angry and frustrated all the time, cause I'd share something true, and get attacked as liar, which hurt what little feelings I have left. I also felt like even though I have lived a truly extraordinary life, that it was never satisfying over FB. So I was bitter and rude, and everyone thought I was bullshitting them in one form or another, and I got to where I was trying to subdue these awesome experiences I've had, because I got sick of being called aliar. So I deleted my FB account. I have never been happier!! As for keeping in touch, I prefer the old fashioned way.. A hand written letter! Just my two cents on FB.0
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I spent the last few months watching the entire Grey's Anatomy series (reaching the first 5 seasons too), and I'm finally all caught up.... I swear to god, every single episode made me cry at least once. I don't know wtf is wrong with me or what it is about that show, but EVERY episode got me weepy! No exceptions. That's 240 fucking episodes. That's a lot of weeping in only a few months! So yay. Now i can have a break from crying... at least until season 11 starts, lol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuej22Iy-GU www.myspace.com0 -
jennycoyle wrote: »It actually occured to me today that facebook may be one of my problems. I'm happy in my own company until I look on facebook and see what everyone else is doing with their big gangs of friends! So I'd probably be less dissatisfied with my life if I didn't let facebook bring me down. Having said that, our own company is all well and good, but I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. There's not too much chance of us meeting people or making friends while we're hiding out at home unfortunately (other than PJ friends of course )
I have found that being dissatisfied with something is the only way to change though.. I have fell in patterns where I'm superficially-happy, if that makes sense, and by really seeing what's going on from the other perspective made me realize that I wasn't truely happy. Does that make any sense?
) Maybe being dissatisfied about your life because of facebook will be the catalyst to change something. The best part about hiding out at home is making internet friends haha 2003: 7/14 NJ ... 2006: 6/1 NJ, 6/3 NJ ... 2007: 8/5 IL ... 2008: 6/24 NY, 6/25 NY, 8/7 EV NJ ... 2009: 10/27 PA, 10/28 PA, 10/30 PA, 10/31 PA
2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD
2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA
2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s70 -
I kinda need to stay on fb for certain reasons but i'm going to try avoid getting caught up in fb envy. It's very handy for messaging and keeping up with what's going on, but I don't want to know about other people's lives anymore as it only depresses me!
Of course I could try to get a life of my own....0 -
We should be able to charge doctors if they cancel our appt. I made a dentist appt waited a month to go in, show up an get told "oh the hygienist is out today, so we have to reschedule you...how does tomorrow sound?
"how does, 'I'm going to be in Las Vegas tomorrow' sound?" then I stormed out and never went back.
Funny how i read this yesterday, and then the same thing happens to me today.... Rescheduled til Jan 9th... wtf2003: 7/14 NJ ... 2006: 6/1 NJ, 6/3 NJ ... 2007: 8/5 IL ... 2008: 6/24 NY, 6/25 NY, 8/7 EV NJ ... 2009: 10/27 PA, 10/28 PA, 10/30 PA, 10/31 PA
2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD
2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA
2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s70 -
Would you say you're happy enough with your life now Frankie?0
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