'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with :
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her ''womanly'' parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in the heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's 22. He dresses like a beatnick throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
maybe you should quit your job and go to the seattle shows
-one thing to remember, always have a good time, all the time
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with :
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her ''womanly'' parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in the heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's 22. He dresses like a beatnick throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
maybe you should quit your job and go to the seattle shows
Well played.
Believe me, when I was growin up, I thought the worst thing you could turn out to be was normal, So I say freaks in the most complementary way. Here's a song by a fellow freak - E.V
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with :
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her ''womanly'' parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in the heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's 22. He dresses like a beatnick throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
LOL!
That made me laugh.
You left out Fred!
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Dude, what are you complaining about? You disappear with both women for several minutes at a time during each episode.
Brilliant thread!
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Dude, what are you complaining about? You disappear with both women for several minutes at a time during each episode.
Oh, don't even get me started on this.
It's not nearly as exciting as it sounds. We usually just spend our time looking for the stoner and his dumb dog because the idiots somehow manage to get lost in just about every environment possible. Any hope of mating with the hot chick is ruled out when you actually try to strike a conversation with her. And I don't even know what the other one does, she just stands there and analyzes soil samples and shit, as if it's at all relevant to the problem at hand.
If this doesn't scream "badass," then I don't know what does.
Gary Busey playing Fred? :twisted:
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Comments
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
Hysterical post!
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/20 ... _telefilm/
maybe you should quit your job and go to the seattle shows
Well played.
LOL!
That made me laugh.
You left out Fred!
I was thinking what the hell does this guy do?......drive around and solve mysteries and shit...ha
LOL!
Brilliant thread!
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
thank you.
Charlotte 03
Asheville 04
Atlanta 12
Greenville 16, Columbia 16
Seattle 18
Nashville 22
Ohana Festival 24 x2
It's not nearly as exciting as it sounds. We usually just spend our time looking for the stoner and his dumb dog because the idiots somehow manage to get lost in just about every environment possible. Any hope of mating with the hot chick is ruled out when you actually try to strike a conversation with her. And I don't even know what the other one does, she just stands there and analyzes soil samples and shit, as if it's at all relevant to the problem at hand.
the orange ascot
LOL!
Or was it Blue? :?: :?:
Scooby snacks are magic mushrooms . . . Don't ask me how I know
If this doesn't scream "badass," then I don't know what does.
Gary Busey playing Fred? :twisted:
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2