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I chose Pearl Jam over my friend's wedding

youngsteryoungster Boston Posts: 6,576
edited August 2009 in The Porch
Long story short, my friend is getting married in Chicago next month. I live in Boston so this would have meant flying there to attend. I had all intentions of going until they announced the Chicago shows for August. I bought tickets and airfare etc for this weekend to attend the show. At this point I hadn't gotten an invite, I was only told what day it would be. I never commited to go, either, just kind of said I will do my best. The invite came 2 weeks after the tix were bought. I called and said I had to be in class that weekend for a first aid course. (Not really a lie, just the first aid course is a few weeks after.) So I kind of feel bad but told her I would make a special trip to see her and give her her gift in person. Can you guess which weekend I chose? I will be seeing her and her fiance this weekend and enjoying a killer show at the same time. For me it is a win win situation. I'm sure there are some of you who would have done the same thing, no?
He who forgets will be destined to remember.

9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • cannotstaylongcannotstaylong Posts: 668
    No.
    5/28/06 - Camden, NJ
    5/30/06 - Washington, DC
    6/22/08 - Washington, DC
    10/31/09 - Philadelphia, PA
    8/5/16 - Fenway Park
    Temple of the Dog - 11/5/2016 - Philadelphia, PA
    7/1/2018 - Prague
    7/3/2018 - Kraków
    7/5/2018 - Berlin
  • 1STmammal2wearPants1STmammal2wearPants Worcester, MA Posts: 2,949
    you terrible human being.
    2003 Mansfield III 
    2004 Boston I 
    2006 Boston I 
    2008 Bonnaroo, Hartford, Mansfield I 
    2010 Hartford 
    2013 Worcester I, Worcester II, Hartford 
    2016 Bonnaroo, Fenway I, Fenway II 
    2018 Fenway I, Fenway II 
    2021 Sea.Hear.Now
    2022 Camden
    2024 MSG I, Fenway I, Fenway II
  • PJFAN_seattlePJFAN_seattle Posts: 2,965
    edited August 2009
    If it was a more casual friend yes, if it was my best friend no way hosay
    Post edited by PJFAN_seattle on
    Shows:
    Seattle Key Arena 9-21-2009
    Seattle Key Arena 9-22-2009
  • on2legson2legs Posts: 15,472
    Just walk away in shame and never come back.
    1996: Randall's Island 2  1998: East Rutherford | MSG 1 & 2  2000: Cincinnati | Columbus | Jones Beach 1, 2, & 3 | Boston 1 | Camden 1 & 2 2003: Philadelphia | Uniondale | MSG 1 & 2 | Holmdel  2005: Atlantic City 1  2006: Camden 1 | East Rutherford 1 & 2 2008: Camden 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Newark (EV)  2009: Philadelphia 1, 2 & 4  2010: Newark | MSG 1 & 2  2011: Toronto 1  2013: Wrigley Field | Brooklyn 2 | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2015: Central Park  2016: Philadelphia 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Fenway Park 2 | MSG (TOTD)  2017: Brooklyn (RnR HOF)  2020: MSG | Asbury Park  2021: Asbury Park  2022: MSG | Camden | Nashville  2024: MSG 1 & 2 (#50) | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2025: Raleigh


  • voodoopugvoodoopug Posts: 1,011
    I can't condone that action. I'd be upset and this would threaten my friendship if a buddy of mine intentionally did this.
    There's Pearl Jam, The Rolling Stones, Chuck Berry, Robert Johnson......and then everybody else.
  • youngsteryoungster Boston Posts: 6,576
    PJ_kidd_9-21-22 wrote:
    If it was a more casual friend yes, if it was my best friend no way.

    It is a casual friend. She lives halfway across the country and I haven't seen her since 2006. We talk on the phone from time to time which is why I am not having regrets about it.
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • mvwmvw Posts: 1,693
    I think you made a wise choice.
  • PJFAN_seattlePJFAN_seattle Posts: 2,965
    cropduster82 wrote:
    PJ_kidd_9-21-22 wrote:
    If it was a more casual friend yes, if it was my best friend no way.

    It is a casual friend. She lives halfway across the country and I haven't seen her since 2006. We talk on the phone from time to time which is why I am not having regrets about it.

    Eh yah then definately don't feel bad. It's not like you've been best friends since you were five years old. I woulda done the same thing
    Shows:
    Seattle Key Arena 9-21-2009
    Seattle Key Arena 9-22-2009
  • tsaraxtsarax Buffalo, NY Posts: 245
    I wouldn't worry about it. Eddie did the same thing himself when PJ came to Hamilton, ON in 2005.

    :)
    05-02-03 Buffalo; 07-12-03 Hershey; 09-13-05 Hamilton; 09-19-05 Toronto; 05-10-06 Toronto; 06-27-08 Hartford; 08-21-09 Toronto; 05-09-10 Cleveland; 05-10-10 Buffalo; 09-11-11 Toronto; 09-15-11 Hamilton; 07-16-13 London; 05-10-16 Toronto
  • brucebruce Posts: 384
    You people are way too tough onthe OP. Would I skip a casual friend's wedding? He'll yes. Would I skip a close friend's wedding? Maybe. The guys are making making music and touring less often. Unless your friend who is getting married doesn't have any other friends, I'd say go to a show.
    Writing checks that others pay.....

  • CantKeepmedownCantKeepmedown Portland, Maine Posts: 3,071
    I got no issues with that.

    2003, my buddy calls from Florida on Wednesday saying he has an extra HOB ticket. Just have to get to Florida, and everything else is taken care of. A good friend of mine (both bride and groom) were getting married on that same Saturday.

    I didn't hesitate. I booked airfare for Florida and made the arrangements. I called my friends and explained the situation to them. Best part, they were quite understanding. They knew how big a fan I was, and I told them how it was a small club show, blah, blah, blah. They gave me their blessing.

    If you're not life long, absolute best friends, I don't see what the issue is. If it's a big wedding, it's not like they'll miss you. They'll be concentrating on other things, not "man, I can't believe so and so didn't show up"

    If it were me, and the roles were reversed, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.
  • A satellite forever orbitingA satellite forever orbiting Posts: 1,888
    good choice. weddings are lame, self-indulgent and wasteful. they'll probably get divorced in a few years anyway.
    If nothing is everything, I'll have it all
  • mydogmookieblaylockmydogmookieblaylock Posts: 2,996
    its your friends fault - im not sure how but if you can find a way to blame your friend you should. That always works 8-)
  • ogre1213ogre1213 Posts: 401
    i got sooo lucky

    one of my closest friends whom i knew forever is getting married october 29. I definitely couldnt ditch the wedding to goto a PJ show, but its great cuz im going to all 4 philly shows oct 27,28 , 30, 31 but in between all that on the 29th ill be getting ripped and singing and dancing at a joyous celebration for a great friend.... its gonna be a crazy week!
    Some die just to live
  • asgoodasedasgoodased Posts: 109
    I went to a PJ concert instead of the "rehersal dinner" (i went to the actual rehersal) for a wedding I was in. I still hear about it from time to time.
    I am right by your side...
  • j-bugj-bug Posts: 272
    :shock:

    when do you plan to sleep?
    Seek,
    Find be yourself.
    Don't follow the herd.
    Don't repeat in spite of the encores.
    Be yourself.
    Otherwise you'll bore us.
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    It's time to re-evaluate your life priorities if you choose a concert over a friend's wedding.

    I'd be hurt, to say the least.
  • The ChampThe Champ Posts: 4,063
    Jeanwah wrote:
    It's time to re-evaluate your life priorities if you choose a concert over a friend's wedding.

    I'd be hurt, to say the least.

    It's just an acquaintance basically..Don't worry about it, Kenny..rock out with your balls out and enjoy the show ;) ..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
  • Keep on JamminKeep on Jammin Posts: 377
    CantKeepmedown wrote:
    I got no issues with that.

    2003, my buddy calls from Florida on Wednesday saying he has an extra HOB ticket. Just have to get to Florida, and everything else is taken care of. A good friend of mine (both bride and groom) were getting married on that same Saturday.

    I didn't hesitate. I booked airfare for Florida and made the arrangements. I called my friends and explained the situation to them. Best part, they were quite understanding. They knew how big a fan I was, and I told them how it was a small club show, blah, blah, blah. They gave me their blessing.

    If you're not life long, absolute best friends, I don't see what the issue is. If it's a big wedding, it's not like they'll miss you. They'll be concentrating on other things, not "man, I can't believe so and so didn't show up"

    If it were me, and the roles were reversed, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

    Are they still speaking with you? I wouldn't.
  • 12345AGNST112345AGNST1 Posts: 4,906
    Im a dick head, I missed my SISTERS wedding for an INCUBUS concert. Not even Pearl Jam.....

    But it was a crappy wedding, she got married at the local police dept or whatever it was and had her "reception" at olive garden. She really didnt give a shit about her wedding she just wanted to be married.
    5/28/06, 6/27/08, 10/28/09, 5/18/10, 5/21/10
    8/7/08, 6/9/09
  • RobbieC2008RobbieC2008 Posts: 432
    I am getting married New Years Eve and am praying that Pearl Jam doesn't do a New Years Eve show @ MSG...there would been some serious negotiations to have the wedding switched to the garden ( I do have several amazing hookups including myself @ the garden)....BTW, My Morning Jacket @ MSG last NYE was probably the greatest NYE of my life, I wasn't that into them, until that show which put me over the top, now they are one of my faves....please no MSG on NYE this year Pj..although we are honeymooning in Jamaica from Jan 2-10th if you guys want to play a show there that would work
  • ogre1213ogre1213 Posts: 401
    j-bug wrote:
    :shock:

    when do you plan to sleep?

    if youre talking to me... i dont know, im taking off of work the 30th so maybe when im hung over ill sleep in late on the 30th... its gonna be awesome!!
    Some die just to live
  • marcosmarcos Posts: 2,112
    It cost your friend less money or they were probably able to invite someone else in your place that they wanted. They were either happy or didn't notice you were not there. Though you may have missed dancing to Firehouse's I've Finally Found The Love of a Lifetime, which is always fun.
  • 8181 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    should have told her to schedule her wedding for sat august 22nd. duh
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • CantKeepmedownCantKeepmedown Portland, Maine Posts: 3,071
    Keep on Jammin wrote:
    CantKeepmedown wrote:
    I got no issues with that.

    2003, my buddy calls from Florida on Wednesday saying he has an extra HOB ticket. Just have to get to Florida, and everything else is taken care of. A good friend of mine (both bride and groom) were getting married on that same Saturday.

    I didn't hesitate. I booked airfare for Florida and made the arrangements. I called my friends and explained the situation to them. Best part, they were quite understanding. They knew how big a fan I was, and I told them how it was a small club show, blah, blah, blah. They gave me their blessing.

    If you're not life long, absolute best friends, I don't see what the issue is. If it's a big wedding, it's not like they'll miss you. They'll be concentrating on other things, not "man, I can't believe so and so didn't show up"

    If it were me, and the roles were reversed, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

    Are they still speaking with you? I wouldn't.

    We're still very good friends, yes. Thanks for asking.

    And you know what? Not once, ever, have they said, "I can't believe you skipped our wedding to go to Florida for a Pearl Jam concert"
  • pjfan_lempjfan_lem Posts: 6
    I missed one of my good friend's weddings back in 2003 to go see PJ for the first time in Toronto. I regret nothing! To make up for it I helped decorate the hall and church and went to the rehersal instead.

    Karma also kinda kicked me in the ass that day too (quite literally accutally) as while waiting in line to pick up my 10C tickets, i slipped on a step and sprained both knees and both ankles, but as it was Eddie and the boys, I refused to seek out medical attention, suffered through the pain, enjoyed what is still the BEST concert I've ever seen, and then spent weeks after recovering on the couch :)

    My friend still loves me and doesn't hold it against me at all.
    Molson Amphitheatre, Toronto - Jun 28, 2003; Delta Plex, Grand Rapids - Oct 03, 2004; Memorial Auditorium, Kitchener - Sep 11, 2005; John Labatt Centre, London - Sep 12, 2005; Copps Coliseum, Hamilton - Sep 13, 2005; Air Canada Centre, Toronto - Sep 19, 2005; Eddie Vedder Solo Massey Hall, Toronto - 13 August 2008; Air Canada Centre, Toronto - Sep 11, 2011; Air Canada Centre, Toronto - Sep 12, 2011; Copps Coliseum, Hamilton - Sep 15, 2011


  • blueeyedevilblueeyedevil Posts: 173
    Would anybody in Pearl Jam choose to see you over going to a wedding that THEY were invited to? Answer that, and you'll know where YOUR loyalty should be as well. Hope you don't lose a friend over going to a show. Just remember that if you are ever in a bad situation in life, your friends and family will be the ones who help you get back on your feet. Pearl Jam cares about their fans, but it's not like they will be there to lend you money, listen to your troubles, or call you to see how you are doing.

    Pearl Jam won't notice if you don't attend a concert, but your friend will notice that you didn't make the wedding.

    Just sayin'.
    Philly-4/28/03, Holmdel-7/14/03, Reading-10/1/04, Philly-10/3/05, Camden-5/27/06, Camden-5/28/05, Camden-6/19/08, Camden-6/20/08, MSG- 6/25/08
  • Indifference71Indifference71 Chicago Posts: 14,884
    ogre1213 wrote:
    i got sooo lucky

    one of my closest friends whom i knew forever is getting married october 29. I definitely couldnt ditch the wedding to goto a PJ show, but its great cuz im going to all 4 philly shows oct 27,28 , 30, 31 but in between all that on the 29th ill be getting ripped and singing and dancing at a joyous celebration for a great friend.... its gonna be a crazy week!

    Now that is going to be an awesome week.
  • Brain Of JeremyBrain Of Jeremy Posts: 135
    cropduster82 wrote:
    Long story short, my friend is getting married in Chicago next month. I live in Boston so this would have meant flying there to attend. I had all intentions of going until they announced the Chicago shows for August. I bought tickets and airfare etc for this weekend to attend the show. At this point I hadn't gotten an invite, I was only told what day it would be. I never commited to go, either, just kind of said I will do my best. The invite came 2 weeks after the tix were bought. I called and said I had to be in class that weekend for a first aid course. (Not really a lie, just the first aid course is a few weeks after.) So I kind of feel bad but told her I would make a special trip to see her and give her her gift in person. Can you guess which weekend I chose? I will be seeing her and her fiance this weekend and enjoying a killer show at the same time. For me it is a win win situation. I'm sure there are some of you who would have done the same thing, no?

    I think as long as you didn't RSVP and then back out it isn't that bad. You make you own decisions and live with them, nobody else dose.

    IMO, I think the parents that were (or still are) ditching there kids on Halloween for the show are much worse people then you :D
  • covered in blisscovered in bliss chi-caw-go Posts: 1,332
    My daughter and I are skipping my cousin's wedding for the San Diego PJ show.

    Blueeyeddevil's comment was excellent but if it's not a good friend or close family, I dont have a problem with it. I'm not at all close to this cousin and I'm not speaking to my sis and mom right now so going to the wedding would be drama-filled and a complete waste of time and money. My cousin only invited me because she 'had' to.. I'm 'family'. Gag.

    I don't think your friend is going to think "I wish cropduster was here' on her wedding day. You make it seem like you're not close. Don't worry about it.
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