OK settle down. If you lead a guy on for a month, get pretty close to him, have your friends call him to make sure that he's meeting up with you and that you're excited to see him, and then turn around and sleep with his best friend knowing that this best friend is in a relationship of 4 years with another girl (and you just met the other girlfriend a week ago), then that's dirty. If you can justify this behavior, then we clearly don't see eye to eye. In no way was that comment made to deflect blame away from my friend (if I can even call him that anymore) and onto her, but I'm not feeling too great about her at the moment.
Reverse roles and put yourself in my shoes. If a guy did that to you, I'm sure you'd have a few choice words for him.
shitty? yes.
whorish? no.
therein lies the difference.
there are TWO people to balme in this situation - your friend and this girl, alcohol is no excuse....and neither aremworth your time. as to the other girl in the relationship with the shit friend, well...i am not one for telling tales. let her find out on her own. hard lesson learned, but move on.
shitty? yes.
whorish? no.
therein lies the difference.
there are TWO people to balme in this situation - your friend and this girl, alcohol is no excuse....and neither aremworth your time. as to the other girl in the relationship with the shit friend, well...i am not one for telling tales. let her find out on her own. hard lesson learned, but move on.
Exactly. Ever hear of "shoot the messenger"?
As to the whore comment, I think he's made it clear he doesn't really believe that and simply said it in a moment of anger.
It is a shitty situation, but if I were you, lose them both. Your "friend" will no doubt screw you over any time it is to his benefit. As for the girl, drop her, while not your girlfriend, from what you wrote, it appeared as if she was giving you the signs she was into you. Try not to be a complete jerk, but you shuld tell her to stay away, or just ignore her from now on. Like some others said, if she went home with your friend knowing this situation, she is actually saving you from worse situations with her down the line. The "I was drunk line" is just their way of saying they don't care and hope that you won't either. It's really not an excuse, they knew what they were doing.
...got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul...
Some of us feel that you should tell her and some dont. Although I understand where all the comments are coming from and we all have different ideas on what to do. I cant agree with not telling the gf about his actions. She has every right to know what you know. Maybe its a US vs UK thing, but where I come from we look out for each other and dont worry about betraying people who have done wrong.
I have read repeatedly (in advice columns) that you should not tell the spouse/significant other that their spouse/partner/significant other is cheating. I understand that it will eventually become apparent.
After I was divorced, I was told where my husband really was (often) when he said he was working.
I personally wish I would have been told during the marriage. It would have ended years sooner. While we were married, it never became apparent where he was exactly, just that he was partying with friends, drunk all the time, mean to me, and getting stopped for DUI.
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Some of us feel that you should tell her and some dont. Although I understand where all the comments are coming from and we all have different ideas on what to do. I cant agree with not telling the gf about his actions. She has every right to know what you know. Maybe its a US vs UK thing, but where I come from we look out for each other and dont worry about betraying people who have done wrong.
By the sounds of things, telling the other woman wouldn't do much to change the friend's relationship anyway.
I have read repeatedly (in advice columns) that you should not tell the spouse/significant other that their spouse/partner/significant other is cheating. I understand that it will eventually become apparent.
After I was divorced, I was told where my husband really was (often) when he said he was working.
I personally wish I would have been told during the marriage. It would have ended years sooner. While we were married, it never became apparent where he was exactly, just that he was partying with friends, drunk all the time, mean to me, and getting stopped for DUI.
I have read repeatedly (in advice columns) that you should not tell the spouse/significant other that their spouse/partner/significant other is cheating. I understand that it will eventually become apparent.
After I was divorced, I was told where my husband really was (often) when he said he was working.
I personally wish I would have been told during the marriage. It would have ended years sooner. While we were married, it never became apparent where he was exactly, just that he was partying with friends, drunk all the time, mean to me, and getting stopped for DUI.
sorry to hear all that.... glad you got out...
i too luvcats!
thank you. I think alot of pj fans love kitty cats.
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Some of us feel that you should tell her and some dont. Although I understand where all the comments are coming from and we all have different ideas on what to do. I cant agree with not telling the gf about his actions. She has every right to know what you know. Maybe its a US vs UK thing, but where I come from we look out for each other and dont worry about betraying people who have done wrong.
Probably true. I've noticed there are a lot of differences in the way relationships are approached in the US vs UK. Here, the general rule is that you do not ever impose yourself on other people's business.
Comments
shitty? yes.
whorish? no.
therein lies the difference.
there are TWO people to balme in this situation - your friend and this girl, alcohol is no excuse....and neither aremworth your time. as to the other girl in the relationship with the shit friend, well...i am not one for telling tales. let her find out on her own. hard lesson learned, but move on.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Exactly. Ever hear of "shoot the messenger"?
As to the whore comment, I think he's made it clear he doesn't really believe that and simply said it in a moment of anger.
After I was divorced, I was told where my husband really was (often) when he said he was working.
I personally wish I would have been told during the marriage. It would have ended years sooner. While we were married, it never became apparent where he was exactly, just that he was partying with friends, drunk all the time, mean to me, and getting stopped for DUI.
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
sorry to hear all that.... glad you got out...
i too luvcats!
thank you. I think alot of pj fans love kitty cats.
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Probably true. I've noticed there are a lot of differences in the way relationships are approached in the US vs UK. Here, the general rule is that you do not ever impose yourself on other people's business.