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bbq season,ladies take note

dave grolschdave grolsch Posts: 730
edited July 2009 in All Encompassing Trip
New Standard Operating Procedures released today. Please learn.
BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to
refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man
volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables
and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary
cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three metre exclusion zone where the
exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the
interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and
asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL
AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread,
utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and
does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM
for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed
her 'night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction,
concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.






The copyright in this email belongs to me :mrgreen:
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,721
    :o:o:o:o
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • edvedderrocksedvedderrocks Posts: 1,001
    dave grolsch wrote:
    New Standard Operating Procedures released today. Please learn.
    BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to
    refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man
    volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
    Routine...
    (1) The woman buys the food.
    (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables
    and makes dessert.
    (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary
    cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
    (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three metre exclusion zone where the
    exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the
    interference of the woman.

    Here comes the important part:
    (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
    More routine...
    (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
    (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and
    asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.
    Important again:
    (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL
    AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
    More routine...
    (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread,
    utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
    (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and
    does the dishes.
    And most important of all:
    (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM
    for his cooking efforts.
    (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed
    her 'night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction,
    concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.


    This NEVER happens at my house! And never would. My husband actually has some respect for his wife and hangs with a bunch of guys who do the same... I take it you're not married...lol





    The copyright in this email belongs to me :mrgreen:
    "I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me. Guaranteed."

    1996 Merriweather, MD; 1998 Camden, NJ; 2000 Camden, NJ; 2003 Camden, NJ; 2005 Philly, PA; 2006 Camden, NJ(nights 1 & 2); 2006 Arnhem, NED; 2008 Camden, NJ(nights 1 & 2), Washington DC, MSG(night 2) 2009 Philly Spectrum Shows(nights 1,2,3,4) 2010 Hartford,CT and MSG(night 2)

    ED Solo - 2008 Washington DC, 2009 Philly, PA(nights 1&2)*Met Eddie =)
  • aNiMaLaNiMaL Posts: 7,117
    Besides the fact that grilling season started back around Groundhog's Day, that sounds about right. :mrgreen:
  • bettieleebettielee Posts: 74
    Men are animals.
  • dr0ptheleashdr0ptheleash Posts: 1,264
    Totally lacking all respect towards the woman of the household, but still hilarious.
  • teflonsteveteflonsteve Posts: 275
    bettielee wrote:
    Men are animals.

    and we just love cooking other animals! 8-)
    9/20/05 - Quebec City
    9/22/05 - Halifax
    6/19/08 - Camden 
    6/28/08 - Mansfield 
    9/07/11 - Montreal
    5/05/16 - Quebec City
  • purple_chick79purple_chick79 Posts: 570
    Hahahahahahahaaaaa!!! What a joke! My man bought ME an electric smokehouse so I could bbq up a storm. He's got no problems sitting back and letting me do my thing.
    Opinions are like assholes, everyones got one.

    "do gay midgets come out of the cupboard"
    ~CreedDisease~

    10/27/06
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,781
    Funny, after 2 years of researching every gas grill known to man, I went out today and bought a gas grill. Not only did I not spend $300-$500, I basically bought the cheapest one they had. The grill was already assembled at the store, so all I had to do was throw it in the car and bring it home. Even if the silly thing lasts 2-3 summers, I will be thrilled. For $99 I came home from the store, hit the ignition switch once, and 5 minutes later I was grilling and chilling.
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • aNiMaLaNiMaL Posts: 7,117
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    Funny, after 2 years of researching every gas grill known to man, I went out today and bought a gas grill.
    You lost me at "gas grill."

    Charcoal all the way. Slow down and grill.

    I will be lighting my grill in about 13 minutes from now. T-bone's in the marinade. Baked potato is n the oven, and the corn on the cob is prepped for the grill too.
  • CHANGEinWAVESCHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Stay away from my grill.... And I'm a woman!
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,781
    aNiMaL wrote:
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    Funny, after 2 years of researching every gas grill known to man, I went out today and bought a gas grill.
    You lost me at "gas grill."

    Charcoal all the way. Slow down and grill.

    I will be lighting my grill in about 13 minutes from now. T-bone's in the marinade. Baked potato is n the oven, and the corn on the cob is prepped for the grill too.
    I have been grilling with charcoal for 25+ years. I wanted the gas grill so I can cook year round.

    You lost me at T-bone....hehehehehehe

    RIBEYE all the way!!!!!!
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    It's all good regardless of the method, time of year or what's grilled! :D At the party we went to yesterday there were four big grills going nonstop for hours with everything under the sun. So good. Yum! :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,781
    wolfbear wrote:
    It's all good regardless of the method, time of year or what's grilled! :D At the party we went to yesterday there were four big grills going nonstop for hours with everything under the sun. So good. Yum! :)
    NICE!!!

    What was on the menu???
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,484
    i've always been a charcoal kind of guy, but i grill A LOT. so, it's getting a bit ridiculous spending that much on charcoal. i'm thinking of picking up a gas grill as well. and i'll save the charcoal grill & smoker for special occasions.
    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    wolfbear wrote:
    It's all good regardless of the method, time of year or what's grilled! :D At the party we went to yesterday there were four big grills going nonstop for hours with everything under the sun. So good. Yum! :)
    NICE!!!

    What was on the menu???
    We weren't even there for all of it but what I remember is: Oysters, shrimp wrapped in bacon, country style pork, chicken, corn, turkey, stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon, burgers, numerous sausages, other shrimp. All really, really tasty with marinades and great seasonings. :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,781
    mfc2006 wrote:
    i've always been a charcoal kind of guy, but i grill A LOT. so, it's getting a bit ridiculous spending that much on charcoal. i'm thinking of picking up a gas grill as well. and i'll save the charcoal grill & smoker for special occasions.
    I just wanted to be able to walk up to the grill....Hit the ignitor...

    and

    POOF!!!!!!

    There was flame and I was cooking....hehehehehe

    Now I can walk out the door.... thirty minutes before I have to go to work......and grill anything and everything...

    You cant do that with charcoal.....
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • purple_chick79purple_chick79 Posts: 570
    Charcoal all the way. I can't wait to move next month to get a bigger charcoal grill.
    Opinions are like assholes, everyones got one.

    "do gay midgets come out of the cupboard"
    ~CreedDisease~

    10/27/06
  • ArcticangelArcticangel Posts: 1,443
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?vkYOiDO3VMzw

    PS: Charcoal all the way.
    PJ: St. Paul 6.16.2003, St. Paul 6.26.2006, St. Paul 6.27.2006, Hartford 6.27.2008, Mansfield 6.28.2008, Mansfield 6.30.2008, Beacon Theater 7.1.2008, Toronto 8.21.2009, Chicago 8.23.2009, Chicago 8.24.2009, Philly 10.30.2009, Philly 10.31.2009, Columbus 5.6.2010, Noblesville 5.7.2010

    EV: Los Angeles 4.12.2008, Los Angeles 4.13.2008, Nashville 6.17.2009, Nashville 6.18.2009, Memphis 6.20.2009
  • Foxy MopFoxy Mop Posts: 2,823
    I so wanted to be offended by the original post, but hellz yeah I pretend "not to know how to use the grill" so I don't have to cook :mrgreen:

    Everyone knows I can grill, but they're nice enough to go along with my little scheme to give me a night off.

    Yay grilling season! :mrgreen::mrgreen:
    ☆ Wishlist Foundation ☆

    This is my kind of love...
    ♥♥♥
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    Foxy Mop wrote:
    I so wanted to be offended by the original post, but hellz yeah I pretend "not to know how to use the grill" so I don't have to cook :mrgreen:

    Everyone knows I can grill, but they're nice enough to go along with my little scheme to give me a night off.

    Yay grilling season! :mrgreen::mrgreen:
    I do think everyone 'gets' it! Just a fun time and great food to boot! :D We grill year-round here and ours died in the winter and we had a heck of a time finding one. :cry: It seems not everyone in the PNW does grill year-round. :o
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • Foxy MopFoxy Mop Posts: 2,823
    wolfbear wrote:
    Foxy Mop wrote:
    I so wanted to be offended by the original post, but hellz yeah I pretend "not to know how to use the grill" so I don't have to cook :mrgreen:

    Everyone knows I can grill, but they're nice enough to go along with my little scheme to give me a night off.

    Yay grilling season! :mrgreen::mrgreen:
    I do think everyone 'gets' it! Just a fun time and great food to boot! :D We grill year-round here and ours died in the winter and we had a heck of a time finding one. :cry: It seems not everyone in the PNW does grill year-round. :o

    Same here... I'd love it if we had the kind of climate (or if I had a nice deck) to do the year round thing too. Grilled food just has that awesome flavor. So who's the grillmaster, you or P?
    ☆ Wishlist Foundation ☆

    This is my kind of love...
    ♥♥♥
  • aNiMaLaNiMaL Posts: 7,117
    wolfbear wrote:
    Foxy Mop wrote:
    I so wanted to be offended by the original post, but hellz yeah I pretend "not to know how to use the grill" so I don't have to cook :mrgreen:

    Everyone knows I can grill, but they're nice enough to go along with my little scheme to give me a night off.

    Yay grilling season! :mrgreen::mrgreen:
    I do think everyone 'gets' it! Just a fun time and great food to boot! :D We grill year-round here and ours died in the winter and we had a heck of a time finding one. :cry: It seems not everyone in the PNW does grill year-round. :o
    I am there with ya!! I stop grilling around Christmas, and start back up again around Groundhog's Day.
  • aNiMaLaNiMaL Posts: 7,117
    mfc2006 wrote:
    i've always been a charcoal kind of guy, but i grill A LOT. so, it's getting a bit ridiculous spending that much on charcoal. i'm thinking of picking up a gas grill as well. and i'll save the charcoal grill & smoker for special occasions.
    I should own stock in Kingsford. :oops:
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    Foxy Mop wrote:
    wolfbear wrote:
    Foxy Mop wrote:
    I so wanted to be offended by the original post, but hellz yeah I pretend "not to know how to use the grill" so I don't have to cook :mrgreen:

    Everyone knows I can grill, but they're nice enough to go along with my little scheme to give me a night off.

    Yay grilling season! :mrgreen::mrgreen:
    I do think everyone 'gets' it! Just a fun time and great food to boot! :D We grill year-round here and ours died in the winter and we had a heck of a time finding one. :cry: It seems not everyone in the PNW does grill year-round. :o

    Same here... I'd love it if we had the kind of climate (or if I had a nice deck) to do the year round thing too. Grilled food just has that awesome flavor. So who's the grillmaster, you or P?
    Of course Paul! But seriously I shovel the snow so he can get to it in the winter! :lol:
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    aNiMaL wrote:
    wolfbear wrote:
    Foxy Mop wrote:
    I so wanted to be offended by the original post, but hellz yeah I pretend "not to know how to use the grill" so I don't have to cook :mrgreen:

    Everyone knows I can grill, but they're nice enough to go along with my little scheme to give me a night off.

    Yay grilling season! :mrgreen::mrgreen:
    I do think everyone 'gets' it! Just a fun time and great food to boot! :D We grill year-round here and ours died in the winter and we had a heck of a time finding one. :cry: It seems not everyone in the PNW does grill year-round. :o
    I am there with ya!! I stop grilling around Christmas, and start back up again around Groundhog's Day.
    Why stop though? :lol:
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,484
    wolfbear wrote:
    Why stop though? :lol:

    exactly! when i lived in Kansas City, i would stand outside in a blizzard & grill!
    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    mfc2006 wrote:
    wolfbear wrote:
    Why stop though? :lol:

    exactly! when i lived in Kansas City, i would stand outside in a blizzard & grill!
    Yep, put on a coat, but stuff on the grill, come in out of the weather, go out to turn it, come back in, go out when it's done! Great food! ;)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    A girl that likes charcoal grill cooking is my kind of girl. :)

    Gas grills suck.
  • Foxy MopFoxy Mop Posts: 2,823
    wolfbear wrote:
    Foxy Mop wrote:
    wolfbear wrote:
    I do think everyone 'gets' it! Just a fun time and great food to boot! :D We grill year-round here and ours died in the winter and we had a heck of a time finding one. :cry: It seems not everyone in the PNW does grill year-round. :o

    Same here... I'd love it if we had the kind of climate (or if I had a nice deck) to do the year round thing too. Grilled food just has that awesome flavor. So who's the grillmaster, you or P?
    Of course Paul! But seriously I shovel the snow so he can get to it in the winter! :lol:

    :D Awesome! That's a fair enough trade off - I'll have to use that one. I need to get my back deck done so I too can partake in your year round grilling. We had corn & veggies on the grill this weekend too.... yumm!
    ☆ Wishlist Foundation ☆

    This is my kind of love...
    ♥♥♥
  • patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    mfc2006 wrote:
    i've always been a charcoal kind of guy, but i grill A LOT. so, it's getting a bit ridiculous spending that much on charcoal. i'm thinking of picking up a gas grill as well. and i'll save the charcoal grill & smoker for special occasions.
    I just wanted to be able to walk up to the grill....Hit the ignitor...

    and

    POOF!!!!!!

    There was flame and I was cooking....hehehehehe

    Now I can walk out the door.... thirty minutes before I have to go to work......and grill anything and everything...

    You cant do that with charcoal.....


    Sure you can if you give yourself a couple extra mins. I don't soak the coals in fuel so it doesn't take that long for them to get nice and hot. Buy the bags on sale when they are on sale and its all good. :)

    Used to like gas grills but I'm a charcoal man now. :) A small smokey joe is perfect for me. :)
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