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I really need some help you guys...
So a few days ago I posted on here about how I've had a really rough year with my parents divorce, a couple family members dying, my problems with financial aid, and then my girlfriend of 3 years breaking up with me. And I asked every one to do me a favor and if they were going to the OKC, to really have a good time along with me.
Well.....now I'm in a little bit of a predicament. Because of my breakup with my girlfriend I'm having a lot of trouble listening to some of my favorite Pearl Jam songs. I mean lets face it, there are some really heart-wrenching PJ songs out there. And I am even having trouble to listening to 'Sirens', 'Sleeping By Myself', and 'Future Days' off of Lightning Bolt cause it all reminds me of her.
So can anyone give me advice on how I can get past the emotional obstructions in my head so that I can listen to my favorite band on a regular level again?
Please?
Well.....now I'm in a little bit of a predicament. Because of my breakup with my girlfriend I'm having a lot of trouble listening to some of my favorite Pearl Jam songs. I mean lets face it, there are some really heart-wrenching PJ songs out there. And I am even having trouble to listening to 'Sirens', 'Sleeping By Myself', and 'Future Days' off of Lightning Bolt cause it all reminds me of her.
So can anyone give me advice on how I can get past the emotional obstructions in my head so that I can listen to my favorite band on a regular level again?
Please?
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Really.. Go and jerk off. You'll be fine dude..... As long as you don't go and lose your hands in some crazy horrible accident or some shit, you'll always be able to jerk off. So stop worrying so much.... and jerk off more.
MLMF NYC
That is some awesome and true advice.
9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
Alpine Valley Resort is etched in my brain!!!
You are young, so 3 years is a significant chunk of your adult life. It's totally ok for it to hurt like hell for a bit, don't let anyone diminish the validity of your experience right now. I applaud you for reaching for a hand up. There are a ton of amazing people in this fanbase, just look at your last thread!
The last five years for me have been a roller coaster too. The worst pain I've ever known has mixed with some of my most epic life experiences and showed me feelings I thought I'd never be capable of feeling again. There were times that some of these songs ripped my heart out over and over, but they became cathartic eventually. Come Back always brings me to tears. But Unthought Known became a salve for my soul.
I encourage you to keep listening. If something is just too much, skip that one for that moment. Maybe write about what it's triggering in you and why, so you can release it a little at a time. But come back to it later. Keep your heart and your ears open for songs that can take on a new meaning for you. They may be the key. Find the ones that made you feel invincible before and go back to those. Play them loud!
You might not be able to listen to every song the way you used to. Some of those songs might always remind you of her. But as cliche as it sounds, time does help. So do friends, and physical activity. Doing physical activity with friends while listening to PJ?! Sounds like epic therapy to me.
Give yourself time. Keep your head up, countdown until the show you're going to, meet up with new people at the preparty and when you get to the show, rock out!
You'll be alright if you keep reaching out when you need help. I wish you the best.
Hang in there, WhyGo91, and check in here whenever you feel down because there are a lot of very cool people here. As for the songs, maybe this is a good time to explore some of the Pearl Jam you haven't been as fond of up until now. Find some new favorites, something different from your favorite band to give you a fresh perspective. Keep a sense of humor, reach out to friends, do something to ease the tension (I think Released1980 already covered that one ) Give it time and don't beat up on yourself. Good times will come around and you'll be glad when they do. Look back on the bad times and see them as ways you can build your character from them and make yourself stronger and then look for better things to come because you are stronger.
Really REALLY appreciate you taking the time to write this out and help me! You have no idea how all of these will probably help me. Thank you so much
PJ is that good. Give it a chance I know it will work. K Good Luck
Really.. Go and jerk off. You'll be fine dude..... As long as you don't go and lose your hands in some crazy horrible accident or some shit, you'll always be able to jerk off. So stop worrying so much.... and jerk off more.
brilliant. suddenly have the urge to go rub one out
Don't punish yourself even further by taking away one more thing you love. It's OK if you need to set them aside for awhile, but don't write them off off forever.
EV
Toronto Film Festival 9/11/2007, '08 - Toronto 1 & 2, '09 - Albany 1, '11 - Chicago 1
bro best piece of advice you'll ever get. unless the song is last kiss, dont stop listening to any of them
Of course. You are very welcome. I hope some of it can be helpful. This band and their music has been such a healing thing in my life. I was even contemplating just the other day how lucky I feel to be involved with this music right now as the band is appearing to move to a place of contentment as individuals, with a reverence for life itself and a passion for living it fully. It's been very inspiring.
I hope today was a better one for you!
Ya, let me release my creative essence in association with my negative thoughts. Eventually, I can teach myself to only have orgasms when I'm in a negative mind frame. Sounds like fun.
Just saying...
1998: Barrie
2000: Montreal, Toronto, Auburn Hills
2003: Cleveland, Buffalo, Toronto, Montreal
2004: Boston X2, Grand Rapids
2005: Kitchener, London, Hamilton, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto
2006: Toronto X2
2009: Toronto
2011: PJ20, Montreal, Toronto X2, Hamilton
2012: Manchester X2, Amsterdam X2, Prague, Berlin X2, Philadelphia, Missoula
2013: Pittsburg, Buffalo
2014: Milan, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin, Stockholm, Oslo, Detroit
2016: Ottawa, Toronto X2
2018: Padova, Rome, Prague, Krakow, Berlin, Barcelona
2023: Chicago X2
2024: Noblesville
Excellent!
Plus, can't go wrong with a Camaro(s).
Find the PJ songs that reflect your mood, skip the ones that dredge up the heartbreak. Listen to REM Shiny Happy People a couple of times.
Don't let her ruin your love of the band, if you do she wins.
Most importantly, Sorry to hear of all the bad, find the good you still have, focus on that. Don;t let the negative energy bring you down. It is not easy, but it is healthy.
There are many fish in the ocean, none like the first one, but better ones!
6/19/95 Red Rocks
9/11/98 MSG
11/19/12 EV solo Tulsa
7/19/13 Wrigley 10/19/13 Brooklyn 2 10/21/13 Philly 1 10/22/13 Philly 2 10/25/13 Hartford
10/08/14 Tulsa 10/09/14 Lincoln
9/26/15 New York City
4/16/16 Greenville 4/28/16 Philly 1 4/29/16 Philly 2 5/1/16 MSG 1 5/2/16 MSG 2 8/7/16 Fenway 2 8/20/16 Wrigley 1
4/7/17 RRHOF New York City
9/02/18 Fenway 1 9/04/2018 Fenway 2
9/18/21 Asbury Park
9/11/22 New York City
9/14/22 Camden
I hope the OP is doing OK now. Fourteen months can do wonders.