Getting punters to quit yakking through your set

FinsburyParkCarrots · March 2008

It doesn't matter how charismatic, virtuosic or messianic a musician is: there will be gigs where the audience think they're at a chimps' tea party. Now, I know these people paid money to enter, and furthermore think they're so highly evolved that they can talk and listen at the same time, but it can be a pain in the arse if you're up on stage looking down on jabberin' fools. It can be distracting to the musician: not in the sense that their egos are bruised by a lack of validation but that it's sometimes actually difficult to concentrate on the music with a load of gabbling going on. A little social hubbub is to be expected: no-one's at church. I mean, when there's a bit too much talk.

Every performer has had to deal with this. I bet even during the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus had to say, "Blessed be the ... oi, you two at the back. Shut the fakk up. I'm Beatitudin' up here. Keep quiet or you won't inherit nuthin'!"

So, how do you deal with this?

Pacomc79 · March 2008

bigger PA..

shout em down.

FinsburyParkCarrots · March 2008

Hahahaha, I can see it now:

"God, this is so loud!"

"What?"

"This is so loud!"

"Half past eight."

"What?"

"Sorry, I can't hear you. God this is so loud!"

"Just gone half past eight."

"Fuck this. Let's go somewhere else where we can talk. Does this musician think this is a gig or something? No consideration, some people!"

"I can't hear you."

"Oh, I had the reduction and they're much more manageable now."

"What?"

"Yes, they do get hot from time to time...."

JOEJOEJOE · March 2008

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

It doesn't matter how charismatic, virtuosic or messianic a musician is: there will be gigs where the audience think they're at a chimps' tea party. Now, I know these people paid money to enter, and furthermore think they're so highly evolved that they can talk and listen at the same time, but it can be a pain in the arse if you're up on stage looking down on jabberin' fools. It can be distracting to the musician: not in the sense that their egos are bruised by a lack of validation but that it's sometimes actually difficult to concentrate on the music with a load of gabbling going on. A little social hubbub is to be expected: no-one's at church. I mean, when there's a bit too much talk.

Every performer has had to deal with this. I bet even during the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus had to say, "Blessed be the ... oi, you two at the back. Shut the fakk up. I'm Beatitudin' up here. Keep quiet or you won't inherit nuthin'!"

So, how do you deal with this?

Its a hazzard of the biz....better a loud punter paying to see you, then a punter not coming to see you!

Come to a show in Los Angeles.....a great portion of the crowd got in on the guest list, and they are standing in the back, talking throughout the entire set.

lucylespian · March 2008

"What did he say ?"

He said , "Blessed are teh cheesemakers".

"What's so special about teh bloody cheesemakers"

Paid to see you ? Maybe ?

More like, went out to hang with friends and chat, and happened to be in the same place as you.
Not a reflection on your music, just an opinion on why people realyl go out.

We had a lecturer who used to shut people up by whispering.
PLaying more quietly is more likely to get people to quieten donw than playing louder is, but it depends on how quiet you really want things to be.
Probably not that quiet, I suspect.
I read an article recently on how infernally noisy resturants are becoming, and how it is desigen into them, because market researchers are convinced that noise equals success, so maybe you are doing really well,k and the noise is really a form of applause.

FinsburyParkCarrots · March 2008

Good points, Mr Lucy. In fact, some of the worst sets I've seen are those where a guitarist who is obviously using an electronic tuner, tunes up between songs in complete silence. It's not that the audience is being respectful, it's that he's sent them to sleep!

Anon · March 2008

Easier said than done Fins. You could try telling them in a loud scottish voice, “I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour, or shut the hell up!"

It could work.

DriftingByTheStorm · March 2008

One of the discs of The Who - Maximum R&B opens with Pete yelling at the crowd, something very appropriate here, to the effect of:

"Would you people shut up!?! This isn't your gandmothers Tea Party. Now, sit down, stand up, shut up, do bloody something, i don't care what, but just shut up! This is a rock and roll concert, not bloody Monteverdi!"

Maybe try something like that.

FinsburyParkCarrots · March 2008

DriftingByTheStorm wrote:

One of the discs of The Who - Maximum R&B opens with Pete yelling at the crowd, something very appropriate here, to the effect of:

"Would you people shut up!?! This isn't your gandmothers Tea Party. Now, sit down, stand up, shut up, do bloody something, i don't care what, but just shut up! This is a rock and roll concert, not bloody Monteverdi!"

Maybe try something like that.

I know that clip. Started one of the Monkeywrench radio sessions, right?

Pauk · March 2008

I like this is reaction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knPMGoWY7qQ

ianvomsaal · March 2008

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but dude you just need to get over it.
Musicans are paid to play music (most of the time simply "background music") while people drink and spend $$$$$$.
The majority of the time patrons are paying $$ to get in to a pub/club so they can drink and have fun with their friends (not listen to you, sorry).
Pubs/Clubs that pay live acts are supporting local music, and would rather have live music instead of playing the radio/jukebox or hiring a DJ.
Be very thankful they support local music and hired you (and not a DJ - we'd all be screwed if they did that).
I've been where you are, but I learned to get over - our job as musicians isn't to keep the place quiet.
A quiet club usually means an empty club, or an uneventful club, or a boring club, and a club that doesn't make $$$$$.
Most club owners won't hire back a band that can't keep a crowd, or bitches at the people that talk while they're playing music.
After all, those loud talkers are actually paying customers - the club is paying you - who do you think they'd prefer to keep.
Most patrons want to go to a place that's happening - not a quiet, empty, and boring place (or a place they get yelled at for talking).
Bottom line, we're paid to play music and keep people entertained and drinking and spending lots of $$$$$$, nothing more.
You'll just need to learn to tune them out - get yourself a decent monitor and it'll help to drown out most of the chatter you hear.

- Ian

FinsburyParkCarrots · March 2008

ianvomsaal wrote:

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but dude you just need to get over it.
Musicans are paid to play music (most of the time simply "background music") while people drink and spend $$$$$$.
The majority of the time patrons are paying $$ to get in to a pub/club so they can drink and have fun with their friends (not listen to you, sorry).
Pubs/Clubs that pay live acts are supporting local music, and would rather have live music instead of playing the radio/jukebox or hiring a DJ.
Be very thankful they support local music and hired you (and not a DJ - we'd all be screwed if they did that).
I've been where you are, but I learned to get over - our job as musicians isn't to keep the place quiet.
A quiet club usually means an empty club, or an uneventful club, or a boring club, and a club that doesn't make $$$$$.
Most club owners won't hire back a band that can't keep a crowd, or bitches at the people that talk while they're playing music.
After all, those loud talkers are actually paying customers - the club is paying you - who do you think they'd prefer to keep.
Most patrons want to go to a place that's happening - not a quiet, empty, and boring place (or a place they get yelled at for talking).
Bottom line, we're paid to play music and keep people entertained and drinking and spending lots of $$$$$$, nothing more.
You'll just need to learn to tune them out - get yourself a decent monitor and it'll help to drown out most of the chatter you hear.

- Ian

Hey, Mr Session Muso. It's a joke thread. Besides which, you might play "local clubs", but I don't.

the wolf · March 2008

ianvomsaal wrote:

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but dude you just need to get over it.
Musicans are paid to play music (most of the time simply "background music") while people drink and spend $$$$$$.
The majority of the time patrons are paying $$ to get in to a pub/club so they can drink and have fun with their friends (not listen to you, sorry).
Pubs/Clubs that pay live acts are supporting local music, and would rather have live music instead of playing the radio/jukebox or hiring a DJ.
Be very thankful they support local music and hired you (and not a DJ - we'd all be screwed if they did that).
I've been where you are, but I learned to get over - our job as musicians isn't to keep the place quiet.
A quiet club usually means an empty club, or an uneventful club, or a boring club, and a club that doesn't make $$$$$.
Most club owners won't hire back a band that can't keep a crowd, or bitches at the people that talk while they're playing music.
After all, those loud talkers are actually paying customers - the club is paying you - who do you think they'd prefer to keep.
Most patrons want to go to a place that's happening - not a quiet, empty, and boring place (or a place they get yelled at for talking).
Bottom line, we're paid to play music and keep people entertained and drinking and spending lots of $$$$$$, nothing more.
You'll just need to learn to tune them out - get yourself a decent monitor and it'll help to drown out most of the chatter you hear.

- Ian

at what point though do the club owners say "ya' know, the people dont really care about the band, fuck it, ill save some money and get a jukebox"

and all because the people wouldnt show some respect. im all for people having a great time while im up on stage, and i dont pretend to be the reason they are there. but at the same time, some just take it too far.
they want to be the center of attention, and at that point it becomes a huge fucking distraction, one to which i have told them to shut the fuck up.
most club owners actually have thanked me, because they were making it not fun for the other patrons.

anyway, i think he was just kinda joking in the original post.

ianvomsaal · March 2008

the wolf wrote:

anyway, i think he was just kinda joking in the original post.

Yeah I kinda got that - I wasn't being snide, I was being a bit retorical, hence my last sentence:
"get yourself a decent monitor and it'll help to drown out most of the chatter you hear".
So sorry I

didn't put smiley

faces everywhere

to acknowledge this

Mr. Finsbury Park

Geeze . . . lighten up a little! This forum is way to serious most of the time.

who's_pearljam? · March 2008

One of my old bands did a little mini acoustic tour with another band, Huffamoose. I played with them on acoustic guitar. They had a really cool up and down volume dynamic, and the lead singer Craig had this scratchy cool quiet voice. When it came to a quiet moment and there was a musical pause, he would let it sit as a pause and I would quit playing while a few people were talking, then he'd yell,
"SHUT THE F*** UP!" Then pause, and go into a quiet phrase again. It's so out of character for him so it would shock everyone!

It never failed to get everyones' attention and a laugh.

lucylespian · March 2008

Or, with your nick, you could offer to show just why they call you FPC..................

(is this where I admit that I used to think you were a carrot farmer from an estate called Finsbury PArk ?? That was before I realised there was a festival or summat at FP, then it suddenly became clear)

StuffnJunk · March 2008

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

you might play "local clubs", but I don't.

so where do you play? stadiums?

if you play original songs no one has ever heard, you run the risk of the crowd not giving a shit.

if you want to get a guaranteed response from the crowd, you can always count on Sweet Caroline, Livin on a Prayer, Blister in the Sun, etc, etc, etc.

do you have any samples of your music for us to hear? we can let you know if the crowd's apathy was justified or not.

FinsburyParkCarrots · March 2008

StuffnJunk wrote:

so where do you play? stadiums?

if you play original songs no one has ever heard, you run the risk of the crowd not giving a shit.

if you want to get a guaranteed response from the crowd, you can always count on Sweet Caroline, Livin on a Prayer, Blister in the Sun, etc, etc, etc.

do you have any samples of your music for us to hear? we can let you know if the crowd's apathy was justified or not.

Who said I was talking about my gigs in my original post? At no point did I say such a thing. I said we've all had to deal with noisy audiences, in comic fashion. That's a presumption and a half! I was starting up a general thread to hear general, humorous stories about dealing with audiences. Read the original post again, and then come back with a remotely valuable comment.

As for my music, your approval or disapproval is irrelevant, and not the point of the topic.

FinsburyParkCarrots · March 2008

StuffnJunk wrote:

if you want to get a guaranteed response from the crowd, you can always count on Sweet Caroline, Livin on a Prayer, Blister in the Sun, etc, etc, etc.
.

Is that your setlist then?

norm · March 2008

quit yer bitchin' and play some dire straits....;)

:D

FinsburyParkCarrots · March 2008

cutback wrote:

quit yer bitchin' and play some dire straits....;) :D

Yeah.

Getting punters to quit yakking through your set

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