Green Disease - Relatives Demanding Money

JF116983 · May 2022

Yeah I don’t think it’s loving to expect your relative to buy and rent out to you risking his kid’s/family home regardless of potential rent propositions - during Covid many landlords could not collect rent and/or evict so being a landlord is not something to take lightly - if you have a fully paid house it may change the risk equation for you but not with a 30year on the line. It’s unloving to even request it and then factor the not inviting relatives to functions when you are turned down and it shows they can not be trusted.

mace1229 · May 2022

Merkin Baller said:

Cropduster-80 said:

JF116983 said:

Cropduster-80 said:

JF116983 said:

To add more context another relative (same side) asks for me to take out mortgage on home for 100ks so he can buy a house, again did not do it, wasn’t invited to family function shortly after.

Well I would do that sort of. I’d buy the house and rent it to them. Rent covers the mortgage and the appreciation is all yours.

Ultimately if I can make it work in my favour, I’m all in.

If you are taking out the mortgage, it’s your house. Not even sure they would qualify for a mortgage on their own if that much money came from someone else like you gifting it/loaning it or whatever, as the bank would know

So what if this relative stops paying rent and then you lose house? It seems unloving to me to even ask that it’s not like I am a billionaire with multiple houses, this is my kids house with a 30 year note on it. I never asked anyone for help with my down payment I worked for it and saved it was too much to ask and not fair to those relatives and I had in-laws that could have taken loan out for me but I never asked given so many things could happen where I may default and then my in-laws home would be in jeopardy.

I guess you would still have a rental property.

TBH if you can get a second mortgage and you can rent it to make it as close to cost neutral as possible, It’s not a bad place to put money anyway. Now that interest rates are high, maybe less so

Usually coming up with that second down payment is the hard part, after that you’ve got a fairly dependable ROI

I hear what you're saying, and you're not wrong, but on the other hand, evicting a relative & putting them out on the street with nowhere to live would be a way worse look than not buying the house in the first place IMO.

Worse look for them for putting you in that situation.. No logical person would fault you for it if they stopped paying rent. You have to pay the mortgage, they can’t expect free rent if that were the situation.

Merkin Baller · May 2022

mace1229 said:

Merkin Baller said:

Cropduster-80 said:

JF116983 said:

Cropduster-80 said:

JF116983 said:

To add more context another relative (same side) asks for me to take out mortgage on home for 100ks so he can buy a house, again did not do it, wasn’t invited to family function shortly after.

Well I would do that sort of. I’d buy the house and rent it to them. Rent covers the mortgage and the appreciation is all yours.

Ultimately if I can make it work in my favour, I’m all in.

If you are taking out the mortgage, it’s your house. Not even sure they would qualify for a mortgage on their own if that much money came from someone else like you gifting it/loaning it or whatever, as the bank would know

So what if this relative stops paying rent and then you lose house? It seems unloving to me to even ask that it’s not like I am a billionaire with multiple houses, this is my kids house with a 30 year note on it. I never asked anyone for help with my down payment I worked for it and saved it was too much to ask and not fair to those relatives and I had in-laws that could have taken loan out for me but I never asked given so many things could happen where I may default and then my in-laws home would be in jeopardy.

I guess you would still have a rental property.

TBH if you can get a second mortgage and you can rent it to make it as close to cost neutral as possible, It’s not a bad place to put money anyway. Now that interest rates are high, maybe less so

Usually coming up with that second down payment is the hard part, after that you’ve got a fairly dependable ROI

I hear what you're saying, and you're not wrong, but on the other hand, evicting a relative & putting them out on the street with nowhere to live would be a way worse look than not buying the house in the first place IMO.

Worse look for them for putting you in that situation.. No logical person would fault you for it if they stopped paying rent. You have to pay the mortgage, they can’t expect free rent if that were the situation.

No logical person would fault you for not buying someone a house to live in under the threat of extortion either.

At least in that scenario you're not partly responsible for putting a relative out onto the street.

tempo_n_groove · May 2022

I'm here for the money...

Serious tip, you don't give people money. If you have the means to help someone, of course you do that but to demand it?

Damn.

JF116983 · May 2022

Like I said the demand or I will disown you part is sole reason I did not give money. I would have given the money no questions asked if it was an emergency and asked for in a different way. I remember to this day that relative had rehearsed what was said and put threat of disowning if I didn’t give it, I told that relative no

tempo_n_groove · May 2022

JF116983 said:

Like I said the demand or I will disown you part is sole reason I did not give money. I would have given the money no questions asked if it was an emergency and asked for in a different way. I remember to this day that relative had rehearsed what was said and put threat of disowning if I didn’t give it, I told that relative no

Beware any relative offering to go to a TV show... You might be set up for Springer or something!

mca47 · May 2022

If a legit health scare came up or something really bad happened that was out of their control....sure.
That's about it.

I'm just waiting for the day when my girl's mom (who is completely irresponsible with money and decisions in life) asks me for money. I literally cannot wait! It's going to be so much fun!

JF116983 · May 2022

I wonder what the guys in PJ go through, they must have these type of relatives demand money from them all the time. I bet their numbers are closely guarded from such ones.

Loujoe · May 2022

If I was related to pj members I'd let it be known I'm a pick, setlist, drum stick, vinyl, poster junkie. And wait...

PJ_Soul · May 2022

JF116983 said:

So I have some relatives that see me as a cash cow and demand/ask for crazy money. Some years back a relative demanding 800 bucks for a non-emergency situation, the demanding part turned me off as the relative threatens to disown me if I did not give the money for something that could have waited.

I had the money but said no because I don’t believe in extortion for a relative to love me, what would you guys have done/think?

I'd write that person out of my life, without a doubt.

PJ_Soul · May 2022

JF116983 said:

To add more context another relative (same side) asks for me to take out mortgage on home for 100ks so he can buy a house, again did not do it, wasn’t invited to family function shortly after.

That is way more insane than the first scenario, omg. The fact that you saying no leads to them snubbing you is pathetic on their parts. I hope you married into a good family at least?? I would personally not have anything to do with family who acted like this. I have no qualms cutting family out of my life if they are assholes.

The only time lending or giving money to family seems normal to me is when parents do it for their own children. Otherwise, it seems like trouble.

hedonist · May 2022

Never mix money and family.

(unless you’re a masochist)

Green Disease - Relatives Demanding Money

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