Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

dankind said:

I never want to say that I’m on Team @OffSheGoes35 ...

... but ...

... guess who had a boyfriend when I met her 20 years ago?

My wife. 

You can pretty much always count on most guys, especially guys in their 20s, to fuck it up when they’ve got a good woman. 

I just hung out with her in the classes we shared together; brought her little chocolates I bought for her during our breaks; paid attention to everything she said, wrote, etc.; tried not to gawk too much at her physical attributes (I didn’t always succeed and was busted on it a couple of times); asked her out for a drink when one of our semesters had ended; and now this. 

I understand and admire the respectful path—I respected the fact that she had a boyfriend as well—but if you think there’s really something there (as I did with my wife) and you bide you’re time and play your cards right, you never know what might happen. 

Even if she has lucked out and found herself a good man who loves and respects her and treats her well, you might pick up two friends. One would assume that if her partner is the right partner for her, then he’s probably as good a friend to have as she might be. 

One hint that my wife was also interested in me and that her current romantic situation wasn’t ideal was that she never once wanted to introduce me to her boyfriend at the time. That meant he was either the jealous type, the wandering type or just an embarrassing dick or all three (all three often go hand in hand in hand). 

That's filled me with hope as I am there are two girls at uni I really like who have boyfriends.
One has the same tastes in music as me, likes all the old 60s music like me.
The other is the one I met last week.
She was just talking to me on Facebook as she was having trouble with an assignment and I helped her out, she said she owes me a chocolate or coffee. I said no need but to pay it forwards. She has 'my everything' captioned on a photo with her and her boyfriend. So I guess she's pretty much madly in love.
I like them but at the same time I wouldn't want them to break up and go through the pain of that for my needs and desires. That's selfish.
If they happen to end up single then I guess we'll see. 
I can only just continue being who I am, maybe one day I'll find love. I hope. Hope is all I have.

I had a boyfriend when my husband started talking to me. The boyfriend was a very dissatisfying relationship. M very quietly and very slowly started moving a lil closer in class. First, he sat behind me. His first question? "How much for that book?" I still remember. "$55."  The next class, he sat down the table from me. Each class, he moved one seat closer. Finally he got the courage. He asked me out. My response? "I don't mean to shoot you down or anything, but technically I am still dating someone."  I went home, spoke to the dopey dude I was dating  Nothing was any better. I broke up with him. The next week I asked M out.  25+ years later...

Hang in there. Give things time.

Thoughts_Arrive said:

If there's a girl in a relationship and she has a crush on you, would you be reluctant to date her if she broke up?

No

What's to say she won't have a crush on another guy if we end up going out together?

Not a damn thing. 

I don't know, I'm pretty loyal to those who I love and if a girl kind of cheats with me then what does it say about her?

Sorry to answer a question with a question, but what’s “kind of cheats”? If you’re referring to a woman developing an attraction to another person while she’s in an unfulfilling relationship with someone and then acting on that attraction, that says she’s a fucking boss who knows what she wants and goes after it. 

Or should I maybe think of the fact there could be a lot of unhappiness in her current relationship like with a dick of a boyfriend?

“Thinking is for the gloopy ones.”

Answers bolded. 

Thoughts_Arrive said:

If there's a girl in a relationship and she has a crush on you, would you be reluctant to date her if she broke up?
What's to say she won't have a crush on another guy if we end up going out together?
I don't know, I'm pretty loyal to those who I love and if a girl kind of cheats with me then what does it say about her?
Or should I maybe think of the fact there could be a lot of unhappiness in her current relationship like with a dick of a boyfriend?

Do you consider a crush a cheat? I have had crushes, but that doesn't mean I was unfaithful. Being attracted to someone doesn't mean it was a physical attraction at all. You can crush on someone who can be as ugly as a mud fence but makes beautiful works that make you stop dead in your tracks. 

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I guess I'm being to black and white.
We're human after all and sexual beings with biological urges.
I'm thinking a physical, sexual crush.
If I had a girl I loved I wouldn't want to look at other women or care for them.
I've never been a relationship so what do I know.

Hell, someone in a relationship isn't automatically rendered blind.  I don't care if my husband appreciates the beauty or humor or mind of other women - shit, I do that myself.  It's not tantamount to cheating at all.  I actually love that he appreciates these qualities, and it goes both ways.

(and, wanting to bang someone doesn't mean you have to act on it)

Haha. 

dankind said:

I can't help but notice big boobs. She knows this. She sees them, too. It's hard not to.

Come to LA, sir!  You'll be swimming in them, along with them fancy pools.

Silicone?  Sure.  But huge and rock hard.

(insert "that's what she said" here)

Who does?

And the same goes for lip injections and fake tan.
My niece gets lip fillers and I keep telling her she looks good without it. But it's hard to convince her.
Makes her and those that get them look like ducks.
Seriously, I don't know if it is in the USA and elsewhere but where I am I keep seeing girls with duck lips.
Is this the Kim Kardashian effect? Every "hot" girl wants to look like Kim, I have plenty of them at university.

So Chicago is where we should head?