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A Broken Heart requests a Love Song: Please play Thin Air @ Fenway Night 1 for Amy

my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
in The Porch
5 plus years ago... early 2013... a post on a certain rock bands message board... a PM... a friendly hello... you're going to Wrigley?... you love Pearl Jam? we work in the same field?... you're reading Neil Youngs book? jokes about being a serial killer... you're friendly... you're funny... AND you're cute??? 

Wanna go to lunch?

Hair pulled back in a bun... sweater... conservatively dressed... no makeup... don't need it... a true natural beauty... burger... french dip... both of us nervous... I have a beer... you have a coke... when I walked out it felt like you were the woman I waited 34 years for... you were beautiful... you were smart... you were strong... I was excited... i was hopeful... i was smitten... i was happy... I told my friends... she's the one... I'd been struck by a Lightning Bolt

July 4th... lying in bed... waiting weeks to find the moment... i'd never said this to a partner before... this is it... eye contact... three words... "I Love You"... pure... honest... raw... from my soul... before you could reply I quickly ask if you loved me... fearful of rejection... hopeful for confirmation... you said two words i will never forget... "Hopelessly So"... I melted... it was perfect... you were perfect... we were in love.

5 years fly by in a flash... we live together... your amazing dog accepts me and loves me... the cats grow on me... road trips... concerts... Charlottesville... Moline... merch lines... posters... stickers... Disney... the Kings House... Ducks at The Peabody... rocking chairs at The Red Lion Inn... Hampton Inns... Sleep Inns with weird showers... pocket doors... holidays with your family... Moscow Mules with your Grandmother... shooting hoops with your niece & nephews... cooking you pot roast for dinner... watching Chance chase birds in the backyard... the great times... the good times... the harder times... the grind of work... the grind of life... partners... friends... lovers... the best years of my life... the happiest I have ever felt... ideas of marriage begin to dance... 

January 2018... My 40th is coming... let's do Fenway again... 10c tickets won... hotel booked... plans for a proposal start to grow... how? when? where? at the show? Do I make a request for her favorite song?

May 2018... clearly upset... somethings wrong... not talking... I push... what's wrong?... whats the matter?... talk to me... I still wonder what would have happened if I let it be... one last time... the final time.... I ask.........

"I think we should separate, and I think you should move out"

Confused. Devastated. Overwhelmed. Shocked. Hurt. Blindsided. Traumatized. Heart Broken.

Almost 4 months later the pain has not subsided. It's intense. It's raw. It's pure. It's real. It's honest. It's from the soul. Only love can break your heart.

Hopeful there is a chance. Scared to death there isn't.

We were supposed to go to Fenway this weekend for my 40th. I was likely going to drop to a knee. She has tickets for night 1, I have tickets for night 2. I will be at Night 2 with a good friend. Not sure if she will be at night 1. I hope she is, I hate to think about those two empty seats at Night 1.

Amy's favorite song is Thin Air. 

Please play it at Fenway Night 1.

Please play it for Amy. Play it for love. Play it for hope. I will say it again, please play it for HOPE. Hope is all I have.

Amy, I love you with all of my heart and soul. I miss you.

Caught a bolt of lightning, cursed the day she let me go......

Comments

  • PJNBPJNB Posts: 13,599
    Sorry to hear that man. Hope somehow you guys are able to work it out and have a happy life together. Can't be easy to open up like this on a public forum. Hope this gets to her and she knows how much she means to you. Send me a PM if you ever want to open up and have a chat. 
  • nicknyr15nicknyr15 Posts: 8,791
    Damn that was deep. I feel for you 
  • Lerxst1992Lerxst1992 Posts: 6,948
    It takes courage to share stories like this on an internet forum, and kindness to request her song on the night she may be going. I admire your courage. I hope you stay strong and keep faith many good things await you.


  • RoleModelsinBlood31RoleModelsinBlood31 Austin TX Posts: 6,186
    Made me cry.  Bummed for you, man.  I’m no counselor so I won’t give any advice but I wish the best for you and hope everything works out the best way it can.
    I'm like an opening band for your mom.
  • IndifferenceIndifference Posts: 2,742
    Oh man, feel for you. 

    SHOW COUNT: (164) 1990's=3, 2000's=53, 2010/20's=108, US=118, CAN=15, Europe=20 ,New Zealand=4, Australia=5
    Mexico=1, Colombia=1 



  • Ray J. T.Ray J. T. Posts: 4,064
    Damn, sorry to read about your loss. I hope you do get to hear the song, and it bring you some peace and comfort. Hope to read in the near future that all of this comes to a happy ending where you 2 find each other together again. 
  • bootlegger10bootlegger10 Posts: 16,105
    That really sucks.  I have a friend in a similar situation and is coming to Fenway to just enjoy the music.  I hope you get your song.
  • CantKeepmedownCantKeepmedown Portland, Maine Posts: 3,065
    Cheers to you, man.  I hope you find peace, happiness, contentment........Try and enjoy night 2. Hopefully it takes your mind off things for a bit.  
  • EB218946EB218946 Posts: 3,991
    Sorry for your pain.  I hope you find some peace.  I know this is a little cheesy to say but time does heal wounds.  Stay strong man. 
  • my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
    Lerxst1992 said:
    It takes courage to share stories like this on an internet forum, and kindness to request her song on the night she may be going. I admire your courage. I hope you stay strong and keep faith many good things await you.


    I'm usually a very private person that wouldn't share things like this on a forum, it wasnt easy. But considering how it all started, this felt appropriate. 


  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 30,595
    Sorry to read about the heart brake I hope they play the song for hope , wishing you the best & love will find you again...
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839

    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
    Dankind bringing the well timed humor as usual lol

    I'm far from desperate, and I know there are a lot of fish in the sea, but I'm not interested... there is only one fish for me, obviously that may not be mutual though. I'm going to stay positive. 

    Please play Amy's favorite song, Thin Air, at Fenway Night 1
  • my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
    https://youtu.be/FuukaYzoaa4
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,848
    edited August 2018
    My heart is hoping for things to work out for you, my2hands. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • wall232wall232 New York Posts: 1,346
    edited August 2018
    This is the definition of wearing your heart on you sleeve. Keep your head up my2hands. 

    I really hope they play Thin Air night 1. 
    NYPJ
  • my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
    https://youtu.be/Kft1wwxEOio
  • PJNBPJNB Posts: 13,599
    Dude if it was me I would be going to night 1 and finding her after the show or try to meet up the next day. I am not saying to be the ex stalker guy but at least make an attempt here. Sit down and talk to her and tell her everything that you have said here and more if you have not already. Communicate to her exactly how you feel and how important she is to you. Fight for her or you will regret it. If she still wants to move on then at least you gave it your all.
  • reyrey Monmouth County, NJ Posts: 286
    edited August 2018

    Damn, that's a rough story.  I really hope you enjoy yourself at the show and are able to lose yourself in the music for 3+ hours.  Pearl Jam is good for that.

    Certainly not my business, but I can't help but wonder what the hell happened between January and May for things to unravel so quickly.  I wish you all the best in getting through this.

    Post edited by rey on
  • my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
    https://youtu.be/aflh3rV5IjU
  • my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
    https://youtu.be/rl35kTO7iQA
  • my2handsmy2hands Posts: 17,117
    For hope, and love
  • alive90alive90 Posts: 82
    edited September 2018
    I feel you. I was hoping you’d get your request too. I have a similar story. My ex and I met and bonded over a love of PJ, we had each seen them before meeting and after a year of dating, we went to both Fenway 2016s together. I really felt that she was the one. We moved in together shortly after the shows. We lived together for a year and she changed drastically in that year. I kept trying to talk to her, remained compassionate and supportive, suggested couples counseling and all that, but she ended it, claiming that she wanted to move out of the area (knowing that I wasn’t in a position to move) I said that we could do long distance and visit each other whenever possible but she said no. Well at night 2 this year, I’m having a great time and she messages me the set list! Turns out she never moved away and was at the show. I didn’t bump into her, but it’s been fucking with me ever since last night. She certainly has the right to change her mind and carry on, but it just sucks that it couldn’t work. I replied to her message with thanks and best of luck.

    Don’t mean to hijack your thread, your story really spoke to me though. I still sometimes feel that there’s only one fish for me too. 

    I hope you enjoyed the shows and found the music to be healing.

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