How old is too young?

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

I'm pretty sure the most recent message has been, "my wife will be sick for days from your pot smoke" and "I have a serious allergy, so stop." Forgive me for interpreting that to mean, "My kid is more special than your buzz." You're right. I confused my original concern for smoking in front of your child with your adult issues.

Look, I generally don't waste time on the Internet debating shit. So thank you for sharing all your thoughts. Enjoy your next show.

you are clearly confused. 

-smoke pot at a show if you wish (I used to)
-someone who rats someone out for doing so is well within their right to do so, and is not an "asshole", because they might have health issues related to that
-my kid is not more special than your buzz. my kid does not affect you,  your pot smoke may affect others. 

at weezer, as I've said, someone lit up a few rows over at the beginning of the show, as they opened with Hash Pipe. I laughed to myself and hoped she wouldn't ask me about it. and she didn't. so it was all good. 

when i used to smoke at shows, if I was next to a kid or an older couple, I just wouldn't smoke. common courtesy. I would survey my surroundings and make that call based on my observations. 

I give a shit about others. 

Dude, I really don't appreciate the implication that I don't care about others. In fact, I said that I'm really not cool as an adult smoking weed in front of a kid, being very aware of the impression that would make. I then said I would get really, really annoyed if someone asked me to stop. I didn't say I wouldn't stop. I said I would be annoyed if asked. I would probably take one long toke, hold my breath for as long as I could and then blow it in the other direction, all while trying to hide the scene from your infant, toddler, or whatever because I'm not all about corrupting minors.

No need to get all judgmental. Isn't that what you complained about earlier?  Just leave me out of your issues. That's all I want in this world, for everybody to leave each other alone. Including the ones who -- Yes -- really don't enjoy having children around when they're trying to chill out. Kids stress me the fuck out. Even when they're just sitting there bopping out, I start worrying about them and take on the caretaker role, and I just don't want that for myself at a fucking concert. It's what I do for a living, and when I'm around them I can't turn it off, which is why I don't want to be near them at concerts on MY time. Sorry you don't understand that or assume my motives are selfish. I don't have to fucking explain or justify myself to anyone in the arena -- unless the cops bust me and I'll deal with that responsibility myself, thank you very much.

So really, you can reply with whatever, but I'm done. Going for a workout to build up my lungs.

pjhawks said:

JH6056 said:

brianlux said:

pjhawks said:

brianlux said:

When I was a little kid my parents like to do adult things with their adult friends and us kids stayed home with the baby sitter.  I had no problem with that and I had no interest in doing adult things with my adult parents.  So why is the current parenting generation so hung up about wanting their children to participate in adult activities?  Are they themselves having a hard time being adults?  Is it because they want to show off their kids to everyone around them?  Do they want to turn their children into miniature adults? Honestly, I don't get it. (And yes, though not a biological father, I have had parenting experience.)

yes unfortunately some (not all) parents today treat their kids as accessories. they want to do things so they get a lot of likes on facebook and instragram. it's as much or more about the parents than the kids.  also parents today rather be the "cool' parent instead of the discipline parent.  again not all parents are this way but if you take a 5 year old to a concert...

Couldn't agree more and working with the public, I see that a lot.  The irony though is that kids are better off and happier in the long-run when given boundaries and reasonable discipline and by bringing them up that way, when they get older, they're actually more likely to be cool with their parents anyway.

Wow, as someone who works with dysfucntional families and on child development as a profession, I gotta say to both of you Brianlux and pjhawks: you are jumping to a wild number of conclusions about the links between parents saying they want to bring young kids to a concert, their parental motivations, and the lifetime outcomes for those kids.  To assume that parents who want to share a show with their kids (including some kids who begged their parent per above) are therefore being raised with no boundaries or reasonable discipline?  Brianlux I admire your concert resume forever but seriously?  You know more about this and are more qualified to judge that than pediatricians who've been asked about this or other folks who've successfully raised multiple kids into thriving adults?  That is really presumptuous of you and - more importantly - factually and scientifically ridiculous. 

I deal every working day with: parents who either want to be out partying themselves and don't really want to parent at all; parents who want to be friends with their kids more than parents; and the group who feel bad about holding boundaries and disciplining their kids, think they're being "Too harsh".  And I see and have to help others see the often damaging impacts of those situations.  And then help parents understand how setting and holding more boundaries now will make their parenting lives better now and in the future, and be way better for their kids, and help them with how to do it (there are even multiple reasons that different parents struggle with holding boundaries, so helping them learn how to set them has to be differentiated too).  

There are miles of space and other factors between a parental decision on whether you take your kids to certain events or not, how you're raising your kids overall, and what your kids life outcomes will be.  You're entitled to your opinion, but wow... folks with no kids telling other people if you take young kids to a show your kids don't have boundaries or reasonable discipline?  Now I've heard everything on this board!

i'm not in politics but i can form a reasonable opinion on what a crappy politician is
i'm not a musician but i can form a reasonable opinion on what bad music is
i'm not a designer but i can form a reasonable opinion on what shitty fashion is (ok maybe this one isn't always true)
i'm not a brewer but i can form a reasonable opinion on what lousy beer is
but since i'm not a parent i can't form an opinion on parenting....got it (insert eye roll emoji here)

drakeheuer14 said:

You took an infant to a rock show? 

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

I'm pretty sure the most recent message has been, "my wife will be sick for days from your pot smoke" and "I have a serious allergy, so stop." Forgive me for interpreting that to mean, "My kid is more special than your buzz." You're right. I confused my original concern for smoking in front of your child with your adult issues.

Look, I generally don't waste time on the Internet debating shit. So thank you for sharing all your thoughts. Enjoy your next show.

you are clearly confused. 

-smoke pot at a show if you wish (I used to)
-someone who rats someone out for doing so is well within their right to do so, and is not an "asshole", because they might have health issues related to that
-my kid is not more special than your buzz. my kid does not affect you,  your pot smoke may affect others. 

at weezer, as I've said, someone lit up a few rows over at the beginning of the show, as they opened with Hash Pipe. I laughed to myself and hoped she wouldn't ask me about it. and she didn't. so it was all good. 

when i used to smoke at shows, if I was next to a kid or an older couple, I just wouldn't smoke. common courtesy. I would survey my surroundings and make that call based on my observations. 

I give a shit about others. 

Dude, I really don't appreciate the implication that I don't care about others. In fact, I said that I'm really not cool as an adult smoking weed in front of a kid, being very aware of the impression that would make. I then said I would get really, really annoyed if someone asked me to stop. I didn't say I wouldn't stop. I said I would be annoyed if asked. I would probably take one long toke, hold my breath for as long as I could and then blow it in the other direction, all while trying to hide the scene from your infant, toddler, or whatever because I'm not all about corrupting minors.

No need to get all judgmental. Isn't that what you complained about earlier?  Just leave me out of your issues. That's all I want in this world, for everybody to leave each other alone. Including the ones who -- Yes -- really don't enjoy having children around when they're trying to chill out. Kids stress me the fuck out. Even when they're just sitting there bopping out, I start worrying about them and take on the caretaker role, and I just don't want that for myself at a fucking concert. It's what I do for a living, and when I'm around them I can't turn it off, which is why I don't want to be near them at concerts on MY time. Sorry you don't understand that or assume my motives are selfish. I don't have to fucking explain or justify myself to anyone in the arena -- unless the cops bust me and I'll deal with that responsibility myself, thank you very much.

So really, you can reply with whatever, but I'm done. Going for a workout to build up my lungs.

you implied I think everyone loves my kid. 

"just leave me out of your issues". Not sure what you keep referring to here. That I like spending time with my daughters? Yeah, REAL issues. 

so you want everyone to leave everyone else alone, live and let live, oh, except if it bothers you because a tiny human is sitting joyfully next to you. got it. 

it's not YOUR time if you are in public. just so you are aware. 

"kids stress me the fuck out". 
"it's what I do for a living". 

YIKES. 

You're right. I'm awful. How did I not see that before? How despicable of me to want to enjoy a night out doing adult things with other adults during my time off. I don't deserve that at all, nobody does, and only my utter depravity could have led me to have such unrealistic expectations for my life. Clearly you are a much better human being than I am. You are the shining example of what a true and righteous person ought to be. Thank you.   

rgambs said:

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

mace1229 said:

I don't get half the comments in this thread.
first, the repeated notion of "why would you let what others think dictate what you do?" Well that's called common courtesy. I'm assuming anyone who says that is the guy holding the annoying banner blocking the view of 20 people behind him for half the show. Taking into consideration how others feel is the basics behind common courtesy, so I don't know why that is treated like a bad thing.

that being said, who has ever been bothered by a kid at a show? Never even occurred to me that anyone could be bothered by a kid until I read some comments. My first though when I see a kid at a show or game is "dang it, now I'm going to look like a dick if I reach over their head to grab a foul ball or t-shirt," but that's about the extent of it.
what age is too young is up to the parents. Personally for me probably not under 12 for PJ. I know very few kids 7 or 8 who are into their own music that isn't going to make me wish hateful things on the band. And so I just don't see the point of spending that money. 
Each parent should decide their own filter. I don't get the criticism about that. I personally probably wouldn't want to expose my kids to everything that entails a Pj show until 10 or 12. And just because what said on the playground is worse than anything on TV doesn't mean I'm going to put on Game of Thrones for them. I'll still censor when I can until they are older.

my kid is not blocking your view. my kid is sitting there with her headphones on, bopping her head to the music. if that ruins your time, then yes, that is your problem, not anyone else's. 

i have yet to hear one single solitary reason why my kid being at a show effects your time. not one. 

One reason: Total buzz kill. As a parent, you may be cool with your child watching me smoke pot. I'm not cool smoking pot in front of children. It would definitely affect my high, and please don't tell me not to light up because that would really, really annoy me even more.

Hypocrisy

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

I'm pretty sure the most recent message has been, "my wife will be sick for days from your pot smoke" and "I have a serious allergy, so stop." Forgive me for interpreting that to mean, "My kid is more special than your buzz." You're right. I confused my original concern for smoking in front of your child with your adult issues.

Look, I generally don't waste time on the Internet debating shit. So thank you for sharing all your thoughts. Enjoy your next show.

you are clearly confused. 

-smoke pot at a show if you wish (I used to)
-someone who rats someone out for doing so is well within their right to do so, and is not an "asshole", because they might have health issues related to that
-my kid is not more special than your buzz. my kid does not affect you,  your pot smoke may affect others. 

at weezer, as I've said, someone lit up a few rows over at the beginning of the show, as they opened with Hash Pipe. I laughed to myself and hoped she wouldn't ask me about it. and she didn't. so it was all good. 

when i used to smoke at shows, if I was next to a kid or an older couple, I just wouldn't smoke. common courtesy. I would survey my surroundings and make that call based on my observations. 

I give a shit about others. 

Dude, I really don't appreciate the implication that I don't care about others. In fact, I said that I'm really not cool as an adult smoking weed in front of a kid, being very aware of the impression that would make. I then said I would get really, really annoyed if someone asked me to stop. I didn't say I wouldn't stop. I said I would be annoyed if asked. I would probably take one long toke, hold my breath for as long as I could and then blow it in the other direction, all while trying to hide the scene from your infant, toddler, or whatever because I'm not all about corrupting minors.

No need to get all judgmental. Isn't that what you complained about earlier?  Just leave me out of your issues. That's all I want in this world, for everybody to leave each other alone. Including the ones who -- Yes -- really don't enjoy having children around when they're trying to chill out. Kids stress me the fuck out. Even when they're just sitting there bopping out, I start worrying about them and take on the caretaker role, and I just don't want that for myself at a fucking concert. It's what I do for a living, and when I'm around them I can't turn it off, which is why I don't want to be near them at concerts on MY time. Sorry you don't understand that or assume my motives are selfish. I don't have to fucking explain or justify myself to anyone in the arena -- unless the cops bust me and I'll deal with that responsibility myself, thank you very much.

So really, you can reply with whatever, but I'm done. Going for a workout to build up my lungs.

you implied I think everyone loves my kid. 

"just leave me out of your issues". Not sure what you keep referring to here. That I like spending time with my daughters? Yeah, REAL issues. 

so you want everyone to leave everyone else alone, live and let live, oh, except if it bothers you because a tiny human is sitting joyfully next to you. got it. 

it's not YOUR time if you are in public. just so you are aware. 

"kids stress me the fuck out". 
"it's what I do for a living". 

YIKES. 

You're right. I'm awful. How did I not see that before? How despicable of me to want to enjoy a night out doing adult things with other adults during my time off. I don't deserve that at all, nobody does, and only my utter depravity could have led me to have such unrealistic expectations for my life. Clearly you are a much better human being than I am. You are the shining example of what a true and righteous person ought to be. Thank you.   

did your lungs get a good build up? a whole lotta hot air just came out, so I guess so. 

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

what dreams said:

I'm pretty sure the most recent message has been, "my wife will be sick for days from your pot smoke" and "I have a serious allergy, so stop." Forgive me for interpreting that to mean, "My kid is more special than your buzz." You're right. I confused my original concern for smoking in front of your child with your adult issues.

Look, I generally don't waste time on the Internet debating shit. So thank you for sharing all your thoughts. Enjoy your next show.

you are clearly confused. 

-smoke pot at a show if you wish (I used to)
-someone who rats someone out for doing so is well within their right to do so, and is not an "asshole", because they might have health issues related to that
-my kid is not more special than your buzz. my kid does not affect you,  your pot smoke may affect others. 

at weezer, as I've said, someone lit up a few rows over at the beginning of the show, as they opened with Hash Pipe. I laughed to myself and hoped she wouldn't ask me about it. and she didn't. so it was all good. 

when i used to smoke at shows, if I was next to a kid or an older couple, I just wouldn't smoke. common courtesy. I would survey my surroundings and make that call based on my observations. 

I give a shit about others. 

Dude, I really don't appreciate the implication that I don't care about others. In fact, I said that I'm really not cool as an adult smoking weed in front of a kid, being very aware of the impression that would make. I then said I would get really, really annoyed if someone asked me to stop. I didn't say I wouldn't stop. I said I would be annoyed if asked. I would probably take one long toke, hold my breath for as long as I could and then blow it in the other direction, all while trying to hide the scene from your infant, toddler, or whatever because I'm not all about corrupting minors.

No need to get all judgmental. Isn't that what you complained about earlier?  Just leave me out of your issues. That's all I want in this world, for everybody to leave each other alone. Including the ones who -- Yes -- really don't enjoy having children around when they're trying to chill out. Kids stress me the fuck out. Even when they're just sitting there bopping out, I start worrying about them and take on the caretaker role, and I just don't want that for myself at a fucking concert. It's what I do for a living, and when I'm around them I can't turn it off, which is why I don't want to be near them at concerts on MY time. Sorry you don't understand that or assume my motives are selfish. I don't have to fucking explain or justify myself to anyone in the arena -- unless the cops bust me and I'll deal with that responsibility myself, thank you very much.

So really, you can reply with whatever, but I'm done. Going for a workout to build up my lungs.

you implied I think everyone loves my kid. 

"just leave me out of your issues". Not sure what you keep referring to here. That I like spending time with my daughters? Yeah, REAL issues. 

so you want everyone to leave everyone else alone, live and let live, oh, except if it bothers you because a tiny human is sitting joyfully next to you. got it. 

it's not YOUR time if you are in public. just so you are aware. 

"kids stress me the fuck out". 
"it's what I do for a living". 

YIKES. 

You're right. I'm awful. How did I not see that before? How despicable of me to want to enjoy a night out doing adult things with other adults during my time off. I don't deserve that at all, nobody does, and only my utter depravity could have led me to have such unrealistic expectations for my life. Clearly you are a much better human being than I am. You are the shining example of what a true and righteous person ought to be. Thank you.   

did your lungs get a good build up? a whole lotta hot air just came out, so I guess so. 

I just really don't understand what your problem is. Seriously don't understand. My only position about your child or anybody else's child at a concert is that I don't want to sit next to them, and I've been under attack since. I've been misunderstood multiple times when I tried to explain what I feel are very respectful reasons why (I'd be a bad influence :-), and then I regroup and try to explain again, and that explanation gets a snarky response. Then I try to bow out gracefully and there's still a comeback about my character and an attack on my profession, and now this bitchy comment about my being full of hot air.  

The real thing I've come to learn about this forum over the years is that's it's full of self-righteous assholes who spend their endless hours and posts trying to better everybody else with their comeback. I don't want to sit next to most of you, never mind your children. 

Seriously -- have a great time at whatever show you take your children. You and she both have a right to be there if that's what you choose. I'm sure it will be a special time that you will both cherish forever. 

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

I think Pearl Jam should have a take your baby to concert night.  That would settle everything and the crowd would know what to expect.