Doing that is always a tough one for me. Usually I can't help but get in there
Hope you keep that feeling with you.
Thanks Hedonist. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay out of my head either and that always ends it hurt and sadness. I am trying my best to deal with PTSD but with continuing abnormal behavior from my son and others, it just feels endlessly hopeless. I don't understand and I can't make believe he doesn't exist. And my late sister's husband and I argued in the Spring and now he demands an apology or I'm not invited to holiday family gatherings. I am absolutely not apologizing and he doesn't reach out to talk and reach a stalemate so I've been banned - my sister would be apoplectic. And it makes my mom feel stressed and sad. So I'm estranged from everyone but my mother - it hurts and I am powerless over the actions of others. My ex and co. really messed up my son - my baby is so fucked up - I can't believe it's still going on and now I am scared for him due to his choices. And when do I work on me? I don't know. I can't figure out how to separate being a mother from who I am - I'm screwed. So I went there and it ends this way. Hope you are doing okay, hedoinst. Oh, just celebrated 20 years - I should feel proud, but I don't feel anything.
Doing that is always a tough one for me. Usually I can't help but get in there
Hope you keep that feeling with you.
Thanks Hedonist. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay out of my head either and that always ends it hurt and sadness. I am trying my best to deal with PTSD but with continuing abnormal behavior from my son and others, it just feels endlessly hopeless. I don't understand and I can't make believe he doesn't exist. And my late sister's husband and I argued in the Spring and now he demands an apology or I'm not invited to holiday family gatherings. I am absolutely not apologizing and he doesn't reach out to talk and reach a stalemate so I've been banned - my sister would be apoplectic. And it makes my mom feel stressed and sad. So I'm estranged from everyone but my mother - it hurts and I am powerless over the actions of others. My ex and co. really messed up my son - my baby is so fucked up - I can't believe it's still going on and now I am scared for him due to his choices. And when do I work on me? I don't know. I can't figure out how to separate being a mother from who I am - I'm screwed. So I went there and it ends this way. Hope you are doing okay, hedoinst. Oh, just celebrated 20 years - I should feel proud, but I don't feel anything.
I'm sorry that this is how you're feeling. The accomplishment of 20 years still stands, regardless of how you feel about it in this moment. It is still there for you to take pride in when you are feeling up to that.
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Doing that is always a tough one for me. Usually I can't help but get in there
Hope you keep that feeling with you.
Thanks Hedonist. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay out of my head either and that always ends it hurt and sadness. I am trying my best to deal with PTSD but with continuing abnormal behavior from my son and others, it just feels endlessly hopeless. I don't understand and I can't make believe he doesn't exist. And my late sister's husband and I argued in the Spring and now he demands an apology or I'm not invited to holiday family gatherings. I am absolutely not apologizing and he doesn't reach out to talk and reach a stalemate so I've been banned - my sister would be apoplectic. And it makes my mom feel stressed and sad. So I'm estranged from everyone but my mother - it hurts and I am powerless over the actions of others. My ex and co. really messed up my son - my baby is so fucked up - I can't believe it's still going on and now I am scared for him due to his choices. And when do I work on me? I don't know. I can't figure out how to separate being a mother from who I am - I'm screwed. So I went there and it ends this way. Hope you are doing okay, hedoinst. Oh, just celebrated 20 years - I should feel proud, but I don't feel anything.
I'm sorry that this is how you're feeling. The accomplishment of 20 years still stands, regardless of how you feel about it in this moment. It is still there for you to take pride in when you are feeling up to that.
Agreed with this wise woman.
Nancy, just feel as you can. I've found numbness is countered with waves of over-feeling; it's almost unavoidable and sometimes too much on either end, but hell, you must look after yourself too because I believe that there are shades of balances. Sometimes out of nowhere.
They're necessary and may be fleeting, but are precious and valuable.
oh so thank full of every party... i may have missed or not....the thread has kept me aligned in bliss.. and taken me to palaces in the world overwrought..small dens amid galexies basking in one son...forgetting the daughters with hope there are none? left to devices of tapping out time....the boys are left with no one in space to rhyme...
Relieved that it was a record not playing that was the problem and not the player being broken.
I just got both UYI albums from Guns N Roses and for some reason side 3 of the first one won't play which is a bummer since that side has November freaking Rain to start it off.
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
oh so thank full of every party... i may have missed or not....the thread has kept me aligned in bliss.. and taken me to palaces in the world overwrought..small dens amid galexies basking in one son...forgetting the daughters with hope there are none? left to devices of tapping out time....the boys are left with no one in space to rhyme...
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Got a nice bright spot ahead, and looking forward to enjoying it. Long overdue.
What's the bright spot? Glad you have one coming. You deserve something good.
Two dear friends, their loved ones (who, by proxy, are mine too), a great meal, plus a rather large and loving dog
And some great sushi, I'm assuming? That's great. Happy for all of you. It's always so nice to get together with great friends. Sending our love to you all. Please pass it on. Have a wonderful time.
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Got a nice bright spot ahead, and looking forward to enjoying it. Long overdue.
What's the bright spot? Glad you have one coming. You deserve something good.
Two dear friends, their loved ones (who, by proxy, are mine too), a great meal, plus a rather large and loving dog
And some great sushi, I'm assuming? That's great. Happy for all of you. It's always so nice to get together with great friends. Sending our love to you all. Please pass it on. Have a wonderful time.
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Comments
pg 519 in particular
Nancy, just feel as you can. I've found numbness is countered with waves of over-feeling; it's almost unavoidable and sometimes too much on either end, but hell, you must look after yourself too because I believe that there are shades of balances. Sometimes out of nowhere.
They're necessary and may be fleeting, but are precious and valuable.
Prague Krakow Berlin 2018. Berlin 2022
EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.
I wish i was the souvenir you kept your house key on..
You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
I just got both UYI albums from Guns N Roses and for some reason side 3 of the first one won't play which is a bummer since that side has November freaking Rain to start it off.
right now feeling really hot, felt like it reached 38 today
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Got a nice bright spot ahead, and looking forward to enjoying it. Long overdue.
Thank you - I will, on both counts.
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
I may or may not watch It's a Wonderful Life yet again this year.