Deleted.

Thoughts_Arrive
Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
edited June 2015 in Musicians and Gearheads
Deleted. Song sucks.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
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Comments

  • xtremehardy388
    xtremehardy388 Posts: 2,759
    Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

    Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

    She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

    Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.
    Grand Rapids '04, Detroit '06
    JEFF HARDY AND JEFF AMENT USED TO LOOK THE SAME
    "Pearl Jam always eases my mind and fires me up at the same time.”-Jeff Hardy
  • PJammer4life
    PJammer4life Los Angeles Posts: 2,669
    Next step add some layers ie drums from drum machine ( boss dr 880) add some lead guitar and simple bass lines following your chord progressions. Try to envision a fuller song played with other musicians in a group.
    Bridge Benefit 1994, San Francisco 1995, San Diego 1995 1 & 2, Missoula 1998, Los Angeles 2000, San Diego 2000, Eddie Vedder/Beck 2/26/2002, Santa Barbara 2003, Irvine 2003, San Diego 2003, Vancouver 2005, Gorge 2005, San Diego 2006, Los Angeles 2006 1 & 2, Santa Barbara 2006, Eddie Vedder 4/10/08, Eddie Vedder 4/12/08, Eddie Vedder 4/15/08, 7/12/2008, SF 8/28/09, LA 9/30/09, LA 10/1/09, LA 10/06/09, LA 10/07/09, San Diego 10/09/09, Eddie Vedder 7/6/2011, Eddie Vedder 7/8/2011, PJ20 9/3/2011, PJ20 9/4/2011, Vancouver 9/25/2011, San Diego 11/21/13, LA 11/24/13, Ohana 9/25/21, Ohana 9/26/21, Ohana 10/1/21, EV 2/17/22, LA Forum 5/6/22, LA Forum 5/7/22, EV 10/1/22, EV 9/30/23
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited April 2015

    Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

    Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

    She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

    Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

    Thank you for your feedback!
    With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

    Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

    I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
    I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165

    Next step add some layers ie drums from drum machine ( boss dr 880) add some lead guitar and simple bass lines following your chord progressions. Try to envision a fuller song played with other musicians in a group.

    I hope some drummer and bass player like my direction and jam with me.
    Thank you for your feedback!
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • xtremehardy388
    xtremehardy388 Posts: 2,759

    Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

    Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

    She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

    Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

    Thank you for your feedback!
    With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

    Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

    I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
    I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.
    I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

    I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
    Grand Rapids '04, Detroit '06
    JEFF HARDY AND JEFF AMENT USED TO LOOK THE SAME
    "Pearl Jam always eases my mind and fires me up at the same time.”-Jeff Hardy
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165

    Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

    Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

    She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

    Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

    Thank you for your feedback!
    With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

    Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

    I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
    I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.
    I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

    I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
    Is that a good thing or bad thing haha?
    I love those demos of Do Re Mi and SLTS.
    Hearing those acoustic demos of Do Re Mi, Lithium, Been A Son, Sliver and other songs on the With The Lights Out box set inspired me to do acoustic demos. And hearing Kurt's earliest demos on Fecal Matter where his voice didn't sound good. I have now had 3 singing lessons, hoping to do more and keep creating.
    By the way, I recorded these songs on my phone using a voice recorder app, I don't have any pro equipment, just my guitars, my notepad, and phone.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • PJammer4life
    PJammer4life Los Angeles Posts: 2,669
    It's hard to get used to the sound of your own voice, especially without reverb or echo. Keep it up. How much you pay for the singing lessons? What did they teach you?
    Bridge Benefit 1994, San Francisco 1995, San Diego 1995 1 & 2, Missoula 1998, Los Angeles 2000, San Diego 2000, Eddie Vedder/Beck 2/26/2002, Santa Barbara 2003, Irvine 2003, San Diego 2003, Vancouver 2005, Gorge 2005, San Diego 2006, Los Angeles 2006 1 & 2, Santa Barbara 2006, Eddie Vedder 4/10/08, Eddie Vedder 4/12/08, Eddie Vedder 4/15/08, 7/12/2008, SF 8/28/09, LA 9/30/09, LA 10/1/09, LA 10/06/09, LA 10/07/09, San Diego 10/09/09, Eddie Vedder 7/6/2011, Eddie Vedder 7/8/2011, PJ20 9/3/2011, PJ20 9/4/2011, Vancouver 9/25/2011, San Diego 11/21/13, LA 11/24/13, Ohana 9/25/21, Ohana 9/26/21, Ohana 10/1/21, EV 2/17/22, LA Forum 5/6/22, LA Forum 5/7/22, EV 10/1/22, EV 9/30/23
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165

    It's hard to get used to the sound of your own voice, especially without reverb or echo. Keep it up. How much you pay for the singing lessons? What did they teach you?

    Yeah I hate my voice, wish I sounded different.
    My friend is a teacher so he has given me some free lessons.
    Thank you :)

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • xtremehardy388
    xtremehardy388 Posts: 2,759

    Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

    Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

    She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

    Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

    Thank you for your feedback!
    With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

    Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

    I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
    I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.
    I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

    I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
    Is that a good thing or bad thing haha?
    I love those demos of Do Re Mi and SLTS.
    Hearing those acoustic demos of Do Re Mi, Lithium, Been A Son, Sliver and other songs on the With The Lights Out box set inspired me to do acoustic demos. And hearing Kurt's earliest demos on Fecal Matter where his voice didn't sound good. I have now had 3 singing lessons, hoping to do more and keep creating.
    By the way, I recorded these songs on my phone using a voice recorder app, I don't have any pro equipment, just my guitars, my notepad, and phone.
    Good thing! You're not intentionally trying to sound like him---that's just the way your voice is. It's organic and raw.
    Grand Rapids '04, Detroit '06
    JEFF HARDY AND JEFF AMENT USED TO LOOK THE SAME
    "Pearl Jam always eases my mind and fires me up at the same time.”-Jeff Hardy
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165

    Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

    Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

    She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

    Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

    Thank you for your feedback!
    With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

    Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

    I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
    I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.
    I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

    I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
    Is that a good thing or bad thing haha?
    I love those demos of Do Re Mi and SLTS.
    Hearing those acoustic demos of Do Re Mi, Lithium, Been A Son, Sliver and other songs on the With The Lights Out box set inspired me to do acoustic demos. And hearing Kurt's earliest demos on Fecal Matter where his voice didn't sound good. I have now had 3 singing lessons, hoping to do more and keep creating.
    By the way, I recorded these songs on my phone using a voice recorder app, I don't have any pro equipment, just my guitars, my notepad, and phone.
    Good thing! You're not intentionally trying to sound like him---that's just the way your voice is. It's organic and raw.
    Wow, I am flattered, that is a huge compliment.
    Thank you!
    I regret not getting into songwriting seriously years ago, I am 31 almost, feel like I am too old for this now. Confidence and lack of belief in myself has been an issue for me.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • 2-feign-reluctance
    2-feign-reluctance TigerTown, USA Posts: 23,462

    Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

    Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

    She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

    Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

    Thank you for your feedback!
    With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

    Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

    I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
    I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.
    I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

    I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
    Is that a good thing or bad thing haha?
    I love those demos of Do Re Mi and SLTS.
    Hearing those acoustic demos of Do Re Mi, Lithium, Been A Son, Sliver and other songs on the With The Lights Out box set inspired me to do acoustic demos. And hearing Kurt's earliest demos on Fecal Matter where his voice didn't sound good. I have now had 3 singing lessons, hoping to do more and keep creating.
    By the way, I recorded these songs on my phone using a voice recorder app, I don't have any pro equipment, just my guitars, my notepad, and phone.
    Good thing! You're not intentionally trying to sound like him---that's just the way your voice is. It's organic and raw.
    Wow, I am flattered, that is a huge compliment.
    Thank you!
    I regret not getting into songwriting seriously years ago, I am 31 almost, feel like I am too old for this now. Confidence and lack of belief in myself has been an issue for me.
    Never too late dude. Keep pushing forward - also, save some coins and invest in a set up. Its worth it and lots of fun learning on your own.
    www.cluthelee.com
  • PJammer4life
    PJammer4life Los Angeles Posts: 2,669
    Try some open mike nights just to get the experience of playing your originals.
    Bridge Benefit 1994, San Francisco 1995, San Diego 1995 1 & 2, Missoula 1998, Los Angeles 2000, San Diego 2000, Eddie Vedder/Beck 2/26/2002, Santa Barbara 2003, Irvine 2003, San Diego 2003, Vancouver 2005, Gorge 2005, San Diego 2006, Los Angeles 2006 1 & 2, Santa Barbara 2006, Eddie Vedder 4/10/08, Eddie Vedder 4/12/08, Eddie Vedder 4/15/08, 7/12/2008, SF 8/28/09, LA 9/30/09, LA 10/1/09, LA 10/06/09, LA 10/07/09, San Diego 10/09/09, Eddie Vedder 7/6/2011, Eddie Vedder 7/8/2011, PJ20 9/3/2011, PJ20 9/4/2011, Vancouver 9/25/2011, San Diego 11/21/13, LA 11/24/13, Ohana 9/25/21, Ohana 9/26/21, Ohana 10/1/21, EV 2/17/22, LA Forum 5/6/22, LA Forum 5/7/22, EV 10/1/22, EV 9/30/23
  • xtremehardy388
    xtremehardy388 Posts: 2,759

    Try some open mike nights just to get the experience of playing your originals.

    THIS! Excellent idea.
    Grand Rapids '04, Detroit '06
    JEFF HARDY AND JEFF AMENT USED TO LOOK THE SAME
    "Pearl Jam always eases my mind and fires me up at the same time.”-Jeff Hardy
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited April 2015
    Thanks guys.
    I recorded a new song demo, didn't turn out how I would have liked. My singing ability cannot match the idea in my head. I done like 5 takes. I don't know if I will upload it on Soundcloud. Might keep doing takes until I get it how I want it.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • xtremehardy388
    xtremehardy388 Posts: 2,759

    Thanks guys.
    I recorded a new song demo, didn't turn out how I would have liked. My singing ability cannot match the idea in my head. I done like 5 takes. I don't know if I will upload it on Soundcloud. Might keep doing takes until I get it how I want it.

    Just remember---you're always your hardest critic. But never stop searching for perfection.
    Grand Rapids '04, Detroit '06
    JEFF HARDY AND JEFF AMENT USED TO LOOK THE SAME
    "Pearl Jam always eases my mind and fires me up at the same time.”-Jeff Hardy
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited June 2015

    Thanks guys.
    I recorded a new song demo, didn't turn out how I would have liked. My singing ability cannot match the idea in my head. I done like 5 takes. I don't know if I will upload it on Soundcloud. Might keep doing takes until I get it how I want it.

    Just remember---you're always your hardest critic. But never stop searching for perfection.
    Deleted. Song sucks.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • JWPearl
    JWPearl Posts: 19,893
    your voice is nothing a mic couldnt fix with more warm ups but your guitar needs major tuning
  • mfc2006
    mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,491

    Thanks guys.
    I recorded a new song demo, didn't turn out how I would have liked. My singing ability cannot match the idea in my head. I done like 5 takes. I don't know if I will upload it on Soundcloud. Might keep doing takes until I get it how I want it.

    just keep at it. my voice sounds a lot different than it did 15, 10 & even 5 years ago.

    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited June 2015
    Thank you guys!
    Two more song demos I recorded today, let me know what you think:
    Deleted. Song sucks.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • 2-feign-reluctance
    2-feign-reluctance TigerTown, USA Posts: 23,462

    Thank you guys!
    Two more song demos I recorded today, let me know what you think:

    Without looking at your avatar, definitely can tell you love Nirvana!
    www.cluthelee.com