Deleted.

Thoughts_Arrive

Deleted. Song sucks.

xtremehardy388

Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

PJammer4life

Next step add some layers ie drums from drum machine ( boss dr 880) add some lead guitar and simple bass lines following your chord progressions. Try to envision a fuller song played with other musicians in a group.

Thoughts_Arrive

xtremehardy388 said:

Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

Thank you for your feedback!
With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJammer4life said:

Next step add some layers ie drums from drum machine ( boss dr 880) add some lead guitar and simple bass lines following your chord progressions. Try to envision a fuller song played with other musicians in a group.

I hope some drummer and bass player like my direction and jam with me.
Thank you for your feedback!

xtremehardy388

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

Thank you for your feedback!
With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.

I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

Thoughts_Arrive

xtremehardy388 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

Thank you for your feedback!
With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.

I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

Is that a good thing or bad thing haha?
I love those demos of Do Re Mi and SLTS.
Hearing those acoustic demos of Do Re Mi, Lithium, Been A Son, Sliver and other songs on the With The Lights Out box set inspired me to do acoustic demos. And hearing Kurt's earliest demos on Fecal Matter where his voice didn't sound good. I have now had 3 singing lessons, hoping to do more and keep creating.
By the way, I recorded these songs on my phone using a voice recorder app, I don't have any pro equipment, just my guitars, my notepad, and phone.

PJammer4life

It's hard to get used to the sound of your own voice, especially without reverb or echo. Keep it up. How much you pay for the singing lessons? What did they teach you?

Thoughts_Arrive

PJammer4life said:

It's hard to get used to the sound of your own voice, especially without reverb or echo. Keep it up. How much you pay for the singing lessons? What did they teach you?

Yeah I hate my voice, wish I sounded different.
My friend is a teacher so he has given me some free lessons.
Thank you

xtremehardy388

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

Thank you for your feedback!
With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.

I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

Is that a good thing or bad thing haha?
I love those demos of Do Re Mi and SLTS.
Hearing those acoustic demos of Do Re Mi, Lithium, Been A Son, Sliver and other songs on the With The Lights Out box set inspired me to do acoustic demos. And hearing Kurt's earliest demos on Fecal Matter where his voice didn't sound good. I have now had 3 singing lessons, hoping to do more and keep creating.
By the way, I recorded these songs on my phone using a voice recorder app, I don't have any pro equipment, just my guitars, my notepad, and phone.

Good thing! You're not intentionally trying to sound like him---that's just the way your voice is. It's organic and raw.

Thoughts_Arrive

xtremehardy388 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

Thank you for your feedback!
With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.

I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

Is that a good thing or bad thing haha?
I love those demos of Do Re Mi and SLTS.
Hearing those acoustic demos of Do Re Mi, Lithium, Been A Son, Sliver and other songs on the With The Lights Out box set inspired me to do acoustic demos. And hearing Kurt's earliest demos on Fecal Matter where his voice didn't sound good. I have now had 3 singing lessons, hoping to do more and keep creating.
By the way, I recorded these songs on my phone using a voice recorder app, I don't have any pro equipment, just my guitars, my notepad, and phone.

Good thing! You're not intentionally trying to sound like him---that's just the way your voice is. It's organic and raw.

Wow, I am flattered, that is a huge compliment.
Thank you!
I regret not getting into songwriting seriously years ago, I am 31 almost, feel like I am too old for this now. Confidence and lack of belief in myself has been an issue for me.

2-feign-reluctance

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

xtremehardy388 said:

Silver Lining:Lyrics sound a bit mumbled and forced. I can't really understand what you're doing. I do like the individual string melody for the verses.

Anathema: Again, sounds a but mumbled but I was able to understand most of the lyrics. Reminds me of Nirvana, actually. I do have to say that your voice is able to hold it's key and tone...and that's rare to find, these days.

She Said: The timing changes really threw me, on this one. Felt a bit abrupt. Seems like there's a lot of emotion going into this song (which is a good thing).

Reminds me of Seether meets an acoustic Nirvana.

Thank you for your feedback!
With Silver Lining how you mentioned that you ''can't really understand what you're doing", in reference to the lyrics of the song or something else?

Thank you for your positive feedback on my voice in Anathema and my verse string melody on Silver Lining! Appreciate it.

I have been told before I am very Nirvana, I try not to be but their influence on me is so huge haha. I was hoping noone else would say that but ah wells.
I've gotten Eddie Vedder too.

I can totally hear some Nirvana in there and a bit of PJ. In terms of Silver Lining, I meant with lyrics. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

I think it'd be cool to hear some bass/drums, too---if that's the direction you're looking. To be perfectly honest, these recordings reminded me of Kurt Cobain's demos for "Do Re Mi" and "the boombox version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

Is that a good thing or bad thing haha?
I love those demos of Do Re Mi and SLTS.
Hearing those acoustic demos of Do Re Mi, Lithium, Been A Son, Sliver and other songs on the With The Lights Out box set inspired me to do acoustic demos. And hearing Kurt's earliest demos on Fecal Matter where his voice didn't sound good. I have now had 3 singing lessons, hoping to do more and keep creating.
By the way, I recorded these songs on my phone using a voice recorder app, I don't have any pro equipment, just my guitars, my notepad, and phone.

Good thing! You're not intentionally trying to sound like him---that's just the way your voice is. It's organic and raw.

Wow, I am flattered, that is a huge compliment.
Thank you!
I regret not getting into songwriting seriously years ago, I am 31 almost, feel like I am too old for this now. Confidence and lack of belief in myself has been an issue for me.

Never too late dude. Keep pushing forward - also, save some coins and invest in a set up. Its worth it and lots of fun learning on your own.

PJammer4life

Try some open mike nights just to get the experience of playing your originals.

xtremehardy388

PJammer4life said:

Try some open mike nights just to get the experience of playing your originals.

THIS! Excellent idea.

Thoughts_Arrive

Thanks guys.
I recorded a new song demo, didn't turn out how I would have liked. My singing ability cannot match the idea in my head. I done like 5 takes. I don't know if I will upload it on Soundcloud. Might keep doing takes until I get it how I want it.

xtremehardy388

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thanks guys.
I recorded a new song demo, didn't turn out how I would have liked. My singing ability cannot match the idea in my head. I done like 5 takes. I don't know if I will upload it on Soundcloud. Might keep doing takes until I get it how I want it.

Just remember---you're always your hardest critic. But never stop searching for perfection.

Thoughts_Arrive

xtremehardy388 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thanks guys.
I recorded a new song demo, didn't turn out how I would have liked. My singing ability cannot match the idea in my head. I done like 5 takes. I don't know if I will upload it on Soundcloud. Might keep doing takes until I get it how I want it.

Just remember---you're always your hardest critic. But never stop searching for perfection.

Deleted. Song sucks.

JWPearl

your voice is nothing a mic couldnt fix with more warm ups but your guitar needs major tuning

mfc2006

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thanks guys.
I recorded a new song demo, didn't turn out how I would have liked. My singing ability cannot match the idea in my head. I done like 5 takes. I don't know if I will upload it on Soundcloud. Might keep doing takes until I get it how I want it.

just keep at it. my voice sounds a lot different than it did 15, 10 & even 5 years ago.

Thoughts_Arrive

Thank you guys!
Two more song demos I recorded today, let me know what you think:
Deleted. Song sucks.

2-feign-reluctance

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thank you guys!
Two more song demos I recorded today, let me know what you think:

Without looking at your avatar, definitely can tell you love Nirvana!

Thoughts_Arrive

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thank you guys!
Two more song demos I recorded today, let me know what you think:

Without looking at your avatar, definitely can tell you love Nirvana!

Ahh that sucks :-(

2-feign-reluctance

Thoughts_Arrive said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thank you guys!
Two more song demos I recorded today, let me know what you think:

Without looking at your avatar, definitely can tell you love Nirvana!

Ahh that sucks :-(

No, it doesn't man. If singing and music making brings YOU joy, then that's all that matters. I'm sure all the players here would agree with that statement.

Thoughts_Arrive

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thank you guys!
Two more song demos I recorded today, let me know what you think:

Without looking at your avatar, definitely can tell you love Nirvana!

Ahh that sucks :-(

No, it doesn't man. If singing and music making brings YOU joy, then that's all that matters. I'm sure all the players here would agree with that statement.

I want to be original.
Then again Nirvana ripped off the Pixies and Bob Dylan copied Woody Guthrie.
Which of my songs remind you of Nirvana?
Thanks for the encouragement!

xtremehardy388

Who cares about sounding original. Honestly, you'll be original if you just do what makes you happy. That's what it's all about IMHO. 2-feign is right.

On a side note, THANK YOU for contributing something to the board before posting a link and asking for feedback. I'll get flamed, I know, but I just scroll past most of the "check my band out" streams unless the poster has been on here and contributed something other than self-promotion

Thoughts_Arrive

xtremehardy388 said:

Who cares about sounding original. Honestly, you'll be original if you just do what makes you happy. That's what it's all about IMHO. 2-feign is right.

On a side note, THANK YOU for contributing something to the board before posting a link and asking for feedback. I'll get flamed, I know, but I just scroll past most of the "check my band out" streams unless the poster has been on here and contributed something other than self-promotion

Thank you for your feedback.
That's okay. Yeah I have been here for over 5 years.
I used to post here a lot more often than I do now.

brianlux

Here's my thoughts, Thoughts-

Silver Lining: This is cool in an Eliot Smith kind of way. Yeah, I hear a little Cobain in there but why not borrow a little from what you like, right? I like it and it works as a solo number. It's a little rough but I'd rather hear a little rough than too slick or polished. File under Melancholy Cool.

Anathema: Your voice is a little weak here, especially when you reach for higher notes. But when I say that I think of some of J Mascis' stuff. He really doesn't have a great voice (some would say that's putting it mildly) but over the years he's learned to get the most out of it and I really dig it. I totally relate to how hard it is to get range. I don't sing much any more but if I did I would need to work at it a lot. Maybe a little vocal coaching because really, there's a very cool quality to your voice in there.

She Said: I agree with extremelyhardy388 that the timing is a little off but that can be worked out. Maybe work on keeping the rhythm but breaking it intentionally can be very effective too. Nice little guitar break toward the end there. And its a really cool song. Lots of potential.

Don't worry about not liking your voice. Jimi Hendrix absolutely hated his voice and yet I cannot fathom Jimi sounding any differently. I've tried singing (and maybe someday I'll get back into it) and what's always held me back is that I can't stand my voice. And yet others have told they really like it and I just need to work on it and be confident. But anyway, the main thing is to remember most people don't like to hear their voice. I think yours has a really good, unique quality that has much potential.

Thanks for posting those songs. Keep at it!

Thoughts_Arrive

brianlux said:

Here's my thoughts, Thoughts-

Silver Lining: This is cool in an Eliot Smith kind of way. Yeah, I hear a little Cobain in there but why not borrow a little from what you like, right? I like it and it works as a solo number. It's a little rough but I'd rather hear a little rough than too slick or polished. File under Melancholy Cool.

Anathema: Your voice is a little weak here, especially when you reach for higher notes. But when I say that I think of some of J Mascis' stuff. He really doesn't have a great voice (some would say that's putting it mildly) but over the years he's learned to get the most out of it and I really dig it. I totally relate to how hard it is to get range. I don't sing much any more but if I did I would need to work at it a lot. Maybe a little vocal coaching because really, there's a very cool quality to your voice in there.

She Said: I agree with extremelyhardy388 that the timing is a little off but that can be worked out. Maybe work on keeping the rhythm but breaking it intentionally can be very effective too. Nice little guitar break toward the end there. And its a really cool song. Lots of potential.

Don't worry about not liking your voice. Jimi Hendrix absolutely hated his voice and yet I cannot fathom Jimi sounding any differently. I've tried singing (and maybe someday I'll get back into it) and what's always held me back is that I can't stand my voice. And yet others have told they really like it and I just need to work on it and be confident. But anyway, the main thing is to remember most people don't like to hear their voice. I think yours has a really good, unique quality that has much potential.

Thanks for posting those songs. Keep at it!

Thank you so much for the feedback.
I am getting singing lessons, have had about 5 now and have scales to practice at home.

2-feign-reluctance

Thoughts_Arrive said:

brianlux said:

Here's my thoughts, Thoughts-

Silver Lining: This is cool in an Eliot Smith kind of way. Yeah, I hear a little Cobain in there but why not borrow a little from what you like, right? I like it and it works as a solo number. It's a little rough but I'd rather hear a little rough than too slick or polished. File under Melancholy Cool.

Anathema: Your voice is a little weak here, especially when you reach for higher notes. But when I say that I think of some of J Mascis' stuff. He really doesn't have a great voice (some would say that's putting it mildly) but over the years he's learned to get the most out of it and I really dig it. I totally relate to how hard it is to get range. I don't sing much any more but if I did I would need to work at it a lot. Maybe a little vocal coaching because really, there's a very cool quality to your voice in there.

She Said: I agree with extremelyhardy388 that the timing is a little off but that can be worked out. Maybe work on keeping the rhythm but breaking it intentionally can be very effective too. Nice little guitar break toward the end there. And its a really cool song. Lots of potential.

Don't worry about not liking your voice. Jimi Hendrix absolutely hated his voice and yet I cannot fathom Jimi sounding any differently. I've tried singing (and maybe someday I'll get back into it) and what's always held me back is that I can't stand my voice. And yet others have told they really like it and I just need to work on it and be confident. But anyway, the main thing is to remember most people don't like to hear their voice. I think yours has a really good, unique quality that has much potential.

Thanks for posting those songs. Keep at it!

Thank you so much for the feedback.
I am getting singing lessons, have had about 5 now and have scales to practice at home.

Keep pushing forward - if you're having fun it will be worth the work!

mfc2006

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

brianlux said:

Here's my thoughts, Thoughts-

Silver Lining: This is cool in an Eliot Smith kind of way. Yeah, I hear a little Cobain in there but why not borrow a little from what you like, right? I like it and it works as a solo number. It's a little rough but I'd rather hear a little rough than too slick or polished. File under Melancholy Cool.

Anathema: Your voice is a little weak here, especially when you reach for higher notes. But when I say that I think of some of J Mascis' stuff. He really doesn't have a great voice (some would say that's putting it mildly) but over the years he's learned to get the most out of it and I really dig it. I totally relate to how hard it is to get range. I don't sing much any more but if I did I would need to work at it a lot. Maybe a little vocal coaching because really, there's a very cool quality to your voice in there.

She Said: I agree with extremelyhardy388 that the timing is a little off but that can be worked out. Maybe work on keeping the rhythm but breaking it intentionally can be very effective too. Nice little guitar break toward the end there. And its a really cool song. Lots of potential.

Don't worry about not liking your voice. Jimi Hendrix absolutely hated his voice and yet I cannot fathom Jimi sounding any differently. I've tried singing (and maybe someday I'll get back into it) and what's always held me back is that I can't stand my voice. And yet others have told they really like it and I just need to work on it and be confident. But anyway, the main thing is to remember most people don't like to hear their voice. I think yours has a really good, unique quality that has much potential.

Thanks for posting those songs. Keep at it!

Thank you so much for the feedback.
I am getting singing lessons, have had about 5 now and have scales to practice at home.

Keep pushing forward - if you're having fun it will be worth the work!

BINGO!!!

HughFreakingDillon

Thoughts_Arrive said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Thank you guys!
Two more song demos I recorded today, let me know what you think:

Without looking at your avatar, definitely can tell you love Nirvana!

Ahh that sucks :-(

No, it doesn't man. If singing and music making brings YOU joy, then that's all that matters. I'm sure all the players here would agree with that statement.

I want to be original.
Then again Nirvana ripped off the Pixies and Bob Dylan copied Woody Guthrie.
Which of my songs remind you of Nirvana?
Thanks for the encouragement!

I'll check these out at home later.

in the meantime, I recorded a 3 song EP with my old band years ago (I played bass and sang). One person i work with told me: "yeah, your voice sounds like that guy I don't like". I laughed. She meant Eddie Vedder. I was surprised, as I've never really felt that my voice was similar to his at all. Maybe it's my tone more than anything, i don't know (but I listened to the songs again recently, and I also hated the sound of my own singing voice). But to be told a) I don't like the sound of your voice, and b) it's totally unoriginal, it was a one-two punch I wasn't expecting.

just take it in stride.

many songs I have written, after I've completed them and thought "this is awesome!", I have realized after how similar it sounded to another artist's song, and it is SO deflating. But at the most recent Winnipeg PJ show, Ed told a story about how, after all these years, he recently realized how I Got Shit is IDENTICAL to Neil Young's Cinammon Girl, and he thought it was nice of Neil to never say anything, so they played I Got Shit and tagged it with CG. some artists wear their influences on their sleeve, others don't. like someone else said, it doesn't matter as long as you are being true.