Clean and Sober

2

Comments

  • deadendp
    deadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    I've watched my brother deal with this same struggle. I know that it is difficult. We're here for you! There are plenty of us here who welcome PMs from you, if you so need. Truly. We all mean it.

    In the meantime, congratulations. :tears:
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • WhatYouTaughtMe
    WhatYouTaughtMe Posts: 4,957
    Keep fighting the good fight. Awesome to hear about people taking their life back on here.
  • Amongst the Ani
    Amongst the Ani @Wobbie Posts: 7,790
    I'm back at work today and my lord does it feel weird. I have never seen this place without some kind of small haze on my mind. I was completely functional so no one knew. In addition my best friend retired while I was away and today was the first time I saw his office completely empty. It was also nice in a strange way to also feel sad for it. I threw him one hell of a going away week before I started this but as always never let myself process that he was going to not be around all day to make fun of all the idiots in the office. So as strange as it sounds feeling sad is a nice change. Day 8 is today and I'm doing well. As always thank you so much to everyone who has sent me PM's with words of encouragement. You are an amazing bunch of degenerates.
    Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's
    Fuckus rules all
    Rob
    Seattle
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    No pm from here - would rather publicly cheer you on.

    So well done, sir! I hope the family-front is going good too.

    (and yes, that melancholy feeling can be sweet and comforting in itself)
  • Wobbie
    Wobbie Posts: 31,274
    Good job, bud! :clap:
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
    Missoula 24
  • Hobbes
    Hobbes Pacific Northwest Posts: 6,438
    PJSiren said:

    Hobbes said:

    I think you've taken some great strides these last few days. I am proud of you. I know inpatient treatment can be difficult with, well life and all, but have you considered going to NA meetings? That form of group therapy can work wonders, especially in early recovery.

    Like many have said, I'm here if you need to chat.

    I'll have 9 years this summer clean and sober. I'm an alcoholic/drug addict. Drug of choice: Heroin.

    Heroin is what my cousin is kicking...any advice I can pass along?

    Don't know that she would take it...she's in an angry place but like I said doing well, going to her NA meetings and Parole meetings and all that stuff...and been doing good for her son...so I'm proud of how far she's come...but I ask cuz you've got 9 years and if I tell her that maybe she'll listen...I dunno, I can hope anyway...

    Thanks!
    Anger is a secondary emotion. She needs to find the source of her anger be it sadness, shame, guilt, fear, etc. Those are primary emotions and need to be looked at honestly. It's tough, for anybody, addict or not. Ultimately she needs to know that it's okay to feel that way. Cdysinge is feeling sadness for his friend and co-worker retiring. That's great. He's feeling something. There was a quote in treatment, "If you bury your demons, you might accidentally bury your angels, too." We numbed ourselves for so many years that now all emotions will surface. We want to feel joy, well be ready to feel sad as well. But it's okay.

    And if hope could grow from dirt like me. It can be done.
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Hobbes said:

    PJSiren said:

    Hobbes said:

    I think you've taken some great strides these last few days. I am proud of you. I know inpatient treatment can be difficult with, well life and all, but have you considered going to NA meetings? That form of group therapy can work wonders, especially in early recovery.

    Like many have said, I'm here if you need to chat.

    I'll have 9 years this summer clean and sober. I'm an alcoholic/drug addict. Drug of choice: Heroin.

    Heroin is what my cousin is kicking...any advice I can pass along?

    Don't know that she would take it...she's in an angry place but like I said doing well, going to her NA meetings and Parole meetings and all that stuff...and been doing good for her son...so I'm proud of how far she's come...but I ask cuz you've got 9 years and if I tell her that maybe she'll listen...I dunno, I can hope anyway...

    Thanks!
    Anger is a secondary emotion. She needs to find the source of her anger be it sadness, shame, guilt, fear, etc. Those are primary emotions and need to be looked at honestly. It's tough, for anybody, addict or not. Ultimately she needs to know that it's okay to feel that way. Cdysinge is feeling sadness for his friend and co-worker retiring. That's great. He's feeling something. There was a quote in treatment, "If you bury your demons, you might accidentally bury your angels, too." We numbed ourselves for so many years that now all emotions will surface. We want to feel joy, well be ready to feel sad as well. But it's okay.

    And if hope could grow from dirt like me. It can be done.
    Dunno if it's synergy or what, but some thoughts / words posted here lately have resounded in lovely ways within.

    Your post reminds me of Jeff from SVT - "not what to feel, but to feel".
  • SD48277
    SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    cdysinge said:

    I'm back at work today and my lord does it feel weird. I have never seen this place without some kind of small haze on my mind. I was completely functional so no one knew. In addition my best friend retired while I was away and today was the first time I saw his office completely empty. It was also nice in a strange way to also feel sad for it. I threw him one hell of a going away week before I started this but as always never let myself process that he was going to not be around all day to make fun of all the idiots in the office. So as strange as it sounds feeling sad is a nice change. Day 8 is today and I'm doing well. As always thank you so much to everyone who has sent me PM's with words of encouragement. You are an amazing bunch of degenerates.

    Congratulations on Day 8!
    ELITIST FUK
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    Doing great! One day at a time.. :-)
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    PJSiren said:



    Heroin is what my cousin is kicking...any advice I can pass along?

    Don't know that she would take it...she's in an angry place but like I said doing well, going to her NA meetings and Parole meetings and all that stuff...and been doing good for her son...so I'm proud of how far she's come...but I ask cuz you've got 9 years and if I tell her that maybe she'll listen...I dunno, I can hope anyway...

    Thanks!

    I certainly hope your cousin finds the help she needs...I had one friend who was into meth and it took him going to federal prison for 12 years to get clean-course most people will just say "that won't be me" but he was the same way...'Mr. Invincible'. Another friend is into the heroin, he moved out here to get away after his sister died of cancer. He didn't like it, moved back, started dabbling around in it, then his brother OD'd and died, so now he's disappeared.

    Congrats to cd on Day 8...that's all it is...'one day at a time'.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    edited April 2015
    Hobbes said:

    PJSiren said:

    Hobbes said:

    I think you've taken some great strides these last few days. I am proud of you. I know inpatient treatment can be difficult with, well life and all, but have you considered going to NA meetings? That form of group therapy can work wonders, especially in early recovery.

    Like many have said, I'm here if you need to chat.

    I'll have 9 years this summer clean and sober. I'm an alcoholic/drug addict. Drug of choice: Heroin.

    Heroin is what my cousin is kicking...any advice I can pass along?

    Don't know that she would take it...she's in an angry place but like I said doing well, going to her NA meetings and Parole meetings and all that stuff...and been doing good for her son...so I'm proud of how far she's come...but I ask cuz you've got 9 years and if I tell her that maybe she'll listen...I dunno, I can hope anyway...

    Thanks!
    Anger is a secondary emotion. She needs to find the source of her anger be it sadness, shame, guilt, fear, etc. Those are primary emotions and need to be looked at honestly. It's tough, for anybody, addict or not. Ultimately she needs to know that it's okay to feel that way. Cdysinge is feeling sadness for his friend and co-worker retiring. That's great. He's feeling something. There was a quote in treatment, "If you bury your demons, you might accidentally bury your angels, too." We numbed ourselves for so many years that now all emotions will surface. We want to feel joy, well be ready to feel sad as well. But it's okay.

    And if hope could grow from dirt like me. It can be done.
    Thanks! She actually messaged my mom last night...which was a huge step, as she hadn't been speaking to my mom(her aunt), because of something my mom had said when she was still on the drugs...and so that was good...I was really happy to hear that...she's making progress... I will try to talk to her and pass along your wisdom and see how that goes thank you, hobbes!

    And congrats to cdy for making it another day! I'm so proud of you man! :smiley:
    Post edited by PJSiren on
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • Amongst the Ani
    Amongst the Ani @Wobbie Posts: 7,790
    Thank you PJ Siren. I have a big chore coming up in a few minutes I am bloody nervous about. My friend that retired is coming by to go for a walk. So far I only told him I went on a health kick last week and not why. I decided I want to tell him. I want to tell him as once he knows he will kick my ass if I go back. I think in my life I have met two real life angels on this planet. One was an old boss when I was in high school and then him. I know he would do anything for me like I was his son (he is 20 years older). He doesnt have kids and kind of adopted me when we met. I almost have two fathers in a way. As ashamed as I am to tell him (I have disappointment issues with those I care about) its better I tell him for my long term goal of staying clean.
    Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's
    Fuckus rules all
    Rob
    Seattle
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    You'll be in my thoughts, and sending good vibes your way, you can do it! :smile:
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856
    Way to go cdsinge! Hope the talk with your mentor went well. I'm guessing he suspected something was up and will be proud of you for taking this step.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    oftenreading said:

    Way to go cdsinge! Hope the talk with your mentor went well. I'm guessing he suspected something was up and will be proud of you for taking this step.

    I agree!
  • Amongst the Ani
    Amongst the Ani @Wobbie Posts: 7,790
    Actually he had no idea but gave me a hug and told me was proud. It was actually a very touching moment.
    Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's
    Fuckus rules all
    Rob
    Seattle
  • Hobbes
    Hobbes Pacific Northwest Posts: 6,438
    This makes me smile. You are taking steps on the right path....
  • Amongst the Ani
    Amongst the Ani @Wobbie Posts: 7,790
    edited April 2015
    I should add I should have known better. The guy followed around the Dead for a few years. Its why I love him. Despite the fact he was a very successful guy you would almost not know he was 60. He is still a dead head at heart but a modern version that still loves to smoke a bowl on the weekend.
    Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's
    Fuckus rules all
    Rob
    Seattle
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    cdysinge said:

    I should add I should have known better. The guy followed around the Dead for a few years. Its why I love him. Despite the fact he was a very successful guy you would almost not know he was 60. He is still a dead head at heart but a modern version that still loves to smoke a bowl on the weekend.

    So now you have even
    More support! This is great and it makes me smile!
  • Wobbie
    Wobbie Posts: 31,274
    Hope you're hanging in! Be strong.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
    Missoula 24

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