Heartbreaking...

catefrances · December 2012

Loulou wrote:

catefrances wrote:

i heard about one little girl who said to her mother that she was okay but all her friends were dead. it just breaks my heart.

Awful, just awful. How the hell is that going to psychologically effect those children? How on earth could you get your kids to go BACK to school? Terrible..

i think about that all the time. i find myself stealing glances at the toddlermonster(who has just finished her first year of school) and thinking how she would cope... how we would cope... and how the community would cope if such a heinous thing happened in our school. but i draw a blank cause its just so incomprehensible. and then my thoughts wander back to newtown.

Hugh Freaking Dillon · December 2012

I think about that too. How my sweet Katie (6) would deal with her two best friends, and all of her other friends, being dead all of a sudden. I think she'd be damaged psychologically for good. that's not, by FAR, a normal childhood experience.

My little Samantha (3) breaks out in tears if she doesn't get a hug from me before I leave for work every morning. I can't imagine the despair of losing her best friend/big sister.

I need to go to bed. I feel like I need to do something. I don't know what.

Byrnzie · December 2012

pandora wrote:

Prayers so soothing. Dr. Phil mentioned that faith will help the victims young and old
get through this. It really helps to know you can talk to your loved ones passed.
This expression so healing.

No offence, but this really takes the meaning of 'gibberish' to a whole new level.

gimmesometruth27 · December 2012

Byrnzie wrote:

pandora wrote:

Prayers so soothing. Dr. Phil mentioned that faith will help the victims young and old
get through this. It really helps to know you can talk to your loved ones passed.
This expression so healing.

No offence, but this really takes the meaning of 'gibberish' to a whole new level.

yeah i would like to see prayers sooth these children.

all they know is they were in a room, got shot at, and they are still alive and some of their friends are not. and jesus, who is supposed to love children, did nothing to stop it. no prayer is going to soothe that. why would they pray to someone who is supposed to love and protect them? especially in a 6 year old where they do not have the life experiences to cope and they do not have any sort of perspective to help them deal with it. thanks for nothing dr phil..

cincybearcat · December 2012

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

Byrnzie wrote:

pandora wrote:

Prayers so soothing. Dr. Phil mentioned that faith will help the victims young and old
get through this. It really helps to know you can talk to your loved ones passed.
This expression so healing.

No offence, but this really takes the meaning of 'gibberish' to a whole new level.

yeah i would like to see prayers sooth these children.

Well, if they and their families are religious I do hope it helps comfort them. Believing in god and an afterlife I imagine could help comfort in a situation like this. You could feel like you are really talking to your friend during prayer and feel at least somewhat ok that they ended up in a very good place. So writing it off seems pretty callous. Obviously because you don't believe it wouldn't provide any comfort, but not everyone thinks exactly like you do.

This is such a ridiculously terrible situation. I hope some good actions and change come from this. WHo knows, maybe this is the tipping point. I want something good to come from it, those kids deserved far better and they certainly deserve better from us and our government.

gimmesometruth27 · December 2012

cincybearcat wrote:

Well, if they and their families are religious I do hope it helps comfort them. Believing in god and an afterlife I imagine could help comfort in a situation like this. You could feel like you are really talking to your friend during prayer and feel at least somewhat ok that they ended up in a very good place. So writing it off seems pretty callous. Obviously because you don't believe it wouldn't provide any comfort, but not everyone thinks exactly like you do.

This is such a ridiculously terrible situation. I hope some good actions and change come from this. Who knows, maybe this is the tipping point. I want something good to come from it, those kids deserved far better and they certainly deserve better from us and our government.

maybe you are right cincy. i had a lot of friends die when i was a kid. one got hit by a car when i was 9. one blew his head off at 14 when i was 12. one had leukemia and died at 13. one died of throat and tongue cancer at 19. i was raised catholic and i was raised to pray every night. i prayed to all of them. it helped me to fall asleep, but when i woke up the pain of their loss and the feelings of abandonment were still there. and i carried that pain with me for a long, long time. i could not imagine being 6. nine was too young for me to experience a schoolmate's death.

something good has to come from it. no kid should ever have to experience this, and going forward hopefully none of them will.

hedonist · December 2012

cincybearcat wrote:

Well, if they and their families are religious I do hope it helps comfort them. Believing in god and an afterlife I imagine could help comfort in a situation like this. You could feel like you are really talking to your friend during prayer and feel at least somewhat ok that they ended up in a very good place. So writing it off seems pretty callous. Obviously because you don't believe it wouldn't provide any comfort, but not everyone thinks exactly like you do.

Watching the news this morning, I saw an interview with a boy in Newtown, maybe nine or ten, saying how praying was helping him and making the ordeal just a little less horrific. Good for him, and for whomever else turns to whatever peaceful means they have to cope.

(edit - to gimme, I just read your other post up there, and while I don't think praying, religion, whatever, takes all the pain away, it can help in that moment; better than no reprieve at all)

Zoso · December 2012

So sad : (

comebackgirl · December 2012

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

I think about that too. How my sweet Katie (6) would deal with her two best friends, and all of her other friends, being dead all of a sudden. I think she'd be damaged psychologically for good. that's not, by FAR, a normal childhood experience.

My little Samantha (3) breaks out in tears if she doesn't get a hug from me before I leave for work every morning. I can't imagine the despair of losing her best friend/big sister.

I need to go to bed. I feel like I need to do something. I don't know what.

It's definitely not a normal childhood experience. Such horror for them to have to experience first hand. Many of them will experience survivor's guilt. It will be a long road ahead in terms of healing, but it is good to see so many people rallying around to support them. I hope that support doesn't fade away. The grief will continue for some time.

I'm not a religious person and I don't pray and I'm uncertain about an afterlife, but what has helped me after a loss is remembering that my relationship with the person doesn't just go away. I can still have conversations with them and I know exactly what they would say in response, what their expression and demeanor would be, how they would look and how it would feel to talk to them again...and I don't have to give that up. My relationship with them isn't gone, it's just different. I think that's maybe what Pandora was referring to, and I have also found it helpful.

Heartbreaking...

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