Floating at night

justam
justam Posts: 21,415
edited May 2012 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Like mist on a field, damp
shadows on a tree, that lamp
bright moon sky above
no shoes, a thought: love
obviously it's time to grow past a past
(it is, at last)
it's time to be free of childhood woes
(it is, Lord knows!)
but what's still coming?
it's time to dream again with heart drumming
(clean slate)
is it possible, at this date?
to erase it all and forget dull skull negative?!
I think it is, but I'm sensitive

swimming at night, a bit cliche, it's true
but the weather's getting warmer,
and when I feel like this, what else can we do?!
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Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    edited May 2012
    I put this into another thread but this would look right in here too. :)

    cherapunji-waterfalls2.jpg
    Post edited by justam on
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  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    justam wrote:
    Like mist on a field, damp
    shadows on a tree, that lamp
    bright moon sky above
    no shoes, a thought: love
    obviously it's time to grow past a past
    (it is, at last)
    it's time to be free of childhood woes
    (it is, Lord knows!)
    but what's still coming?
    it's time to dream again with heart drumming
    (clean slate)
    is it possible, at this date?
    to erase it all and forget dull skull negative?!
    I think it is, but I'm sensitive

    swimming at night, a bit cliche, it's true
    but the weather's getting warmer,
    and when I feel like this, what else can we do?!

    I like this...ALOT
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Thanks! :)

    I don't usually bother to try to rhyme anymore, but sometimes it's fun to do it. :D
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  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    justam wrote:
    Thanks! :)

    I don't usually bother to try to rhyme anymore, but sometimes it's fun to do it. :D

    no, rhymings definitely not necessary
    for songs & lyrics, its good to sometimes come close
    this sounds like it would sound good spoken out loud

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