Mom having a hard time

I can totally relate. My kids are now 7 & 4 and I work school hours, but when they were little I always found it hard to fit in with the other mums, even now I found it hard to relate to the school mums - most of who don't work and live quite priviledged lives.

I used to take my kids to all sorts of activities like music and gym etc and didn't really care if I made friends or what the other parents thought of me or my children. I now have a cool group of mum friends who as Claire said are pretty normal looking but pretty wacky individuals.

Being a parent is an awesome, rewarding, hard, tiring, isolating job. It can be heart breaking to think that you are losing your identity - just remember you are still you. Good luck 8-)

pandora wrote:

I was the same age with my son. All my life I have never fit in.
All our lives I've never fit in.

Now almost 30 years later the adult kids have only praise for that.
Just be the kind of person you want your child to be,
that would be my only advice.
For me that was accepting and appreciative of others and life, friendly and independent.

Good luck ... enjoy!

I do not have children so I do not have experience with which to offer a lot of parenting advice. But I do have experience being a non-conformist who never feels like they fit in - for me, it's probably a result of my profession because I never felt like the odd duck until I went to work at my first professional job (I'm a CPA...but I am about the most 'bohemian' CPA you will EVER meet! None of my colleagues know what to make of me at all outside the numbers). And Pandora's advice is absolutely brilliant, IMO.

Pandora - wish I had met you IRL when I lived in Atlanta. You are one COOL lady. You really are.

All you can be is who you are. It might not fit the mold of what people 'expect'...but since you really can't change to suit others without being miserable yourself, you just have to be the best 'you' you can be for your kiddo...and hope that you can find a few friends who will 'get' what you are about.

I am an aunt to a high school senior and a college sophomore....and I can tell you that out of 9 aunts and uncles they have, they are by far closest to me. I think because, while I tried to instill good values, etc...I also instilled in both of them the idea that it's okay...and even COOL to be different. And I didn't do that by just saying it, while I looked and acted like 'country club mom'. I did it be actually BEING different, and giving myself permission to do that, regardless of what others 'expected'. Sometimes at great professional cost...but oh well. I am who I am.

I Am Mine and all that. :P

Hi there, :wave:
I have a 19 month old little girl and I find the exact same problem. I take her to the library for story time and to playgroup and I can't stand most of the boring, monotonous convos either. 'My little Winston hates banana, I give him apple and sometimes pear.....blah blah blah" Just because you don't relate to them doesn't mean you don't love your child. You tried didn't you?
I guess just keep yourself open though because they are not all like that. I find some of the Mums at the playgroup down right obnoxious, they even have little cliques!