Cyber-stalking: creepy or no?

_
_ Posts: 6,657
edited January 2012 in All Encompassing Trip
Okay, "stalking" is too strong a word. I'm talking about Googling someone you're interested in to find out more about them. I know many/most people do this these days (especially young, single people) - but far fewer people own up to it, so I don't think it's considered the norm quite yet.

So is this creepy? For instance, if you start dating someone you've been Googling, should you admit to it? If you start dating someone and find evidence on his/her computer that s/he's been Googling you, should you find this behavior creepy? Or flattering? Or just par for the course these days? At what point does it cross the line?
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Comments

  • Digital Twilight
    Digital Twilight Posts: 5,642
    Yes it's creepy. Stop doing it! ;)
  • Suziemay
    Suziemay Posts: 11,168
    It's called being careful. Just don't drop in pieces of information you find out on the internet into conversation if the person doesn't know you googled them; then it becomes creepy. This is the world we live in now, things exist on the internet, might as well use it to your benefit. If you're comfortable you can admit it. I sometimes admit to googling someone if it's not going to freak someone out.
  • stargirl69
    stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    I have never googled anyone but I have had it done to me and it did freak me out a bit,I'd rather if people wanted to know stuff about me,ask me.
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • philthehip
    philthehip Posts: 2,084
    From a very personal experience I can tell you its a totally soul destroying time. Email, bank, personal finances and pretty much anything you can imagine and its totally invasive to the point you may not feel safe online.
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    stargirl69 wrote:
    I have never googled anyone but I have had it done to me and it did freak me out a bit,I'd rather if people wanted to know stuff about me,ask me.

    But if you haven't actually, technically met the person yet, then it would be even creepier to start asking questions directly, no? ;)

    I once Googled myself because I had just started dating a guy I figured was going to Google me & wanted to know what he'd find - and I'm glad I did. Apparently some local blogger who I don't know and whose blog I had never read listed the 5 people in town who she'd turn lesbian for - and I was one of them. And it wasn't just a list; she even wrote a description of each of us (and listed where we work). Coincidentally, one of the faculty members in my department came across this a week later. I'm glad I wasn't caught off guard when he mentioned it, though it was still awkward. :oops:
  • stargirl69
    stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    _ wrote:
    stargirl69 wrote:
    I have never googled anyone but I have had it done to me and it did freak me out a bit,I'd rather if people wanted to know stuff about me,ask me.

    But if you haven't actually, technically met the person yet, then it would be even creepier to start asking questions directly, no? ;)

    I once Googled myself because I had just started dating a guy I figured was going to Google me & wanted to know what he'd find - and I'm glad I did. Apparently some local blogger who I don't know and whose blog I had never read listed the 5 people in town who she'd turn lesbian for - and I was one of them. And it wasn't just a list; she even wrote a description of each of us (and listed where we work). Coincidentally, one of the faculty members in my department came across this a week later. I'm glad I wasn't caught off guard when he mentioned it, though it was still awkward. :oops:

    When I found out they said they never found anything on me as I am not on twitter,facebook,blogs etc.This is the only site I am on so all people would get from my site name would be thread posts.

    I would still rather be given the choice to be asked questions directly then decide if I wanted to answer them.

    Maybe I should google me and see what comes up :lol: My name is fairly unusual so if there is anything out there about me,it won't be hard to find.
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • sherm
    sherm Seattle, Wa Posts: 708
    It is creepy. Ive never been on Myspace, Facebook, Twitter. It all freaks me out. Im just way too private of a person. Luckily my name is pretty common. I would think if it was gooogled I wouldnt be the person who came up.
    Detroit 03, Toronto 03, Toledo 04, Kitchener 05, London 05, Cleveland 06, Detroit 06, Cincinnati 06, Chicago 07, Mansfield 08, EV Chicago 08, East Troy 11, Pensacola 12, EV Jax 12, Wrigley 13, Pittsburgh 13, Dallas 13, OKC 13, Detroit 14, Ft Lauderdale 16, Miami 16, Tampa 16, Jax 16, Sea 18 
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    philthehip wrote:
    From a very personal experience I can tell you its a totally soul destroying time. Email, bank, personal finances and pretty much anything you can imagine and its totally invasive to the point you may not feel safe online.

    I don't think we are necessarily safe online, and I'm not sure there's much we can do about it. My sister once agreed to help her mother-in-law track down her real father. All she knew was his (not particularly uncommon) name, that he lived in town when her mother was dating him 55 years ago, what his degree was in, and that he like fly fishing. She was pretty quickly able to find him, get pictures of him and his family, find out how much money his business made and what charities he donated to, and find his social security number, date of birth, address, phone number, email address, etc. Of course she wasn't going to use this information for any bad reasons and in this case it was good that his info was out there so she could not only find him, but be pretty damn sure he was the right guy before contacting him (the fact that his daughters look just like my sister's MIL really sealed it). But, yeah, this info could totally be used for evil instead of good. (And good is even relative in this case. Maybe the guy didn't want to know he had another kid.)
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    But so, just to play devil's advocate... on the pro-Googling side, we have to admit: (1) that it's human nature for our curiosity to get the best of us, and (2) that if someone really didn't want others to, say, watch videos of them performing music, they wouldn't post such videos of themselves on YouTube, right?
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    I've looked online for info onpoeple and have no remorse. If you don't want it known don't post it.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • stargirl69
    stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    81 wrote:
    I've looked online for info onpoeple and have no remorse. If you don't want it known don't post it.

    Agree with last sentence
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • SPEEDY MCCREADY
    SPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 27,052
    Ya know what I find creepy??
    And rather sad???

    People who use the internet to live a life of make-believe....

    You know what I mean...

    In real life I am a Truck driver...

    But on the internet I am the President, CEO, and Founder of Speedy's Trucking. I have been in business for 25 years with locations nationwide, specializing in LTL and Truckload deliveries...hehehehe
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Be safe...go ahead and look.

    I have been stalked. He was deemed 'likely to re-offend'

    I have googled my name...didn't find anything that would link me to anything unsavory...though my name is now on a Google commercial... :?
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • conman
    conman Posts: 7,493
    i just googled myself.. all i found was my fb account and a few obituaries :?
  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    I just googled my name and town....I'm fucking EVERYWHERE! :lol:

    A photo of me is even in fucking google images! :lol:

    That's what happens when you own businesses I guess.
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • TS96221
    TS96221 Posts: 45
    if you are looking up a prospective date, you have to be careful because so many people have the same name.

    I remove myself from directory websites. you know those ones that show possible relatives? those are good at matching up unrelated people!
  • EmBleve
    EmBleve Posts: 3,019
    philthehip wrote:
    From a very personal experience I can tell you its a totally soul destroying time. Email, bank, personal finances and pretty much anything you can imagine and its totally invasive to the point you may not feel safe online.
    I think it's natural curiosity and sometimes a safe thing to do, but if somebody gets into trying to find out stuff like this, then that is crossing the line. :? Some people intentionally put info in like to linkedin and stuff like that, so they put it out there...
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    when i google me it says,
    did you mean...

    08547be02b0e13d9b0eb85abc93fdb8f.wix_mp
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    _ wrote:
    Apparently some local blogger who I don't know and whose blog I had never read listed the 5 people in town who she'd turn lesbian for

    damm ... is there a better compliment out there!? ... :lol:

    i property manage my friends house and i google everyone that applies for an apartment ... as for dating - it's been a while since i had to date but prior to that i can't say that i did ... but i don't think there's anything wrong with it ...
  • EmBleve
    EmBleve Posts: 3,019
    chadwick wrote:
    when i google me it says,
    did you mean...

    08547be02b0e13d9b0eb85abc93fdb8f.wix_mp
    omg. call me. :lol:

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